Being Cynical™: February 2010

An Evening With Aurangzeb!

Published on: Tuesday, February 16, 2010 // India, Public Interest, Story

Someday back one of my office friends did send out a mail on the very attitude of we Indians glorifying entities of history more than what they deserve, and ornamenting them with a larger than life image. In the same way maligning few others to the core making them look no lesser than Amrish Puri of Mugambo fame.

What is that driving us to be so judgemental and conclusive without knowing the facts. Is it the bad and wrong history that been taught via the millions of government supplied history books, where truth is far fetched as history is fabricated to support someones ego and want. The fact is good history is rarely about good guys and bad guys but unfortunately we follow this simplistic logic while going over our history, resulting in putting on a perception pair of glasses while engrossing it. I believe that history should be presented as it is, no biasing, no fabrication or no forced conclusion and the readers should be left to decide the good or the bad for themselves. I was sure that our text books are being pathetically modified, God knows for what and whom, so I always had a fascination for all those controversial & bad characters or so being pictured in books.

Do you remember the folk who was a religious Muslim, anti Hindu? Who tried to forcefully convert them and taxed them for visiting their religious place? You got it: The poor snobbish chap, the Aurangzeb. I had a long fascination of meeting this brat, just to see how a person can be so cruel and bad. Thanks to Albert Einstein and his Time-machine which I could lay my hand one fine day accidentally. Punched all the red, green, yellow buttons as shown in some old hindi movies. Boom!! there I go. Out of nothing I found myself in front of the Red Fort in Agra in a jiffy. Goodness gracious, there is the emperor himself sitting at the top left block of the fort and stitching caps the Muslims put on. I can easily see the outline of his face through the illumination of the lamp in front him. I must have made some noise on my time defying arrival, I thought as the emperor looked at me and visibly astonished with my look, artier and the funny looking stuff I am riding. Being aware of his attitude towards we Hindus, as per the books I was dearly fearing for my life. No sooner my thoughts started to take few more wings, the main door opened with a Khali looking guy jumped out asking me to accompany him as the Sultan himself wants to see me in close ranges. Oh God, save me. Save me from getting converted or worst loosing my life is all I was thinking while moving to the front door of the fort.

As I entered inside, I could see the small temple at the corner with a lady lightning a Dia. The lady must be from this bad guy's harem I thought, which later on being cleared to me that the temple is there as the belief of the Sultan is to respect all religions equally. Once the introduction was over I was comfortably being placed in front of the emperor, he enquired about my locality and place. I don't know if the Sultan did understood much about the time-machine but could easily negotiate that I am from a future time. When asked about the purpose of my visit, I begged for my life before explaining all the history that we are taught and my subsequent fascination of meeting a real bad guy. A huge laughter followed which we can only associate with a Sultan. Let me correct your history a bit, if you are ready to believe me said the emperor. I couldn't decline this generous offer. Could I? Shoot your queries ordered the Sultan..

It is primarily suggested that you were an anti Hindu and believed in forced conversion. What is the ratio of Hindu and Muslim at present he asked. 4:1 I replied. That's the same now also. He looked happy. See if I am so fond of conversion then let me assure you, there wouldn't have a single Hindu roaming around in this part of the world, let alone being four times than the Muslims. I am ruling for last 50 years and Mugals for last 1000 years, if I had wished all would have been converted to Islam long back. I hope I answered this query of yours, ended the Sultan politely. But you were never a pro Hindu either, like your forefathers: Akbar or Jahangir, in fact you hate Hindus, I argued. Is it? he said. If I am guilty of such a bigotry then how come I have a Hindu as my military commander-in-chief ? when I could have easily kept an efficient Muslim for the same post. In fact today all my state policies are formulated by Hindus, he added. For your info two Hindus hold the highest post in the state treasury. He looked somewhat upset. After a brief silence he started again. Even some prejudiced Muslims questioning my decision on keeping non-Muslims in such high posts. But I believe in Sharia, which demands right persons in right position. This is the reason why Jaswant Sing, Raja Rajrup, Kabir Sing, Arghanath Sing, Prem Dev Sing are all holding high administrative posts. He ended this long sentence with a shy. I don't know why my forefathers are shown in a brighter light for their multi-ethnic culture of their court where Hindus were favored, when they had only 14 Hindu Mansabdars (High officials), I have 148 of them. He finished with still breathing heavily.

But our history says that you have demolished many temples, I asked. With a smile in his lips he said, same goes here also. If I had such an intention then, there would have been no temple standing by now, let alone the small one that you are seeing at the corner of this fort. He then suddenly asked one of his orderly in Urdu to bring some documents. On the contrary I have donated huge state estates for building temples and supports thereof in Benaras, Kashmir or elsewhere. He said this while showing me the documented proofs that he has just asked for. Go to Balaji temple and there you would find a stone inscription showing it is me who has commissioned the construction of it, he added. In fact I have granted land for Kasi, Varanasi temples, he said this with frustration while showing me another set of documents.

But weren't you re-installed the Jizya tax on Hindus for travel to religious places which were abolished by your forefathers ? Which tax on what ? He seemed bewildered. Oh God. Jizya was never a tax for holy visit but it has something to do with state's development or best you can say a war tax. It is only collected from able-bodied non-Muslims of this state who did not want to volunteer in the defense of the state. He explained. We even don't collect it from women, immature male, old male or guys who are fighting for the safeguard of the state. The tax is to make sure that the lives of the tax payers is safeguarded during war. If by any manner the state fails to protect a tax payer then the total tax is returned back with interest. let me add to this he said. The Zakat (2.5% of the savings) and Ushr (10% of the agricultural product) were collected from Muslims who have some wealth, of course after a certain threshold called Nisab.The Muslims also pay Sadaqah, Fitrah and Khums, which are never charged from Hindus. As a matter of fact the per capita collection from Muslims are many fold than what we collect from Hindus. He explained while showing me another set of documents as proof of his explanation. In fact I have abolished 65 different type of taxes on Hindus there by incurring a 50 million loss to the state treasury. Now he was visibly upset over us on we fabricating the history intentionally to show him in a bad light. As I was still with a huge fear within in being sitting alongside, perhaps the best, scholar, magnanimous, tolerant and far sighted emperor India has ever had, I though it is best for my health and well being to stop this questionnaire then and there.

Not before I was treated with all the Muglai delicacies , I wasn't allowed to leave. But before I could leave the great emperor back in history I didn't forget to ask him the reason on why he himself is stitching the caps when he replied his household runs on the money he earns from this stitching and the Korans that he sells which he himself again writes in his own hand, as he never consumes a single penny from state treasury for his personal reason. Hats off to this great emperor and I strongly feel, it is high time we change or rather correct our history for good. Sir I admire you.

P.S :- I am a hardcore, orthodox Hindu.

Being An Indian

Published on: Thursday, February 11, 2010 // Appeasement, Corruption, Dirty Tricks, India, Public Interest

Few self formulated questions off late are making me think, if I am a real Indian. And as always I get the answer no. Why is that, I can't convince myself through a mirror as shown in Hindi movies, or through all those self formulated questions to believe in myself as a true Indian. I tried it just five minutes back and alas, I failed again. Guess I need to put myself on the judgement courtyard of some third party to answer or rather convince me on this.

Am I really an Indian ? Because have never slept half stomach for the night. I never being deprived from having my education. I never had travelled in the smelly general boogies of Indian Railways. I never had stood in a queue to collect 2 litre of kerosene through control card. I never had washed car windscreens on traffic red lights to pay my college fees. I never had molested girls in DTC buses taking advantage of the rush hour. I never had beaten up few poor chaps only because they don't understand or speak, the language I speak. I never had fooled a billion people by my gimmicks of staying overnight in a dalit's hut. I never had stashed millions of tax payer's money in Swiss bank. I never had pelted stones on someone whose views doesn't necessarily matches mine. I never being the part of that 60% who never vote. I never had lit a candle on the name of the dead, forgetting the larger picture. I never asked the part where I live is to be carved out to make a new state. I never had taken money in the name of gift just to do my regular duty. I never had travelled in local trains with at least 1000 cops surrounding me, just to satisfy my ego. I never had mis-used my power or position if I ever had. I never had erected a statue or smarak of myself. And last but not the least, I never have fallen into a gutter after drinking like a dog. Oops!! so many nevers. In fact it is only about 10% of all the nevers I have ever done.Now you guys can understand my dilemma in considering myself an Indian. Thanks to all these nevers which we Indians either do, or used to, or appreciate or slave enough to tolerate in our day to day life.

Why we Indiana are so tolerant to nonsense. Either we are seen digesting it or doing it most of the times. And to top it all we believe in complaining and conspiracy theories of every nature and magnitude. Corruption has rapidly become a part of our democracy and lately of our life. From grassroots to the helm we all are corrupt to the core. Let it be the Hariyanvi conductor in DTC buses to the Babus in not so posh government offices.

Sometime back the ever vigilant trafiic police caught me without my seat belts fastened and driving in a busy intersection of Pune. The cop more interested in my seat belt than the approaching traffic made me halt in the middle of the road and directed me to park on the left for questioning. Kudos to NaMo for spending more than 10 hours with the SIT, because I felt like going to hell and back in those 10 minutes of my questioning with the cop that followed my parking on the left. For the first five minutes, the cop gave me a lecture on the latest rules being passed deliberately to curb down nuisances like me and the the subsequent fine of Rs.300/- attached to it. Am I supposed to give that ? I asked along with explaining how a responsible driver I am and my fascination for seat belts, and how, it is just that I had forgotten for the first time probably to fasten it. None of my explanations went down with the Khaki clad guy it seems as he opened his Chalan book to report a fine. 300 bucks is getting a bit high, don't you think so? I tired to be suggestive, after losing all hopes on my explanations. There goes the Chalan book, promptly being closed and tucked away. It could be less, informed the cop, trying to be cheeky with his smile. Pay 100 bucks to me and get lost. He added. Honestly I followed the elementary mathematics of which is grater than what and handed over a smiling Gandhi and got my back off the hook, of course with my seat belts fastened.

This is how we all individuals contribute to the mayhem called corruption. I could have gone with the 300 option and could have asked for the receipt, but I selected the other rout. Now the green leaf with Gandhi, who happens to be the epitome of honesty fallen into a wrong hand or rather wallet. I sometimes feel Gandhi should be taken out of our currencies, more of showing respect to the great soul, than maligning his name by having him smile on the currency notes. The simple man who might not have seen more than 1000 bucks at a time is seen smiling in those currencies which Mayawati gracefully adored via a multi crore garland not long ago. Is it the disrespect to our currency or more to Gandhi by Mayawati is still debatable.

After writing so much , still I am doubtful, if I am a true Indian or not. My occasional confirmation (Paying 100 bucks to the traffic cop), isn't helping either. Some intelectual of highest degree of decor might suggest, if you feel not being an Indian for so many nevers you haven't done ever, then I hope all of our population become non-Indian someday. It's better being not a true Indian if all these nevers qulaify as being one.

Save The Tigers !

Published on: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 // Corruption, India, Public Interest, Save Tigers

If Mahendra Sing Dhoni is to be taken seriously for once then only 1411 or so number of the said creature are roaming around India or rather in Indian Jungles, National Parks, Zoos, Cages of all those circuses that we have. Or the number is excluding the animals dancing around the fire balls on ring master's hunter noise, just to appease Tinku and Tinki who have paid Rs.15/- per head ticket for the last row?

Could there be a mistake on the part of all those chaps who took the pain in going around all those places which has got the remote possibility of having one of these beasts and keep on counting till they reach the 1411 magical mark? Like any other government funded project there is every possibility that there could be a chance of basic mathematics going wrong, eventually ending with a far lesser number than we actually might be having. Thanks to the corruption and laziness everywhere. Finally there is one positive outcome from the corruption and laziness. The wild cat suddenly caught a lot of attention as the small number made many feel disturbed. Keeping aside the guys and their mathematics or the lack of it, if experts are to be consulted, then what ever may be the counting process and effort, we might not fetch more than 1700 wild cats at the maximum in India. Of course including all those appeasing Tinku and Tinki. Disturbing indeed.

Rather than concentrating on this disturbing statistics, Jayaram Ramesh is busy annoying few Punjabis by announcing the non-inclusion of BT Brinjal in main stream. The aspiration of all those Punjabis of having the Baigan ka Bharta and Paratha vaporised in the process. The wild cats, least expected to be vegetarians have little or no interest in BT Brinjal or even in Mr.Ramesh, either physically or his antiques. I feel sorry for these poor tigers as nobody whose actions matter are seem interested in them, largely because none of them quite aware of the repercussions of loosing our national animal completely and secondly these poor creatures don't constitute any vote bank either. One of the initiative to safeguard the extinction of tigers is to equip them with voting rites. Then I guess they would take precedence over BT Brinjal. Mr.Chawala, are you listening?

Corbet and Shimlipal are two official tiger reserves in India along with a handful of the creature residing in Nandankanan zoo, majority of which are white. Thanks to un-controlled poaching and the entry of politics into our jungles even, the two national parks are relieved with Tiger and left hanging only with the word reserve. The places are now reserved for picnickers, ministers wanting to cool their respective backs in PWD guest houses far in the jungle, reserved to provide safe heaven for all those anti socials to carry out their nefarious activities. Reserved for what not, but not for tigers, for whom it was reserved at the first place. The only losers other than the tigers in this whole shift of reservation were the Policewalas. No wonder they are not warming their pockets with gifts from the poachers off late but seen doing sundry stuffs for all those Sarkari babus who come to spend some time in the breath taking surroundings of the jungle. This Sarkar is neither doing anything for the tigers nor for we poor souls living here in the neighbourhood of all these non existent tigers, said a visibly angry looking police sub-inspector while washing the underwear of a babu.

The reason for us to lose at least 80% of our national animal in less than half a century is the mindless urbanization. Coupled with the nonchalant attitude of the authorities towards our wildlife and non accountability for the millions, which we were supposed to be spend on wildlife and environment but eventually been spend on various luxury items of the ministers and babus and on their holidays in Andaman & Nicobar. In this colony of crooks of various kind and religion, the poor cat was a spectator. Rather a mute spectator and witness to the siphoning of millions which should have gone for their rehabilitation but went instead for the purchase of jewellery, a nice piece of land near the sea side, for the reception of the mantri's youngest daughter's marriage. With this more caring attitude towards respective bank accounts and wife's jewellery box than the tigers our national animal did a disappearing act gradually. At some point I even think the circus walas are far better than these buffoons, as the tigers are at least a bit safe in their hands.

It's time our environment minister drops the argument on BT Brinjal and start thinking about our national animal. If the proceedings in Shastri Bhawan and all the forest offices goes on as it is, then very soon we might have to choose another animal to be emblem with the national stamp. How about having a wild donkey or a fox as a replacement Mr. Ramesh? I hope somebody should take care of the beasts in a proper way as I seriously don't want to show my grand children the tiger in drawings only and I dearly don't want to miss the dialogue of Raj Kumar in movies: "Jani. Sheron ko marne par, srakar bhi pabandi laga chuki hai. Wese sher bache bhi kitne hai jungle main."

Aman Ki Asha

Published on: Thursday, February 4, 2010 // Dirty Tricks, India, Jokers, Losers, Pakistan

Sahruk Khan in a TV interview did said that he is an Indian and like all true Indians he feels everybody is welcomed to visit our country, even if they are Pakistanis or otherwise. Yes Mr.Khan, nobody disputes your nationality, but the issue is much larger than few Pakistan cricketers playing in IPL or release of your forthcoming movie My Name Is Khan. I am no way saying what the Thackreys and various Senas are doing is correct, but frankly the issue is much larger than the Thackreys also.

In a recent initiative by a media house in the name "Aman Ki Asha", they are trying to bring peace between the two nations by virtue of more people to people contact. Their argument in for their effort is that in ground reality the people at both parts of the land are same and love to have peace and harmony. Wow! sounds really tempting with a thought that someday a would be friend of mine in Pakistan will send me a box full of dry fruits from Rawalpindi along with the recipe details of Lahori Chicken. Let me comeback to realty. The only thing I can expect happening is the last word of this initiative getting fulfilled. There are thousands counter and genuine reasons why such efforts won't ever bear any fruit.

Along with clarifying on his nationality SaKha went ahead showing his dissatisfaction over none of the Pakistani players being selected in IPL. He also added that how beautiful a neighbour Pakistan is and how fortunate we are to have them one. As per him people out there have a strong love feeling towards we lesser souls. So bottom line we should forget all bitterness and join him in appeasing the beautiful neighbour we have.

Why this generosity Mr.Khan ? If may I ask. I don't see any love feelings either by action or words from that side. I could be grossly wrong if you have seen any, which I doubt you had. After getting snubbed off the IPL auction, the so called beautiful neighbours started shouting and went on accusing who and who of our Sports, Political as well as Entertainment fraternity. In a breakfast show of one famous Pakistan channel, Sohail Tanveer was seen interviewed. Where answering on the IPL fiasco he said: Hinduaon ki Zahaniyat hi Yesi hai (Hindus are by nature like this). Indirectly pointing that we did deliberately invited them to humiliate. The journalist also responded to his words by saying we Indians are Baniyas and we have a Bagal Main Churi aur Mu main Ram Ram attitude. This is what people out there feed, think and tell early morning. This is what these gentlemen have for India and Hindus in general. Is this the love of our neighbours for us you were talking about Mr.Khan?

The glaring inconsistencies in Mr.Khan's words are quite prominent. I am sorry to say if Pakistan is a great neighbour then I am Albert Einstein. Without mincing my words let me say Pakistan is a deadbeat nation and a drag on India's progress. I don't see any reason why our Home Minister should be apologetic for the IPL drama. He was grossly disappointed on non inclusion of Pakistani player as he termed it as disservice to cricket. As per him it is the players who are coming as individuals not a Pakistan team. Hope he somehow gets a chance to see the Sohail Tanveer interview.

The country were divided on the basis of religion and somewhat instigated by Jinnah. Is that what love is. If that was not enough there were 4 major wars stage managed and started by our lovely neighbours. Does this fact doesn't disturb you Mr.Khan and our Home Minister sir ? When you blatantly talked about your sadness on the exclusion of a bunch of players you never take into account on the attitude of guys at the other end. They don't thought twice before airing Sohail Tanveer's interview providing a platform to spit Anti India & Anti Hindu venom, that too in the prime time. I can't even remotely think if any of our leaders would be seen spitting venom of this volume in National channel in prime time. So HM why this olive branch flying from our side always where the other side are as hostile and rough as they used to be some 60 years back. Enough of this forgive and forget attitude more so being displayed by the Khans, the Bhatts, the Brakha Dutts and the Chidambarams.

No wonder Mr.SaKha, the Sivsena or as a matter of fact all Senas are dead against your new movie getting released in Mumbai. If you closely analyze, it is you who is solely responsible for this happening, which you only initiated by your uncalled for sympathy towards the other side. If you feel you are going to be financially hit by your antiques, then I suggest you to change the name of the movie to Nishan-E-Pakistan and release it there. I bet it would be a huge hit there, because as per you there are a huge bunch of loving people eagerly waiting for you to hug. By the way somebody should stop this tamasha Mr.Bachhan is doing with his poem Nazar main Rehteho, in the name of Aman Ki Asha. There should be a line drawn at some point and it is about time we do it.

Boozing Traffic

Published on: Tuesday, February 2, 2010 // Jokers, Losers, Public Interest

No sooner Ms. Nooriya Haweliwala rammed her car into a police patrol van, which was specifically positioned to keep a vigil on drunken driving, the Delhi attitude of, if anyone can do something good, we can always do better came to existence. In no time, to compete or to overtake Mumbai on drunken driving, one spoiled brat rammed his car with a vegetable vendor, who was cycling back to Azadpur Sabji mandi for his morning business. In both the cases the results were fatal, only the sorry part was the innocents who lost their lives while the culprits boozed their way to the police custody.

Ms. Haweliwala admitted of loosing control over the car because she has to lift her head up in a desperate attempt to take a sip from the beer can while driving over 100 Km/Hr. By the time she finished taking the sip, the car has already rammed into the patrolling van and to the poor motorcyclist who was strangely giving breath analyzing test. The end result: the poor chap relieved of his breath while giving the breath test and the police SI who was taking the test was later relieved of his breath in the hospital.

If this was not enough, on the same day an air hostess rammed her car in Kolkatta while driving with the influence of alcohol. Thankfully there were no causalities but the lady is heard to be struggling with her life in a private nursing home.

Now what all the Haweliwalas tell us? that there is something going grossly wrong with our society where in to be part of the so called modern culture, we are even ready to put our own lives in danger, let alone caring an ounce for others. Some say Ms.Haweliwala is one off case in Mumbai as drunken driving is a completely North Indian phenomena same in line with molestation, which maximum believe is a North Indian prodigy. if statistics to be believed, then definitely the north part of our country contribute a majority chunk to both drunken driving as well as molestation, but somehow I feel it has got more to do with pan India presence. More precisely a metro culture at least. All four metros and the up-coming metros are contributing handsomely to this epidemic.

Delhi has a long history of producing drunken drivers of highest carder. From millionaires to the DTC bus drivers, it seems Delhi also offers a rare variety for the hapless deceased to choose. Whether he would prefer to die under a BMW or a smelling DTC/Blue Line bus. Sanjeev Nanda infamously did the act sometime back when he preferred to drive his BMW in the footpath than the wide Delhi roads. As a result mowing down at least 7 people on that fateful night. When tests were conducted on him it was figured out that one could have easily opened a pub with the amount of grog Nanda's stomach was containing. Every now and then death of one or the other under Delhi buses has definitely some connection with the Devdases (Strictly in terms of gulping down the liquid) driving them. Guys caught while driving under the influence of alcohol generally get some strong reprimands and most of the time just left Scot free by offering few hundred bucks as bribe. When somebody unfortunately looses his/her life for the bravery of the driver then the media harps over the case for few days so that it comes to the knowledge of all Indians in turn forcing the cops to book the culprit under Culpable Homicide not amounting to murder. The bail for this crime is readily available and the culprit gets off the hook within no time and back behind the wheels with a bottle of beer in his left hand. No wonder the Sanjeev Nanda case dragged upon for close to a decade at the end offering little to the poor souls.

Authorities around are struggling to zero in on a fool proof plan to curb this menace. Few are even smugging the idea of employing plain clothed watch dogs in front of all those places which serves liquor and pounce on anyone and everyone who comes out with a shaky leg and goes behind the wheel. So to say to nip them in the bud. But this could not be a fool proof plan as there are so many black market outlets present in every city.

Even if the cops might be knowing their exact location and their owner's name and PAN card no even, they won't voluntarily disclose the details, which would turn few revolving eyes towards them. Banning of alcohol completely would be one option though the idea might not go too well down all those who make a fat wallet out of it. How about formulating a law banning boozing in public places and naming all those pubs, hotels, bars, roadside dhabas, illegal liquor marts as public places, suggested one. Naa.. Not possible, as we would loose quite a hefty amount that we take as gift while sanctioning licences to all those places, replied a babu. So we are back to the same bottle again. The only option left, is to keep on continuing using the breath analyzer kit to see the jaw strength of individual patrons. Please spare me from this exercise voiced the Pappu Kangi look-alike Havildar. If it was not for my once in every half an hour peeing habit, I would have easily been the third casualty in the hands of Ms.Haweliwala.

Thank god I got the urge to relieve myself at the nick of time. Pappu Kangi looked genuinely grateful, both to God and his peeing habit. How about educating students from early days in colleges about the repercussions of drunken driving? What rubbish. Uttered the Babu in chief. How can we teach guys about drinking when we are not even allowed to show some one drinking in Televisions. This would be grossly against Indian spirit. Last thing I want in the pursuit of curbing down drunken driving is to annoy few folks back their in our Information Broadcasting ministry.

So the meeting stands cancelled till we get some fresh ideas on our hand. Till that point please continue using the breath analyzer kits, this time keeping a safe distance from all those Haveliwalas and Nandas. If possible get in touch with guys in IT industry like Nandan Nilkeni or Narayan Murthi to figure out if we can have technology helping us doing this exercise remotely without endangering ourselves being in the firing lines of all those spoiled brats who prefer boozing while driving. Get going gentlemen and I want some concrete results soon.

Amchi Mumbai

Published on: Monday, February 1, 2010 // Dirty Tricks, India, Losers, Public Interest

I need to consult my wife on whether we should continue keeping our maid, as she is not a Marathi by birth. Because the last thing I want is a vault of anger from the Thackreys or the Chauhans for outsourcing the job out of Maharastra and depriving the Marathi manoos of prospective jobs. Till we come to any definitive conclusion on keeping the maid on our pay role, I have advised the maid not to utter the exact geographical part of India to which she belongs, as a precautionary measure.

After Raj Thakrey ate a huge chunk of Sivsena votes in last general election, which the sena chief admitted for their debacle, just by playing the Marathi Manoos card, without doing anything for them, Sivsena slowly folded itself into the same mode to cash in the already heated up situation. The ruling coalition felt this is not going the way they want as they were previously happy with Raj Thakrey, for just eating into Sivsena's votes. To catch the remaining manoos, which either were not fasinated with Raj Thakrey's face or idea, the ruling govt decided to play their own card on this direction. So came Mr. Chauhan and announced that in order to drive in Mumbai as a Taxiwala, you need to be a Marathi first. If you are not one then you would be branded as Bhaiya universally and would be packed back to your respective native places for good.

Now where this taxi came into politics? Irrespective of weather you are a politician or not you need a taxi at some point or other. In fact politicians might not need them ever as their garage is already over packed with luxury cars. It is the common man who were seen running after taxis in their day-to-day life. If we go by the records treasured in files at the municipality office, which keep a note of all those complains filed by customers for last century or so against the Taxiwalas and Taxis, I doubt we would find even one citing language being a center point of the complain. But strangely the govt forgoing all those millions of complains against the smelling taxis, rude behavior of taxiwalas, fatal condition of the vehicle, to even the taxi not equipped with a decent audio system to play their favorite Shahruk Khan songs, they thought of setting right the thing for which there are least of complains or none.

After making the high command red faced Mr. Chauhan did a U-turn, much to the relief of all those bhaiyas who play taxi in Mumbai. Few were happy that for the time being they were not forced to go to a primary school to learn Marathi, at the same time rest were skeptical about the move and the subsequent U-turn of the CM. Mr.Chauhan on records later affirmed that he is been grossly mis-quoted by the media and he has only asked the taxiwalas to know either of Marathi, Hindi or Gujurati to be eligible to drive. Now Sivsena and MNS are red faced. Which red face can Mr.Chauhan digest is long to be seen. But for the time being all is well and bhayas are back in business.

Not only bhayas, but it seems the marathi manoos are long been harassed by a bunch of other entities. Corporate giants like Mukesh Ambani, icons like Sachin Tendulkar are also part of the harassing list. Already Bal Thackrey has shown his dissatisfaction for these two gentlemen and advised them to refrain from spreading anti marathi sentiments. Mr.Thackrey, Mumbai is better known for three things : Bollywood, Cricket and the financial capital, than just marathi or bhayas running taxis all around. Of course we can skip Dawood Ibrahim and the Thackreys who equally made mumbai famous, for the time being.

Now lets see where Mumbai stands without these three. Honestly there isn't much Maharastra left in bollywood, which is comprehensibly been taken over by short stuffs like Amir Khan, Sharuk Khan, Salman Khan. I don't see any Khadelkars, Sindes, Wadalkars or Desais dominating the bollywood or at least dominating in next 30 odd years even. In the women section it is again over powered by all the Chopras, Bachhans, Kapoors leaving girls like Rakhi Shawant to squeeze in somehow to do some odd item numbers. So the remaining marathi in bollywood are the Rakhi Shawants only. Sorry to say there isn't much to take home as a marathi.

Gone are those days when guys like Sunil Joshi, Ajit Agarkar, Nilesh Kulkarni got the chance to be part of Indian team. If it isn't for Sachin Tendulkar, people would have long forgotten Maharastra as a contributer to Indian cricket. The little master is the last man standing. I don't see The Ajinka Rahanes, Abhisekh Nayars making any serious contribution to Indian cricket. I won't be surprised at all if I don't see any marathi getting the Man of the match award again, once Sachin decides to hang his boot.

The finance part of Mumbai is taken care by all the big corporates present there. The said companies are biggie not because they have their head quarters in Mumbai, but because they have a wide spread presence. Strikeout all the profits and business they make across India and ask them to survive with the income done within the Maharastra geography, I bet all of them would go bankrupt within a day. So the boasting of Mumbai being the financial capital needs some serious introspection as people across India are somehow responsible and contributor in making it one.

I hope the Thackrays and the Chauhans would someday understand that Mumbai has got a much bigger identity than just the marathi manoos. Irrespective of one being Bhaya or Bhabi, has got some role to play in making this city a vibrant and loving destination for many. Sooner these guys understand this fact, would be better for all those millions living in Mumbai and for Mumbai at large.

Being Cynical�

Calling a spade, a spade