Being Cynical: March 2010

Modi & Bachhan Vs Gujurat

Posted by Cynical in Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Now I am sure I took the right decision when I rejected to head a delegation of my previous company for an IT cultural meet some years back. I was bang on target when I didn't endorsed the idea of being an ambassador if not the brand of my company. Never sure who might have taken what short of objection to share a dais with me or worse even dropping my name from the participants list. Thankfully I somehow managed to save myself from some embarrassment and for all those hypothetical characters who might not have fancied me being an ambassador for my company and sitting beside them, maligning their reputation, value and all together their existence.

But Amitav Bachhan is not that lucky or should I say, not that foresighted like me to avoid such embarrassment. I struggle hard to find who is at the wrong end of the debate which is going on since the inauguration of the Bandra-Worli sea link last week. Is it AB or Gujurat or Modi or BJP or Congress or all of the above ? Can't get a better objective type question for sometime, I assure you. Some would say remove one of the options, either Modi or Gujurat, as according to them both are more or less the same.

It all started with Maharastra CM refusing or objecting to share the same podium with AB on the occasion of the inauguration. More than AB he has a huge objection to AB's endorsement as ambassador of brand Gujurat, which Mr.Chief Minister thought otherwise as brand Modi. Is Gujurat untouchable or Modi? If the answer is the later then how does it matter to the CM if one odd Gujurati is untouchable. There could be so many Modis, Patels who could be termed untouchable socially for their act or action, whether proven or not doesn't matter. But the CM doesn't care about this simple logic it seems as he went ahead attending a literary function in Pune one day ahead of schedule, just to avoid sitting alongside AB. This act could be termed unethical, if I may say so. The least expected from a people's representative is to show respect to individuals, whether they have voted for him or not.

Modi, in his blog vented his anger on all those who support Chauhan's philosophy by terming them as Talibans of modern day India and went ahead announcing the fiasco as insult to all the Gujuratis. How is that so Mr.Modi? Modi is not Gujurat or Vice-a-versa. So how does anyone objecting Modi concludes to be objecting the whole of Gujurat, along with the famous wild donkeys of the Ran of Kutch. Interestingly the congress party, whether they accept or not believe that Modi is synonym to Gujurat and the reverse. Or else why Mr.Chauhan object to AB's acceptance of promoting Gujurat's tourism has anything to do with who is the CM of Gujurat, even if he is as prominent a figure as Modi's.

Even if we accept for once that Modi is Gujurat then even I don't see a problem or issue. Why Modi is so untouchable among the congress party? Is it because of the Godhra riots? or he being summoned by the SIT and asked to spend a better part of 10 hours, chit chatting with them on what happened some 8 years back? or is it because Tista Setelvad thinks so, whom the honorable supreme court snubbed with the harshest of languages for manufacturing false and parroted witnesses in Gujurat riots case? In the case of Gujurat at least 100 odd rioters fall to the bullets of the security personnel unlike 1984 where not a single soul was seen protecting the poor Shikhs. I am happy that I didn't had to hear the most absurd of statements "The earth shakes, when a big tree falls" after the riots, when I do feel the Train burning episode is equivalent to falling of a big tree.

Keeping apart politics or individuals political gain, why AB is being sandwiched? Modi was correct in saying, in the same sense lets boycott Tata Nano, Amul Butter and Denim jeans. Shouldn't we? In the larger aspect it is more to do with vote bank politics than anything. Modi is keeping his cards close to his cheast and so as Chauhans alike. None is bothered about what happened in the Train burning and the thousands died after that, irrespective of who played a role to which extent. Latest being Abhisekh Bachhan dropped from the guests list at the recent earth hour celebration in Delhi where Ms.Sheela Dixit following footsteps of Chauhan did show little or no compassion for the larger issue of Go Green funda.

I never knew this brand ambassador thing is hereditary. Father being an ambassador implies son being a victim also. Now I am double thankful that neither my father nor my grandfather ever endorsed anything or never being an ambassador the least. I am saved.

Mango Man

Posted by Cynical in Friday, March 26, 2010

Thanks to R.K.Laxman for giving some much needed identity to the Mango Man (Aam Admi), through his caricature. His effortless endeavour over last five decades finally brought this not so important individual into various spectrum's of Politics, Policies, day-to-day hassles and in some bandwidth of latest technology as Twitter, Orkut .

When Laxman started with his cartoons, he initially tried to put one individual of every state in his drawings to represent the whole India. According to him, he used to get complain mails if he somehow misses any representation of any state. That's where he brought about this figure of Aam Admi, in a torn attire, seeing the wrong happening everywhere but a mute spectator. The uniqueness of the Common man till date is, he never speaks. His wife is been seen quite vocal at times but the Aam Admi is still a mute spectator as he used to be some 50 years back. To honor Laxman and the Mango Man, Times Of India erected a bronze sculptor of this hapless chap in their office building which according to Guinness book is the largest of any comic character in the world.

As shown in the movie "A Wednesday" and adequately being highlighted by Naserudhin Shah, the common man is the last man standing to face all the misdeeds of everyone else. Let it be as grievous as getting killed in bomb blasts to as minor as paying his hard earned money to the highway robber called the tax man. This is the individual who goes by the law, does his duty as a Son, Brother, Husband, Father, pays his taxes on time, does some odd community service, but end up getting oppressed every day.

Somehow this common man never fits into any one's grand scheme of things. Nobody seems bothered about this fellow who could be the best citizen of the country.

You comeback from office after a hard days work and switch on the lights, nothings gets illuminated. You scratch your head and give a call to the local fuse call office. Not to mention, you need to be a real lucky if someone picks up the call from that end. If at all one does then you would ask yourself why I spend time and money calling these guys. Frustrated you you open the tap, it sputters few drops and goes dry. This time you don't bother calling anyone, but feel like slapping yourself as hard as possible. Now as per Laxman's character you sit there and wait for your wife to speak or so to say, complain for you.

Whom to blame thinks the Mango Man. Is it the Sarkar ? who are busy with Headly, Rana, Kasav, Didi, Mayawati, Raj Thakrey, All the Yadavs, Sashi Tharoor. Or is it the efficient administration installed by the Sarkar ? the babus who are busy with scams, buttering, doing their masters in crookism and buffonism. Ironically you find none to put your complain even. You sit again and start complaining and blaming yourself for just being a Common Man. You cry on your fate on why you are not a VIP or better a VVIP, so that all stuffs would have been on the press of a button.

Suddenly you see a sea of changes on your wife's behavior. She is more happy if you bring home a kilo of Onion or 1/2 kilo of Udat Ki Daal, than presenting her a pearl set. She now believes in affirmation that a kilo of Sugar or Atta is costlier than Gold, Diamond or even the never seen Platinum. She no more nags you for the gold ornament that you had promised during your honeymoon some couple of decades back. Ask the Sarkar on when you can mark a difference between your neighborhood Kirana shop and the high flying jewellery shop down the street. There is a complete silence giving you the 'We care a damn if you don't find the difference you fool' impression. IPL is definitely high on priority for our Agriculture ministry. Now again you sit back for your wife to complain or wait for Laxman to put you in his next drawing the next day in TOI.

If these are not enough, you are going for a walk on a lovely morning and a man completely covered with black attire comes to you and shoves a gun up your nose or any other openings he finds on your body and enquires about your income. Being allergic to gun, and more so when it is shoved up your nose, you divulge this personal information. Now he shoves the nozzle of the gun bit further up your nose in one hand while in the other takes out a calculator and does some mathematics quite unclear to you. Once finished he yells at you to give 30% or some X amount of you income without making any noise or complain. Due to the gun you oblige him and then he throws a paper at you to sign to acknowledge that you have given him your hard earned money. You think, hang on. Shouldn't it be the other way round. Before you could ask, the man with the gun has gone with your money.

No one seems interested for this helpless Mango Man. All starting from our Sarkar to our efficient babus, are their for themselves. All they are interested in, to make sure that the object in local language fondly known as Bamboo, to be administered too promptly on our respective hapless backs as and when felt necessary and required

Kick Boxing Ministers

Posted by Cynical in Tuesday, March 23, 2010

When Vijender Sing won a Bronze medal in last Olympics, he made a somewhat unknown sports in India, popular overnight. Youths suddenly got exited by this new sports and paid their rich tribute to Mr.Sing for bringing in some glory back home from Beijing. Along with the youth few of our politicians got exited in the process and thought of taking this sports seriously on their professional life. Some high end babus also joined the bandwagon in paying tribute to Mr.Sing in their own way. Mr.Sing might just be thinking: hell I really did encouraged too many people for this sports. Thankfully none yet has shown that much enthusiasm towards Abhinav Bindra's achievement.

Latest politician to show some interest in the sports is a minister in current Maharastra government. According to him when he was agitated to the limit by a co-party worker , then and there he thought of showing his gratitude to Vijender Sing. Hence came the punch and kicks straight missiled at the poor co-worker landing the fellow in hospital with a broken rib, a badly swollen face and blackened eyes. Ask the kick boxer on the morality around his martial arts, he is ever defiant as from the time he landed the first punch.

One of my friends once said these Vijender Sings are somewhat to be blamed for all the mockery that's happening in both houses of our parliament. Those hurling punches, uprooting of mikes, using chairs, tables as boomerang has definitely a Sing's connection. Not long ago a senior bureaucrat in Mayawati's UP government was shown on TV slapping a Bank Manager for not approving loans to his kith and kins, friends, guys who might have paid him bribe to get the loans through. Fortunately he only stopped at slapping not going forward with his kicks and punches. Perhaps on the process of learning those tricks, I presume. Mayawati did appreciated his martial art skills and elevated him to a senior position, rather than showing him the door for his unruly behaviour. Should I say this the way of UP Chief Minister to hail Vijender's achievement?

Not to be left behind Mulayam Sing showed his slapping skills not a long ago during general elections 2009. Rather than co-operating with the working methodologies of elections he was seen slapping an un-identified entity on TV. The poor chap's face was not in the frame of the TV camera, but from the look of it, I am sure the slap must have landed right there on his right side. After slapping the dirt out of the way Mulayam went ahead and started arguing with the chief election officials who was absolutely right on his stands. Fortunately again he stopped there at the slap. He also must be learning the remaining tricks of kick boxing along with the burecrate.

Uma Bharati is no lesser mortal. She has already proved that and proved again when she slapped one of her key workers in front of public glare for disrupting her rally. The gentleman in question after getting a tight slap did announced to the media in a press conference which followed the slap gate, as Ms.Bharati is like an elder sister to him, can slap him for his misdoings. Ahh, a thorough gentleman he is. Honestly I won't appreciate if even my own elder sister slaps me in public, let alone an elder sister like. Hats off to you sir: Both for getting the slap and went on to admit you deserved it.

On a serious note, all these incidents make me think : are these the same guys whom we have voted to power. Do we really deserve these anti social, non civic people to be our representatives? Rather than looking at core issues they are up in arms and don't even think twice before going physical. Did I made a mistake by casting my vote?. I know these are unanswered queries and would remain unanswered for some time as the persons who are best to give these answers are we ourselves. The sooner we get rid of these politicians through our votes is better. Being optimistic, if I have to take something positive out of these martial art series then, as I have said earlier: "Thankfully none was seen too serious appriciateing Avinav Bindra's achievements".

See-Evil Servants

Posted by Cynical in Sunday, March 21, 2010

Thank God Subhash Chandra Bose did gave a lesson or two on patriotism to the interviewer sitting across during the ICS (Now IAS) exam and threw away the opportunity which many won't. Or else Mr.Bose won't have been one Netaji and India might not have got a brave son like him. Instead he would have been busy taking up a huge cabin space in any state secretariat or worse in some places like Shastri Bhawan and would be planning on how to gulp down few crores of Tax Payers money, without even cared to bother about Hajmola .

Indian Civil Services exam has a long history and a pride factor for UPSC as sometime back Time magazine tauted it as one of the toughest exams in the world. Our then HRD minister, oblivious about the exams toughness or easiness did tried to take credit of this latest pride by announcing the very reason of this exam being so tough. In the process of selecting the best, efficient and of course honest officers to serve the nation with authority we are left with no option but to make the entry process as though as possible. I feel sorry for all those hopeful participants which this exam gives a constipated look, he added. Oh really? Serving, Efficient, Honest? So many oxymoron in one sentence. Was he talking about the same guys who after clearing this exam do become a parasite called Babus?

What about the selection procedure for all those crooked politicians whom these Efficient and Honest officers report? Fooling masses, mafiosi deep rooted in blood, masters in nefarious activities. Are these the scoring points for these bosses of the Babus? Pass through all these points and you are there shown doing all the nonsense in both houses of the parliament and of course few of these buffoon babus at your disposal. No doubt the exams for both the Masters and their servants are though. Time magazine was bang on target.

Nobody cares for all those soldiers who die on daily basis. Nobody even cared when Limba Ram was shown staying in the garage of one of these so called Babus. Nobody cared when Dhanraj Pillay cried on national television saying hockey would be the last sport he would ask his son to opt for. No body cared for that unknown athlete who won a medal in Asian games, shown selling vegetables in the same street dedicated to his name. The officers who were responsible to look into it were busy syphoning tax payers money along with their scandalous Mantri bosses.

All that's happening wrong in our country has got a major contribution from these bureaucrats. A young, vibrant officer at the entry but a corrupt, lazy brat at the exit. In the middle stacking truck loads of green leafs in various banks for at least next seven generations. You don't need any further example than S.P.S Rathore on the honesty of the Civil Servants. The other day a paper carried a disturbing news of one IAS office was apprehended by the authorities on the ground of his very intimate association with the highway robbers. The association was so intimate that he has many times accompanied the robbers in his official vehicle so that the thugs can get away smoothly on police check points. No doubt he has a major share on the bounty of all the robberies. God save India if these are the outputs of world's toughest exam. When asked to clarify on this dubious behaviour of his junior, the Cabinet secretary, with his mouth full with our national pass time, the paan, gave a very non authoritative answer. What else can be expected when the Chief Minister of the very state was once a big time fugitive in couple of murder case. The association of the thugs, is heard trying to get that robber IAS officer get off the hook.

Whoever has visited any government office needs no further essaying on the very attitude of the Babus. The mantra is loot and let others loot, with a photo of Mahatma Gandhi on the wall and the golden scripts of Satyameva Jayate. The bureaucratic ladder ending with respective ministers is full with national looteras at every step. I won't be surprised if a fully clothed gentleman before, seen coming out of a government office only with his under wears. I would say he is lucky enough to be left with the undies to cover up his modesty. Save us from this mayhem of scoundrels, who are output of the world's toughest exam. Need some serious introspection on the exam in discussion.

Swayambar of Comedy

Posted by Cynical in Thursday, March 18, 2010

Saint Valmiki must be turning in his grave and cursing himself on why he choose a Swayambar to be the litmus test for all the prospective candidates to get married to Sita. He could have chosen a simple arranged marriage, or worse a love marriage could have done. But why a Swayambar, why?. He must also be contemplating the idea of getting out of his grave and rewriting that particular part of the epic all over again. His own idea of showing the world on the very fact that at that time even girls were given the freedom to choose whom they want to marry, without any restriction or parental pressure and the prevailing women liberty, has definitely been made a mockery off late on idiot box. Thanks to one private entertainment channel which left no stones unturned in giving Valmiki some sleepless nights in his grave along with giving us a suspicion on, if actually passing the Swayambar by lord Ram through lifting the Siv Dhanu well above his head when other participants failed to move it even an inch including guys like mighty Ravana, is actually an act of bravery or not.

Where are the social, moral and cultural police, who cry with the drop of a hat. Isn't the proceddings in TV is a real set back to our culture and defying the very idea of Valmiki on why he choose Swayambar as a podium to get married Sita? Few would agree that lately the Idiot Box is getting really Idiot, specially in the evening hours. You need to be married and have a wife who is an adherent fan of Ekta Kapoor to realize this. It was somehow tolerable till the point of all those Chaal, Sazish, Dhoka between Sas-Bahu, Bhabi-Nanand, Dewrani-Jethani but these Swayambars on TV are taking a serious toll on individuals mental peace. How guys in the entertainment fraternity could conceive this idea ? You need to be real fertile to conceive such ornamental ideas, I must admit. At least there is one instance to refer on Swayambar for girls (Sita), but what about Swayambar for boys ? Is their any reference of it?

Even if the production houses are running out of fresh ideas and are done with all the Chaal, Sazish, Dhoka in every possible way involving every possible relationship in the face of the planet and are left with no option but to get married one or the other on digital media, then for God's sake do have participants who value, understand and care about Indian culture. When I say participants it includes both, the prospective candidates and the entity whose Swayambar is organized at the first place. But what we end up with is to see Drama Queens, Drug addicts organizing Swayambars for themselves along with a huge bunch of jokers lining up to get married to either the Drama Queen or the drug addict as if this is the only way left for them to get their better half.

When Rakhi Sawant got her Swayambar organized, I thought Ahh!! a watershed event in the existence of human race. The lady of controversies has finally decided to go the family way. I was sure none would come forward voluntarily to commit suicide, looking at the long history of Ms.Sawant. But I was pathetically proved wrong when I saw, actually there are a dozen fools who were ready to run through a fire ball with gasoline all over them. To surprise me more, the host of that epic event announced that these dozen hapless individuals were hand picked among the thousands of applicants after going through a rigorous screening round behind the screen. Our country can't have fools amounting to thousands. No wonder we are still a developing nation, if the host's inaugural speech is correct.

What went after that for a close to a month long painful nonsense can't be scripted. It can only be felt by the poor souls who either have seen the whole Swayambar-1 or Jodha Akbar. Ms.Sawant's acting skills were at it's best when she pictured to be a dream bahu all Sas would love to have. Ekta Kapoor must have her task cut out on what will happen to her serials, if such bahus of the likes of Sawants become plenty? Finally the D-day arrived. The best thing happening to human race. Ms.Sawant selected a joker from the bunch of dozen jokers. I felt the pain would reduce now. But alas, I was second time proved pathetically wrong by the same channel. When many would be healing their wounds inflicted by Swayambar-1 the brilliant minds came up with another show where a dozen of couples, including Ms.Sawant and her latest selected joker, were shown parenting kids of different age group. Honestly I am still getting the pain while describing this mayhem and visual torture.

The inevitable happened finally as expected. Ms.Sawant was back to her theatrical best and seen doing her drama all over again and the poor joker, I don't know where he would be crying with a pillow on his face or worse might be planning to run away to North Pole to live the rest of his life with the Polar Bears. I am not going to write anything on Swayambar-2, as it would be a repetition of same nonsense. The events, characters and proceeding were identical and I don't think the end would be any different either.

In the process I want to console Valmiki to stay cool, which I know is tough but there is no option but to be one, as his idea is very promptly and notoriously being hijacked by the modern day digital Valmikies. Wheather you like it or not, these are going to stay, and I like them also, informed my wife. If you are so concerned about your mental peace, I would suggest you to run away and join that joker in North Pole along with the Polar bears, she added.

Maya Memsahab

Posted by Cynical in Tuesday, March 16, 2010

When the last time I was around Luckhnow, the first thing I requested my brother in law, who was waiting outside the Luckhnow airport (I call this an airport only because the authorities say so or else it's no better than a village railway station), to take me to the historical and holly place where Ms.Mayawati along with her purse and the messiah of the dalits Mr.Kansiram honoring the podium with bigger than life size statues. No mention needed that I also wanted to see those hundreds of life size elephants cordoning the dalit Chief Minister. To hell with Tunde's Kebabs or Abadh's Biriyani, this the first place I want to pay my visit, I persisted with him. If I say I was spell bound, after my holy visit to the holy place and seeing the lady goddess standing their with her purse and the thousand of cores of Tax payers money wasted on this nonsense, where basic amenity for the UPwallas is a distant dream, then it would definitely be an under statement.

What is that made the UPwallas bring back this lady with absolute majority in last election. Is it the high literacy rate in UP, is it Ms.Mayawati really doing a great job (which I doubt and ready to bet my last penny on it), or is it like all Indians the UPwallas are forced to believe that Bull shit is Fertilizer ? or is it mixture of everything? But the sad part is she is in power and mis using it to the best possible extent it could be.

Why she is so obnoxiously arrogant and careless about the guys who voted her to power. You ask any Luckhnow wala, about development, I bet you would hear exiting answers for the rest of your life. A frown, followed by a smile and a third non-descript mutation of the face, would make you believe that they had never heard of any such word called development. Irony at it's best I would say. I don't blame the UP people entirely. What could be the alternative. Mr.Mulayam Sing, who feels that the introduction or rather usage of computers is a bane on society and promises to make UP get rid of this mayhem called IT and computer the moment he graces the CM's post. I feel sorry for UP at times. Most of the time Ms.Mayawati is busy with the nude displaying of her power and authority and Mr.Mulayam Sing is busy looking for the smallest of opportunity to harp on the lady for good or bad. Democracy couldn't be more helpless than this.

Just yesterday, to celebrate the 25th anniversary of a useless party called BSP, Ms.Mayawati never gave it a second thought before spending another 200 crore of Tax payers money. She made sure that all the dalits from across India to be brought in to the gala function where some 2 square mile of air conditioned tents were erected along with 2000 temporary toilets as other sundry items. When the maharani herself arrived at the function, she was greeted by the buttering crooks with the largest garland that I have ever seen.

The garland was made of thousand rupee notes. At first I thought this can't be true. I am ready to believe that Jesus Christ died of over drinking but not this. The ever vigilant journalist loitering around the stage confirmed that, from the look and size of it, the cost of the garland won't be any less than 1 crore at least. When 60% of UP population might not have heard of 1000 rupee currency, how it looks and feels, let alone having one in their hand this garland of currency is definitely a huge disjoint on the faces of all those dalits, maximum of which are there to have a decent free meal for once. For once I am not going to talk about the law and order situation in UP. Least be talked about it is better. You don't need any better example than Azamgarh or Gorakhpur.

Mulayam Sing, not known to be out of limelight spring upon and in order to capture his ever diminishing vote bank asked for a high level inquiry into the spending of this 200 crore. To surprise all Ms.Mayawati did ordered a high level inquiry, but not for the nature of spending but to find the reason of the hundreds of bees those seen flying on her face during her inaugural speech. Her excellency strongly believes that the bees were a handy work of opposition like Mulayam. It is a political vendetta that been avenged against her. Thankfully our bees also entered into politics. It's only to be seen when and how our street dogs, wondering cows, ever diminishing tiger, famous Gujurat wild donkeys enter the politics. Bees were too professionally trained I must admit. They were only told to scare the hell out of the lady without giving a single sting. Have you seen a bigger miscarriage of democracy ever? I haven't, honestly.

It is about time we should throw these buffoons to the places they belong. The best way to do is to make sure we vote and vote for our betterment, our existence and above all for democracy. As long as our politics is managed and dominated by crooks of this stature and of course the helpless bees we are going to get one poisonous sting or other from time to time.

Non State Actors

Posted by Cynical in Friday, March 12, 2010

Can this be introduced as a single word in Oxford dictionary along with coveting Asif Ali Zardari in a grand function for coining it and also announcing it as a watershed event and the second best thing that could have happened to mankind after the discovery of zero? What Mr. 10% wanted to elaborate through this not so long phrase. Does he wanted to mean that all those who don't act for the state are Non State Actors? Does Pakistan state has a production house? Are all those moviewalas fall into this category as they act in movies but not for the state. Is Mr. Sharukh Khan also a Non State Actor of India? Am I also a double Non State Actor as I neither act in movies nor for the state? No wonder this very firey phrase put all our ministers in a jittery along with the Sarkar as a whole. Not entirely because of the context on which it was phrased but the Babus up in the food chain had to mow down few tons of dictionaries to figure out the meaning being closest and best suited.

As the intellectuals kept on struggling to find the meaning of this historical word the world along with Sastri Bhawan and it's inhabitants, more precisely the dhoti clad inhabitants moved forward. After submitting dossier number 117 to Pakistan in a recently concluded discussion between State Actors of both the states, it seems our Home minister is gradually coming to terms with the word. But hang on, said one of the participants of the neighborhood Chaiwala Tapri's group discussion. We haven't seen Mrs.Nirupama Rao acting. Have we? any movie of the Raj Kumar era might be?

I am not that sure if Mr.Salman Basir acts for Pakistan or not either. So conclusively Mrs.Rao is a Non State Actor while on benefit of doubts Mr.Basir is a State Actor. Came out the result of the group discussion. For the benefit of all those hapless chaps and all Indians in larger context our ministry of external affairs should ask for a list of all the State Actors of Pakistan, which I believe won't be too long. This would solve two problems. First, we would have a clear idea of all those in Pakistan's acting fraternity and secondly would help group discussions to zero in on all the Basirs and their acting stature, of the other end, so that none is given any benifit of doubt. Now this suggestion of mine, if implemented, could be another watershed event and might be the 3rd best thing happening to India, if not the mankind.

In the interview that followed the meeting of the state actors Mr.Bashir holding the dossier no 117 in his hand started ridiculing it's previous 116 siblings. According to him all 116 are not worth calling evidence but are piece of litterateurs. Great acting, must be a State Actor he is. As soon I started to feel, all these meeting are heading no where, he threw the tantrums by explaining the meaning of the word Non State Actors. Now the guys at Oxford and the intellectuals at universities across the globe must be breathing easy. According to the greatest State Actor I have seen, Non State Actors are all those entities who doesn't come under or they run away illegally from the State's authority and might and it also carry a perception angle too. So in short, our house maid is a genuine State Actor but when it comes to my wife's perception she is a completely Non State Actor as she always manages to skip away from the might of my wife's authority. A brave lady our maid is. This further elaboration suggest that a person at the same time can be a State as well as a Non State Actor. In fact according to Bhagwat Gita all person belong to both types at some point or the other. So Mr. Zardari was trying to indirectly interpret Bhagwat Gita in his own way.

What about Raj Thakrey? He is a completely Non State Actor when it comes to bash few helpless Bhayias at the same time behaving a nice State Actor when he goes to metropolitan judge to beg for his bail. He is a smart follower of Bhagwat Gita, I must say. Donning both the roles in a span of 1/2 an hour only. You can't be that fast Raj. So you fall into a third category: State/Non State Dramewazs. See Mr.Zardari, we are taking your legacy forward. So this conclusions tell that all the LET, Alquida, JEM, JUD guys are Non State Actors as they don't come under Pakistan's authority. I can understand our maid becoming a Non State Actor for my wife but how these hard core conspirators are becoming one. If so, is the state of Pakistan sleeping when they were getting into the Non State mode gradually. As we have already supplied 117 no of litterateurs, I hope it would help all and everyone in Pakistan, including 10% and all those Non State Actors to gain some knowledge of English and come up with a more logical phrase than this in future.

Zardari effect is catching up fast into our day to day life. When Mr.Sharma's canine got mad and went on a rampage of testing it's jaw strength, landing half a dozen people including our society sweeper in local hospital lining for rabies injection, he was summoned to clarify on this very unruly act of his dog. When he was asked on what ground few will suffer from seven painful injections and all with unbearably smelling toilets, he answered the best way it could have been. See I am extremely sorry for this unfortunate incidence and have my sympathy to those six people who were been punctured and to all for the smelling toilets, but there is little I can do. Because it is the act of the Non State Actor dog who has gone mad and is estranged. But when was the dog behaving like a State Actor to begin with, remain un-answered. Mr.Zardari, could you please come to the rescue of Mr.Sharma? Your 10% is assured.

Being Cynical

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Modi & Bachhan Vs Gujurat

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Maya Memsahab

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