Being Cynical™: April 2010

My sympathy goes to Madhuri Gupta

Published on: Thursday, April 29, 2010 // Corruption, India, Losers, Public Interest

Is Madhuri Gupta anything different from others? Has she done anything out of the blue which we Indians are not very accustomed to? A close introspection to both these question would promptly yield an answer as 'No'. If so then why we are so surprised and bewildered on account of her so called anti national activity and terming her as: 'An Indian as Pakistani mole'?

Being from India, featuring in the top 10 corrupted nations of the world for last couple of decades continuously, we should be the last set of citizens getting surprised by the unethical practices of Ms.Gupta, more so when ethics is the last word in dictionary that we learn or the first word in dictionary that we give a miss. Close analysis of the event would suggest a frustrated government servant not entirely happy with the working conditions got corrupted. If you ask corruption, what is that? then I better stop this blog here itself. If I don't here anyone asking this, then I have all the sympathy for this lady on two accounts. First for getting corrupted, irrespective of whatever the scenario and second being leveled as anti national and queued alongside Kasav and team.

Is she anything different from all other government officials? Yes of course she is. Technically she got corrupted by help of few outsiders. But isn't it just that she has to be posted in foreign land on account her nature of job. If she would have been posted in India she would have been equally corrupted and giving all her favors to insiders only. As long as someone is selling the country to dogs, then it hardly matters if the dog is our citizen or not.

So why this selective amnesia towards Ms.Gupta? When we as a society are corrupt to the bottom and there are more thugs than gentlemen, then why single out Ms.Gupta? Remember the effort needed to get a ration card? You need to grease the already over oiled palms of the Babu to get this. Even to be eligible to grease his palms, you first have to oil the palms of the peon with a smiling Gandhi before you could enter the holly cabin to continue with your greasing work. Try approaching the local RTO office for a driving licence all of your own without a tout beside you. The lady behind the desk would give you that unspoken impression:'Can't this idiot just get hold of a tout to get the work done?'. To get the license you need to fine tune all, starting from the lady behind the desk to the babu known as RTO. Corruption hasn't spared our temples even. Pay Rs.100/- to the pandit in Jagannath temple Puri and he would make sure that you enter from the back door to get a glimpse of lord Jagannath much before the door opens for the lesser mortals waiting outside. Want your pregnant wife to get at least the required attention in a government hospital, you have to bribe: from the midwife to the sweeper and at times even the gynecologist.

In this collection of crooks why then blame Ms.Gupta? Only because she got corrupted in a foreign land? The other day in a discussion over this spy gate one of the jurnos was describing how the Pakistan foreign minister clearly washed off his hands from this. I couldn't understand whether to laugh or cry. What the juron was expecting: the foreign minister would come forward with open arms and accept their involvement in making one Indian corrupt and beg apology from us? Our media has turned into a big kids show. When the guys at the other end could easily term the most powerful of evidence in 26/11 as nothing but set of literature then are they going to admit their involvement in turning one frustrated Indian to a corrupt Indian?

When our national character is questionable, then lets not point our fingers to an individual only because she was caught doing the act. I am sure there would be millions of such Guptas who would be doing more heinous of crimes behind closed doors. When we can find one of our ex prime minster's name featuring in scams involving the purchase of defence items and do nothing about it, then we hold no moral authority to question one individual who happens to be a Urdu translator in a foreign office. As I said before: From the colony of buffoons one thug was singled out and I have my sympathy for her, not because she was caught or because she was singled out but it is giving chances to other thugs to be sitting on their posh living rooms and giving gyan to their teenage sons on patriotism and how not a responsible citizen should behave taking Ms.Gupta as an example.

Khushboo! Who ?

Published on: // Bollywood, Dirty Tricks, Humor, India

Lecturing and giving Gyan is the best and easiest possible job in the whole world. Easy because, all you have to do is to sit somewhere and give all the Gyan available in the world on spirituality and how to be one good human being without bothering much to follow those yourselves and more so none would be asking if you yourself are doing the 'Walk The Talk' or not either. More than the easiness factor it is the good pay from this Gyan distribution which is creating millions of Swami & Prabachan factories in India. Thanks to the huge bunch of emotional & immoral culprits and thugs who want to wash away some of their sins through the association with these Godmen.

When it comes to Gyan distribution, there are in fact two categories of entities. One are those who are more inclined towards the green leafs, as described above and another, who are not necessarily in for some quick bucks but want to be in the thick of controversies. Being adherent followers of the philosophy: "Out of sight :- out of mind", they out of nowhere deliver ornamental insights, disturbing and surprising many in the process shaking the whole foundation of ethics & values that were there since the Harappan period.

Lets not talk about the first category as it is been proved beyond doubt on the abilities of those clowns. From Chandraswami to Nityanand, all have contributed generously. Chandraswami being the first spiritual thug of independent India to Nityanand being the latest, if not the last.

In the second category you would find millions of examples. Here comes Khushboo out of the woodwork and started delivering what is right and what is wrong via one of her interviews to a lesser known newspaper from south, some five years ago. Khushboo! Who?, many would ask. Let me assure you, knowing her is least of the requirements as in she is not that important to be known. According to her, having premarital sex is absolutely no crime and educated men around India shouldn't expect virgin brides. Is it? Could someone ask her husband how much he agrees to this path breaking theorem of his wife's? We being useless as usual, criminal cases started pouring in various courts against this tongue twister. Within no time the lady found herself surrounded by at least 22 of those cases, few carrying non bailable warrants. 22 cases for this but none for the corrupt BDO who gulped down few crores of the NREGA money? After a prolonged Tutu-MainMain, running from pillar to post, the lady in question flying out of the country, the honourable supreme court yesterday squashed all 22 of those cases, putting a lid to this five year old controversy finally.

Why should we bother if Ms.Khushboo is OK to have a daughter-in-law who is not a virgin? But it seems we are as we end up filing 22 cases. This illogical reaction from us is what encouraging these individuals to come up with these gimmicks, which are sure to give some rude shock to many. Khushboo is just one of the examples, where in there are many who take advantage of our emotional foolishness. Out of no where this artist conceptualizes to paint our Goddesses nude. More disturbing is the alibi of 'Freedom of expression' bestowed by our constitution and few selective media houses terming this as perfectly fine as it is just an example of creativity. As being filing cases is one of our favorite national pass time, the cases poring in, this time only to cross the hundred mark with ease. Our reaction was so violent that the poor artist has to run out of the country and alleged to have taken up citizenship of some other country in Gulf. He was so nervous & fearful of our reaction that he never agreed to return back even after promises from our able central government of dropping all filed cases. Lets allow this century old man live peacefully and wish he someday conceptualizes to draw the Prophet in same light and then we would see what the populace of his new found motherland does to him. If he will even get enough time to run away from that country or not is to be seen.

Issues or no issues, we in general love in fights. Somehow without controversies we feel alienated. There are enough fruitful avenues to channelize our resources. Let all the Khusboos, Hussains, Shalman Rashdis, Tashlima Nasreens be happy with whatever they are doing as the point to be considered is that: Never fight with a pig, because you have to get into the mud and the pig loves it.

Cut Motion Or Loose Motion ?

Published on: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 // Congress, Corruption, Dirty Tricks, Politicians, Politics

I never had an idea on the existence of such an option in our constitution. It was only around 1946 that it was used for the first and last time, that too failing to bring it on the floor. So technically speaking this option was never exercised by our able oppositions in the 60 years history of our democracy. Not only my generation but the people of my father's generation were also caught with surprise when the 13 party non UPA front all of a sudden brought in not only one but two of these cut motions in one go. Only my grandfather showed some smile with an unspoken expression of 'Old Is Gold' philosophy for having knowledge on something which our generation of Google, Tweeter and Facebook didn't have.

When I first heard about it and the subsequent discussions on the whole thing in media, I thought, Boy oh Boy. My first real accountable knowledge. A watershed event in our post independence history, only to be disgusted seeing the horse trading gone behind the close doors. Is it a real phenomenal tool as suggested by one of the leading political critics or another scope for touts to accomplish some personal gain in a hurry?

To give a bit of background on this, it is a subset of no confidence motion. Some might say it may not be as aggressive as the super set but if any government fails to pass this then they stand no moral rites to continue in power. Moral rite? with our politicians? It seems the whole basics of this rule is non applicable on our current set of politicians at the first place. Leaving aside the non existent morality and who would do what, still the veracity of the rule is saviour, argued one.

The back breaking price rise of essential commodities and roll back of the recently increased petroleum and fertilizer prices did brought about this historical phenomena before the general populace, only comparable with seeing Hally's comet, that too in every 76 years. As usual no sooner the ball started rolling, crooks get onto their act of manipulation. Few to save their backs and few others to kick the opponent's back.

First to fall into the 'I scratch your back, you mine' theorem was none other than the lady with a purse: Shushri Mayawati. The stage was set for a nice little honeymoon period between UPA and BSP, when the CBI along with our solicitor general asked the supreme court to drop the case of disproportionate asset against Mayawati as they don't have any credible evidence to believe so. Goodness me! haven't the CBI sleuths seen the elephant zone park in Lucknow? Is the 1000 rupee garland saga too old to forget? The lady who was hellbent on intimidating the central government or congress in particular and seen snubbing congress general secretary as early as 14th of this month suddenly turned one angle and a strong believer of forget and forgive philosophy. She gave a reason of not entirely interested in allowing communal forces like BJP to comeback into power and hence would support UPA on this motion. For Gods sake can somebody educate this lady that the whole motion was related to price rise and it has got nothing to do with one being communal or secular. Being a true politician, she just can't admit the joy she got on the clean chit to her disproportionate asset, which is in fact out of proportion. So lets give her this liberty of being a little hypocritical.

Once a Yadav, always a Yadav, is the mantra of Lalu & Mulayam together. Ever non trustworthy as usual and masters in back stabbing. All those hall-gulla for last seven odd days by these two gave an impression as if they are dead serious in giving some much needed relief to the common man, in the process, doing something good for the first time in their life for a change. They thought to display their displeasure on the ruling coalation by walking out rather than voting for the motion. When quizzed, this neanderthal man from Bihar gave elaborations on how he is still the one caring for the common populace's misery and how he would have supported the move, only if BJP wasn't a party to this move. Again, please someone educated this perpetual bugger, that without BJP the whole move would have been a non starter, let alone getting 201 vote in favour of the move.

While all seems to have baked their cakes in the process, there is at least one casualty. One gentleman called Sibu Soren got hit badly at the wrong place during the scuffle & chaos of the cut motion. He might be the single fellow who has to suffer the loose motion due to this cut motion. The gentleman in the loo currently has done the mistake of voting for the UPA government while still having a coalation in Jharkhand with BJP. If his son Hemant Soren to be believed then his father's gimmicks are not necessarily an intentional one. Blame it on his father's short term memory loss problem which lead him to forget to which party he is currently associated with and end up pressing the wrong button, he added. Far from believing this the BJP thought of terminating their association with JMM and give Mr.Soren a very unholy farewell. BJP strongly believes the memory loss of Sibu Soren is just another classic case of under table (Horse trading) deal between Congress and JMM. The fate of the state of Jharkhand can only be known once Mr.Soren comes out of the loo.

The motion, irrespective of being cut or loose has more than just voting or few guys behaving strangely at the last moment. Whole of media was busy analyzing the misuse of CBI in this whole farce yesterday. This is what is much more serious than the motion itself. I strongly feel, there are institutions which should function over and above these political paradigms. CBI is one of such institutions for certainty. The fact that we had to discuss the chastity of such organizations at the first place is disturbing and reflects to which low we have stooped to for our personal gain and never diminishing power hungriness. Nothing much to write as it is just the beginning of the end.

Jokers Of India

Published on: // Humor, Jokers, Politicians, Story

Along with the steady rise of crooks, buffoons, thugs there is a parallel rise of another category of entities in equal amount, known as jokers or Dramewazs, in a north Indian way. Like inflation and number of terror strikes these jokers are increasing exponentially every year. These new brand of creatures are doing more harm to our nation than they actually look capable of on their face value. Most of the times this new variety of national threat goes un-noticed, as the injuries inflected by them are not sudden or of high magnitude but in a longer run they definitely administer irreparable damages. Hence I thought it would be best for the sake of National Interest to point out at least few top jokers of the country. For the first time I thought of refraining from name calling and stick to the job at hand allowing the readers to guess the person who fits best to the description.

You make a list of anything wrong in India and there you will always find a politician actively part of the list. So no surprises as I am starting with one such great soul.

Joker-1

Have you seen any leader of any country except India (Can even take Pakistan, Haiti, Uganda, Somalia for cross checking), who believes more on gimmicks than his caliber and cares the least for the people. I guess you might not find one who completely depends on his unwanted antiques to remain in power or so to say winning the election. Being born with a silver spoon and belonging to a family who are/were seasoned Dramewazs for last century or so is one thing but taking the Drama and Nautanki legacy across state borders and sometimes even international is hell of an achievement. No wonder when you get fed up after having 5-star food day-in and day-out, you tend to give your test buds a change. Hence you decide to brag upon a Dalit's house with
full Z+ security, having NSG commandoes surrounding you, allowing the onlooker to get the glimpses of your spectacles only. The trauma for the Dalit didn't end here. The joker decides to stay over night in the hut forcing the man of the house to sleep outside along with four of his kids in a single tarpaulin sheet. Next morning the vibrant leader with an inflated ego and misbelieve of accomplishing something which Mahatma Gandhi would loved to have in his resume decides to take a shower under the neighborhood tube well. Once done with the shower the leader decided to join the lady of the house in fields. The photograph doing the rounds of this leader while committing this very act of bravery needs no explanation. There are many such instances of bravery of this dynamic leader, where as this particular example I think announced to the world on the arrival of this joker.

Joker-2

This joker should write a book on how to make your movies a hit and how to remain in the thick of controversies, for your own benefit. And Ram Gopal Varma should purchase this book without any delay. The acting skills of this joker goes no beyond than stammering and he is better known for his association with individuals having a diversified sexual orientation and of course controversies. He is more often than not seen showering love towards a nation and it's populace without any specific reason. This unwanted love in fact had put his latest flop movie into jeopardy. Thanks to the proactive government for support that it somehow managed to get screened and flopped pathetically. But ask either this joker or his diversified sexual oriented director, they would rate this movie to fetch one or two Oscars for India. For the limited space any further elaboration of this joker is curtailed otherwise his nonsense would easily make anyone write a whole book.

Joker-3

For the first time in the history of jokerism a journalist stormed into the list. Best known for her pseudo secularism, repulsive aura that she carries and her soft corner towards Joker-2. You name any comedy of national magnitude, you will see her flaunting her ever poisonous smile. Her misadventure during 26/11, some say gave a handful amount of information to the handlers to guide their brigade properly. From nowhere, this joker is capable of bringing Joker-2 to discussion. A self proclaimed Mark Tully or Tim Sebastian she is. Her off late love towards Joker-4, is worth a mention.

Joker-4

Another new entrant to the list. This aged joker has still few cards to show. When it comes to disturbing a whole religion he does so openly with giving freedom of expression as a pretext. Freedom of Expression has a limit, which this joker artist should understand. No wonder when hardcore Hindu groups started gunning for his misdeeds he ran away to a foreign land. It is known that he has taken up the citizenship of a country where he feels he can best express his views via his paintings. For the sake of national security this joker should be extradited and should be given a lesson or two on not to rub his bottom with a porcupine.

Joker-5

This drama queen needs no introduction. With her antiques she can give Pamella Anderson a run for her money. Drama is her source of inspiration and existence it seems. Few months back she thought of getting married in a gala Swayambar. Poor chaps rushed in to the party, not sure why, only to end up seeing a series of drama. Finally when she choose a another joker (Not of national fame) to be her better half, all thought that's it. But this joker spring upon another drama when she said she is not going to get married to her new found joker buddy. God save India from these cartoons. Elder guys, who have affinity towards Tom & Jerry, Plz try her any TV appearance for once.

Joker-6

Ahh. The whole world is my enemy, if the world doesn't belong to my state or doesn't understand my language, is the mantra of this Joker. Issue for him starts from a road side vendor and stops there. Hang on, it actually stops at Taxies. Ironically this joker calls himself a leader. For this joker, name is all what matters. Mumbai is Mumbai, period. Any mistake on this regard, even unknowingly would invite his chelas to bash you black and blue. Commit a mistake according to his books, you are all alone on his peril. His tussle with Joker-1 was an watershed event according to Joker-3, where Joker-1 won hands down while all through surrounded by few dozen NSG and close to half a million policewalas.

Joker-7

First time a non living entity is in the list. Some how I hate statues. I have seen many such erections but haven't ever seen any statue of a lady carrying a purse. Have you? Somehow I hate statues. They first thing take up a huge lot of space and if the authorities sometime plan to remove them, it might led to rioting by the supporters of the individual statued. Cost incurred in maintaining them is also huge. The statues are more painful when they carry a purse along with it, believe me.

Well these are the top seven jokers for the Year 2009-2010. This list is not fix and we could see few more new entrants next year.

India : Democracy or Banana Republic ?

Published on: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 // Corruption, India, Losers, Politicians

Today a newspaper carried a very small news on the latest money spending of Ms. Mayawati on account of an advertisement more so to advertise her own party than anything else. To project the growth of the state UP (At the bottom on the growth ladder. Worse than Manipur & Mizoram), a full page advertisement was published in almost all dailies with her highness's photo at the top with an oxymoron just below her photograph: 'BSP: An Significant Step Towards Growth'. It took around 20 hours for the PR department of the government to distinguish between a vowel and a consonant and realized their mistake of putting 'an' instead of 'a' before the word 'significant'. Hence the whole advertisement was again published on all the newspapers with the correct grammar the next day. Let me not talk about the 5 crores extra that the UP government spend on this correction again, when the initial spend of an equal amount is questionable to begin with.

This unreasonable spending of public money on personal gains and the gross absence of accountability is what driving our country towards a banana republic on fast pace. Along with creatures like Mayawati, there are millions others in society who contribute handsomely on this path to glory. There is this Panchayat called Khaf panchayat, governed and run by the typical under or null educated loonies of Hariyana, who think themselves to be a notch higher than our supreme court or our constitution even. They believe the fundamental rites assigned by our constitution to individuals is a thing not be taken too seriously. They have their own set of rules to punish whom they consider are culprits. The poor couple who were sentenced to death by one such colony of buffoons, for getting married in the same gotra, learned this the hard way or the noose way. When Hariyana high court finally send few of these scoundrels to gallows for their mischievous act, the other clowns of the panchayat had the audacity to stage a massive rally against this decision and openly challenging the court's decision in the process making a mockery of our constitution. The Huda government in Hariyan is less than bothered for this reaction looking at the prospective vote bank these loonies and their community carry.

When it comes to cast based discrimination, no body can even imagine beating UP, much less beating them. Even the dogs around that state are categorised as Dalit or higher class. In one such occasion when a dalit dog kept on barking for sometime in night it ended up disturbing the sleep of few higher class dogs, oops individuals. As the canine was far from their reach to be punished the whole anger was zeroed in on the dalit owner of the dalit dog. Hence a bunch of these higher class thugs gheraoed the dalit hut and set it on fire, to show: a dalit dog should behave like one. The poor girl and her father were burned alive along with the hut leaving their dalit dog all alone to face the trauma.

Aren't these signs of a banana republic? Everyday the rites of a common citizen being crushed by someone or other at the position of power without thinking about the repercussions, as it is evident that there won't be any repercussion. Daughter of a minister do have the authority to pull out a fully booked plain from service and employ it in her own wish. What all the helpless ticket holders might have done, doesn't require any explanation. IPL seems larger than individual citizen's interest. Breaking the traffic rules is one thing but boasting upon your identity after that to the traffic cop with sentences like "Jaan ta hai main kaun hun, mera baap kaun hai?" is another height. Couldn't someone inform them that we are least interested to known them or their father or care least even if they themselves or their fathers play golf with the president of India over the weekends, as long as they are within the rules of the land. From minister's daughter to the local corporater's biker son all think the nation is their respective father's property. I am sorry to say it is actually not.

As V.S.Naipaul said once: These are the signs of a decaying society. I couldn't agree more on his definition of we as a society. We are decaying and decaying at an alarming speed. Guys who would struggle to define themselves alone are seen roaming around thumping their authorities which their fathers are bestowed with. Manu Sharma with the power of his money did managed to almost got away with his heinous crime by bribing the witnesses to turn hostile. Thanks to all those media coverage and those candle light vigils that prompted the case to be reopened and Manu Sharma sent to the place where he belongs by the supreme court. In the mid of all this his parole was alleged to be taken on priority as if he is a freedom fighter and only has to scrapped when he was found boozing in a pub somewhere in Delhi during his parole period. Ask the authorities about their generosity and promptness towards Manuji, you would get nothing as an answer.

Raj Thackrey is another classic case of social causality. His definition of a country and it's rules are vastly different from what the constitution has made us to believe over the years. While others just misused their power, this spoiled brat though to go a step further by going physical. Just like a road side goon his beliefs doesn't go beyond all those Maar-Peet. Surprisingly he calls himself a leader and face of the masses. At least three dozen cases pending against him in various courts and police stations, but this chap is ever defiant as he is always, just because he has got immense faith on our judiciary that no justice would be delivered.

Writing all our abilities to make ourselves a banana republic would need few tons of paper and might be needing more at the end of it. You search for one, you would come across millions of examples. Starting from the big fish in some ministry to the Sarpanch, all are corrupt to the core. Last thing expected from these jokers is some sense of national feeling. All they are interested is how to make some quick black money on any opportunity the all mighty provides. Doesn't matter if it is as small as building few tube wells for the generation thirsty populace or settling the thousands affected from Tsunami. Only the hope in our holy books and faith on the 'Yada Yada Hi Dharmasya' thing that gives us a feeling that it is about time lord Krishna incarnated in some avatar will get down and set the equation straight or else none can save us from becoming the world's largest banana republic very soon. God save our grand children.

The New Word Called Social Networking!

Published on: Monday, April 26, 2010 // Humor, Public Interest, Social Networking

What is this social networking all about? All networking inherently supposed to be social as I never heard of anything called anti-social networking reserved for guys like Dawood, Osama, Hafeez Saeed etc to mingle with each other over cyber space and chit chat about what they had for lunch, where they are planning to have the next bomb blast and all. Looking at the number of these jehadis available at present and their phenomenal growth rate, it could be a brilliant business idea to have one anti-social networking site dedicated to all these nefarious elements.

Jokes apart, I never had till date came to terms with all these networking sites and their USPs of bridging the distance barrier over continents through technology. The whole idea of being in touch with someone few thousand miles apart when he or she is sleeping and the other person getting in touch with you when you are fast asleep doesn't just fit in.

Off late all these Orkut, Facebook and other in this category are becoming a kind of status symbol. Not having an account in either of these is a heinous of crimes and you are bound to be leveled as old fashioned and living in the Kautalya era. Not having a social account is as shameful as not clearing your school term exams, if not more. Guys now do have one or many such accounts long before even they get into High school. Many of these so called social networkers, barely in their teens might not be aware of, who is our prime minister but are capable of writing a whole case study on these networking sites.

Being in their early teens and not matured enough to know the implications, all these networking sites often become a source of misery for them. Increasing trend of these so called cyber crimes involving teenage entities definitely is a yardstick to judge how wrongly the whole word 'social' is being misinterpreted. I was not at all surprised someday back when I went through a news of a 15 year old girl being raped by her one of the many never seen social friends and his accomplice on her first blind date. When investigated, it was found the teenager used to spend 6-7 hours on daily basis over these social networking sites. The culprits are more disturbingly another bunch of young social stuff lover in their late teens. How on earth the parents of the little girl allowed her to spend most of her study timings on net? Whom to blame? The girl, the culprits or those technological brains somewhere in silicon valley who have developed these social tools?

Impersonating over these sites is a regular phenomena. Guys putting up false profiles of their friends who suddenly turned foes with all possible objectionable images and citing them of engaged in all available unholy activities. The infamous case in Noida, where a girl has to commit suicide because of having one such obnoxious profile dedicated to her by one of her ex-boyfriends. Would you believe, she was all of 14 only. If one top cop of Delhi Police to be believed then anti-socials have started using these social networking sites for prostitution as well as drugs peddling. If I am not wrong either the prostitution or the drugs thing are anywhere close to be termed as being social.

The solutions to the mayhem is far fetched as keeping a tap on who is doing what and where is next to impossible on a virtual world like Internet. But on second thought, can't these social networking sites operate just like the mobile service provider function? You can open up as many profiles as possible, but they would only be active once proper whereabouts documents are furnished. Age could be one of the many criteria to have your profile up there. Many would say the companies running these sites might not appreciate these ideas but so was the case, all mobile service providers cried foul when TRAI initially imposed these Identity proof thing for mobile telephony. End of the day the rule was imposed ruthlessly looking at the national security and the service providers are advised, either to take it or leave the business. If not for the national security but for the national interest can't these rules be imposed against these networking sites? with dotted line : "Either take it or leave it".

Now-a-days whenever I see teens around malls and market places I over hear them gossiping about how much they have scraped the day before. Who are all send them friends invitation, how many scraps they received or bitching about any common friend they have. The founding fathers of Internet might not fancy their invention being used solely for this purpose, worse so for bitching. I am never a strong believer of this social thing over net. There are few gaps which best be left as it is. Bridge is definitely not possible to fill in all possible gaps. Hang on, I am not against knowing someone. But there is a difference between just knowing someone and befriending a complete stranger to an extent of going out for a blind date. More than the boys I have noticed girls taking these social accounts more as a status symbol and medium of bitching and of course the ever existent show off angle to it.

As long as some concrete steps are not taken these Noida episodes are going to hunt back us again and again. Age criteria should be implemented at the earliest. I do feel there is a certain age threshold before you could or should decide how social you want to be. As the government have decided a minimum age of getting married and so as casting your vote, to be social should have a tap. Let the world call us anti-social, but as long as our future generation is secured we should be happy being so called anti-social and be done away with it. Give it a thought.

The Funny Game Called Cricket

Published on: Friday, April 23, 2010 // Cricket, Humor, Story

You might have heard this phrase from thousands of cricket commentators for million of times. Commentators, those who have played cricket at the highest level and lesser mortals like me who have hold the bat not more that 3-4 times in their life would also agree to this saying of cricket being funny when it comes to the nature of the game and the outcome of it also. Hang on, to me the fun or the funniness doesn't necessarily stops there. For me the outcome was never funny. It goes much beyond just the outcome of the game. Bangladesh thrashing West indies out of nowhere, is definitely not funny. Ask any fan from the Caribbeans.

For me the whole game along with the notorious jargon were always funny, much more than the outcome. Cricket is the only game I feel which has got the logic flying out of the window when it comes to naming convention. Few say Newton might have committed suicide after seeing the whole funda of logic getting screwed up big time by these cricket walas.

To begin with, the guy seen behind the stumps with the kid's size pads and those gloves having a striking similarity with the palms of a Siberian Crain and yelling Sabas-Sabas at the drop of a hat is known as the wicket keeper. But the poor chap is seen breaking those wickets every now and then without any reason, for which he was employed as a keeper at the first place. Wicket breaker would have been a better name, I feel. And why those 2-3 useless chaps seen standing alongside the keeper are called sleeps? Does that position designated for anyone who wants to take a quick power nap during the course of the game? It's Slips you fool, informed someone. Ohh is it? What they are supposed to slip there? Aren't they are positioned to gulp down everything that's comes their way rather than slipping? No wonder our slip fielders have taken the word too laterally.

In cricket you won't find a 1st man or 2nd man but you will always find a third man. Where are the other two? As if Cover, Short Cover, Square Cover, Sweeper Cover are not enough you would always find an Extra Cover. The covers increases few folds when guys like Sachin is at the crease, who is famous for his trademark cover drive. Left-hand drive, right-hand drive but cover drive? is it something like covering yourself with one of those Sherlock Homes look alike rain coats while driving? Isn't it strange to see a guy like Jontey Rhodes covering 10 meters on both sides of his but end up having a name for his position as Point. Just a point? Guys up there need to go through the high school geometry books again. You can't call something with 10 meters radius as a point.

Short leg has two variants. Both forward and backward (under privileged like backward classes). Initially I had an impression that the height of those who stand near the batsman with the crash helmet has got something to do with their name: 'forward short leg'. You ought to have a pair of very short legs or in simple understandable words, you need to be a Nata to occupy that position. The backward short leg guy has more or less the same qualifying criteria but only thing missing is the crash helmet and he must be from OBC or SC & ST. Point has a backward variety. I wonder what that guy is supposed to do when you have point as big as a 10 meter radius circle like Jhonty. The only fielding position that carry some sense is Silly Point. What else you would call a guy who has the audacity to stand as close as just 3 meters from a beast like Mathew Hayden. You definitely need to be a silly to exercise that adventure.

Not only the namings but the actions are quite confusing as well. The chaps known as Umpires are supposed to be the boss out there but generally end up being one mobile wall hanger each. These guys are the most active among the lot present in the park. Along with officiating they get engaged with all the physical exercise as shown in some fitness programmes early morning. For sometime I had an impression that wide is actually a double No ball. With the introduction of new variations like free hit, power plays and time out, the signals are becoming ever confusing and guys like Billy Bowden are not helping the cause either. Signaling a four looks same as Mithun Chakaroverty or Rajnikant slapping few rowdies some thousand times per minute in a single go. Signaling a six as if you trying to make two huge holes up there in the heaven for the rain water to pour down. Still couldn't comprehend that Nataraj pose to sign a leg bye. I initially felt pity on the umpire for getting hit and limping in the process.

Authorities are making the game more funnier of late. One certain Lalit Modi along with another Sashi Tharoor increased the fun few folds. Nobody knows what could be the next move and outcome with almost half of the world involved in the latest scam hitting this funny game. Much same like all those Jehadi groups. Al-Quida one day and LET or JUD the other day. Nobody knows what they would be one tomorrow, not even their mothers. Fun or no fun, this funny game has made millions glued to the TV set, road side play grounds, community parks. You just need few guys playing this game with some seriousness and there goes few chaps standing on the so called boundary lines watching it. Doesn't necessarily need one Yuvraj Sing always to bring in the crowds. Down the street Kaluram is not a bad batsman when it comes to hitting few sixes. We just need some serious cricket at any level to generate a funny outcome.

Nice Spectrum To Admire

Published on: // Corruption, Humor, Public Interest

A.Raja did confirmed that the government is going to be richer by some 45,000 crore by these latest spectrum auctions of 3G spectrum. 3G? What is that? I have heard of KG (two variants), Yeh G, Ohh G, Loo G and even Suno G, but never this 3G, that too with one spectrum tucked away behind it. Might be one dedicated exclusively to all those ladies, so that they can be spared form using one G or the other in every sentence they utter for their helpless husbands. The trick is just use this 3G and the technology would take care of all the possible Gs. Thanks to A.Raja, I must say, a lot of burden is going to be taken off from all the women allowing them more time to make Ekta Kapoor one legend in double quick time.

Don't be so foolish. It is not the G type you mentioned and more so it has got no exclusive audience like women. It is something to do with mobile telephony, told my wife. Ohh is it? But why 3G? Are we done consuming 1G and 2G and possibly 0G already? No wonder experts say we would have more mobiles than the number of people in Indian within next decade and half. But still I had never heard of 1G or 2G auctions ever. Or are these the same auctions where Mr.Raja allegedly said to have gulped down few thousand corers, this time around making himself more richer than the government? In any whichever way this 3G is going to make mobile telephony more mobile, as per the experts again.

Mobiles getting more mobile? How is that going to be? Something like mobiles walking down themselves to their owners on the arrival of an incoming call or new message and tickle their owners to press the receive button? Must be damn time saving and a blessing for guys like me who always forget where they have kept their cell phones last. Is this 3G going to make the mobiles give us a head massage or Champi when we are back from office, clip our nails and give a trim to our nostrils, wax our ears also? No, it is not going to do the nostril, informed the mobile vendor. Might be reserved for 4G or 5G.

Earlier phones were used in cases where it is deemed as more than emergency. Due to the amount you had pay in order to use one such fancy item, the duration were in seconds. More like those coded crisp messages passed across continents during the World war-II time or the Bahus seen tarnishing their respective Sans in their own coded short sentences. Making outstation calls were rarity, same as seeing one falling meteoroid on odd evenings. None bothered to call till someone of the family did manage to break a couple of bones of theirs or somebody getting admitted to hospitals or somebody needs to be picked up from the station. Phones used to ring at that time unlike nowadays which prefer to sing all the latest bollywood hits, Gazals and even Gayatri Mantra.

Even the earlier days (Perhaps the 1G or 0G period, when cell phones were strikingly similar to cordless phones, used both as a phone and a weapon of attack for all those miscreants) of this mobile thing wasn't funny at all. I still remember paying the same amount of 6 rupee 30 paisa per minute, both for incoming and out going as well. We friends used to give each other miss calls to show that we are alive and have a virtual feeling of being in touch. In one such incident when one of my friend crashed his bike with a stray bull ending up braking both his thumbs and half of his moustaches ripped off, I did cancelled three of his SOS calls, thinking it as one of our feel good factor being in touch type calls.

Now the mobiles being armed with all these SMS, MMS and other MS not quite known to me are creating havoc at large. SMS has improved itself to a level where it has created a language of it's known. The word 'Great' is no more great but one GR8 and you is being promptly replaced by U. If time permits one can write a whole dictionary on this repulsive new lingo. Oxford, et all, be prepared, UR (your) DYS (days) R (are) NMBRD (numbered).

During my grand children's time when there would be one auction for some 11G conducted by some B. Rani, just like the Ocean's series, things would be quite different than this time around. First thing, there won't be any dumb like me fail to understand the G or for that matter 11 and the subsiquent features associated with it. The Champi, Nostril, Waxing or Cliping of nails won't be a issue as it is supposed to be accomplised in 4 or 5 G itself.

Anti-Earth Day

Published on: // Earth, Humor, Public Interest, Story

Last time I counted, it was a staggering 142 of the 365 days of a year that I found dedicated to one cause or the other. 'Cause' could be too serious a word to use, so let me better stick to the word 'Reason' rather, since the last thing I want in my blogs is some seriousness. As the number of days of a year couldn't be stretch much beyond the stipulated 365 days and dedicating a whole day for comparatively smaller reasons might not be always a fancy thing the brilliant minds started consuming or dedicating hours instead. Hence came all those hours: Earth Hour, Village Hour, Universe Hour, Sauchalaya Hour, Pet Hour, Tweet Hour, Tharoor Hour, much same like the municipality water supply hours, which all those Chawl wallas are familiar with. Call of the hour is to get ready with all your empty buckets to fill as much liquid as you can to survive for the day.

Why only 142? Why not the whole of 365? Are we running short of causes or reasons to fit in those absent days? Or is it that guys don't want patrons to be disturbed on their off days and hence the weekends and official holidays are spared?

I have got mixed experience with all those hours or days. The very first disjoint that strikes me always is the whole semantics behind all these dedications. Are we suggesting that we care and love our Planet on the day or hour dedicated and rest of the time we care rat balls for her? Or as if all hell going to break lose except on the infamous February 14th to show love to your beloved? The second thing that strikes me is the idea of organizing various functions to celebrate these holy days or hours. No I am not talking about the type of functions organized by Sriram Sene on every Feb-14th to thrash few hapless couples. Thrashing might be their way of celebrating but not mine definitely.

I wasn't surprised when my wife once asked me to accompany her to attend a fashion show which was organized to celebrate the mother's day or something. Fashion show? What's they are going to show? Fashion? I have heard of Baby shows, Pet shows but Fashion? You also carry some sense of fashion, as claimed by you. Why don't you show me one or two of your fashions and stay indoor. I suggested. Without earring much my wife virtually dragged me out of the house to the parking lot.

After few handshakes, all those affectionate hugs and high fives the show did started finally. What the heck. Do you call this fashion? Few cardboard shaped girls clad in some outer wear and walking muck like spring driven toys? I whispered in my wife's ears. Am I supposed to do something?, I asked, as I saw few others cheering and waving. As Ganwar as being I am, I was about to take out a five rupee coin and pop it on the so called ramp, much like the old days Maharajs used to do during a Mujra. Don't be silly you. It is a Fashion show not a Mujra, informed my wife. Honestly till date the relation of this fashion show with mothers day is not clear to me.

After the phenomenal success of Earth Hour the organizers came up with the Earth Day concept which was celebrated someday back. Even if the city where I live was not participating as per the official list during the earth hour, still we guys did contributed handsomely to the cause, as our vigilant electricity department made sure to administer a load shedding during that hour where we were supposed to switch off our not so required electrical equipments. Instead of giving individuals the pain of remembering the exact time and the effort to get up from their sofas and switch off stuffs, the department thought of contributing themselves. Much same as the TDS the companies do. Weather you like it or not, support it or not you have to contribute to Pranob Da.

Effect Of Recession

Published on: Wednesday, April 21, 2010 // Humor, Recession, Story

Some would say, 'Effects' would have been a better word than singular 'Effect'. It is just that I don't want to scare the hell out of you and make you revisit the horror which has passed by, somehow, barely a year ago. Hence the singular form of horror.

All those new found beggars at Times square with an equivalent amount, if not more at our own Dalal Street and possibly in all those squares and streets across the globe. Job consultants working overtime and renting godowns to stuff the truck loads of resumes send across to their mail box from the millions who lost their livelihood. Suddenly guys finding 'go green' theme a brilliant idea and start commuting via public transport, giving their cars a much needed break. Few going to the extent of appreciating Mahatma Gandhi on the philosophy of simple living by adhering to only Daal & Chawal, giving their favorite Sabzi a miss. Nagging wives not nagging any more for the diamond jewellery promised to them on their honeymoon. Sudden decrease of pick pocketing in railway stations and bus stops. In nutshell the whole demand-supply chain was seized up with selective constipation. These are few of the trillions of causalities: thanks to recession.

The latest being the most severe of them all. What all the nefarious anti socials, goons, thugs couldn't managed to do even after putting their best of efforts for last three decades, the recession managed to accomplish it, within a year. The production of the 23rd 007 Bond movie has been deferred indefinitely as the producer was promptly pick pocketed by the thief called recession. Now all the goons are breathing easy while the killer agent has been advised to cool his heels wherever he feels like cooling it. Keep it in mind, his masters are not going to sponsor his operation cooling heel at all. Pierce Bronsnon must be considering himself lucky to resign from the post at the nick of time and spared from seeing these unholy hours.

Everything during this period has gone down. I am not sure but I won't be surprised at all if somebody says even the number of child births has made a nose dive. Now you can understand what I meant when I said everything has gone down. Only thing that has shown some upward trend is the prices of essential commodities. How is that possible? Is the little economics that I was taught during my first couple of semesters while doing my engineering is wrong? Where is that boring Demand-Supply theorem gone?, which says: 'Demand is proportional to supply & Demand valuates the price'. With all those demands going down, how in earth the prices kept on growing in the process torturing us more on the account of seeing the sorry face of Sarad Pawar on daily basis? Someone must be wrong somewhere. As there is little doubt on the age old theorem going wrong, it leaves the crooks and thugs in our Agriculture ministry as prospective culprits.

But what is this recession all about? How come one fine day the whole world sees the taps of economy drying up? With all those heavy jargon's, mostly written in pre-harappan literature and much more disturbing definition and explanation, the economics professor made me more confused with his answers than I were to begin with. Then and there I decided to stop my endeavour in understanding it and just take it as a one big, impressive word, only to be used in group discussions among friends to project myself as an intellectual rabid mongrel of highest degree.

Few say the recession has gone. But where that idiotic thing gone? Hang on. from where it has came at the first place? Which country this entity belongs to? Few would say the answer to the third one could be the USA. Is it? Is it something like having a tap somewhere in Washington and out of curiosity some mischievous kid turned the tap off to have some fun and allowing crooks all over the world to manipulate economics, just like our Agriculture ministry did or doing? Holly earth. This can't be so simple. For we lesser mrotals, let the recession be one recession only. Lets not disect or do our own autospy armed with the least of knowledge.

All the thank God impressions are back with few beggars getting richer gradually. Job consultants screening the tucked away resumes in various godowns. Wives started nagging for the diamond jewellery again. Pick pocketing back to their best. Guys back behind the wheels their fuel guzzling SUVs. Mahatma Gandhi shown the back door. Kids demanding for a fabulous summer vacation. Credit card touts back again with their tele calls. Girlfriends demanding a notch better than just those Cafe Coffee Day outlets. Bollywood again producing intolerable movies in hundreds. Society security guard........ Ohh God, Plz bring back the Recession again ! :-(

Circus In The Cricket Field

Published on: Tuesday, April 20, 2010 // Corruption, Cricket, Humor, Public Interest

Hold on to your thoughts. Jammu circus hasn't taken any cricket stadium spared from this years IPL on rent or lease to put up their tents and start their regular shows. The grounds are still ready and available for the Tendulkars, the Pontings to show their master class. It is just that few guys thought of adding more spice and fun (Other than the cheergirls) to the game by their own piece of jingoism, eventually making the game of cricket a huge circus, no less entertaining than Jammu circus itself.

Though there was never a shortage of comedy in cricket to begin with but this time around the comedy took an ugly turn towards tragedy exposing few individuals, guys getting kicked out, few fellows refraining from their million per day tweets, exposing Cricket-Politician-Businessman-Cheergirls nexus. As few would suggest, we could possibly squeeze in Dawood somewhere in that chain. At least two serving ministers, Prime Minister, UPA chairperson and whole of opposition getting involved actively into it. A huge team (much more than the standard 11) that's playing the latest game. While everyone guarding their wickets with their lives, it is only surprise to see one Mr.Sashi Tharoor unfortunately getting run out too soon and another Mr.Lalit Modi in the verge of getting retired hurt. Bad beginning to the innings. God only knows how and with how many members this innings going to end.

Where there is money, there are politicians. The equation couldn't been more simpler than this. So IPL is no exception. As a matter of fact starting from BCCI to majority of state cricket boards, we have one or the other politician at the helm of affairs. How Modi-Tharoor, the best of buddies or so as shown in various photographs with all those shaking of hands, affectionate hugs (Jhappi in North Indian style), all those high fives, have suddenly become the best of foes? Tweeting against each other threatening to sue each other, God knows for what.

The tweet of Modi many say have done more harm to IPL-Himself-BCCI than anyone else, as it exposed the skeletons in the closet of all those office bearers of cricket. Tharoor could term himself a scapegoat in the process, and we should at least give him that liberty. It is a loss-loss situation for all who are either directly or indirectly associated with IPL. The only beneficiaries are clowns like me who have serious problems with their English vocabulary to find few new words like: Sweet Deal, Slush Funds, Proxy franchise and Sunanda Pushkar. The last vocabulary came out of the woodwork from nowhere and spanked Modi & Tharoor on their respective backs till it gets red.

As it is evident that it's about time Modi gets retired hurt, many would argue why this guy only have to take his pads off? Is he whole & sole of the IPL affairs? If so then what's the utility of a so called IPL governing body, where Mr. Faruk Abdullah is a member? It is hard to believe that the government or the governing council including the top brass of BCCI were never aware of these financial irregularities as claimed by I-T department and echoed by the media. Modi actually deserves some accolade for his mischievous tweet, which exposed such a huge nefarious activity going behind the closed doors. The fact of the matter is all were enjoying the new found vocabulary : Slush Fund and now are saving their own backs when the shit hit the fan. To their benefit they could never get any better scapegoats than Modi or Tharoor to scarify and clean their sins.

Along with Modi, the investigation should be done on all and everyone who are part of this whole IPL thing. Just speculating the injection of black money from tax heaven countries, projecting yourselves as saints and hurling bouncers aiming at the boxes of Modi and Tharoor, not going to help much. Or else touts would go out clean leaving behind guys like Modi & Tharoor licking their wounds and tweeting.

If you ask me of my feeling on this whole controversy, then well, I would say 'Better Late Than Never' but having said that I would appreciate these investigations doesn't become another eyewash as is the general case in India and culprits should be punished for playing with our emotions and the game we love and adore so much.

Sab Chadhenge Car

Published on: Monday, April 19, 2010 // Humor, India, Public Interest, Story

The idea is fascinating and laudable. Big blows to all those Amway touts of their false and lucrative propaganda, who boast the benefit of the chain marketing by having a car (do you read: a car) , to ride in just matter of few days, if not hours of efforts. Thanks to Ratan Tata. That's how we used to associate a car as a big status coup and achievement of sort to have one in your garage, not long back.

Mr.Tata after seeing a small family getting drenched due to seasonal rain and realizing the culprit of this is the non-availability of a car or rather non-affordability of one, decided to build one such stuff which would be affordable to the common mass and precisely to all those who gets drenched day-in and day-out. Hence he rushed back to his office and get hold off all his able designers and within days announced the world of manufacturing a car that would cost no more than 1 Lakh, pop, including everything. Everyone was happy of the news: a part for the revolutionary idea and a part for being able to have one so called car in future of their own.

As being a gentleman and far from lacking the quality of a politician of promising and forgetting, Mr.Tata did started giving his vision some realty. Hence the small car Nano started to take some shape. But as every gentleman does, he did a mistake when he decided to have the plant for this baby at Singur, in West Bengal. Thanks to all those politicians of Left and Trinamool, who left no stones unturned in making the state a Waste Bengla get to the act with their tricks which they are pioneer at. So usual Hartal & Dharna followed leaving Mr.Tata frustrated and searching for some other options. Who lost more? The Nano or the chaps of Singur and West Bengal at large? NaMo promptly seized the opportunity and as per him invested only Rs1/- in messaging Mr.Tata about the availability of few acers of land in Gujurat for the plant.

After a prolonged wait the Nano did hit the road and buyers (All those drenched) lining up for the booking. Few lucky ones who did managed to get the booking through and no sooner found the little beast in their garage or make shift garage. I even thought of getting my hands on one of those babies, but somehow couldn't managed to get my booking through. If somebody asks me how I feel about my failure in getting the booking done then the answer would be: I am happy, if not ecstatic. Happy not because I somehow saved 1 Lakh, but because I din't have to see 1 Lakh of my hard earned money getting gutted in the middle of the road.

I know one certain Mr.Chawla, who used to get drenched every now-and-then but off late never. Thanks to Nano and Mr.Tata. The Chawla family was happy as hell with their latest asset. Roaming around Delhi with their new found baby, all those Golgappes, Karim's Tandoori Chickens, Famous Chandni Chowk Kulfi. All in one making the small car a mobile restaurant, and keep it in mind without getting drenched ever. All was well till one day while having the Tikha Golgappa, somewhere in East Delhi. All those rushing fire brigade vans didn't make much worry for the Chawla family, as a fire or two on weekly basis was quite common in the market place. Thanks to Sarkar for banning smoking at public places. These fire station guys can breath a little easy. Still with the taste of the Pudina on their lips when the Chawalas gathered at the parking lot, only to find all those red vans were actually rushing for their rescue. Where the heck is our baby? All left is a heap of burning mass along with the small Tweety they have fondly hanged on the rear view mirror.

Chawlas are not the only one to be at the receiving end of some technical mistake of the car. One such drenched guy in Surat had to go through the same ordeal, only too early. No sooner after getting out of the showroom, as per rituals he stopped by a Mandir to do the Puja. While he was negotiating the price of the Nariyal, he saw two of his friends who were still sited on the car running for their lives. Gee, his new car is on flames and the near by Dhokla wala is also running for his life. Miffed by the torture to Chawlas and that unknown Indian of Surat, Tatas are revisiting their design all over again. Few insiders claim if this fire has to stop then the car cost might go a bit up. This is what I meant, when I said I was happy not to see 1 lakh of mine getting gutted in the middle of the road.

Fire or No fire, I still believe the whole idea is a revolutionary one. As somebody famously said, Ideas, don't die or you can't burn the ideas, coz Ideas are bulletproof as well as fire proof. Hopefully the Tatas are working on the flaw and I would wait for sometime to see if any more of these babies getting burned on the middle of the road before I try my luck on the booking counter again.

Where We Stand?

Published on: Friday, April 16, 2010 // Corruption, India, Losers, Nepotism, Politics, Public Interest

If somebody seriously asks me, where we as a nation stand in world map in terms of Growth, Economy, Democracy, Technology, National security, Moral ethics and above all exercising or allowed to exercise our fundamental rights, then I would be as confused as a baby in a topless bar, leave alone answering it with some authority. Many (Excluding our Politicians) would have the same fate in answering this tricky question, if not the topless part but for certain would stammer in answering it with some conviction.

Boasting a lot on our economic growth and touting we as one of the fastest growing in the world on this aspect, giving China a scare or two and Pakistan some envious shocks and coining terms like Indian Inc, where these Reliance, Tatas, Birlas and few IT companies are constituent, seems is our off late national pass time. Let me first congratulate myself and all other fellow Indians before I could proceed with the blog. We all deserve one rupee Gulab Jamun each and our able Mantris & Babus two each, and our Sarkar a pat on the back, for this phenomenal achievement.

Growth is relative. As one of my friend said the other day : 'Pehle aap khali Chaddi main the aab Baniyan milgaya. Ho geya growth 100%'. Hope our so called economists are not following my friend's theorem. I hope but I am sure they are actually as Montek Sing Ahluwalia expect more than 2 laks new families to get included in the latest BPL list. Great! 2 laks new found beggars, and worse enough to be notified and we still claim we are growing like hell. Must be my friend's brilliance that helped these guys conclude so. At least we got hold of a Baniyan and now our upper part is not Nanga. So we are growing. Taliyaan!!

A famous SMS doing rounds in Pakistan, which urges all those who are Biriyani lovers to cross over to India with a Kalashnikov or even a toy gun would do. This is where we stand in terms of security. It is irony on the face of all those who lost their lives during 26/11 and all those who fought for us to see the most secured person in whole of Mumbai now is Ajmal Amir Qasav. Many countries including notorious one of the likes of Zimbabwe are issuing security warnings to their citizens while visiting India. Rather than concentrating on this and making efforts to improve our internal security, we are busy distributing dossiers to a country which is hell bent on not accepting their own mess. None feels safer any more. The last of the examples could be the crude bomb blast in Chinnaswamy stadium. More than casualty and volume of the explosion, it is the very fact that an explosion did occur disturbs many. How in earth somebody could come in and plant a bomb in the vicinity where more than fifty thousand people are expected to gather. How crude the nature of the bomb is immaterial. More threatening is the 2000 odd numbers of Jehadis waiting on the border to squeeze in, to introduce more havoc is again more threatening.

Latest inclusion of education as a fundamental right is very refreshing. But hang-on. Shouldn't it be the case to begin with? What made us wait more than 60 years to implement it? More than forming rules, it is the enforcement that matters. Don't expect guys like Qasav to get down at Okha on their journey to Mumbai to get hold of an Indian Penal code to see how heinous crime they are going to commit. If statics are considered there are more than 2 million cases of school dropouts every year, maximum of which are girls. Least talked about the ever diminishing gender ratio is better. Just by making education as a fundamental right doesn't solves the whole problem as for decades we have seen other fundamental rights are being sabotaged with ease. Don't believe, they try to exercise your Right to Speak fundamental stuff against your local politician or Gunda who is hand-in-glove with the mantriji. Either you would be wiped out or if you manage to live they you would be left ruining on your decision of showing faith on our constitution. Satyandra Dube can't be a bad example on this. I can see the fate of the latest fundamental thing and millions getting stuffed somewhere in Switzerland.

Moral ethics has long been out of the dictionaries of all those who matter. One thief catching another with his pants down. The poor one being half naked waits for the headmaster to decide on weather he is actually nude or not. Gone are those days when guys like Shastriji, Krishna Menon took moral responsibilities for events where they are remotely being involved or responsible. Now entities like Lalu need more than a thousand cases of various nature to find themselves guilty. The whole funda of our jurisdiction: 'Innocent until proven guilty', should be changed, at least for all these politicians. The moment one found involved (doesn't matter, how much or how far), should be bitten black and blue. Period. Then some sanity would prevail. No wonder due to lack of conviction or otherwise these notorious creatures are flourishing everywhere.

Coming back to the question where I started this blog. We stand nowhere. We are as badly managed and operated as we were some 10-15 years back. We are as nonsense we were that time only to see more nonsense in the form of Mayawati, Raj Thackrey getting in. Crooks running the government bringing in shame to the nation on daily basis, making us a worldwide laughing stock. Comedy is going on everywhere, let it be my office cafeteria to Loksabha. We are as filthy as it can get when it comes to loyal and committed towards our country. Thanks to few individuals of the likes of Sandeep Unikrishnan or Tokaram Ombule, that we are still surviving as a nation, or else we would have done the disappearing act long back.

Being Cynical�

Calling a spade, a spade