Three Years Failure Of UPA-II

United Progressive Alliance completed three years today and to be honest I can’t wait either for next two years to complete as quickly as possible or the alliance blast themselves up in between to protect their individual greed. I am sure there would be lot many others who would be carrying the same notion that of mine or perhaps may be a violent version of my notion.

While one might get surprised in this sudden mood change among a large section of the society towards a party whom they voted for with a mandate of more than two hundred Loksabha seats, it is the Congress and its allies who should only blame themselves for squandering such a decisive mandate they got during 2009 general elections. In a collective highhandedness the premiere party and its allies took the mandate for granted and started behaving erratically towards the same people who have voted them to power. Nonchalant attitude towards issues of grave concern which affect the citizens directly is another of the reasons why people have started disparaging themselves for choosing such a government to start with. The progress report of UPA-II has got absolutely nothing credible to take back home. Year after year the governance has gone weaker and weaker so much so that we now in a position where we find ourselves amidst complete policy paralysis. While there is listless evidence for this nosedive decline of UPA’s popularity as an alliance, there are certainly few items which the UPA-II should have taken on priority but never did that for reasons best known to the biggies of the alliance.

Tackling Terrorism: This is an issue where the present government failed squarely. Whether the failure is due to the lack of avenues or by design is still debatable, people at large have left with a very bad taste after looking at the complete non-action of the installed government again and again in the matter of terrorism and terrorists. The standard lines orated by the top brass of Congress every time there is a terrorist activity have annoyed people more than helping the cause of Congress. When the lines like ‘Culprits won’t be spared’ or the famous line which even is at the top of my personal hate list ‘All options are open’, used to pacify the anger among the populace a few years back are now looking as effective as that poor security guard’s objection towards an arrogant Shahrukh Khan. People are pissed off with the repeated false promise of ‘No one will be spared’ since they don’t see none being brought to book for any of the terrorist activities of last decade. Those few who are apprehended are enjoying their stay in various jails on tax payer’s expense. While our Apex court has long delivered their verdict to hang the Parliament attack mastermind Afzal Guru, the UPA government (both I and II) have conveniently sleeping over it for last 8 years on the pretext of some mercy petition. To protect their votebank Congress looked expediently the other way from the general perception and a President who otherwise is useless allowed to holiday around the globe but didn’t had enough time at her disposal to look at the mercy petitions lying on her table. A certain Ajmal Kasav who was involved in killing around 200 innocents and was apprehended from the scene of crime is yet to be acted upon. A person who declared a war against the state is enjoying our warm hospitality inside a 6 crore cell while the kith and kins of the victims are running from pillar to post for justice. If that was not enough we are honoring the taste buds of the scoundrel by providing him with the choice of his Biriyani. When we have kids begging on the street we quite unceremoniously are spending close to 20 crores for the wellbeing of this rascal. It is about to be three years since that unfortunate incident and we have to yet even put a scratch on Kasav’s body and quite literally at that.

Tackling Corruption: Now after 3 years it looks like as if all the corrupt and thugs of the world had joined hands to form this government. That said, we all know how our politics was never free of corruption ever but there is a catch when it comes to UPA-II. While earlier corruption cases or so called scams were coming to public domain with a substantial gap in between them now they are getting unearthed on daily basis. Every week we get to hear about a new scam surpassing the loot amount of the earlier one; every week we are seeing bigger rascals getting unearthed who make look the earlier buffoons angles in comparison. While earlier the scams were limited to thousands now the smallest of the loot easily crossing a lakh of crore at least. Scary among all this loot is the deep involvement of Congress and their allies’ politicians. Out of nowhere A. Raja gulped down an amount which was never heard of till date. In a mission to fill his own and his party coffers he injected a loss to the nation in the tune of one lakh seventy thousand crores. He along with his cronies and the bosses who always remain behind the curtains to protect their spotless image looted the nation with both hands. A certain stalwart of Congress called Suresh Kalmadi made a lot of money in the name of CWG. While the idea of building a sporting culture remained a distance dream, Kalmadi and his stooges looted vehemently so much so that the loot spread across few continents. Rs 4000/- per toilet roll is something which gave lot of people a lose motion and an experience which is tough to forgo. I am told the loot in CWG alone was a good seventy thousand crores. More than the loot it is the inaction of the government against the thugs is what annoyed the most. In the name of investigation Congress got engaged with the fulltime job of fooling an entire nation. Be it coming up with a nonsensical zero loss theorem or outright hogwash, it was always an attempt at sabotaging the natural justice system. No wonder why one culprit after the other is systematically allowed to come out of the jail.

Tackling Price Rise: In a nation which is full with hardworking and minimal earning middleclass, how painful it becomes for a large chunk of the citizenry when the prices of the goods goes through the roof. It becomes double the pain when this large section is forced to bear the unbearable price rise for the good part of last couple of years. When the income has grown by only 5% in an average the nation was pushed into some stiff double digit inflation. Most painful among the lot is the food inflation. While the government is dumb enough to conclude an earning of Rs 32/- or more per day doesn’t put you into the BPL list, at the same time they are inconsiderate enough to allow the food inflation to rise to a level where one can see vegetables and other food items getting sold in jewelry shops. In a nation where nearly 40% struggle for food, lintels costing no less than Rs 100/- per kilo are nothing short of a cruel joke on the face of realty. Amidst all this the complete ‘I care damn’ attitude of our agriculture minister is disheartening. When the nation expected him to take some concrete steps to control this menace he rather kept himself busy with some nonsense called IPL and only had a new date to offer out of the blue whenever asked for the details of the steps he and his ministry have taken to control it. Another joker of the lot is Montek Sing Ahluwalia. Rather being engaged with the government to set things on track he was trying to copy Sharad Pawar and come up his own set of dates on the expected date of relief. Action of an economist prime-minister in all this is anything but dissatisfactory. He let the situation slip out of his hands since it is not him or his close associates having a hell lot of black money stashed elsewhere were getting affected with the price rise. I just feel disgusted on the attitude of our government on this issue.

Disrespect For All: Arrogance have even ruined greats like Napoleon Bonaparte. Surprisingly enough the Congress chaps thought themselves a notch above than this iconic figure. In a matter of haste or I don’t if it was because of too much cocaine smoking which led the government to treat the decisive mandate  for them as a platform to showcase their arrogance to the same people who gave them this mandate. Behavior of everyone from Congress was rotten to say the least. Out of nowhere the people of the nation became degradable entities on the eyes of all those who were in power. Complete abjection, no respect for individual views, arrogant enough to treat all as slave and that rubbish conclusion of being the numero-uno saw many Congress leaders behave as if they own half the nation. Individuals who stood up and started asking uncomfortable questions were subjected to the unnecessary ire of these politicians. From Anna Hazare to those nameless who were agitating for the welfare of Bhopal gas victims; all were painted through a bad brush by the Congress. While their own characters were lot to be desired, they conveniently try to do the character assassination of all those who were genuinely in pursue of a better and corruption free India. Common people were even not left out of their one-upmanship. What else can explain the arrogance of an elected government to send a platoon of paramilitary forces at the middle of the night to lathi charge innocent people who were sleeping? The fault of theirs was their open disapproval of Congress loot. Irrespective of age, sex and stature all were mercilessly beaten up for no apparent fault of theirs while the audacity of the rascals in Congress took a new low when they were shameless enough to defend their action the next day than hanging themselves out of shame. By the way, I am yet to conclude how arrogant a person needs to be to utter something like ‘Elected And Electable’ in a country which is touted as the world’s largest democracy. 

You will literally need a ton of paper to elaborate the codswallop behavior of UPA-II constituents and Congress guys to be specific. While they should runaway hiding their faces for the three year of utter mis-governance so much so that they have screwed the economy upside-down, they rather are shamelessly celebrating their third anniversary as if they have scared the shit out of all the honest people of the world and inviting a hoard of other buffoons to join them in celebrating three successful years of pan India loot. Honestly, if UPA-II can celebrate their anniversary for reasons best known to them then I don’t see why should not Rahul Sharma goes out and join a rave party to celebrate Pune Warriors IPL performance.

Open Letter To IPL

Dear IPL,

I feel no shame in admitting that I am a great fan of the game called Cricket. But that said I feel ashmed to admit that, had I known something as annoying as IPL will be carved out of this beautiful game I would have stuck to my school age favorite games of Kho-Kho and Kabbadi. Or Gili-Danda may be.

You know what is the most annoying about IPL? No, it is not Rajeev Shukla but the manner in which the gentleman’s game was made to appear like a money milking cow for many. Where a game’s sanctity should have been the paramount concern and should have been preserved to its last originality, the organizers conveniently decided to sabotage it to start with. Greed took the better of sensible thinking and repute of the game itself when the organizers made an absolute farce of the game to come up with rules and guidelines which only we find in stock markets or in an average Gujarati household. Avenues are made at various stages to make a hell lot of money without caring an ounce for the repercussion that it may bring into the game, the players or even the viewers.

To begin with – why the hell BCCI takes hundreds of millions for a franchise? I mean, I no way should be concerned for few dumbs who unfortunately are filthy rich to go for team auction, but on the curiosity front I want to fathom the reasons that one should pay such an amount to buy a team, which is even sufficient for Mayawati to spend in five different cities to build her statues and parks. What the BCCI is investing in coming up with the teams that they should charge so exorbitantly? 900 million for just coming up with crappie names like ‘Pune Warriors’ or ‘Kochi Tuskers’? If this naked display of money in a nation where 40% still don’t get sufficient stuff to eat was not enough the BCCI came up with another brilliant money minting scheme. Player’s auction that is. In the history of India, it became the first instance when humans were auctioned as if they are commodities. I don’t blame the players for agreeing to get auctioned themselves like slaves as I would have agreed not only to be auctioned but to play the entire tournament in nude if someone has offered me a million for no reason whatsoever. 11 crores for Yusuf Pathan? Really? Even though I admire Shahrukh Khan’s smoking in public and getting into a brawl anywhere qualities, I feel this purchase of him was as bizarre as someone paying a lakh or two to get hold of a 1976 model Bajaj Priya scooter. While I am no way concerned about someone shedding a little of his/her black money on absolute garbage, I have my objections in this shameless distribution of free money in a land where half of our kids can’t afford to go to schools. This is not only insensible but also criminal.

The length of the tournament is another thing which I feel Pratibha Patil must take into consideration for review alongside Afzal Guru’s mercy petition before she retires and goes for a full time land grabbing expedition. How in earth one can think of a tournament which goes on and on like a B. S. Yeddyurappa press conference? How can you arrange a tournament spanning over a period of two months? Do you realize how lengthy a period of two months is? Hell even the Jharkhand government hasn’t sustained for that long in last five attempts. During this edition alone I have this friend who got divorced, married again and was asking about a better divorce lawyer a couple of days back and what is surprising, the tournament hasn’t even reached its knockout stage. For God’s sake, can’t we have a shorter format not spanning over few generations? Or is IPL genuinely trying to compete with our External Affairs ministry who are engaged with Pakistan for last six decades and we are yet to get Hafeez Saeed even slapped once.

Insane display of money all through has introduced rowdiness and few rowdies in the whole tournament. Owners having a hell amount of money in their banks were rowdy to begin with while these players after being offered money loaded in Lorries have made a paradigm shift to a complete uncultured world. What else can explain the slap that landed on the cheeks of poor Sreesanth by a bowler who not only is below international quality but a nonsense at large. Look at a certain Shahrukh Khan and his behavior whole through this IPL farce. Doesn’t he make Kamal Khan look an angle in comparison? From nowhere he was caught intentionally smoking from the stands of Sawai Mansing stadium all the while doing a famous Titanic act. While people were still analyzing the impact of his public smoking on his image as a celebrity he nonchalantly tried to manhandle a security guard at the Wankhade stadium day before yesterday and ended up delivering all the possible Maa-Behen Gaalis of the world. If this is not rowdiness then I am not sure what else it is. When he has got absolutely no business to venture in the field after the match was over, he not only did that but tried to show his celebrity status being the owner of a team to the poor security guard who was just doing his duty. Only good thing that came out of this brawl is MCA’s strong stand in banning Sharukh to enter Wankhade ever in his life. This is fine as per me since Government just decided to ban cartoons and MCA officials implemented it at once. See I am not even mentioning the brilliance of Luke Pomersbach when he eneded up not only molesting a woman inside a five start hotel but also bashed her fiance black and blue when he objected. This man for sure is a brillant ambassador for IPL and the game of Cricket at large.

By the way, what are these cheer girls are there for? I mean, I am all for some entertainment but let me assure you, the filthy belly dancing coupled with the commentary of Danny Morrison and Ravi Shatri is strictly headache stuff, not entertainment. Why bloody I have to think like a Nobel laureate to come up with a suitable reply to answer my nephew on why these girls are not wearing anything and doing some ugly dancing whenever a boundary is scored or wicket falls? And that too during a Cricket match? Come on!! What do you think of me? Am I a human or a Member Of Parliament? If at all the gross idea of IPL was to have some serious women empowerment then can’t we have cheer girls who are Indian than having a hoard of girls from Ukraine and Uzbekistan who were primarily in India with a tourist Visa for prostitution? Please stop this ugly dancing since Munaf Patel’s bowling and his tantrums as if he owns 5% of Indian GDP is enough.

This is a request of mine long pending with BCCI even. Please stop Ravi Shatri from doing commentary. Please in the name of Pratibha Patil. Please. To end my letter here is a little piece of suggestion. Even though Lalit Modi was an outright rogue element he still was far better than the guy who is heading IPL currently. Somebody who is still a little sane among the IPL organizers must take this chap Rajeev Shukla to a corner and threaten him with dire consequences if he doesn’t put on a properly fitting suite next time but before that just slap him and tell him – it is TOURNAMENT not ‘TORNAAMEINT’. Disgusting!!

Regards
A Vivid IPL watcher

The Cartoon That Irked Our Parliamentarians

Not that I expect our politicians to behave rationally ever. That said I am honestly tired of seeing our political class getting more intolerant by the hours towards anything and everything that questions, criticizes and mocks their usefulness in the context of a developing nation. Time and again our political class has taken ugly turns at curbing down any credible move against them. Be it banning books, banning social media, degrading individuals like Anna Hazare and the latest – banning cartoons.

Truth be told, I was flummoxed when I first heard the bizarre development inside our parliament around the caricature depiction of Jawaharlal Nehru and Ambedkar in NCERT books. My initial reaction was like – ‘What the heck? Really?’ when I was told about the ruckus inside the parliament. The scenes were equally awesome as the news itself. A hell lot of chaps who haven’t yet succeeded in writing their own names but unfortunately are our elected leaders were shouting at the top of their voice to show how disturbed and dissatisfied they are on this whole cartoon farce. In the eye of the storm was the Zero loss Theorem man Kapil Sibal since it his ministry which was accused of some irresponsible behavior which even Shahrukh Khan can take heart of.

Now the question arises – did the sky really fall on the parliament because of that cartoon? Well at least seems like. What else could explain the collective behavior that was on display for all to see for a cartoon drawn half a century back? A set of people who are certified Gandhi family bootlickers were up in shouting for the bad representation (I don’t know how) of their grand old leader another set who have got nothing else in life to do than uttering the ‘Dalit’ word were ready to tear apart each other’s kurta because the cartoon projected the biggest Dalit Icon in a bad light. Knives were out before anyone can even fathom the irrational behavior in its entirety. Strange. No? Strange because the so called leaders who should show exemplary acumen in tolerance, more so when our society is becoming intolerant and volatile at an alarming pace, are rather turning highly intolerant themselves. Systematically and gradually our politicians are thrashing out anything that questions their demeanor, behavior and their loot. The intolerance towards critics and criticism seems to have taken a new low during the current government tenure where we find our politicians cutting across party lines remain busy in banning one thing or the other that doesn’t go down well with their style of functioning.

First it was a ferocious attempt by Kapil Sibal and team to put checks-and-balances on social media. While various excuses were thrown at us at a faster rate than Rakhi Shawant can throw tantrums, the inherent idea behind such a move was anything but evident. Fresh from some ‘Egg on the face’ event of Anna movement, the gray cunning foxes found the social media being the galvanizing agent around the success of the anti-corruption agitation. No wonder for the benefit of oneself, individuals can turn absolute idiots and that is what the Congress clowns did. The safest solution was to follow the age old saying - “Naa Rahega Baans, Naa Bajegi Banshuri”. Entire ire was zeroed on the social media and the dirty trick department worked overtime to formulate rules and regulations to censor the otherwise no hold bar and free flowing social media. I wish our politicians would have shown half the agility in curbing corruption and social injustice than what they did when top executives of these social websites were summoned without any time being wasted.

Second in the firing line was the Blogs since way too much was getting written their on the qualities and capabilities or the lack of it of the beloved prince and the unofficial mother India. Can’t divulge the names but I myself can remember at least two instances when I received some serious objection mails from red-eyed Congress chaps. Out of nowhere our constitution was thrown out of the window and Rahul Gandhi suddenly becomes larger than ‘Freedom Of Expression And Opinion’. Demarche orders were issued to the big fishes of these blog sites and were ordered to resurrect the behavioral aspect of the bloggers which in a way means – ‘Don’t write anything against the Gandhi family’.

After social media and blogs now it seems it is the turn of the cartoons to take some beating. While the alleged cartoon itself is no way near being termed offensive our politicians engulfed in their own nefarious intention have picked the wrong end of the stick yet again and behaving like absolute naught. Without delay Kapil Sibal agreed to remove the alleged cartoon from the books which lead to the resignation of Yogendra Yadav (advisor to CBSE); perhaps one of the best that our education system has got. While the same politicians who can’t build a consensus around Jan Lokpal for last one year suddenly turned as cohesive as group sex participants in damning any such cartoon and agree upon to issue death warrants against the cartoonist even if he is dead a good couple of decades back. If that was not enough, Yogendra Yadav’s house was attacked by the miscreants the next day for allowing such cartoons to feature in text books. Just when all though the things are settling down after a lot of chaos, the brilliant brains came up with yet another of their brilliancy. And the brilliancy is to ban cartoon all together since they are becoming too dangerous for the looters, thugs, buffoons and scoundrels of our political domain. Banning of cartoons can’t come as a bigger disappointment than the proof that along with the lack of honesty, morality and ethics at least one more thing our politicians lack is something called ‘Sense Of Humor’. Shameful or do we have better words to explain this?

Just look at what our politicians are giving priority while a lot of other important issues (including which piece of land we now must allow Pratibha Patil to grab) which need some serious consideration and debate lying unattended; our economy going to the dogs at an alarming pace; internal security at it’s all time mess; serious lack of governance and as they say serious policy paralysis; unpreparedness of our army to fight any big scale war as concerned by Gen. V.K. Sing; food inflation going right through the roof and of course the decision to change the type of Biriyani for Kasav since we are feeding him the same stuff for last two and half years. According to our politicians, of all these important issues what should first be addressed? If one can draw cartoons or not. Brilliant; No? I guess none needs elaboration on why China is light-years ahead of India in terms of many things.

By the way, on a second thought – All those who are making cartoons of the politicians are venturing into some serious time wasting endeavors. Do one really need to draw cartoons of the cartoon figures to bring out their funny avatar? Just on the second thought.

Sucks - Meva Jayate

I am no fan of realty shows where a hoard of people get involved in insulting each other or talent is decided on the basis of SMS garnered as if electing absolute garbage through electoral politics for last half a century is not good enough a deterrent or a bunch of self-righteous chaps hurdling down to discuss issues which are nationalistic and of mass concern or for that matter even MTV Rhodies which is coming out as a big surprise as no court yet awarded death penalty to its producers or the absolute bullshitters who host the show.

Based upon my reservations towards the realty shows and my internal deep down wish of making each of the producers and host of these shows as potential target for Agni-V testing, Amir Khan hosted Satyameva Jayate doesn’t fall into any exception category. At the outset let me clear this – I also hate this show as much as I hate any other realty show, Pakistan, Congress party and Ravindra Jadeja. Hence I would suggest all those who believe this new show is the second best thing that happened to our nation after Abhisekh Manu Singvi’s sex tapes, can stay away from this post since I am in no mood to make a Rakhi Shawant out of normal human beings.

I have a question to start with – What the hell is this show all about? I mean, what is the idea and rational behind organizing such a show? If the idea was to project that few celebrities who only worry for the nation and rest of the country are as useful as Piyush Chawla then let me assure you even my dog is going to refute your beliefs. I am all for having people discussing and debating on matters related to national interest but staring down at random office going individuals (like Shakti Kapoor does with the movie heroine) from billboards and TV screens in the program promo is a little too much for comfort. In a nation where the number of problems might very well match our population, a show organized to cherry-pick few of the issues and discuss it on TV studious is going to be as fruitful as employing Suresh Kalmadi and A Raja as the security consultants for a bank locker system. People where fancy with the idea of corruption and believe it to be their birth right to exercise it and loot the nation, someone with a stardom stature coming on TV and preaching the practice of honesty is as bizarre as suggesting a Japanese tourist to watch a Bhojpuri movie.

No one should get me wrong here since I am also all in favor of a corruption free society but making an overture of attempt to project oneself as a league apart from the rest and the savior of the mankind is not what one can term as an attempt at bringing equality in the society. While I laud Amir Khan for his attempt at curbing corruption and corrupt practice, it still no way takes out the futile attempt of the producers to project themselves as Mr. Know All as if the rest all are, pardon my French, ‘Chutiya’ of highest breed.

More bizarre is the belief of a lot of people that Amir Khan with his show is going to impart a so called positive mentality change among us. Really? I don’t blame the populace for getting carried away every time a celebrity opens his or her mouth. Examples are easily more than even Asish Nehra's dental count. A nation of more than a billion has to be told by Amitabh Bachhan the value of polio vaccination before they can start enquiring about the next drop date. Consumption of cold drinks increased by many folds since these celebrities started advertising for it. The same Amir Khan who is now emerging as a messiah against everything that is happening wrong was once the brand ambassador of a Cola company which was heavily accused of mixing pesticide in the drink beyond some allowed limit. Salman Khan who has cases against him of drunk driving and killing people under his SUV tyres or the infamous Chinkara killing episode has started something called ‘Being Human’ and rest of the nation believe him to possess a heart only at par with the warrior Karna of Mahabharata and his transformation to the present condition is something which even King Ashok would have taken immense pride of. This is what a country we are where a certain Katrina Kaif seduces all of us to go for Mango Slice ditching Mazza.

I have only watched one episode of this show and felt more suffocated than what Paris Hilton would feel in a Saree. That said there is at least one doubt of mine that got cleared from that episode. Now I am sure Sridevi not only does gross over acting in the movies but also in her real life. The over inflating smile and the dialogue delivery in a voice which even irritates me in my dreams proves one thing – this lady should have been awarded with a Padma Bhushan for her acting prowess alone. More than the issue at hand the entire effort throughout the episode was to give Amir Khan a messiah look. At no point in the entire episode I felt the urge to get inside the TV and kiss Amir for such noble gesture. In fact all that thrown at us was a farce at best where a successful actor in partnership with an outdated and out of work actress tried their best to pretend they are there to talk on a pertinent issue but in reality they did nothing than some ugly smiling and an unquestionable attempt at self-gloating. Anna Hazare and the couple of poor chaps they called on stage that day can go to hell if they wish to but it is only the show ‘Satyameva Jayate’ which will eliminate corruption and wrong doings from our country.

Honestly, I don’t have any issues with Amir taking away three crores per episode. He is after all doing his job and he should duly be compensated for his work. As it is when we can tolerate mass looters of thousand and lakhs of crores without any fuss, a certain gentleman earning the money for his work shouldn’t bring in the flack which surprisingly it has. How much Amir is paid is strictly a matter between Amir and the producer and certainly doesn’t require half of the nation to lose their sleep on the amount, provided all of us are not Pranab Mukherjee.

All said and done, it still a commendable effort and kudos to Amir for coming up with this show, though he could have stared at the bystanders from the hoardings in a little milder manner. Before I go, I want to ask that minister who said Amir is not working for the issues but for money – Why he himself has entered politics? To serve the people or to loot the nation?

The Bail Of A Raja And Other Stories

What a day today is for whole of India. Watershed may be. For the millionth time we yet again failed to bring a thug and rogue element to task. We yet again failed as a nation in unison to deliver justice. We yet again failed to set an example for generations to come on how one should deal with apprehended culprits. In nutshell we yet again failed ourselves miserably.

The bail that was granted to A. Raja settled many things once-and-for-all and at the paramount of it is the proof that we are a soft nation towards almost everything that has got potential to harm us. Let it be terrorists, Maoists or our white collar bureaucrats and politicians, we cease to act against them for reasons known to none. Even if at some point we manage to apprehend a scoundrel or two we conveniently keep on sleeping over the issue till the public anger dies down a bit so that the dirty trick department equipped with their nefarious intentions can manipulate the situation to safeguard the overzealous greed of few. People in power know very well about our collective behavior of forgetting things quicker than Sanjeev Nanda washed his BMW. No sooner the hullabaloo residues marginally, the culprits are let lose. I don’t blame the citizenry entirely since we as a nation have way too many problems to tackle and negotiate. Even much more than the chest hair count of Anil Kapoor; thanks to our cunning politicians and corrupt system.

Before we move forward on A. Raja’s bail I want to ask that someone from Congress who said on TV that UPA government is doing its best to curb corruption and arresting guys involved in scams. Where is he now? Can he come forward and throw some light on this latest bail that is granted? Can that spokesperson who was taking high moral ground on the backbone of few arrests while shamelessly forgetting the loot to begin with explain what the nation achieved after a prolonged shoddy investigation where one after the other culprit let lose systematically? Where are all those from Congress who were squeezing their nostrils by the mere mention of A. Raja and UPA’s corrupt avatar? Why I don’t see the motor mouths who were hailing few farces in the form of arrests as a bigger spectacle than Agni-V launching?

Raja getting the bail is not as scary as the trend that is setting in to our criminal justice system and the capabilities or the lack of it of our premiere investigative agency. Over the last couple of months, all those who were arrested for one scam or the other are granted bail one by one. From Kalmadi to Raja, all were granted bail on the ground of parity. Our investigative wing CBI’s attitude in the process is anything but questionable. In an open and shut case like 2G, the premiere sniffer Dogs couldn’t even string the chords and join the dots to establish the crime. While an institution like CBI should have gone with full force in protecting the interest of the nation they rather were busy covering up the case and hush up the matter in connivance with their bosses in Shastri Bhavan. Their almost negligible objection towards the bail pleas leaves no doubt whatsoever on the amount of farce that we were shown for last year and half in the name of some bloody investigation.

Remember the days when these scoundrels were first arrested after a prolonged delay, huge media pressure and intervention of our Apex court. A lot of hot air was blown by one-and-all when the likes of Kalmadi, Raja, Kanimozhi, Chandolia were send packing to Tihar. Media mouth pieces of Congress shouted from the roof top and hailed the action as yet another example of clean governance and motto of Congress party to not tolerate any kind of corruption. We were made to believe that the incumbent government is as serious as my mathematics teacher to bring all the buffoons to book. Anti-corruption crusaders like Anna Hazare were damned as they were blamed for taking the nation to ransom when the government is acting strongly against corruption.

So much was promised, which also included exemplary action against the likes of Raja, Kalmadi but what we have got at the end of the day? Absolutely nothing. First it was Kalmadi who was allowed to walk free since CBI failed to establish the crime too concretely. Then it was the turn of Raja to further add insult to our injuries when he was granted bail today without anyone from the government opposing the decision a bit. The audacity of the idiot to wave at his supporters and throw random flying kisses while coming out of the court suggests how big a mockery we have made of ourselves. While various telecom companies (read Bribe Givers) were being duly punished for their involvement, the main culprit who stage managed all these events to felicitate this mass loot is allowed to walk out of the Tihar premises for no reason at all.

While we can keep on debating the legal angles of this latest bail (egg on our face rather) the idea behind such clinical hushing up of the matter is all but crystal clear. In a mission to protect the real whales of both 2G and CWG scam the con party had no option but to protect the small Dolphins like Raja and Kalmadi. The corrupts up at the top layer just can’t afford to have these pawns behind bars for a longer period as it might resulted them in opening their mouths to vomit shit in the form of information. The royal thugs dressed in white had their egos, greed and future tightly coupled with the fate of these clowns. Hence it was only obvious that CBI could have been advised to go slow on the matter or if possible make an outright mess of the investigation so that the two potential threats to many doesn’t languish behind the bars for a longer period of time. That was what the road map when the CBI sleuths first said ‘Mr. Raja, Aap Kanun Ke Giraft Main Hain’ and pretty much remained the same till today.

By the way, I have two more concerns than just Raja walking out with a Lungi. First is the future of A. Raja. Hope he doesn’t do a Kalmadi by demanding for his telecom ministry to be returned to him with all honor. Second is the funny behavior of Ramgopal Varma. I pray with my life, he doesn’t make a movie based on A. Raja’s life story.

P.S :- If you see either or both A. Raja and Suresh Kalmadi laughing their way to the bank please call upon the municipality dog catching unit without even wasting a second.

Our Parliament Turned 60 During My Vacation

I am not a vacation man. When I say vacation man, I no way wanted to highlight the luxury our incumbent president is enjoying where she was found vacationing around the globe for the better part of the four years of her five year stint. It just happened for me on the go and all of a sudden I found myself relaxing for last ten days, pretty much ‘Far From The Madding Crowd’. Thanks to the astounding service quality of Idea Cellular, my Net connection behaved more erratically than A. Raja while I was roaming, almost forcing me to stay away from any internet activity since the speed of the connection always made Venkatesh Prasad look like a tear-away fast bowler in comparison. And let me assure you – that experience was never refreshing.

Anyway, coming back to the topic. A hell lot seem to have happened all these days when I was enjoying a complete Mama’s boy status. While the unnecessary cat fight on whom to appoint as our next president continued with full swing the current president quite unceremoniously agreed to get rid of the land she almost managed to grab without anyone noticing it. While Hilary Clinton honored all of us with her visit with a sole agenda of giving a tip or two to Abhisekh Manu Singvi’s wife on how to tackle the situation through which she and her husband were going, a fat and foodie little boy from Nagpur did it the second time when he conveniently back kicked many in the race while on top the RSS horse. Hell, even the irrational Didi didn’t make much noise to scare the shit out of the current Government. While there were exemplary instances, which also includes but not limited to B.S. Yeddyurappa praising Sonia Gandhi for reasons best known to him only; the thing that is most interesting of the lot was the occasion when our Parliament turned 60 years old.

A lot of hot air was blown leading up to this momentous occasion. The typical flag bearers of secularism or rather the fondly addressed ‘Pseudo Seculars’ were all over the place howling and hailing our so called vibrant democracy and its success in being the largest in the world of its kind. But all this while when all were going Gaga, in toto I was keeping myself reminded of entities like N.D.Tiwari, A.Raja, Kalmadi, Sukhram and many more. The question that I was intentionally asking myself is, aren’t these fine gentlemen are a byproduct of our democracy? Shouldn’t we in the time of this proud celebration must pay our heartfelt appreciations to these guys, even if that means visiting the Tihar Jail to say ‘Thank You’?

Highlight of the day was our Prime-Minister and his momentous speech to the congregation. As if he was in a mission to prove the age old saying “Politics is the last resort of the scoundrels”, he came equipped with a hell lot of lies. His lies were broadcasted live across the world and Tweeted through his official account to let know how great an institution like our Parliament is. Best was when he said ‘our politicians over the decades have always tried with all honesty for the betterment of the nation and its citizens’. Really? And all this while we were only accusing Zardari for being the biggest rascal and a Walmart of lies.

Let’s pause for a second and analyze what we have gained from this Parliament or the occupants of it in last 60 years. Can you list at least 10 benefits? Can you in one go? Nothing cynical; not sure of others but I would rather prefer watching a Mohanlal starrer dubbed Tamil movie than preparing such a list. In collective loot that is going inside this parliament for last 60 years, we as a nation have already lost more than what we have earned. Politicians cutting across party lines have time-and-again hoodwinked and exploited the nation by either on religious or cast or region ground. Sycophants lurking all over the place with a mission to project few worthless individuals of a family with a larger than life image. Criminals covering two third of the entire population of our parliament and yet we call it a successful and vibrant democracy. Dirty trick masters are always more than eager to fool the nation with their tricks and stop people who ask uncomfortable questions with bizarre statements like ‘Elected And Electable’. Half of our parliamentarians are languishing in Tihar and jails elsewhere and yet we fart like dinosaurs while calling ourselves the largest democracy of the world. Where is the gain that we have got from our politicians, parliament and democracy?

Scams after scams are accomplished and billions of public money was stashed in foreign banks while a third of our nation struggle to arrange a descent square meal per day. Absolute useless individuals were send abroad for higher studies and return back as Harvard graduates even after failing the first semester examination while 20% of our kids beg on the streets. Honest people like Shanmughan Manjunath and Satyendra Dube lose their lives in defending clean practice while seasoned scoundrels and history shitters like Raja Bhaya were made jail ministers. People like Kalmadi who in all probability have screwed the sporting culture of the nation go to their banks laughing while the Government at center is busy in hogwashing. Kith and Kins of the politicians are Teflon coated from any kind of official or police action, even against gruesome acts of crime like rape and murder while poor people were thrown behind bars for stealing a kilo of rice since the pain of seeing own kids starving to death was backbreaking. Rs 300/- slapped as fine for wrong parking but none seems too interested to take stocks of the loot money lying in Swiss banks. Public servants are manhandled and suspended for doing their duty and not allowing Son-In-Laws to break the rules while the politicians who are corrupt and criminal from head to toe look like being answerable to none. So among all these nuisance where is the bloody gain in this farce of 60 years that we should celebrate the way Rajdeep Sardesai wishes all of us to do?

Go to any place in this country, you would have examples self-explaining the atrocity of our political class. From village Panchayat to Parliament house, it is only a colony of looters, criminals and rapists who rule the roots of our democracy. From production baby foods to our moon mission, everything is systematically brought into the corruption web by our political class. Nothing is spared from loot extravaganza, not even our Polio eradication mission. From community toilets to cattle food; everything is gulped down by our political class without showing any signs of remorse or guilt. And still we were told by none other than our Prime-Minister that we are a successful, vibrant and would you believe? honest democracy. For a change I want to rather believe Shayed Ali Shah Gilani when he says there is not enough evidence to nail down Hafeez Saeed.

By the way, did I forget to mention the famous Gas leaking Saga of Rajya Sabha? How dare I can? Can I? On the joyous confirmation that at least one sensing organ of our politicians still working I replied to my friend’s Tweet – “Gas or no Gas, both our houses, Rajya Sabha and Lok Sabha stink like a swine in a pool of mud”.

The Notorious Race To Rashtrapati Bhavan

I am happy that July is fast approaching. No not because I have my birthday in that month but because we finally be relieved of a huge burden that was thrust upon us a good five years back by Congress. Finally the day would come when we will bid our adieu to perhaps the worst president that India has seen since Fakhruddin Ali Ahmed. 

While political parties have already started their bit of calculation and consultation to zero in on the candidate of their choice, I have a mixed feeling on the whole issue. While at one hand I am happy that things can only get better looking at the stature of the current incumbent, at the same time the too much politicization of a completely apolitical post scares me a bit. Whatever I have seen of Indian politics, I am sure I can’t imagine any previous Presidential election which has the amount of fanfare that we are building up to this one; not even the election of Pratibha Patil. I can’t remember the last time I saw political parties blowing hot air over the presidential election as they are doing for this one. It always invariably was a mutual consensus among various political parties to agree upon a candidate with a clean and unquestionable image to fit to the decorated post. Never was it a case for political parties to score brownie points by pushing their candidate to show that one-upmanship. So what went wrong this time? Why there are as many numbers of prospective candidates as the number of political parties? Why every party is hell-bent on creating a chaos on the day of electing our next president? 

The lid was first forced open by Sharad Pawar when he advocated for a non-political person for the post. Let me say this, for the first time I am willing to agree on what Mr. Pawar has to say. The post of the President should always be a post for the intellectuals, visionaries, achievers and most important for a person having zero political alliance or aspiration. No two ways should be drawn on this. Ironically it is the grand old party Congress which has maligned this post time and again by pushing candidates having some obedience for the Gandhi family. Be it Giani Zail Singh or the current incumbent Mrs. Pratibha Patil. 

As expected, there was chorus that followed Mr. Pawar’s statement with candidate names been thrown left-right-and-center. First name that popped up was that of the ex-president Dr. Kalam. It was Pawar who first suggested this great man’s name which was subsequently been supported by Mulayam Sing Yadav. There were few other minor regional parties who seemed to tow the same lines and vouch for Dr. Kalam. While a consensus looked like building around the missile man, Congress quite expectedly throw their hat in the ring with a different view. Even though they haven’t yet named their candidate, it is anything but obvious that Hamid Ansari could be the front runner in their list. Opposition of Kalam’s candidature by Congress was as expected as Pakistan opposing anything that has got something to do with Indian since Dr. Kalam was always opposed to the idea of Sonia Gandhi becoming the Prime-Minister of India and in all likelihood the prince becoming the same in future. Could Congress afford such a President who is a complete no-nonsense and cares for Gandhi family as much as Congress cares for the Aam-Aadmi? That was why Kalam didn’t get the support of Congress the last time around when Pratibha Patil was given a preference for reasons known to even my pet dog.

But there is a catch with Congress behavior this time. After numerous arrogant and bullhead decisions making and annoying a lot of allies in the process, they seem to have learnt the art of coalition management finally. While messengers of Gandhi family are flying all over India to meet the allies to come to a consensus, BJP in all probability have shot on their foot. Out of nowhere a seasoned politician like Sushma Swaraj announced Dr. Kalam as the candidate of NDA. No wonder such unanimous decision without consulting their prime ally JD(U) have irate few in the camp. While Sharad Yadav has refuted the claim of Mrs. Swaraj on the grounds that they were never consulted before going public with the name, Nitish Kumar has asked for an explanation or two from BJP on the same. Up there in North, a wily fox called Mulayam Yadav, who was in for of Kalam as president few days back seem to be taking a U-Turn when his party spokesperson popped up the name of S.Y. Quraishi  on a TV debate. Rumors are there that even Mulayam Yadav himself is in the race for the post alongside another veteran from Congress named Pranab Mukherjee. While political parties keep on fighting on the person to be, let’s sit down and analyze the entire probable ourselves. Let’s keep Dr. Kalam out of this analysis since for me he is the best person for the post on any bloody given day.

A name that first strikes me is that of Gopal Gandhi. The great grandson of the father of the nation, he was a clean bureaucrat with a pretty much clean service record. His behavior and conduct as the Governor of West Bengal is again unquestionable and free of any taints. His recent meeting with Naveen Pattnaik shows, he is trying to build a rapport among political parties for his candidature. Being a good bureaucrat and Governor himself, he knows our politics and system inside-out. If you ask me, he could be a fine President since he understands the nerves required to be in such formal but yet very important positions. But will Mamta Banarjee approve of his candidature? Mamta was always against Gopal Gandhi and accused him of getting too cozy with the Left, still being the Governor of the state. Knowing Mamta and all her baseless allegations for decades we can safely assume it could be yet one of those Mamta paranoia but at a time when her own ministers are even advising people to not get their children married in CPI(M) supporter’s house, how she would react on the mention of Gopal Gandhi’s name is anybody’s guess. Honestly I even rate Dr. S.Y. Quraishi in the same length that of Gopal Gandhi and see a lot of similarity between these two gentlemen. He won’t be that bad a President either.

Another name that is doing the rounds is of Sam Pitroda. No doubt on the credentials of this candidature but can he be a neutral person? Can we call him a completely apolitical figure? He belongs to my state and I would love someone from my state as the first citizen but that said his yesteryears close association with Gandhi family, Rajiv Gandhi in particular doesn’t give me much confidence. Since the days of telephone revolution he is always with Congress and at present is part of the advisory board to the Prime-Minister. Can anyone assure, in the event of a political crisis he won’t favor the Congress over the ethics and guidelines laid out by our constitution? Probably he won’t but then why have doubts and take chances with the first citizen of this nation?

Rumors are that even Pranab Mukharjee is in the race. He is a veteran and a great politician and there where I have a problem. Can’t we for once elect someone who doesn’t have any political version whatsoever? While I respect Pranab Da as a politician, I can’t approve of him being the President of the nation by looking at his political associations. I am sure he will remain as neutral as anyone can but I doubt if in standout eventualities he can still remain the same and won’t blink in favor of Congress. Can it be assured that his close to half a century association with Congress can be wiped of his memory so easily? Can it be?

There is this guy who nobody is talking about is the ex-Chief Justice of India M.N. Venkatachaliah. Looking at the present political turmoil, it is anything but expected that the next general election could easily be a make-or-break case for many on individual level and so as for the nation to some extent. To tackle an uncomfortable political situation post 2014 general election we might need a person as our President who understands the constitution to the fullest. Mr. Venkatachaliah fits the bill right there. He also possesses a clean record as the Chief Justice Of India. For me Mr. Venkatachaliah is a fine option which political parties must consider but again looking at his bashing of the then Narashimha Rao government, how comfortable Congress will be with his name is a thing to watch out for.

By the way, did someone actually suggest Mulayam Yadav’s name for President? Heavens!! In that case I would rather prefer Pratibha Patil to continue till eternity.