Being Cynical™: June 2012

Who Cares Who Becomes The President?

Published on: Thursday, June 28, 2012 // Congress, Dirty Tricks, India, Losers, Politicians, Politics, Public Interest, Touts

Honestly, nobody really cares who becomes our next president. Partly because we never find the utility of such posts in our country nor ever we have seen the person in such positions has done anything significant for the nation that people have gone crazy and kissed Muthia Murlitharan’s ass out of happiness. Another part because we Indians seldom care or show interest for anything until someone plants a truck load of RDx in our backyard or the neighbor’s dog shits in front of our door. So in a complex Indian mentality where life is all about watching Cricket, being corrupt or ducking yourself from the corrupts, making Rajnikanth jokes, listening to Rahul Gandhi’s bhasans, peeing on every electricity poll one can find, fighting with every second person on the street and tolerating all those honorable or not so honorable politicians 24/7; how importance seeking phenomena our Presidential elections could be is anybody’s guess. Hence, I am no exception to an average Indian on this at least and even interested less than what Munaf Patel is interested for a bath on who is going to be our next President or if we end up having no President at all.

Not sure about the entire nation on their reasons for treating the president and the post as a bigger burden than what Bisen Singh Bedi is for world cricket, but here are the reasons which always makes me wonder – if we can abolish other nonsense like Child Marriage, Sati rituals, TADA, honesty then why not this bloody post?

Money wasting extravaganza: - I hate this position primarily because a lot of money is wasted in decorating such posts and maintaining such individuals. In a nation where a lot of people are still forced to survive on their own shit a ‘someone’ enjoying a luxurious life as if he/she has managed to successfully clean shave Anil Kapoor, is seriously some real bizarre stuff. The protocol that an entire nation is forced to follow so that such craps can be accommodated is more bizarre. Crores of rupees are spend annually to maintain such protocols alone. For example, a useless entity designated as President Calls for an equally useless spouse to be treated at par. That means an equal amount has to be wasted on someone whom anyone barely knows or cares for. Don’t believe me? Then just ask yourself the names of the spouses of all our Presidents except A.P.J. Abdul Kalam since he has none. Money wasted on maintaining the status-quo alone could easily feed thousands of homeless on daily basis. If that is not enough, our Presidents surprisingly enough, readily agree to visit foreign lands, even when they are crippled with lose motion is another of the waste which should not be tolerated. An average President making around 100 foreign trips on tax payer’s money is nothing less than criminal in a nation where 40% of the populace still languishes under a poverty line which Monteksing Ahluwalliah (he is another idiot) would disagree to believe. I mean, what’s the take? Why a useless individual has to fly around half of the nations on the globe just because he happens to be the President of the country?

Being called as the First Citizen: - Please shoot the idiot who has come up with such stuff. What the hell is this ‘First Citizen’ nonsense? How come an average working individual who contributes towards the growth of the nation becomes a second or third or God knows what citizen in comparison to an absolute waste who never has contributed anything since his/her birth? Why I as a hardworking and law abiding citizen be treated anything less than what we are forced to treat someone who on any given day is as useful as my Tennis coach? I strongly object to someone being felicitated with the first citizen degree for doing absolutely nothing or worse for doing only crazy things while we, who slog like mules, for even to buy our underwear are treated less. This honorary designation becomes more annoying when you know very well about the person’s credentials; both morally and otherwise, which would not be anything beyond the level of an average street thug.

The Rashtrapati Bhavan: - Trust me; this is more bizarre than Sonu Nigam’s hairdo. In a country where the number of homeless is emerging as the second biggest concern after the repeated threat of Baba Ramdev to enter politics, someone putting up in a Manson sprawling across few acres of land and that too in the heart of the nation’s capital is like Rahul Gandhi addressing a bunch of sorry looking tribal with a mineral water bottle in hand. It is more frustrating to know, that it is we, the so called second citizens who sponsor for such luxury of an individual who doesn’t even qualify to be a peon on the scale of merits. Common tax payer’s money is wasted on the lavish lifestyle of a person who is supposed to do nothing, fly around the globe for no apparent reason, pretend to act like a statesman while a big time bootlicker in realty and address the nation on the eve of republic day or independence day if he/she has enough time left after gargantuan land grabbing. This is utter nonsense to have such huge modern day palaces with all five star facilities made available to the so called first citizens of the nation when a good 15% of the second citizens’ spend their entire lives, either under a flyover or railway stations. In a poor country like ours, why we have to invest in having working staffs of around three hundred to just do sundry jobs in the Rashtrapati Bhavan is a question which no one seems interested to answer. To even further mock our starving and half naked kids on the streets, we also have a lavish garden inside the palatal palace, just in case our worthless president decides to take an evening saunter. Least talked about the hundreds of crores spend in maintaining such extravagance is better. I am strongly against having outright garbage staying in government sponsored 1000 room homes when at the same time I see poor students studying on open fields due to the lack of school buildings or critically ill patients lying on the isles for the lack of beds in our hospitals.

Pratibha Patil: -She is someone who thoroughly convinced me that we in realty don’t need any such pathetic post in our political domain at all. Honestly, if there is someone whom I hate more than Sahid Afridi or may be Himesh Reshamiya, it has to be this lady. I am sure the main culprit in propelling the citizenry to lose whatever remaining faiths they had on an institution like the President of India; it is this lady who stands out among the lot. After looting a hell lot of cooperative banks back in her hometown this woman was entrusted upon us to make a joke of us on all international platforms and make a mockery of something called sensible thinking. While most of the previous Presidents were accused of doing nothing, this lady was rather very active but in an entire wrong direction. From taking along her extended family on foreign tours regularly to making Puran Poli to polish the taste buds of Sonia Gandhi, this lady was all over the place in insulting the term ‘First Citizen’. Not to contain in these qualities alone, she was one greedy president on whom even the greediest of Gujarati would take pride. The greed went so far that, this lady still being the President ended up grabbing few acres of defense land in Pune to build her post-retirement home, only to let it go when a hell lot of people from different walks of life pounced on her with some vengeance. History is only a proof, if such duffers are made the President of this nation again and again, time is not far when people would come out on the streets and pelt stones at random politicians.

Cow Could Be Funny Too

Published on: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 // Humor, Story

This is the essay on "Cow" which was (supposedly) written by some student
in the course of completing the "Indian Civil Services Examination" :-)

I bet you will enjoy this.

DJ
PS : There are no typos in this essay. Everything is legal and as it was
written in the exam.If you develop cramps reading this or find your
English gone haywire after reading this, please dont blame me :-)

___________________________________________________________________________

KOLKATTA's Telegraph has got hold of an answer paper of a candidate at the
recent UPSC examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian
cow:

"The cow is a successful animal. Also he is quadrupud, and because he is
female, he give milk,but will do so when he is got child.He is same like
God,sacred to Hindus and useful to man.But he has got four legs together.
Two are forward and two are afterwards.

"His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. What can it do?
Various ghee, butter,cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth.
Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.

"His motion is slow only because he is of asitudinious species. Also his
other motion is much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat cakes in
hand and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding
after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in
the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass.

"His only attacking and defending organ is the horn, specially so when he is
got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons
to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great
velocity forwards.

"He has got tails also, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the
other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which
alight on his cohoa body whereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not
crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts
his eyes like his relatives, the horse does not do so.

"This is the cow."

P.S.: We are informed that the candidate passed the exam.

Where Are The Men's Rights In India?

Published on: Monday, June 18, 2012 // India, Losers, Male, Nepotism, Public Interest

I don’t have any qualms if I am called Sexist, Male Chauvinist Pig, Narcissist or any similar sounding adjective for this piece of mine. First I care rat’s posterior for comments made against anything that I have a strong conviction and second there is absolutely no harm in standing up for the genuine rights of the group, community or even the gender to which one belongs.

That said, I will still urge the readers to not get prejudiced and conclude on the basis of their own assumption, without analyzing both sides of the coin and more precisely, what I want to convey here.

I am not at all against the welfare, development or the rights of the fairer sex but that doesn’t necessarily means I close my eyes on the virtually nonexistent rights of the males when compared or pitted against those are there for the females. I am not all against the protective umbrella that our women enjoy from the laws and guidelines that are formulated since they deserve that extra bit of cushion from the law makers so that their interest, life, future are safeguarded but that shouldn’t anyway make things look utterly one-sided affair once it is put head-on against their male counterparts.

Some wise head correctly said – ‘As long as you are not entangled with our police, courts and lawyers you won’t realize how pathetically one can land in a hopeless situation’. Here I want to add another possibility for Indian men; that is women. As an average man in this country one only needs to be that unlucky to land in a mess with a woman to realize how biased our laws are. I can assure you, the helplessness that you will feel when among our courts or police would appear negligible in comparison to what you will feel against a single woman; more so when the dispute is of domestic in nature. Yet again I am not against the specific laws that are largely women oriented as they should be since a majority chunk of our women are still oppressed, thanks to nonsenses like Khap and all but I am strongly against the very laws being misused so rampantly in urban areas. If someone disagrees here on the women laws are not being misused, then I am afraid this piece of write-up isn’t for you since you might be living in an entirely different India.

Let’s get down to the business of analyzing the law then. The thumb rule of formulating any rule is

· It should protect the interest of the oppressed and less powerful

· It should bring a social balance among the sections of the society

· It should have an unbiased approach towards the issue at hand with an holistic framework

· It should have checks-and-balances to stop the misuse of the same

Let’s see how far our women rights laws have achieved in addressing the basic necessities of law making listed above.

Protecting the interest of the Oppressed: Has it really? Need an honest answer after scrutinizing all the burning cases that we see on television or read in our newspapers on daily basis. If you ask me then, had it been successful even by a tenth of what it is been designed for, we would have achieved a paradigm shift on the state of our women by now. There are abundant instances of women getting tortured in the hands of their husbands and in-laws or even their own parents and siblings for no reason whatsoever. The number of dowry deaths reported daily might very well urge for the use of a calculator to take the count. And keep it in mind that we are talking of the situation a good three decades since we formulated such strong women oriented laws. So where is the effectiveness of the law here? If the Law has real teeth to set things straight at the grassroot level then how come it is time and again failing miserably to protect the interest of those millions of women who are tortured beyond anyone’s imagination in our villages or even in semi-urban areas? How in earth the law loses its veracity when it comes to its effectiveness in every nook-and-corner of our country? Why the law is not that approachable for a helpless women residing in a remote village of Uttar Pradesh, who gets beaten mercilessly for even sleeping half an hour more than she is allowed to? Why the law doesn’t act on the culprits of a Chhattisgarh tribal village for killing their daughter-in-law because she couldn’t bear a son? Where is the law in the villages of Haryana when they kill their own daughters for developing a liking towards someone of the same village?

Bringing a social balance: Has the law brought about a social balance in our society? Has the average woman of any village who works in the fields has become at par with her rights and exercising of the same with the woman of our metros who goes to a pub over the weekend? Where is the social balance when our women in villages are still refrained from deciding to whom even they should vote in the elections? Where is the balance when a majority of our women can’t even decide what they want from their lives or if they should venture out to the market to finish some household chores, without informing their husbands? Have the strong women rights brought all women cutting across cast, creed, social stature, religion or geographical location to level terms? So where is the social balance when a set of women can do whatever they like in their life and very rightly so while another set might just have to seek for permission to even address their nature calls? What is the social balance we are talking about?

Being unbiased itself: Now here the crux of my blog starts. Does anyone from the core of his/her heart believe the laws are unbiased in its entirety? The maturity of governance comes with credible actions against complains without wasting anytime than acting not only in haste but also taking the complaint on its face value and taking it for granted. While the norm is to have the grievance and its authenticity corroborated before acting against the culprit, in case of women laws it is always the other way round. The alleged accused (generally along with his family) is always invariably acted upon and thrown behind bars (most of the times) without anyone caring to figure out if the victim’s complain holds any water or not. This is even against the core ethics of our criminal justice system where it is emboldened – ‘Let a thousand of culprits go Scott Free but let’s not punish an innocent’. Where these lines written all over our courtrooms perishes when it comes to implementing women rights rules? How in earth once can guarantee the authenticity of the claims of the complainant without investigating the truth behind the screen? How the laws of a mature democracy can take someone’s words on face value, just because they belong to a particular gender or community? Even if we consider the female species are to be the real holy cows of the planet, still it can’t rule out the presence of few rotten entities that could go all over the place with all their fabricated grievances at the drop of a hat. Can someone guarantee the non-occurrence of such quelled behavior ever? If NO then why take a chance with having such biased laws which could so easily be sabotaged?

Stopping the misuse of it: I am sure the present sets of laws are misused to the fullest and I need no further conviction on it. More than the misuse, it is the nonuse of the laws that looks scarier. The women who really in desperate need of such laws to come to their rescue to elevate them from the inhumane torture and mental trauma they go through everyday are generally never seen exercising their rights while the nonsense brigade residing in our metros or elsewhere are seen benefitting tremendously by misusing the same rules more rampantly than Pakistan employ lies when it comes to terrorism. There are instances of domestic abuse FIRs getting filed just because the husband refused his wife going for a movie alone. A simple quarrel in the household are reported to the authorities as a case of mental and physical trauma at parallel with the dowry torture complain tucked along with it. The concerns of the honorable Kerala high court on the number of live-in relationships later being conveniently leveled as a case of rape against the male member is nothing but a proof how the rules are being misused by today’s generation women when they feel all advantages are taken out of a relationship. Even if we agree that a pious species like women won’t ever take wrong measures for personal gain, the law by design should contain enough avenues to stop itself from getting misused. Do our women laws have even one single such avenue within? I mean, literally a single clause which will deter anyone from filing false complains? Is there a clause to severely punish the complainant if the accusations were found to be fabricated later on? Is there any clause to safe guard the interest of accused in it? Shouldn’t the law be unforgiving to both the parties and treat both the parities cordially till found otherwise? What if the accused is actually innocent? What course the law will take against the complainant if it is found the accusation is because of the overzealous attitude of one party?

Not sure about many, but I have some firsthand observations of the laws being misused. I have seen guys along with their family members being put behind bars on the basis of false allegations made by their daughter-in-laws. While there are no answers to such atrocious action, just based on someone’s mere complain it is more disheartening to see the nonchalant behavior of our authorities towards the reparations the accused might face because of such actions. I am aware of at least one instance where a person has to lose his job, his image and family repute. His father committed suicide after coming out of the jail through bail; only to be unearthed later that the accusation was an entire pigment of imagination of the woman who filed it at the first place. A family stand devastated while the woman in question was only reprimanded by the courts for such behavior. Now I need someone to stand up and still claim the rules are not misused by today’s women.

Even if one wishes to brush the issue by claiming it to be one-off, he or she still can’t as the instances are not rare but plenty. The other day while returning after a nice dinner around midnight, I happen to see few girls in front of a pub putting on the kind of attires which I am sure even our movie personalities would have some reservation in putting in. There was a police raid and these girls wearing almost nothing were seen running for covers. Now imagine if their husbands dare to oppose such behavior of these girls in future. There goes a FIR for domestic violence and the man will find himself behind bars even before he can realize how a lightning strikes. Now please don’t term me playing the moral police card since pea brains and the pseudo moderns who think nudity as a sign of prosperity won’t realize till they see their own female members hooking around half nude or the scenario I mentioned is only imaginative since I am sure it has happened, is happening and will continue to happen.

I have seen women using the laws as an official weapon for blackmailing their in-laws to agree on their terms-and-conditions. Lakhs of rupees are bargained as alimony and maintenance by threatening with this law. Hapless families are seen selling their last penny to meet the demands since a simple complain might land them in jail for no apparent fault of theirs. The concern goes on and on.

In realty; while the idea of such draconian laws was to help the real needy and bringing a fear psychosis among the real culprits has failed miserably in achieving its goals, it is now being used by absolute idiots roaming on urban streets against their helpless and innocent husbands and in-laws so that their greed and that false sense of dejavu – ‘We are modern and prospering’ is satisfied.

P.S – No intention of projecting the female race as bad but just an attempt at showcasing the nasty truths that are been carried out on the pretext of being ultra-smart. Just a thought needed.

Letter Of A Presidential Aspirant

Published on: Friday, June 15, 2012 // Humor, India, Nepotism, Open Letter, Politicians, Politics, Public Interest

Dear All Parliamentarians,

Here I present myself as a Presidential aspirant and hope to become the President of this nation someday. Since to fulfill my aspiration I would require you guys to vote for me at some stage in next one month or so, I am here to put my case in front of you guys for your consideration. Let me elaborate few things first before you guys can start with all your questioning as that is what is your favorite pastime. Be it inside the well of the house where you keep on shouting, tearing apart each other’s hair or Kurta, hurling slippers and mikes or questioning the intent of all the good people once they start questioning your behavior and loot; it is all about questioning that engulfs half of your life span. Hence my proactive elaboration.

First thing that I can see popping up in your dirty minds is – “Why I Think I Can Be The President”? And I have two solid answers to that.

First – I fulfill all the prerequisites to be the President of this nation. I am 35 years old, a citizen by birth of this country and medically certified as mentally fit to take up the job. You may argue, I am educated which a major chunk of you are not but what the take? Nowhere it is mentioned, you need to be a dumbass Angutha-Chap to lead a political life in India. Though I like to have an education criterion for all our political positions since one requires to be a 10^th pass to even become a peon but strangely enough, outright jackasses like Lalu Yadav can still become the Prime-Minister of this nation without even knowing how a school looks like. I am sure had there been even a minimum 8^th grade pass requirement, half of you guys could well be singing ‘Pardesi, Pardesi, Jaana Nehin’ and begging on trains but that certainly is a dream which never going to get fulfilled and as is it is we Indians are traditionally unlucky from birth.

Anyway, that is a topic which needs a serious discussion of a dozen panelists presided by Arnav Goswami and I certainly can’t get extraneous in an important letter like this one. So without wasting further time, here is the second reason.

Second – Do I have to elaborate the second reason since a certain Pratibhal Patil could become the President for reasons even God is fiercely scratching his head to corroborate? I mean, do you guys still think you have the rights to ask this ‘WHY’ to anyone once you guys elected Mrs. Patil to the office of the President. Don’t you think anyone you chose from herein to honor the post next would be way better than the incumbent? I mean, seriously; absolutely anyone? Even Kresto Mukharjee (not Pranab) or for that matter even Jaadu of ‘Koi Milgaya’ or Dany Morrison. Hence to set the record straight – If Pratibha Patil can become the President then I certainly can, even when I am good 7 pegs down and giving a breath analyzer test to our ever vigilant traffic cops.

Now you guys can ask – ‘What is that you will gain by electing me’? Fair enough; I don’t have any qualms if you look at your personal gain even when you are suffering from constipation. I mean, pretty much everyone in this planet is self-centered and certainly I can expect cats to turn selfless someday but not the species to which you guys belong. Let me assure you, a delicacy in the form of an answer awaits you here.

But before that, I want to ask all of you a question as I believe a relative comparison helps zero in on the conclusion quicker. What you guys have gained by voting for Pratibha Patil or many other stalwarts like Giani Jayel Singh earlier? An ounce? Anything? Did even Pratibha Patil cared to look at you while boarding the flight for yet another of her public money raping foreign tour extravagance? Did she ever urge you to accompany her along with all her family members of last five generations on an all paid trip? She preferred to take bottlers and cooks along but not you guys. Forget about the material gains; did you guys gained anything politically even? I mean did people of your constituency go Gaga over your decision of voting her? Did you managed to gain the sympathy of a community which are already half of our population but yet are called minority? Did the Dalits stopped voting for Mayawati and opened their doors for you to stay in their huts overnight or take a bath from their ‘Rajiv Gandhi Gramin Bikash Yojna’ sponsored tube well?

So here is a proposition from me which not only assures some material gain for you greedy fellas but also a handful on the political front as well. First and foremost – A foreign trip for you and your entire family (extended), including your pets and buffalos, if you have them. And that too every year for the period I stay. So that is a good five time opportunity to screw the nation further if you feel you are not damaging enough by just being in politics. I also assure you of full cooperation every time Anna Hazare fasts against the black money you guys have stashed even inside your Dhotis. Being the President of the nation, I will officially declare people like Anna or that moustache man Arvind Kejriwal as traitors and corrupt themselves so that you guys are saved from your asses getting whipped ferociously by CBI or any of that nonsense. You can also take my word on cooperating you on your all kind of Mafiosi. I assure you of mercy even if you go ahead and do a Jalianwala Bagh again. But for this you have to keep an eye on my remaining tenure as our courts take a hell lot of time to deliver justice. I don’t want to be blamed at all because you end up below the noose as by the time your verdict is out I am already retired and enjoying my life in a multi crore government sponsored palatal home that I built up on the land that I grabbed.

There are enough political gains for you to have as well. For records I am a Dalit with at least one of my parents a Muslim and someone who hates BJP, their six year rule (which is the main culprit of all the problems of our nation like Kashmir, Quota, China border, fake Gandhis and Adnan Sami) and Ravishankar Prasad. So by choosing me you in turn would end up pleasing a hell lot of people. From Dalits to Muslims all would be ready to eat from your hands the moment you cast your vote and come out of the parliament sporting that trademark jackal smile of yours’. You may ask, what about the Hindus? But then, do you really feel the dumb Hindus need to be appeased for political mileage? Do they have the unity in their brotherhood for their community? Don’t you guys are aware that a half of the world’s secular population are from the Hindu Community alone? Then again, the half of the remaining half is full with pseudo seculars like Rajdeep Sardesai or Sagarika Ghosh or even that political Dalal Barkha Dutt. That leaves very few like Narendra Modi and a bunch from RSS or VHP who could vote against you. Does that look scary since they haven’t yet threatened your vote chunk after enormous attempts?

To further strengthen your vote chunk and highlight your pseudo secular avatar, I am readily agreeing to shower our beloved sons like Afzal Guru and Kasav with my mercy and commute their sentence to minimal jail term. That will allow you to induct them in your parties later and issue tickets for elections which will further authenticate your secular credentials.

I am sure by now you guys would be as excited as Shakti Kapoor when he sees women and must be drooling at all these mouthwatering prospects. Hope to see these drools turning as votes for me and I promise to abide by the statements I made through this letter. Don’t go by your own standards since unlike you politicians I keep my promises. Whatever I may be but I am not a liar, crook or thug or even a swine. So consider this a waterproof deal.

Sincere Regards

An aspirant.

The Irony Of Being Manmohan Singh

Published on: Tuesday, June 12, 2012 // Congress, Dirty Tricks, India, Losers, Manmohan Sing, Nepotism, Politics, Public Interest

At the onset; I really don’t agree with Team Anna when they say our Prime-Minister is corrupt. For me it is at least one silver lining on the engulfing dark UPA cloud is the clean image of the person who is pretending to lead a bunch of entities who on any given day can loot their own parents and children without a hint of remorse; let alone the nation and its citizens. At least there is one person among the lot in the ruling coalition, whom we can safely associate with various adjectives like lethargic, ineffective, useless, hopeless or for that matter even a headless chicken but not corrupt. I am not sure if he is not corrupt because of his strong moral or shy enough to come forward and loot himself amidst the notorious kind of thugs that fill his cabinet; but whatever the reason it may be he still is clean or at least comparatively clean (for his diehard critics).

Few days back a friend asked me, what would be the first thing I will do if I made the PM of this nation? I don’t know how but it came pretty spontaneously – ‘I will resign the next second if I am told to fill in Dr. Manmohan Singh’s shoes’. I am sure I can’t be an exception with the kind of reply that I delivered as I am quite confident there won’t be many who would fancy themselves in the position that is Dr. Singh currently in. I would be heavily surprised if I see mothers passionately dreaming their kids growing up to become the PM of this nation in future if the PM of the world’s largest democracy has to be the kind that Dr. Singh has molded or forced himself into. The repeated inaction or the missing intent on the part of our PM to catch the bull by the horns in matter related to corruption among his colleagues, national security, foreign policies, our economy or even social equality has made Dr. Singh the kind of PM that any democracy (even Pakistan) should be better off without. While the urge of the hour was for the PM being the CEO of the nation to stand up and take tough and uncomfortable decisions, Dr. Singh always invariably looked the other way and allowed the mess to pile up so much so that as a nation we now stink from every corner. What else one can term the enormous number of scams involving money laundering to the tune that nobody ever imagined is possible? How one can explain why the thugs who looted the nation so rampantly were never taken to task early but rather allowed to even settle down with their loot? How it can be digested that the PM himself was completely unaware of the loot till some media thrown open the can of worms? How one can tolerate the hogwash that been carried out on the apprehended scoundrels in the name of some shoddy investigation, the result of which is nothing but the highway robbers getting bail one after another so systematically?

Admitted, it is Manmohan Singh who is always blamed for the fault of his cabinet; admitted, it is Dr. Singh who having no hand in the pan-India loot but yet questioned of his own ethics and moral; admitted it is the PM who always was kept in the firing line for mistakes done by others but shouldn’t it be that way? Shouldn’t the nation be unforgiving towards individuals or institutions if they commit hara-kiri which at the end of the day affects the nation at large? Shouldn’t Dr. Singh be blamed, for he being the PM and yet allowing the mess to pile up right under his nose. Shouldn’t he be questioned for his inaction against the corrupt even after repeated urge of the nation? Shouldn’t he be held responsible and accountable for all the wrong meted out to the citizenry by his own ministers while he himself remained oblivious of the state of affairs by design?

A close inspection of Manmohan Singh of last eight years would give you jitters if you are a strong believer in democracy. For him all that he is not ordered to look at or talk about cease to exist. Be it corruption or nepotism or even issues of burning importance, it is always has to be ordered by his high-command before he takes a stock of the situation. For him arrogance of his own men and highhandedness of few like Kapil Sibal or Digvijay Singh doesn’t matter. Establishing an international political clout doesn’t hold much importance for him. The savaged state of our healthcare or our education system is a non-issue for him. Falling standard of governance and rampant corruption in every stage of our government never bothered him. Art and culture going haywire has never featured in his list of agendas. Sabotage of fundamental rights and freedom of expression has never let him lose his sleep. Our investments getting into a situation of naught is not of that importance. Food prices already going through our roofs is something which is exaggerated by useless people like us. Frog leap growth of our neighbor China in comparison to us is never alarming to him. In fact all that hampers the growth of the nation are non-important issue for him. The odd times we saw him getting involved are issues concerning foreign policies and that too which involves trade and commerce. Even in that sector we are struggling to stand tall as our economy is already nose diving at an alarming rate. An economist PM who once was been hailed as a man with some courageous vision is now struggling not only to hold his own government together but also our rapidly thinning out economy.

Time and again our prime-Minister has failed the nation and himself in last nine years. Whether it is because of his lack of leadership qualities or he being told to behave like a lackluster leader; it always has been a pain for the populace to see their PM all dressed up with a neatly tucked turban and going absolutely nowhere. Be it his style and authority of governance or his confidence in coming before the nation to discuss the issues or put his viewpoints forward, it always has been lot to be desired. It is always been a shocker for the nation to observe the dismal amount of clout he enjoys among his own ministers or the amount of respect he commands from his subordinates. Time and again he has been taken granted by one and all on issues where he himself has clarified the nation earlier. Be it the promise he made to Anna Hazare on bringing a Strong Lokpal bill in 100 days or the absolute cleansing work with 100 days or even that promise of setting right the inflation within three months; his words were always been dumped to dustbin by his own men. Little talked about that ‘We Care Damn’ about our cabinet head and the grossly unacceptable nonchalant behavior of the UPA members towards what their boss has to say is better. Time and again it is people like Rahul Gandhi having no substance, quality, qualification or standard have dictated their terms on him and arm-twisted him to agree on an entire reverse direction to what he has promised to the nation half an hour back. He is time and again humiliated and was forced to eat his own words since it would have heart the personal interest of few, had it been the other way. The nation can go to hell for all that anything matters. In nutshell - Our PM is a puppet in the hands of how many even God might not be aware of.

That said I can’t blame Dr. Singh entirely. A Television set doesn’t play the channel of its choice by its own but what you press on the remote to view. A TV set can’t act, react or even oppose even if you wish to view porn movies on it, though it is an utterly filthy thing to do. A TV set doesn’t show emotions if you press the mute button since you feel it is making too much noise for comfort. For me our PM is nothing better than a Television set, if not worse. A kind of TV set which is installed specifically and intentionally by few so that he can be used as a rubberstamp before the world. He is made dumb, deaf and powerless by design so that he can easily be blamed for anything and everything and most important, can be dumped in the nearest gutter when time comes without any objection whatsoever. He is fabricated to look the other way for every loot that is accomplished so that the real power centers can fill their black money accounts elsewhere. In nutshell, he is ordered to act like a retard all the time with exceptions when he is told to open his mouth announce his innocence and lack of knowledge when the corrupts are in the dock.

Truly; Being a Manmohan Singh could easily be the toughest job in the world since you are not only expected to behave like Ghajni all the time but also your acting skills need to look tremendously natural to even shame the likes of Nana Patekar. I feel pity on Dr. Singh than being angry or worried. God help the poor fellow.

The Jagan Thorn In Congress Flesh

Published on: Monday, June 11, 2012 // Congress, Corruption, Politics, Public Interest, Touts

Y.S.R Reddy was a holy cow. No? Well at least till he was with the Congress and quite generously and faithfully sharing his loot with his bosses in Delhi. While a handful could still be skeptical on my first statement, the behavior of Congress as a party pre and post YSR’s death is anything but evident of their attitude towards dumping their own and their close syndicates in crime once they either become useless like N. D. Tiwari or dead like YSR. History is a proof that Congress always remained like the river Ganges where all the scoundrels and thugs become pious as long as they remain loyal to their high-command, which invariably always was the Gandhi family and remain important for them to garner money and win them elections.

Let’s remember the days when YSR was alive and have won them the election in Andhra Pradesh the second time in a row. He was a darling for everyone, which also includes the big mouth national spokespersons (read mental torture during Prime-Time) of the Congress party. From ‘Nostril Queen’ Jayanthi Natarajan to ‘I Love Vomiting Shit’ Manish Tiwari; all seems to be big fans of YSR, his leadership, his governance, his attitude, his looks, his Lungi, his toothbrush… well almost everything of his, including his hypothetical clean image. A hell lot of time was wasted on news channels with these spokespersons turned rabid mongrels of Congress kept on biting other panelist and at times even the host to justify how Mahatma Gandhi; had he been alive now would have cried emotionally after seeing YSR Reddy’s honest Avatar. Finest among the bunch were the likes of Renuka Choudhury who behaved as if they are fighting a World War, every time someone questioned the ethics of YSR as a chief minister of the state. Even though she herself lost her Loksabha seat from Khammam quite pathetically, I have heard her numerous times swearing on the name of YSR’s popularity among Andhra people. Though listening to a lecture on popularity from someone who is as popular as Shahrukh Khan among US immigration officials, I still remember her using the longest “HELLO” that I ever heard or possibly one can speak while defending a great ambassador of ethics and honesty like Y. S. R Reddy. While her own popularity among her own constituency people in Khammam is lot to be desired, Renuka Choudhury was always ready with an assault rifle to defend this great soul. Even the confidence level of the high-command on YSR and his looting skills were so optimistic that they never even bothered to send Rahul Gandhi to campaign in the state. Quite unlikely of the Congress once they with open arms for a change decided to share the limelight with someone out of The Gandhi family, when after the counting they ceremoniously admitted the win is because of YSR alone, without uttering even Rahul of the name Rahul Gandhi in an entire two hour long press conference. An entire two hour long press meet and the Congress sycophants not uttering the name of Rahul Gandhi was an instance which I always considered as unlikely as Mohammad Azharuddin not uttering the word ‘BOYS’ in a post-match presentation interview. So much was the love of Congress and its stooges for Y. S. R Reddy.

Now just look at the way the love and affection has crashed quicker than the Swayambar marriage of Rakhi Shawant. After the tragic demise of YSR the Congress, the same set of spokespersons and the high-command are up in arms in defaming their once blue eyed boy and his family. Post the death of YSR; it was Jagan who was eyeing the chief-ministerial post as if we are not a democracy but still being ruled by kings and queens. As bizarre were Jagan’s expectations to get the post still being a novice and nonsense to a large extent, it was equally bizarre for Congress to behave the way they behaved back then. In a tussle to grab power they slammed the door on Jagan’s face and installed someone else (whom nobody knows) as the person to take over the reins from the dead leader. Even though the demands of Jagan to be sworn-in as the next chief-minister was funny to start with it was equally funny on the part of the Congress to display their compulsion in having Jagan at the helm on experience ground since they are the same party which installed a certain Rajiv Gandhi as the prime-minister of the nation, plucking him straight from the cockpit. If Rajiv can be the PM of the nation without any credible experience then why can’t Jagan be the CM could have been a great debate which our paid and biased media never tried to organize.

As expected Jagan stuck to his own set of demands and ran away from Congress with few loyal of his father and formed yet another party called YSR Congress. The Congress clowns like Kapil Sibal or Digvijay Sing can still live in abjuration but it was certainly a jolt to the Congress party in a state which can easily go to TDP on any given day. Hence to counter the Jagan phenomenon the dirty tricks department of Congress worked overtime to malign the image of their own leader so that the power hungry leeches don’t have to shed away their power in the state. As a starter their once loving boy YSR was termed as an outright corrupt and thug of highest quality which later duly been corroborated by the same colony of filthy spokespersons of the party on the very news channels where they once threatened the panelist with Kalashnikovs for claiming the same stuff about YSR. To make the matter filthier, few ex confidants of YSR were brought in front of all to elaborate the modus-operandi of YSR during his days to accommodate corruption and loot in his governance. The whole idea was to malign the YSR family so much so that Jagan is stopped from gaining heights of some dangerous proportion. Just when the Congress sycophants thought they achieved their nefarious goal, Jagan and his newly formed party won three out of four by-elections. No wonder that prompted Congress to play their trump card in the form of CBI to come forward and bark on behalf of them with various threats like slapping disproportionate asset accusations. Rest as they say is history as we now find Jagan behind bars for crime best known to none till at least 25^th of this month.

Now here the question arises – Can we depend on a party to deliver good governance when they don’t even think for a second to hamper their own people when they are threatened against their greed of power? Can we expect a loyal and honest service from them towards the nation when they they are not even loyal to their own people? I have no love for Jagan or his late father since had YSR been alive till now half of Andhra Pradesh could have easily gone to their pockets a good couple of years back. Had YSR been alive, a third of state’s money would have gone to YSR bank already. Here the question is not if YSR was corrupt or not. Even the street dogs of Hyderabad know YSR was a crook and a high quality thug but that doesn’t exonerate the Congress party from the crime. I would be surprised if someone believes YSR was not sharing the loot with Congress from top-to-bottom. I would be equally surprised if it is claimed the Congress high-command was never aware of the rampant loot that was going around. It would be hilarious if it is told the Congress as a party was never aware of the daylight robbery that YSR was engaged with from dawn to dust. And for sure, it would be criminal if the Congress claim they were never aware of the real YSR which they seem like unearthing out of nowhere and all of a sudden once he is dead. If Jagan and his father are buffoons then the chaps claiming themselves the synonym of Dettol are no better either.

Hope, the people of Andhra Pradesh realize the real chameleons those who are not only ruling them but also have the audacity to cheat them so blatantly by pretending themselves to be as innocent as Buddhist monks. No matter what, the biggest lesson that the citizens can teach these double standard scoundrel politicians is through ballot and I pray the teaching becomes an eye opener for many; the next time Andhra Pradesh goes on to elect their next Government.

The Potty Makers

Published on: Friday, June 8, 2012 // Congress, Corruption, India, Jokers, Nepotism, Public Interest, Touts

I am again proved, I am pathetic in mathematics. I mean, how I can’t understand the logic for last 24 hours which big brains like Montek Sing Ahluwallia are so convinced with? When the so called planning commission justifies their act of renovating their loos in the office premises by a whopping 35 Lakhs, it is only appropriate for outright idiots like me and many others to visualize the foresight of the planning commission than criticizing their attempt at bringing the idiom “People’s Money Down the Drain” to some realty. It is my bad only that I can’t see the conviction within the same planning commission who thought a daily income of more than Rs 28/- per day makes you rich have the balls to spend such an amount for a cause that has pissed off many, well before Mr. Ahluwalliah could pull down his zip and carry out the act in literal sense inside the mega toilets. Heavens!! As per their conclusion, the amount spend on building those two loos could have helped a person in India to survive for 274 years or a family of five for 57 years at least.

Now here is the thing. But before that – ‘How does a Rs 35 Lakh loo looks like?’ Must have that aesthetic look which even would pop-up the urge within you to pee, even if you have just finished a marathon across Sahara Desert. No? While criticisms are coming from all quarters, I rather would love to elaborate on an entire different direction. First and foremost I like to congratulate the planning commission for possessing such an audacity to even think of wasting so much money for their shit work. The audacity becomes more laudable when we have a large chunk in our country who can’t afford a square meal per day, our economy has all but gone to dogs, corruption has broken all records and last but not the least – when the government is advocating for austerity measures as part of their standard jingoism and hogwash. That said I feel there is a close linkup between government austerity measures and people going berserk in India. The last time the government took up any such step, a well-educated minister with a perfect hairdo tweeted something so crazy that it cost him his job since many felt by elaborating the average Indian as part of the cattle class the minister has jumped the sacred line by a foot or so. This time when the government thought of introducing some austerity measures for reasons best known to them only, the chairman of the planning commission not only wasted Rs 35/- lakh on the toilets but also went ahead defending his act like a seasoned Congress politician.

On a serious note, here the issue is not with the amount spend in building up those two loos but the attitude of the people in position and power and their apathy towards the average citizens of the nation. A government spending few lakhs on frivolous stuffs wouldn’t have bothered anyone had there been some accountability of the government in other ways. While our able politicians are looting us in thousands of crores or we spending four thousand rupees per toilet roll, a mere spending of some lakhs shouldn’t have worried anyone, provided people have reposted their faith on the government, governance and people those call the shots. But call it an irony or our misfortune that we now have a government installed at the center which has taken the nation in backward direction on every front. Be it economy or development index. Or be it cultural growth or since & innovation, healthcare, education or even international diplomacy; we are now languishing behind the worst third world nations in the same period of last three years. In a time when the inflation has hit the populace on the head and coupled with it the exponential increase of fuel price in last year or so, an attempt at making a mockery of the citizens by constructing lavish toilets is what seems to have annoyed many. To annoy further it is none other than the planning commission head who has to stand up before the media and defend the decision of such money assassination.

And look at what been thrown at us for a defense. In an office where foreign dignitaries visit us on daily basis, we need to have good toilets. Not the toilets that stink 24/7 with water leaking from every porous available. Agreed; but shouldn’t we have first set right more pertinent issues that are chasing away the foreign investors than stinking toilets? I mean is it the toilets that are a deterrent for FDI to flow in to our country? Aren’t the foreign investors more concerned for the government policies than a leaking wash basin in planning commission office? Rather installing photoelectric controlled commode shouldn’t we have looked at our unethical attempt at snatching eleven thousand crores from Vodafone in the name of federal tax? Shouldn’t we have introspected our decision of introducing new corporate tax ladder on retro basis to satisfy our ego which was massacred badly by our Supreme Court in Vodafone case than having climate controlled hand showers? Have we really cared if the stinking toilets in the planning commission are scary for the foreign investors or our lackluster, pathetic and visionless decision making policies are?

Most irritating in the whole farce is again the arrogance of our government in considering themselves as the ones who possess some brain while we rest are mentally retard to believe their story of stinking toilets as the root cause of a depleted economy. Mr. Ahluwallia, you are right if you think the stink is a hindrance in our growth but it is not the stink emanating from the toilets of your office but the stink that is effervescing from everywhere because of the corruption, scam and nepotism that is so rampant in our governance. It is the scoundrels and thugs that our government is endorsing with open arms which is scaring the investors from investing their hard earned money here than the compulsion of controlling their pee till they reach their posh hotel washrooms. For once Mr. Ahluwallia, I will urge you to drop the notion of you being extremely brilliant while we lesser mortals are fools of worst kind. We may not be economists of your stature but we do certainly understand with a help from our commonsense that for an investor it is the conducive environment that he or she will get to do his or her business is more important than where he or she would pee when he or she is in your office. Isn't it?

By the way, looking at the whopping amount of money they have spent in coming up with those two toilets I am at sea to see the Congress not yet dedicating the endeavor to someone from the Gandhi family. Or maybe they are struggling to come up with an appropriate name. How about ‘Rajiv Gandhi National Sandash Yojna’? Gotcha!!

How Far We Can Tolerate The Corrupt?

Published on: Wednesday, June 6, 2012 // Anna Hazare, Corruption, India, Nepotism, Politicians, Public Interest, Touts

Now this is a long gap. I mean real long when you don’t turn back to your blog for a good part of last fortnight, throwing that typical Indian politician attitude of not visiting their constituency post the voting day till the next election dates are announced in five years’ time. Even though I can furnish a lot many excuses, the real reason of my apathy towards my blog and a handful of regular readers that I have is my work. No; don’t mislead yourself that I have started working; it is just that unholy call of the duty where I was forced to come to Bangalore for few months on an assignment. After a struggle of two weeks to negotiate myself with the Bangalore traffic, food, people who believe there is only one language in the world that need to be grasped is Kannada and of course the non-existing roads and copious potholes; I am from God’s grace still alive, kicking and able enough to jolt down something.

As a starter, Bangalore roads have reminded me at least one thing. The number of corrupts that we have in every sphere of our governance, policy making and delivery to the nation. From Shastri Bhawan to the local Gram Panchayat office, it is only filled with corrupts of various level, magnitude and size. If there is a certain A. raja or Suresh Kalmadi in the sports ministry, be rest assured there is always a counterpart called Ram Sing or Haridas Gupta in the Panchayat office to loot the money from Rajeev Gandhi Gramin Sadak Yojna. Corrupts rule the roost from inside-out with an equal amount of rascals felicitating their loot and making sure the highway robbers are never acted upon. In a massive nexus between the corrupt and their bosses, the nation has long plunged into a state where expecting a non-corrupt official is as bizarre as hoping Aakar Patel to talk sensibly someday. Horrendous as it may sound but there seems to be a strong relationship between our nose diving economy and the corrupt that we are grooming in our country.

But I am not here to talk about the corrupt since half of the world is pretty much doing that and I don’t want to join that bandwagon. I am rather here to talk about us. We the people or so called the rest of India who either is comparatively less corrupt or clean to some extent. I am here to talk on how we have got used to the massive daylight robbery that is going on for decades together. I am here to talk about how we have easily allowed the corrupt and thugs be one among ourselves in social circle without any objection or revolt. I am here to talk on how we have directly or indirectly patronized a large set of buffoons to not only loot us but also to stand beside us without any trace of shame or repentance the very next moment they looted us. I am here to talk about our collective attitude of taking it very lightly on the kind of society that we are building up for the generations to come by allowing scoundrels roaming around among us. I am here to talk about the easy go attitude of ours to allow few idiots to hijack the national interest and treat the government and its policies as a milch cow while we remain in oblivion and busy with petty issues all around. I am here to talk how it is only we who should squarely be blamed for the situation that we are in. I am here to ask all to give ideas on how to save our face when our upcoming generation will ask uncomfortable questions once we handover an outright rotten and depleted society to them in future.

Why we are so nonchalant about the state of affairs? How in earth we are so tolerant towards thugs and looters? History is only a testimony to the fact that all societies across the globe which ever claimed themselves to be responsible have got one thing in common. They act against the wrong and shout their voices for all that is not good for the nation, the society or the future of an entire generation. On those criteria, are we a responsible society? Have we ever shouted with conviction against the corrupt and their nefarious dealings? Have we as a nation gone to the streets to protest against few rascals who treat the nation as a personal property? Have we as individuals ever shown our displeasure towards any corrupt individual? Perhaps not. Not because we are any less concerned about the wrong been meted out to us for decades but because we get used to the situation without giving a fight. It is only because for our attitude of callousness that the governments we choose tenure after tenure conveniently look the other way and keep on looting us further.

How many of us have their blood boil by the mere mention of A. Raja or Suresh Kalmadi now? Perhaps a handful. While we were all over the place when the scams were unearthed with our displeasure, we seem to have forgotten if something called 2G scam ever happened. While we shouted from the roof top when shit and mud was thrown at us for the utter mess during CWG, we now have forgotten a certain Suresh Kalmadi and his unpardonable attempt at maligning our nation’s reputation on international forums. We in a collective effort blew a lot of hot air when these scoundrels were first unearthed but now looks like we have forgotten the bitter past that people like A. Raja and many more carry. The classic example of our easy go attitude towards all the wrong is the thinning out presence at Anna Hazare rallies of late. While we should have been more aggressive with our protest after looking at the repeated attempt of a democratically elected government to hoodwink and cheat an entire nation, we have conveniently taken their dishonesty in our stride and gradually have started to accept the thugs. No wonder hence why could all the scoundrels managed to get bail one after another in a systematic manner. The bitter truth is - while the robbers go to their banks laughing, we the looted are getting cozier with the state of affairs and the complete lack of accountability within our elected government. This ground realty is in fact scarier than the enormous number of thugs those surround us.

So before blaming the government of their intention and their complete lack of interest in bringing the culprits to task, it is we all who should rather blame ourselves and introspect. You get the government that you deserve and to be honest what we have got as the output of the world’s largest democracy is just befitting to our collective lethargic psyche. Hope we have reached to the bottom in terms of tolerance and pray we can only improve from here on since the situation is getting more suffocating by the hours. It is not the idea of capsizing which is scary but the vision of staying alive on a life raft and drifting alone to alienation. Wake up India. It could just be – “Now Or Never”.

Being Cynical�

Calling a spade, a spade