Being Cynical™: July 2012

Revisiting The Godhra Carnage

Published on: Monday, July 30, 2012 // Appeasement, Congress, Dirty Tricks, Gujurat riots, India, Narendra Modi, Politics, Public Interest

Now here is the thing. Imagine you travelling with your family in a train. It is mid of the night and all in the bogie are deep in their sleep. The train makes a routine stop at a small town. A group of fanatics geared with all assault weapons lock the bogie from outside and pour enough petrol to bring about a petrol crisis in the city. Then they go ahead torching the petrol soaked compartment without caring for who are inside and what will happen to them. You only wake up when the fire has engulfed half of the bogie and find everyone shouting for their lives but can’t go out because of the lock. You try to save your kids by any means and even try to break open a window but fail. In desperation you look outside for help but only see a bunch of bastard merrymaking and dancing on their latest achievement. You pled for mercy but that encourages the scoundrels to dance more vulgarly. You can’t take it anymore. You feel the hot molten alumina pouring on your body. You see your kids suffocating to death in front of you. Finally the fire takes the better of your struggle and you die a bizarre and painful death as the rest of the bogie.

How would you feel? Hang on!! You can’t feel anything since you are dead. How would your loved ones, your near and dear ones would feel? How would your brethren feel seeing you and many like you been subjected to such inhuman torture and finally getting killed? How the government of the day would feel since it failed miserably in protecting you, which is its primary duty?

The scenario is really bad. Really, really bad. A scenario where you won’t even fancy your worst of enemies to be in. No? But horrifyingly enough, this is what precisely happened on the fateful day of 27^th February 2002. At a small junction on the Ahemadabad – Gandhinagar rout called Godhra a bunch of Muslims, backed by nefarious entities both from political and otherwise sections, poured petrol on the S-6 bogie of the Savarmati Express and set it afire for reasons best known to them. 58 Kar Sevaks were charred alive, among which there was a large constituent of women and children. The repercussions of that horrifying act we are still witnessing. A lot many lives lost in the ethnic rioting that followed. Narendra Modi turned an avenger for many while a desperado for few others overnight. A peaceful state of businessmen and traders turned into a political hot potato forever. All-in-all an event which changed the perception of how one should deal with any kind of ethnic clashes; an event which brought about international scrutiny. From Time magazine to our own India today carried the story on their centerspread while a perpetual battleground is created for BJP and Congress to keep on fighting as and when they feel like to garner few brownie points.

Among all the dead and the chaos; among all the public display of moral superiority and pseudo secularism, one thing that is completely forgotten is the incident which started this chain reaction. The Godhra carnage itself. While many jokers who claim themselves to be so called seculars kept on shedding crocodile tears for the victims of the riot that followed, the convenience shown in brushing the Godhra train burning episode under the carpet, as if a non-issue is little annoying. By design the root cause of this massive inhuman act that followed the Godhra episode was forgotten quicker than even the time taken for the charred out bogie to cool down for the dead bodies to be taken out. All that we hear since then is how the riot that spread like a wild fire and eventually killed more than 1200 humans before it is over. All that we hear is how Narendra Modi turned his eye on the mayhem and allowed the mob to carry out some street justice. All that we hear is the weeping of the Congress party men for a farce as if the 1984 Sikh massacre never happened. All that we see is pseudo seculars and vulture NGOs baking their bread on the dead of the riot for last ten years. All that we see is the dirty votebank politics that is going on and on without any shred of evidence of it ending anytime soon.

Though the riot itself as an act is condemnable, for me the question always remained – how so easily the death of 58 Kar Sevaks was forgotten. How in earth in a country full with majority Hindus, the inhuman and unethical killing of Hindus is such a non-issue? Are the dead of that night doesn’t have any rights? Are their lives so worthless that we as a nation will forget it so easily? Is the human rights are never a concern for those 58 unfortunate humans who had to die so barbarically? Don’t we as a nation have the moral obligation to sought answer for such inhuman killings? Questions are literally many but ironically answers are few or rather nonexistent.

By design the citizenry of the nation were made to forget the horrific incident of Godhra. All that they were shown time and again are the dead of the riot and their plight while the cause that started was forgotten. Nasty votebank politics brought about a paradigm shift on sensible thinking and nation building. The Congress party and many of its pathetic allies in collaboration with their long list of paid media houses tried to feed the nation with false propaganda of neutral journalism. Time and again it is the media which went ballistic on the issue of Gujarat riot while no one spared a second to even mention the unknown dead of Godhra, let alone asking for justice for them. People like Rajdeep Sardesai, Barkha Dutt kept on shoving their nefarious pseudo secular avatar into the mainstream by airing fabricated documentary for hours together on the instruction of their pay masters in North block. People went all over the place on every anniversary to dig out the so called riot survivors so that yet another farce can be built up to malign Narendra Modi.

Where is the same concern for the dead Kar Sevaks? Aren’t they the citizens of this great nation with all their fundamental rights intact, which also includes the right to live? So why no media does a cover story to hear the plight of their side, which they very well do for even those who were barely injured during the riot. Why people like Teesta Setelvad were intentionally kept barking on the human rights of the riot victims as if Hindus doesn’t have any. Why I don’t see any NGO fighting for the justice for those who were charred alive. Why it is Ehshan Jafri that always takes the center stage when we talk about Gujarat riots while the dead Hindus still remain nameless and faceless?

Nobody should get me wrong here. As I have already said in another blog of mine, I am no advocate of violence. For me even one life lost is one life lost too many. But the manner in which the death of 58 innocents brushed aside hurts. It hurts because I feel justice is not done to them till yet. Forget about justice, no one is even thinking of taking a step or two to analyze their deaths for starters. All that we are hearing for last ten years is a crescendo of cry for justice to the riots victims but not a single one for the Kar Sevaks. It hurts that our government which should have been equal to all is all but busy playing the dirty votebank politics and full time engaged in appeasement as if the 58 of Savarmati Express carry no value. It hurts because we have turned into an indifferent society where we are setting different rules for different set of people as per our convenience. It hurts because our fourth estate rather being neutral and justice oriented has turned sycophants and sold themselves to dirty politics so that easy money can be earned. It hurts in the name of secularism we have misunderstood (intentionally) the word itself for appeasement and pampering. It hurts because it is always the justice for a certain section of the society is the agenda; not for all. It hurts because we as a nation are playing Ostrich and have become oblivious to the plight of the other section.

And finally it hurts because I am a Hindu.

Assam Violence – A Direct Fallout Of Votebank Politics

Published on: Wednesday, July 25, 2012 // Appeasement, Congress, Dirty Tricks, Govt, India, Nepotism, Politicians, Politics, Public Interest, Vote Bank

Tarun Gagoi has missed the plot by a galaxy distance. Or maybe more. Repeated instances of violence erupting in the state, resulting in loss of life and valuable, only shows the incompetency of the chief minister. It even becomes more critical as he also unfortunately happens to be the home minister of the state as well. The latest ethnic violence that is rapidly engulfing the north-west part of the state is yet another example of the failure of the state machinery in controlling the mob since everyone was quite aware of the brewing unrest for a long time and still no action was taken to nip it in the bud. More than a lakh and half of people are already displaced and taking shelter in makeshift refugee camps, already 38 people (till last reports received) have lost their lives and around 25000 passengers strangled at various places of the state are few parameters to judge the scale of the calamity which is rapidly turning into the largest humanitarian crisis in our country since independence.

If sources are to be believed then everyone including the police chiefs were aware of the deteriorating situation from July 5^th. The worsening situation by the hours was aware to Tarun Gagoi as being the home minister. Yet no steps were taken to pacify the situation and the people in power conveniently slept over it as if it is a non-issue. Now from Kokrajhar to Sirang, half of Assam is up in flames with every possibility of it spreading to the remaining half sooner than later. While it was well within limits to control it by using the state machinery alone, the politicians and law-and-order protectors looked the other way and let the situation gravitate to a level that 20000 odd army personnel needed to be called in to control the situation. And what we got to hear from the chief minister on this? ‘The government of the state shouldn’t be blamed’. This statement not only shows the CM is still as much concerned as he was to begin with but also the insensitive and idiotic attitude towards all those innocents who quite unnecessarily have to lose their lives. But the real scary part of the statement is the lack of conviction in controlling the situation and an outright clueless approach on the issue at hand, which doesn’t give much confidence that such unfortunate incidents are not going to repeat in future, and a very near one at that. In nutshell when his own state is up in flames, this idiot is running all around the place convincing people, his high command and media of his innocence than taking steps to stop it.

That said can we really blame Tarun Gagoi entirely for this mess? I mean, could he really have avoided such situation to arise all of his own? Even though a big association of him in letting this chaos to galvanize can’t be ruled out, yet still he can’t be blamed for everything.

Here is the thing. The first reportage of the clash came in the form of a very surprising official statement. It read – ‘There is an ethnic clash between the indigenous tribal and settled Muslims’. The crux of the nuisance seems to lie in the very official statement that is released to the media. The first question that arises from it is, what is this settled Muslims nonsense is all about and how you can define one to be that? If you say the phrase is self-explanatory in nature as it means the Muslims not native to that place but migrated there to settle then isn’t every Muslim in India falls to that category? Aren’t the Muslims of Gujarat also are settled Muslims then? We in India never had Muslims as its original constituent. All of them have migrated and settled here. Didn’t they? Why so specific about the Muslims of Assam then? Or is there more to it than just a statement? Though the gray heads issuing such statements are not quite aware of the veracity of the statement they are delivering, it still remains something which should deeply be analyzed. Though it can be termed as an innocent mistake and rectified later, as they did with this statement as well, yet the underneath truth shouldn’t be brushed under the carpet.

The truth is, when it comes to Assam, we have a healthy 30% of the population as Muslim. And most of them are migrants and that too illegal. Here the word migrant has some literal meaning because they are the refugees from Bangladesh who keep on crowding the state every day. The porous and unprotected border line with Bangladesh is not helping the cause either. Even the attempt of Vajpayee government to seal the border by fencing didn’t materialize fully because of a hostile terrain that contains rivers and rare forest land. Though it still could have been done in some manner, the succeeding government of UPA just didn’t heed into this matter of national security and concern. For reasons best known to the big mouths of Congress the activities of fencing were abruptly stopped once they took over in 2004. This lead to a mammoth 600 odd kilometer of border line that still is not fenced nor monitored the way it should be. Random cattle traders, timber traders and other petty criminals keep on switching sides as per their convenience. The movement on this unmanned international border is so rampant that it has become a route to heaven for many narcotics traders. Since we have become too vigilant at our borders with Pakistan, we even can’t rule out this passage being turned into a safe gateway for Jehadis to infiltrate into our country. Lakhs of Bangladeshi migrate to our country every year without any objection and settle on the tribal Bodo lands disguised as natives.

Now the question is – What the government is doing to stop this? And the answer is nothing. The government is doing nothing, not because there is a lack of avenues, fund or manpower but because they don’t want to. Free entry to outsiders in Assam hence is more out of design than compulsion. The Congress party which seems head-over-heels in patronizing these immigrants to the hilt doesn’t stop at that. Rather coming on them with heavy hands these guys embrace them with motherly affection. They are issued with ration card, voter ID and even BPL card in due course of time. In a matter of couple of years, the Congress in connivance with few sycophants turned NGOs work overtime in transforming these bloody refugees as our own citizens. And this systematic approach at sabotaging our national integrity is going on for decades together. There are even instances of refugees standing for election on the basis of the official documents supplied to them. These migrants who have swelled exponentially in last decade or so, even now are in majority in many tribal parts of Assam. And these are the same rascals who time and again show their original color by pouncing on the innocent native citizens in the name of their bloody religion. Even though it is not that big a worry, worrisome is the behavior of our government every time such untoward incident happen, which at best in a civilized way can be termed as ‘Ostrich like attitude’.

Now one wonders; why all this? How come a responsible government can allow this to happen? The long answer to the question is Vote bank and the short answer is Vote bank as well. There seems a close association of dirty vote bank politics in the region for things to go out of hands. The migrants are in full knowledge of the central government and the powers that be. Rather throwing them out for illegal entry, they are rather nurtured and gracefully welcomed with goodies so that they turn into potential vote banks in the future; or even present. Lakhs of voter cards are issued to random duffers without realizing the consequences in the long run. And the consequences of such overzealous act are there for all to see. Even the migrants are at times encouraged to take the law in their own hands. A classic example of indifference on the part of our government is when the issue of Chakma refugees hit the headlines. A bunch of migrated scumbags created mayhem among the locals only to instigate an ethnic conflict. The then Assam as well as the central government allowed it to carry on for ages till at least a good six dozen died. And what was the response to such criminal act – Rather throwing the rascals out of this country they rather were allowed to settle down with all state honor while our own men were told to lick their own wounds. All because of the vote bank that a golden opportunity to set things on track was squandered. Had we been harsh in dealing with the Chakma refugees back then, I am sure the fifty that died during 2008 or the 38 that are dead now wouldn’t have lost their lives.

I am not sure what could be the solution to this. Whatever the solution could be but for sure it can’t be one directional or for that matter even two directional. There has to be a three way cooperation between New Delhi – Guwahati – Dhaka for things to improve. But before that there need to have a strong intent for fixing things once-and-for-all. Does any stake holder have that intent? Not sure about Dhaka but for sure I don’t see any intent either with New Delhi or Guwahati as long as Congress is ruling at both the places. As it is, when asked for a permanent solution for this problem, one senior Bangladesh army officer on condition of anonymity answered – “First ask your own government. Do they really want this infiltration to end?” Golden lines I must say and perhaps the gist of the entire blog.

Cricket Politics Or Are We Shameless?

Published on: Thursday, July 19, 2012 // Dirty Tricks, India, Losers, Pakistan, Politics, Public Interest, Sports

In reply to a Tweet of mine Rajdeep Sardesai scribed – “I support India Vs Pakistan cricket series but let’s not expect it to solve political differences”. I agree as a cricket lover myself to see the old rivalry reigniting in the park like any other cricket enthusiast. What else one as a diehard fan of the game can ask for than the regular encounters involving these two great cricketing nations? No two ways about what Rajdeep said as long as you don’t look beyond the semantics of the game for the heck of it. The moment you look beyond those fours and sixes or the occasional Kangaroo jumps of Javed Miandad to mock the opponent, it is all shoddy. Shoddy not because we are planning to play against the national team of our perpetual enemy number-1 but because the environment that is surrounding us as neighbors is not at all conducive for anything; let alone playing a game of cricket.

Now here is the thing. Most of the nations across the globe have some differences or the other with their neighboring countries. Differences are at times of minimal magnitude like that the Germans and the French enjoy. While at other instances the differences are too wide for comfort, like that between Iran and Israel. A quick glance at the last half a century relationship that we enjoy with Pakistan, it requires no Nobel laureate’s intellect to realize that it belongs to the latter category than the former. In just a span of sixty odd years since we were separated we have already fought two major wars with a third one like the Kargil which Islamabad is vehemently denying of having any hand till date. The diplomatic relationships are no rosy either. In an attempt at garnering the zonal supremacy, it always was a cat fight among the diplomats of both the sides every time they met. There seems to be a long list of issues between the two countries which no one is sure if it could be resolved someday. From Kashmir to international water dispute; from Line Of Control to the Indus Water treaty; it is only hostility that is all over the place. We two countries are so poles apart that we are not even approachable to amicably agree to disagree. Millions of bilateral discussions to bridge the differences not only have failed miserably but rather have widened the differences further.

Does anything on the above paragraph suggest that we should get into a game of cricket fro logging everything else? Of course we can in the name of the so called goodwill gesture but is that what we Indians really wish to do or need to do? Attempt at establishing peace is futile if both the parties don’t accept the mutuality and agree to take a step forward. Nothing would be achieved if we commit ourselves to mend our ways for the sake of peace in the region while the other party remains as stubborn and rogue as they were to begin with. I mean after such bitterness which further is kept bitter by design through hundreds of terror attacks on our soil in disguise of a proxy war, do we still believe it is only obligatory on our part to walk that extra mile just because we are a bigger and more responsible nation? Can we really forget the innocents who were killed by the Zihadis from that side and go on a hugging spree on a cricket pitch? Can we just ignore the fact that it is the terror organizations like LeT, JuD, Harkat-Ul-Mujahideen in connivance with their state owned institutions like ISI plan, design and execute terror attacks on our soil with a sole motto to kill our own brothers and sisters? Can we really forget the bloodshed and go ahead playing games with them as if nothing has ever happened and yet not become a laughing stock and termed as outright shameless?

Let’s see why we shelved any cricketing ties with Pakistan at the first place. Once the involvement of Pakistan as a state in 26/11 was cleared beyond doubt we thought ‘enough is enough’. We can’t just tolerate someone backstabbing us every time we wave an Olive branch. Along with many things the cricketing relationship also got hit post that unfortunate incident. That was a day and yesterday was another day when we conveniently decided to end the proxy apathy and have a game of cricket sooner than later. Now the question is – What significant that happened in-between for such change of hearts? Perhaps nothing. Then why such a questionable U-turn? All this while our conviction was they not only instigated it but also tried their best to safeguard the rascals who perpetrated such inhuman act on our soil. While we were busy writing dossier after dossier they were engaged with their full time activity of denying everything that we had to offer. All this while we were all but licking our wounds for the death of two hundred odd innocents and they were covering up an unpardonable act officially. From scientific evidence to eyewitness accounts, everything was one by one thrown to the dustbin as if we as a nation are full with idiots to cry foul for an entirely nonexistent phenomenon. Even the self-confession of the apprehended joker didn’t found any takers at their end. The confession of many, starting with Headly to Jundal were out rightly rejected as piece of rubbish. The overture was in fact so much flabbergasting that their external affairs secretary went ahead terming the proofs supplied by us are nothing but piece of literature. Now the question arises again – are these the kind of guys with whom one would want to play a game at the international level?

When we see the culprits of humanity are still at large and enjoying a state security it hurts at times to realize how oblivious can a sovereign nation having a so called democratically elected government can be for the plight of the innocents. More than India, Pakistan largely is an enemy of humanity, if I may say so. The issue has got nothing to do with that it happened in India but the fact that it was an attempt at massacring humanity and peace. What matters really are the deaths of those innocents and yet the nation, whose citizens are perpetrators of such heinous crime, is as indifferent as Mika Singh to music. And it certainly is not acceptable. For God’s sake, how can we so easily forget the death of our own brothers and sisters and get padded up for a game? Are we that impotent and shameless?

If not for anything, we at least need to have some sympathy for all those who died because few lampoon elements think the entire planet is against their bloody religion and it is they who are the last men standing and defending it. In the name of religion these buffoons go on killing innocents while their nation which is anything but rogue, defends the act by best of their abilities. Bastards are at the helm of merrymaking and a so called rubbish nation keeps on defending such creatures even though they call themselves sovereign. Filthy, sounds like an outright understatement. Can we really be party to such nations and conveniently forget the atrocity meted out on humanity? Perhaps, we shouldn’t.

Now it is for the gray heads at our external affairs ministry as well as BCCI to elaborate the reasons they feel are good enough to resume cricketing ties. What is that specifically improved on the points for which we stopped playing at the first place that we all of a sudden decided to revisit our decision? The same attitude in defending the culprits. The same arrogance in admitting their mistakes. The same nonchalant response to whatever we have to share. No action whatsoever against those who were directly responsible and last but not the least, the thugs are allowed to spew venom against India and claim to inflict injury to us by thousand cuts. So why such generosity from our side without gaining anything? What is that we are going to get at the end of the day for such shameless display of hospitality?

The country needs answers since we deny to be taken for a ride just because few jokers at our end has a sudden change of hearts for reasons best known to them. Answers are needed because the thing is one can’t be right always. Either the decision to shelve cricketing ties at the first place was wrong or this latest shameless decision of resuming it soon. It can’t be right on both the instances and it is time that those who took such childish decisions both the times must stand up and answer. To hell with your ‘Aaman Ki Asha’; had enough - Let’s deliver justice to the innocent dead first.

We Are A Nation Of Onlookers And Show Offs

Published on: Monday, July 16, 2012 // India, Losers, Public Interest, Touts

I am not getting into the unholy debate of who does what or what one should do in his/her social life or the ever so funny phenomena of displaying your moral superiority at the drop of a hat. I am not at all saying how we as a nation collectively are bankrupt in many things, which also includes the minimal or nonexistent ethical and moral quotient. I am not outraging on our indifference towards many things which we know are wrong for us, our society, our nation and even our value system. I am also no way claiming I have the authority to point fingers to everyone else just because I am largely hallucinated of me being a superior human in comparison to many in our country. What I am is what I am and I am quite sure I will pretty much remain that even if I go through a millions of blogs questioning the very attitude that I may possess. This is applicable to everyone else also. So this piece is no way meant to raise eyebrows or an attempt at changing the perception towards the idea of responsible citizenry or for that matter even basic civic sense.

I am not going to outrage over the Guwahati molestation incident either. Raging over internet on sensitive and serious matters might just give that self-satisfaction of having a superior moral but in reality it is not more than a futile attempt at romanticizing with an idea that we can change the world by venting our anger on the cyber space. I am not a person who gets flattered by the idea of contributing to the society by just pressing the like button on some bloody Facebook page condemning the Khap dictate. Episodic outrage is pointless if the solutions sought for are not institutional and unidirectional. So outraging on public forums is nothing but just the reflection that we have enough spare time to show our good or not so good English literary skills and ogle at the cleavages the next time we are around a shopping mall. So neither do I have much of an anger against all those rascals who were tormenting a hapless girl on a busy street nor a pride feeling for those who supplied close to a million of Tweets condemning the above mentioned rascals. For me, both groups are equally useless in the context of whatever happened in Guwahati and many similar unreported happening elsewhere.

That said I still believe we have turned ourselves largely into a group of Showbaazs. Issues pertaining to many sensitive matters have long been treated as a fanfare to showcase yet another of our show off skills. Be it molestation caught on camera or the decades long sexual harassment case involving S.P.S. Rathore; it always remained a placeholder for many to display their not so required concerns which invariably always are fabricated and artificial than otherwise. For everything that our media wants us to believe we go gaga without understanding the core constituents of the whole issue and furnish statements as if it is our moral obligation to shout for every damn thing before we realize for what exactly we are shouting. I have no problems with people overreacting on issues which rather requires a holistic and constructive approach but the indemnification of the veracity of the situation by going ballistic on cyber space and thinking yourself to have accomplished a herculean task of mending the norms of the day and scared the shit out of those who are responsible is a little more of exaggeration than anything. This collective behavior of ours has a striking similarity with that of a real life and reel life. The hero of the movie can fight with a dozen well-endowed rowdies and still emerge as a hands down winner but that certainly is not the case when it comes to realty. The false propaganda that our brains force use to imagine; the idea of accomplishment that we want to convince ourselves the very next moment we press the like button or Tweeted an aggrieved text is nothing but cinematic. In reality it achieves nothing. This solid affinity of individuals to galore the virtual to bring that false sense of Dejavu of accomplishing something has a cascading effect on what one possibly could have done to bring some difference. We remain so preoccupied and contained with our theatric countenance that we seldom realize that we could have done way lot better than just Tweeting or liking one thing or the other and searching for Sunny Leone’s nude pictures the very next second.

That’s why precisely I feel we are a nation of onlookers. Not because we don’t do anything to set things right which for sure we know are wrong but because we think the Tweeting and pressing the like button is the best and most welcomed thing that we can offer, given the situation. That is not only scary but a matter of great concern since we have limited ourselves inside the boundary of social networks. When it comes to doing a big show off on someone else’s apathy, we have largely five major categories of people. The ones who keep fighting their war for justice on the social platforms and there is another lot who readily venture out with burning candles in their hands for every damn thing. There could possibly be a third section who would be doing both. That is laughable. To round all these, there is a fourth section who always are busy defining their own existence and nothing matters to them until someone blows their asses to pieces. These are the kind of species who would remain bystanders and enjoy a good show doing nothing and scratch their balls later on dreaming what they could or should have done. There is another set that are outright nonsense. The set which are nothing short of wannabe superheroes and claim they could have done one thing or the other, had they been present in that moment. But in reality, it is only that big mouthing that goes viral every time something spicy like the Guwahati episode comes up and full time engagement in garnering some brownie points becomes the general motto.

Look at the people of Mumbai and the 26/11 in particular. Lot of outrage was there and very rightly so. When a state fails in its primary duty of protecting its citizens then we have to outrage. We have to do every bit to expose the incompetency of the state, the government and the people in power and drag people out of their comfort zone to answer uncomfortable questions. We should be unforgivable towards everyone who has a direct or indirect hand in allowing an unfortunate thing like 26/11 to happen. But what we did instead? We talked for hours on TV debates and Tweeted nonstop during the incident. We kept on exhibiting our dissatisfaction on the state of the affairs and our paralyzed security apparatus. Bravo! Even we came up with revolutionary statements like ‘Enough Is Enough’. We disgraced politicians who were sitting pretty under the soothing cover of their Z+ security and dared them to come out of their cocoon and face the real world once, which we common populace face every day. As if the icing on the cake was missing we topped it with a massive and Guinness Book entry worthy sized Candle march. All is commendable and appreciated, but how many of those who were outraging did vote during the general elections that followed a week later? Questioning the intent of all those who form our authority circle is where we as a nation are pioneer but when it comes to teach them a lesson of their non-functioning we shed ourselves away from the thick of the things and sleep well into the afternoon on voting days. Noted so called celebrities like Sobha De who were head over heels in criticizing the government of their failure were nowhere seen near the polling booths later. A golden opportunity to teach the scoundrels a lesson was lost and it’s no surprise that the same set of buffoons are back at the helm.

Even our reaction in the Ruchika Gerhotra case is shoddy. While we thought we have scared the culprit after burning tons of wax in various candle light marches of ours; in realty we achieved next to naught. The idiot is free from jail and going on a purchasing spree of luxury vehicles while we have already forgotten the story since we believe we have already done our bit once we Tweeted on it and burnt a candle. I am no advocate of violence but I feel the man who attacked Rathor with a sickle is way saner than us guys who just got our blood boiled after reading few scribes in the newspaper or hearing a TV debate on this. At least the sickle has left a scar for the thug to ponder for the rest of his life while our jingoisms were as effective as Mamta Banarjee for Indian Railways.

From Gurgaon to Guwahati, it is absolute jokers that fill our society. That also includes me. We have already turned ourselves to a huge block of laughing stock for reasons known to none. For everything the best that we can or prefer to do is boil our blood quite unnecessarily without achieving anything and get indulge in a lot of show off at the howling of the wolf. Be it burning a candle or running around with a bunch of flowers, we are all over the place with our tweets and Like buttons while when it comes to some real action we conveniently show our middle finger and go on a hibernation. Aren’t we in real sense a nation of onlookers?

Ohh Barber, My Barber

Published on: Thursday, July 12, 2012 // Humor, Story

How much do you love your barber? No, I am serious. You may think, of all the people why on earth one would end up loving his/her barber? Sonu Nigam and so as Lasith Malinga don’t love their barbers. Do they? Then why the hell should we, I or they should?

Well, before more questions ornamented with better adjectives pop up inside your brain, let’s get down that nostalgic memory lane and see if my question carry some worth. Think of those days when the mother ship gives you that unholy option which you just can’t refuse or accept either way. ‘Get a haircut or get the hell out of this house’. Out of compulsion you reluctantly venture out to get that haircut all the while wondering; doesn’t Michel Jackson have a mother or worse, why not all mothers are like that of Michel Jackson’s. In such occasions when the whole world including your own mother look like one big enemy it is our dear barber who comes to our rescue. Invariably wearing the filthiest pair of dress one can wear our barber is always more than just ready to carve a Tom Cruise out of the average Tushar Kapoors of the world. How comfortable we always are to handover our porcupine growth on the skull to be trimmed, mowed and champied by our barber to bring it to some kind of shape. How we are always confident of our barber to deliver the best every time we land up at his place. The proposition and proofs to love one’s barber are so enormous that even Pakistan can’t deny. So here is my tribute to the ever loving barber and everything that is associated with him.

His Tools: - Not quite sure about others, but my barber for sure carries more number of tools than that Tata Nano factory possibly contains. Every time I see him at his shop he always has at least five of them in his hand and few dozen tucked away in his customized trouser with pockets easily outnumbering the number of seculars in the Congress party. Every time I see him an inherent fear and a long standing wish always gets reincarnated. The wish is to see him someday without any of his tools in his hand and putting on a different pair of outfit, which I would be honest to confess, is only the second wish of mine after the wish of seeing Karunanidhi without his black shades some day. The fear is out of pure love. It always worried me to see my barber visiting the loo with all those gadgets in his hand. A little mishap and my barber is gone for all good money. Honestly, I just can’t imagine my barber changing his profession and moving around local trains to make a living. And boy doesn’t our barber maneuvers his tools with surgeon’s precision to even shame the Chennai Autorickshaw drivers?

The Ambiance: - For a longtime I believed my barber’s outlet is the Sheesh Mahal thing that our movies talk about. For the life of me I never understand the utility of so many mirrors inside a cabin small enough to even accommodate Nitin Gadkari. Everywhere you look it is you who appears in different angles, showcasing your rapidly thinning out hairline and an ever enthusiastic barber busy with massacring your prized possession. Did anyone notice the magazines our barber shops offer for the waiting customers? My firsthand experience of holding something other than my irritating text books had come in the form of a glossy secondhand magazine with its name been torn apart at my barber shop. That was also my firsthand experience of something now we know by ‘Skimpy Clothing’. I don’t know how but a bikini clad photograph of Monmoon Sen suddenly made me more hygienic. While I was earlier threatened with dire consequences before I agree for a haircut; it suddenly turned into a proactive phenomenon so much so that I requested for a haircut twice a month. I had this journey from Monmoon Sen to Deepika Padukone but yet to get the reason on why the magazine has to be relieved of its name. And yes, can you really forget those Altaf Raza numbers few years earlier and those of Himesh Reshamiya hits not so long?

The Business Acumen: - ‘What Baba, you have turned so black. Almost charcoal’, were the first words of my barber every time he sees me. What the hell; I always was a charcoal from my birth. Did you ever saw me possessing that Fardeen Khan completion? I always wanted to argue but every time stopped by his second set of words. ‘Too much Cricket in the sun? Hmmm? No?’ It took me sometime before I realized the underneath business idea laced in those affectionate caring words. It took me a good effort to understand the real intentions of his worries for my fading complexion and looks while I see my mom having an entirely different idea and still finds me more handsome than Brad Pit and George Clooney put together. It always was a routine thing. No sooner my barber is done with making a scarecrow out of me he is ready with his set of suggestions to make me look more handsome knowing fully well that it is as impossible as Rajnikanth respecting the laws of Physics. ‘Baba, why don’t you do a facial? It will make you glow like Rajiv Shukla’. Really? Is always my expression. ‘See how darker you look because of these sun tans’, he adds before I could speak. But you did something similar last time and yet people still struggle to figure out anything other than my teeth in me after twilight. Yes, but we didn’t used Nitrox Oxide last time. We will use it this time to give you that Angelina Jolie texture. He always seems to have an answer for it. I still deny as I am aware that there are things in this era of science and technology which are still termed as impossible. A failure at one doesn’t stop him from attempting at another. ‘Look at your hair Baba. The dandruffs are back. Let’s do an herbal treatment this time’. I deliver my staunch NO even though he promises, an average Dadi of any Ekta Kapoor serials might die someday but these dandruffs won’t ever appear on my skull.

The Discussions: - The only thing that happens inside a barber shop other than haircutting is a hell lot of discussion by the patrons, either while wating or while having that much needed shaving. An encyclopedia of knowledge. The barber shop that is. From Cricket to Crisis; from Politics to Policies. Or even the passionate comparison of the assets of all Bollywood actresses. It always is enriching and full with truckloads of knowledge. Just because he is a Sikh Monteksing Ahluwallia might not be visiting a barber shop or else I am sure he would have gained a vital perspective of our economy and at least a million of ideas to curb the inflation. Even our judges could also benefit from the ideas laid out on various kinds of punishments to appropriately punish the criminals. From Bobbitting the rape accused to stripping the corrupt and spraying Grihasthi Kashmiri Laal Mirchi on their privates, it always an idea out of the box to even shame the Talibans. The discussion usually turns extremely passionate the moment someone pops up Cricket as a topic. None of the cricketers are spared and the techniques are scrutinized so minutely that I am sure Rahul Dravid must have taken the decision to retire after overhearing one such discussion. Even our defense forces have their share of advice readily available. Rather than fighting a proxy war with Pakistan for decades our forces should learn from these guys on how to attack and destroy that filthy country by first carpet bombing every square inch of their land and then hurling at least half a dozen nuclear bombs without any mercy. As if it is not a full-fledged war that is in discussion but going inside your loo and farting your ass out.

“A Person Who Doesn’t Love His/Her Barber Is Not At All Secular But Communal Like RSS – Digvijay Singh”

Sleeping At The Wheel

Published on: Tuesday, July 10, 2012 // Congress, Corruption, Crooks, Dirty Tricks, India, Manmohan Sing, Public Interest

There was a lot of noise since Time magazine ran a story on and around Dr. Manmohan Singh in their latest Asian edition. Noise was from all quarters. While Congress and their allies were fervently opposing the actuality of the content, BJP on the other hand were all over the place claiming their stand of accusing Dr. Singh as an effective less and weak Prime minister is vindicated. Noise was also from the so called critics and experts, which also includes the entrepreneur group. While views were divided on what Time magazine has to say in its entirety, a subtle whispering was evident among the voices that what Time magazine has to say on the performance, efficiency or even authority of our Prime minister dealing with various aspects of governance is not entirely wrong either. That itself is scary. Isn’t it? The so called world’s largest democracy and one of the fastest growing economy of the world is having a CEO who is not only inefficient to be on that post but also has no authority or intent to set things right either. Even if we take 20% of the facts scribed in the Time magazine are to be true, it still remains more than just scary.

I am not here to furnish statistics to either corroborate Time magazine’s claim or go against them. That is the job of the experts and people with similar sounding job description. As it is, there were a whole lot of statistics already thrown at us by various stake holders all through the day in many discussion forums of our TV debates. I am rather here to narrate my perspective, the perspective of a common layman like me and million others and why one should agree to a large extent on the views that Time magazine carry on our governance, policy frameworks, corruption and our Prime minister as well.

Let’s look at our development index of last two years to start with. For me, it always was the economic freedom that defines the growth. Growth is not necessarily only building flyovers, malls or hospitals. Growth is the capabilities of individuals to use them as well. No? If people to large extent remain unable to take benefits from the infrastructural growth, it no more remains growth but paranoia wherein in realty we are bringing up white elephants as potential liabilities for the future. Have the so called growth brought any relief for the citizens? Does this growth have made people enjoy some kind of economic freedom? Certainly not. For almost last couple of years, the backbreaking double digit inflation has emerged as the biggest challenge for an average individual to cope with. Food inflation has reached such proportions that the age old saying of Roti-Daal as the stable and bare minimum food habit of the common populace is coming with a premium. I am not an economist but still struggle to fathom the claim of our politicians that the infrastructure growth in coming up with international standard structures or the ever expanding metro rail network across the nation is helping the growth of the individuals. While people are getting poorer by the day and our investments vanishing quicker than our worries after using Sani Subh Yantra; the touting of a false growth on the backbone of some bizarre claim of infrastructural development is as hilarious as Mayawati getting the clean chit on disproportionate asset case. And what we hear from the people in power, including our Prime minister on the issue of inflation? I don’t want to sound like one Sunny Deol, but in fact we are getting one new date for the expected date of improvement every time. Be it our finance minister or our planning commission head, it always is a new date in offer than letting us know the steps they are assuming before coming up with such dates. Unfortunately, even our Prime minister on whom the Time magazine was so critical follows the suite and furnishes his own set of dates like a headless chicken.

So how does for a person who can’t feed his children properly which he could do with the same amount a couple of years back, the rampant development of international quality structures matter? If someone can answer this simple query of mine, I agree to believe, coming up with thousand crores water leaking stuff like T3 terminals is the symbol of real growth syndrome.

I heard someone from the Congress camp making tall claims of education and healthcare growth as the indexes where Time magazine was unfair in questioning Manmohan Singh’s government with all probability of missing the point by a galaxy length may be. Let me confess, I am still indecisive on whether to laugh or cry. Sorry to furnish some statistics but before anything the gentleman in discussion must be aware of the 40% kids who are still far from being anywhere near a school or the 20% of those who beg on the streets to earn that much needed next bite of bread. Least talked about the healthcare scenario in our country is better. If numbers are matched up, we shouldn’t at all be surprised if we find amongst countries with highest percentage of infant mortality and pregnant women deaths. While countries like Afghanistan have shown some improvement in terms of human index we have in other hand fallen to a dismal 1.35 on the international scale. The global hunger index is another thing which should make us hang our heads with shame. One of my articles dealing with a hungry India could be found here. For a gist – we are the largest contributor of hungry people (400 million of them) in the world with an embarrassing progress report even worse than Pakistan, Nepal, Burma and North Korea and a little better than Somalia and Haiti. And all this has happened in last four to five years at the maximum where we had the same gentleman as our Prime minister on whom at least the Time magazine is grossly disappointed.

Corruption is another thing for which Time magazine has come heavily on Manmohan Singh and very rightly so. While in all probability the number of corrupt has long surpassed the number of honest amongst our citizenry, our government’s attempt at fixing this cancer is anything but noncommittal. Even though there are millions of reasons for such non-action, the biggest of them is because large chunks that are corrupt are part of the present UPA coalition. Indifference towards the public outcry is expected since any action against the thugs, I am sure would leave half of UPA constituents behind bars within hours. Time and again honest people like Anna Hazare or Arvind Kejriwal were been subjected to unethical treatment to malign their image so that the corrupt and looters of the ruling coalition are left untouched. Even the attempt at hoodwinking an entire nation with false promises was exercised, led by none other than our Prime minister. He himself many-a-times promised the nation of some swift action against the corrupt while in realty he did nothing but supplied enough excuses like coalition compulsion and some other similar sounding nonsense. People like Raja, Kalmadi and Kanimozhi were easily let off the hook so systematically while our Prime minister remained as spineless as an average crawling reptile. When the biggest concern of foreign investors remained the rampant corruption and the corrupt in our country and that too many in his own ranks, our Prime minister conveniently turned ostrich on such burning concerns. The rarest of rare time when our prime minister finally tried to do something he was promptly arm-twisted by his own allies to do exactly opposite to what he has promised the nation. Be it Mamata or the left, it always has been the lesser partner had their way by hook-or-crook. Nepotism and aapsi-bhagidari has made one hell of an impact on our global image where one finds corrupts and thugs ruling the roost while there is an absolute policy paralysis, thanks to some nasty daylight blackmailing.

So where are the symptoms for one to go against Time magazine and question their findings? Is there any? Congress stooges can cry atop Mount Everest but the realty which all of us know is painful, horrid and stinks like a gutter. Where is the points for the debate to even build up a case to defend our prime minister against a magazine which is been even termed as the new age East-India company by many whom can’t easily digest the bitter truth. And the truth is we in fact are led by a coalition which is more corrupt than any democratically elected government of the history, which in turn is led by a gentleman who is as power less and clueless as a toddler.

By the way, since Time is done away with NaMo and Manmohan Singh, the next bomb I expect them to drop in the Congress camp is by publishing a factual article on another over hyped and brainless character. The prince and the heir apparent, that is.

Joining The Government Is Rahul Gandhi's Last Chance

Published on: Monday, July 2, 2012 // Congress, Losers, Politicians, Politics, Public Interest, Rahul Gandhi, Sycophants, Touts

Rahul Gandhi always reminds me of that emperor who was too arrogant to listen to other’s opinion so much so that he ended up roaming around the streets naked, with a belief of being fully clothed while the sycophants (or may be fearful) citizens praising the magnanimity of the non-existing outfit.

Blessed with a silver spoon and surrounded by a hell lot of sycophants, the so called prince of the Congress party was never able to see the larger picture or the truth of the matter. Never did the prince realized the writing on the walls because he was always crowded by a lot of ‘Yes Sir’ kind of chaps, who were busy with their buttering acts than bringing out the real concerns or tabling the uncomfortable truths that needs some urgent attention. Never did the prince realized the truth being far from what he is been forced to or he himself being too arrogant, want to see. Little did he realized that politics is not all about having a popular surname and that too a borrowed one at that. Little did he realized that success in public life comes after working for the populace or at least pretending to work for them than parroting the same stanzas every time one opens his/her mouth and flaunting the surname more boldly than what porn sites do with flashy colors.

But I don’t blame Rahul entirely. Though he shares a major chunk of the reasons for his failure time-and-again, the sycophants that fill the Congress party at every layer are equally to be blamed. Honestly, when one gets surrounded by people who never will allow the person to realize his own failures or mistakes, one’s vision tends to get blurred at an alarming rate. And Rahul as it is a person who never had any vision to begin with. The rapid growth of this complete novice among the ranks of the Congress party without any contribution or achievement what so ever has left Rahul with a belief that he is the savior of the party to start with and a major crowd and vote puller to end with. While in realty he remained a big failure in everything that he touched upon or even decided to touch upon. Rather he himself being proactive in admitting the faults or his party men coming forward to let know the bitter truth, he always was hailed for whatever little success that the party garnered. For every small success he was unconditionally bestowed with all the praise while for failures he still was praised for his efforts and a whole lot of jokers willingly agreed to take the blame.

A little analysis of the recently held UP elections will tell you where Rahul failed miserably and how a hoard of his party men and women tried to do a cover up so that the media criticizing of the hire apparent remains minimum. A person of his repute and alleged class (pure Congress version) after camping in the state for close to two years in the esteemed company of Digvijay Sing, spending half of those two years in Dalit huts, taking all those non-existing rapes and murders in Bhatta-Parsaul to the prime-minister and vouching close to a million times for development in the state if elected, has to bite the dust the rough way when Congress scored even less than what they had achieved in the last edition, without him being anywhere near the campaigning area. We could have ignored this setback, had it been Rahul Gandhi’s first failure, but No; if I am not pathetic at mathematics, then it could easily be the failure no, something beyond 10 of the prince. Had it been anyone else from Congress, I am sure he would have been thrown out of the context long back, let alone been allowed to commit mistake after mistakes.

While the expectation was all but a knee jerking treatment of Rahul Gandhi post UP debacle, it turned out to be an entirely different proposition. A lot of sycophants from UP stood up and started taking the blame on themselves, without being ordered (as per Congress HQ) to do so. From Rita Bahuguna Joshi to the motor mouth Digvijay Sing, all were as if in a race to take up the blame for the humiliating outcome. Even though I agree to Digvijay Sing for taking the blame since the shunting that Congress received from the UP voters could easily be directly proportional to the arrogant outburst of few Congress stalwarts like Digvijay Sing and Kapil Sibal time-and-again, it still kind of an irony to see a bunch of so called leaders trying their best to cover up someone whom they think is capable enough to become the prime-minister of the country someday. A leader, if he is capable to lead a nation must also be capable to defend himself and courageous enough to stand up and take the blame head-on for the failure. But No. Logic, ethic and norms don’t go hand-in-hand with Congress policies, more so when it involves someone from the Gandhi family. Hence it was not at all a surprise to see bootlickers numbering in thousands lined-up before 10 Janpath to readily take the blame and hail the prince for his noble gesture of visiting them during the campaign. This is not how one nurtures a true future leader. Rather this is how one brings up a pampered kid who in future invariably either gets caught from a rave party while smoking cocaine or mows down his/her papa’s Mercedes on few hapless daily wage laborers sleeping on the footpath.

Look at the recently concluded BMC elections. The prince was equally active on the Mumbai horizons since the days that duffer Raj Thakray suffered from a sudden bout of north Indian epilepsy. Surrounded by thousands of police personnel and an equal amount of bootlickers he travelled across Mumbai on local trains and alleged to have consumed few packets of Bhelpuri with his fellow passengers (provided they were not beaten and thrown out of the bogies by his bodyguards). An entire Maharashtra Congress went gaga over the Rahul impact on the common masses of Mumbai, only to realize later that it is Balasaheb Thakray who is still the tallest leader of the state, even though he is 85 while the dynamic and so called 42 year old prince are Amul babies in comparison. And what was the reaction of an entire party after this drubbing, still being in the government? You guessed it correct – ‘Rahul has left a strong impact, even though the impact never got converted to votes since a bunch of jackasses of the party didn’t know how to cash-in the hard work of the Prince’.

Instances are plenty where the sycophants have time-and-again tried out of the box tricks to cover the failures of the prince for reasons best known to them only. This rampant attempt at unnecessarily highlighting a caliber less individual and project him as the flag bearer of the grand old party has made Rahul Gandhi anything but irrelevant. He in fact has turned irrelevant for the party itself, even though the bootlickers won’t agree to this fact. Joke doing the rounds when Rahul decided not to campaign for the Gujarat polls as a setback for Narendra Modi is only a testimony that someone who is hailed as the leader to watch out for in future is in realty a political joke at large; thanks to all the sycophants which strangely form a large section of the party.

Now the question arises – ‘What Rahul Gandhi could do now’? The answer is, not much. He has rapidly elevated himself to a position where he has become a white elephant for the party. Henceforth neither the party can be too confident in assigning him full authority in states which are sensitive and important for Congress, nor they can dump him to the nearest gutter as they do with other leaders. The task is cut out for Rahul Gandhi from now on. Yet again, he can't leave his jingoisms either. So while doing a balancing act between his gimmickry and his not so dynamic image, the prince has to remain relevant in Indian politics too. And the only way I see him achieving (if at all) this herculean task is by getting into the government and taking up some responsible job. That said it still looks a double edge sword. Failure as a minister for sure would shut the door on his political future since it would prove him being equally rubbish as an administrator as he is as a so called charismatic vote puller. Though the risks are high it still is a better option for him since if he continues just as a campaign manager in various states and roams around with clowns like Digvijay Sing and many other jokers, the dooms day is not far away. At least he stands a remote chance of reviving his image if he joins the government and shows signs of good and bold administrative qualities. But first and foremost, he must realize – ‘The days of flaunting a borrowed surname has long gone’. True leaders are always rooted to the ground and seldom flaunt their ego to the same people who would cast their votes to decide his/her fate.

And yes, breaking all ties with a certain Robert Vadra would be judicious since he is another of those, other than Digvijay Sing, who can get you shot by just standing beside you. So grow up Rahul!!

Being Cynical�

Calling a spade, a spade