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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

An Egypt In My Backyard


Now it is proved, we Indians are mostly confused. We are confused on what we want and what we want to be. Our parents are equally confused on what they want us to be. An average wife is confused on whether she would prefer a new set of jewelry or her husband not in talking terms with his parents and sisters. Dhoni is confused on whom to give the ball to bowl the last over – Nehra or Bhajji. Congress as a party is confused on whom to appoint as the new Maharashtra Chief Minister after kicking out Pritivraj Chauhan. TRAI as an organization is confused on whether to scrap all those 2G licenses given and spank legally every corporate house involved, including Anil Ambani. And most important – as a nation we are confused on how we should behave as citizens of this country – rational or completely insane.

Take Egypt for example. Until recently the idea about Egypt for a common Indian was nothing but a nation full with only Pyramids, the Sphinx and other historical artifacts which most of us are not bothered enough to know or recognize. For most of us it was ‘THE’ destination for tourism, so that we can click few photographs showing our miserable faces with one of those pyramids in the background and uploaded it in Facebook for our jealous friends to get envious. Many movies, based on ancient Egyptian history cleared one thing for most of us – the country is full with rowdy sadists and barbaric creatures having close resemblance to humans; barely leaving enough space for that balloon seller in front of one of those Pyramids to squeeze in. I am sorry if you also have seen ‘Mummy’, which might have helped you conclude that the nation is also full with unseen ghosts with WWF wrestler’s physic and ready to gulp you down without any notice or warning. But strangely our country which was never aware of the difference between Mubarak and Musharraf is now in a position to write an essay about Egypt and their recently orchestrated revolution. The effect of the said revolution was so enormous that our usually easy going and illiterate politicians have taken a note of it and using the Egyptian revolution in their political speeches as an example. The effect of Egypt and its revolution in our daily life is also evident - Few months back we wanted our Obama uncle and Mishi Maasi whereas now we want our Egypt instead. This is getting out of my head. For God’s sake decide what you want – Obama or Egypt? This is confusion overdrive.

Now there is a certain Mulayam Sing Yadav who wants an Egypt style revolution in UP to his benefit. The perpetual parasites like PDP want one Egypt there at the far north corner of our country to which Omar Abdhulla replied with the introduction of army again as an alternative. I heard Mehbooba Mufti is planning to wipe out the word Egypt from her vacuum brain. Congress wants an Egypt in Karnataka as they see no other way to throw out Yeddyurappa from the state. As revenge, now BJP wants an Egypt in whole of India so that the current corrupt government can be kicked out. Phaa!! Lots of demand for an Egypt it seems. If so, then in the same line I also want an Egypt right in my backyard to set straight the howling kids of my society who for some strange reasons always decide to go for a game of football whenever I would be doing some important work like sleeping, writing crap, watching TV or simply…well leave it. If at all any Egypt gonna happen in India then it has to be and it should be my backyard Egypt first. Torturous kids (more than Mubarak and Saddam Hussein combined) need some lessons the bad way. So in India, the applicability of an Egypt type revolution is getting minute by the hours. While the people of Egypt did that to get themselves free from the oppressed dictatorship of decades; we in India think it to be the answer to each and every problem that we are facing. Starting from toppling the current corrupt government – to - fixing the abnormal timing of the irate bai in our households. So in nutshell – to fix either an expressionless Manmohan Sing or an over expressive Kanti Bai; what we need? Bull’s eye – we need an Egypt. I am not sure if we are showing our gratitude or plainly insulting the Egyptians by this overflowing affinity of their work. In either way, we still remain confused and not sure what we want – an Egypt like revolution or the sweet output the said revolution did yielded.

As they say the Chai Tapri is India’s answer to BBC and CNN put together. Even though debates on politics do usually keep on visiting the Tapri every now-and-then, it seldom had become so prominent before the Egypt revolution. Even though the patrons at the Tapri might not be too aware of who is our own Prime-Minister (I don’t blame them entirely though), they would be knowing every detail of Mubarak, including how many black accounts he possess and the exact amount stashed in each of them. The other day I overheard few of the Tapri patrons furnishing their wish list as far as an Egypt is concerned. You know what – these municipality chaps need some severe treatment. Wish we could go there in masses (like the people of Egypt did) and gherao their bloody office and drag the living daylights out of those Kaamchors. Sorry friend, with all sympathy – you can’t organize an Egypt to bash out the municipality Kaamchors, just because you noticed the overnight shit is not cleaned up from the drain in front of your house. Another wish was anything but maverick. Can’t we just go in masses to all those government offices and drag all the idiot bribe taker Babus, strip them naked and then make sure to take them on a city tour (half on bare foot and the other on donkey back ) with Chappal garlands? Well technically speaking, you can but you really don’t need an Egypt for that. Do you? Even a handful of guys can accomplish that. All that you guys need – a mentality that all those Sivsena, MNS or any other Sena members possess and of course few RSS danda.

Whatever it may be – we are yet to come to terms on if we really need an Egypt here. If at all yes then how many and at which level. Do we need a single national level Egypt or an Egypt in each city and each backyard (starting with mine. The kids are already sitting on my nerves). Looking at the vast size of our country, can we really construct a pan-India Egypt? Or should we stick to our age old zone-wise movement? Eastern-Egypt, Western-Egypt, Northern-Egypt and Karunanidhi-Egypt? After wiping out each and the last scoundrel of our respective zones, we would congregate in our national capital and throw away that expressionless gentleman. How is this for an Idea? But whatever it may be – I want the Egypt to start from my society or else count me out!!

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1 comment :

  1. So good topic really i like any post talking about Ancient Egyptian Gods but i want to say thing to u Ancient Egypt not that only ... you can see in Ancient Egypt Ancient Egypt Map and more , you shall search in Google and Wikipedia about that .... thanks a gain ,,,

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