I would have loved to dispatch this letter a long time back. But see, for a living I have to work, unlike you who gets paid in lakhs for just telling lies. The delay in posting the letter is majorly due to lack of time and of course the belief that you must be aware of all the nonsensical attributes that you are equipped with, hence leaving me nothing new to make you aware of. So an outright apology for coming up late would probably set the tone of the letter. And more of, since now you are enjoying your holiday in New York and dinning with who’s-who of Hollywood, the letter could just cheer you up if you are feeling little homesick. For better result please do read it while the famous number, ‘Chithi Ayi Hai, Ayi Hai’ of Pankaj Udas running in the background.
Ok, now let’s move on. For starters, I would love to know your rate. I mean not the rate as in rate but the amount you charge to peddle a single lie. Does it depend on the context or the person against whom you are paid to lie? Or is it both that you take into consideration before quoting a number? Or you have some quarterly, monthly disbursement engagement with special clients like Congress party, knowing the amount of lies you blabber for them on hourly basis. I can understand the quantity of effort it requires to take count of the number of lies told versus money received, if it is a per-lie-payment mechanism. Knowing the brilliance of yours and the crooked party that depends on lies to protect its morons on daily basis, I am sure you guys must have devised an error free payment mechanism. Taking a safe guess, I can say, in all probability it could be once in a week pay cycle. Am I correct with my guess work, Barkha? And another interesting datum, which in fact I have even bet with my friends. Out of the money that must be flowing into your unsolicited bank account, a good 40% would be going to NDTV’s account as commission and facilitation fee. If you care to answer back on this with affirmation, I might just demand Rs 500/- from my friends as the gambled amount.
But jokes apart; why you sold yourself? I mean what was that urging need for you to sell yourself as a journalist to the political skunks and that too at such a cheap rate. I mean, I could have understood if it had been your Mom who was critically ill and you were in desperate need of money for her medical bills, hence you were all but forced to sell your moral and ethics or may be beyond. But as far as I know I guess something this terrible has never happened in your life. So it bewilders me to understand, what kind of person who can sell himself/herself without any dying need. Just as a matter fact, someone getting up one morning and deciding to sell himself/herself sounds as absurd as ‘Power Is Poison’ nonsense of Rahul Gandhi. Or is it that NDTV never pays its anchors and asks them to collect as much they can by lying? Much like the way these restaurants employ their waiters against minimal pay while assuring them lot of tip money from the dinners. In whichever way, it would be interesting to know the employment model of NDTV as well as the specific reason that inspired you to start lying in front of the cameras without even blinking your eyes.
Along with lying, I am told you are a professional Dalal? I am extremely sorry if a Hindi word like ‘Dalal’ is a mismatch to your so called English News anchor image. We can change that to something more sophisticated like middleman, power broker if you wish but if you ask me, I would still prefer the ‘Dalal’ tag tucked behind you. Because it defines you better that way than the polished English vocabularies ever could.
Coming back to the topic. What that Radia tape was all about. I know you don’t like to speak on this topic since you just saved yourself with the skin of your teeth but a so called fearless jurno, who even has the courage to jump inside the bunkers of Kargil to air her nonsense from there, must stand up and face the truth head on. If you feel the nation would believe on your false persona that you have webbed around yourself with your lies then I must say; Rahul Gandhi is a graduate with a Phd. sounds more believable. Error of judgment that was; didn’t you said this to cover your stinking trails? When a clip that runs for several minutes where one finds you doing outright Dalali for Congress in the upcoming government formation with another equally notorious woman; you certainly can’t term that as error of judgment. I for any day can believe if someone says it was an error of judgment on the part of Kasav since he believed a moron like Hafeez Saeed but not you, who were plotting a sinister plan to rape our democracy with another woman. I am sure the explanation of ‘an error of judgment’ or some nonsense to that effect is an afterthought Barkha while in reality you were pimping for your political bosses. Nevertheless, be thankful to your stars and your amazing sycophancy abilities that you were never questioned for such blatant incapacitation of our electoral system. Had it been someone else, not on the payrolls of Congress; all the investigative wings would have pounced on him/her, much like the way the idiots of Hariyana do whenever they see a single woman late night.
Other than telling lies before the cameras, you have got another hobby; I am told? That is to threat random people on Twitter with legal action. Every time one raises the issue of Radia Tapes and asks you uncomfortable questions, you get fired up like a drunkard rogue and start issuing threats? Are you permanently on drugs or what Barkha? What kind of insanity is this when genuine questions offend you so much that you search for your lawyer’s phone number from your diary? That too for every passing fart. Your lawyer must be a real happy man. No?
Keeping aside your happy lawyer for a moment, since when our laws have started protecting the Dalals, who go ahead and sell our democratic framework for cheap personal gain? Since when a Dalal has gone to such levels that he/she is out of bounds for everyone? Your political bosses might have saved you this time but for sure the wheel has to turn a full circle and when that eventually happens, I am afraid there won’t even be any net connection available at your disposal to warn people on Twitter. Because you would be languishing behind the bars for a good part of your life.
Hope you remember the poor blogger Chaitanya Kunte, who squarely blamed you and very rightly so for the killing of our security forces during 26/11 and how again you threatened him with legal action. It is surprising to see, how a morally bankrupt person herself can issue threats to others on the backbone of our legal system. The very legal system she was trying vehemently to screw up in association with another pimp going by the name Niira Radia. You know what Barkha; the attitude of yours keeps me reminding of a famous Hindi proverb that goes like – ‘Chori so Chori, Upar se Seena Jori’. Isn’t it Barkha? It is like a thug issuing threats of police to the person he is robbing and warning him to stop resisting. No?
Hope you will let all of us know what you are smoking for last 10 odd years. Perhaps that is the only way one can find the cure to your fervent lying syndrome and accordingly admits you at a proper place for rehabilitation. The cure to your disease would be a long process since the lying syndrome has long gone inside your gene which if not cured will otherwise produce even bigger liars as your offspring. Of course, provided you get married. But hang-on; is it that you have already secretly married a Kashmiri Muslim long time back or it is a rumor that is doing the rounds? I mean a lie administered to a seasoned liar makes perfect sense to me though. Taste of one’s own medicine, you know?
Admirer of paid Journalists