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Friday, August 27, 2010

You Have Got Male

Just when you think men can't get more absurd, someone goes and proves you thoroughly wrong. Take for example my friend Janardan (not his real name). An entire collection of the findings of his nasal excavation hangs under his desk. These findings are dug out by this idiot (his real name), examined minutely and flicked away if not up to the mark. Rest are archived. Ladies - Janardan is still single.

In the mid nineties some author did tried to suggest - men are from Mars and women are from Venus, through his book's title. I am not sure from where did women came - from Venus or some other particularly nagging and irritating planet (like Rahu or Ketu) but for certain men are not from a beautiful planet like Mars. I am not talking only about creatures like Lalu Yadav, Suresh Kalmadi, Mulayam Sing Yadav or Himesh Reshamiya. Absolutely every male on the street is a potential pain for any one's posterior. Don't believe me ? Then ask both Sashi Tharoor and Lalit Modi. Hang on. What about Mayawati, Mamta Banerjee and Rabri Devi? Are they also male? Well I love to answer that gender oriented query, but let me not be politically incorrect at the beginning of the blog. Guess what; this is again another classic case of male absurdity - making everything political and dragging away from the topic. May be changing the paragraph will help.

Now I am feeling lot better.

I have this friend named Batuklal. I still consider him a friend even though for my 20th birth day he gifted me some kind of reptile eggs, which thanks heaven never hatched. Just when I was sure, any male on this planet (from any country) would love to take the Supari of Ekta Kapoor, there come my friend in the form of a slap to my believe. He perhaps could be the only male in the planet whose wife have a serious concern for her husband's Saas - Bahu fascination. Don't get it wrong. As any household goes there is also a perpetual Cricket Vs Ekta Kapoor fight going around - but just the other way round. How can you tolerate such pain, I asked. I mean how in earth you can see the rapid focusing of the camera on the character's face ( as if the cameraman fell off his char) coupled with the sound more dramatic and louder than the combination of cat fight, hoarse neighbours, someone vomiting and a Jagjit Sing CD played in fast forward. How you can digest and remember so many saazis erupting on daily basis? I am yet to get an answer back though.

I know a certain Bharatnatyam dancer named Shankarshan. He took to dancing as his grand father was one pioneer in the art form and wanted badly for his grandson to take forward his legacy. He started bit late with the learning as for most part of his first 15 years either he was busy spying from his 2nd floor room to the adjacent bathroom of his neighbour or getting canned at school for breaking all records (from bottom) of school's history with his marks. By the time he got freed from his extraneous activities and got into the dancing shoes, his grandfather was not even in a situation to walk, let alone doing some Bharatnatyam. So the responsibility was left to one of his students named Padmini to teach Shankarshan.

Not to mention Padmini was almost double the age of the student and as per Shankarshan was somewhat ugly also. The news came to us after seven long years - Our beloved Shankarshan at the ripe age of 21 eloped with a married women of 41. The women left behind her 3 children and a more than sorry looking husband. I don't think I should mention the women's name. This act seeded the death sentence of his grandfather who by that time had one foot firmly on the graveyard. Some say it was an heart attack. Shankarshan's mother went to a permanent mental instability.

Over the ages men have continued to prove everyone wrong. A little chat to any one's wife would confirm this assertion. Even Pakistan can be predictable and dependable at times (e.g quite dependable that they would continue infiltrating terrorists to our side) but not an entire species called male.

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