Published on Friday, February 17, 2012 Friday, February 17, 2012 // Humor, India, Jokers, Losers, Open Letter, Public Interest
That’s what you like yourselves to be called. Don’t you?
Let me tell this; you were again disappointing. No I am not complaining on how in the name of Juhu Beach you allowed Ritesh Deshmukh to marry Genelia, but your repeated disinterest towards something that the nation, the city of Mumbai, you guys yourselves along with the numerous Bhais roaming around carrying Desi Kattas or Rampuris in every street corner could benefit. I wouldn’t been in the complainant box if it had been that one of case but it is the alarming regularity of your complete objection to cast your votes as if, if you do then you either would be subjected to being molested by Mayawati or forced to have sex with an HIV infected prostitute, you conveniently duck it time and again. Why such consistency in your blindness towards your own fundamental rights? Yo can surely change this notorious attitude. Come on; even Rohan Gavaskar has scored an oneday half century accidentally. If Rohan can execute a miracle, you guys certainly can.
Coming back to the asli mudda. If the self-gloating of the attitude of so called Mumbaiaa and your nonexistent inclusiveness hasn’t shadowed your vision yet, then let me drop the bomb at your doorstep. Let’s get the records straight. If you think the statistics of the number of Panipuri walas or the Taxi drivers bashed up black and blue by a group allegedly comprising of humans known as MNS is scary enough then let me throw a scarier statistics at you. This time for the local municipal election you again miserably contributed a 43% of your entire voting constituent. Even if that is the percentage of the engineers at Infosys who can spell software correctly, it still looks meager in comparison to what our voters from the Maoist infected interior Uttar Pradesh has to offer. Even they managed to score a 60% which is equivalent to the percentage of engineers at TCS who can’t spell software correctly.
This is nonsense to say the least. Don’t you think so? The city which is considered the harbinger of new era intellectualism and culture and supposed to be full with individuals of such brilliance that it could make many Nobel laureates throw their prizes in their city gutters out of shame; can’t understand the value of exercising their most important fundamental right? Is that complete indifference towards one’s responsibilities or too much lack of sensibility? Or shouldn’t I have asked this at the first place after seeing Rakhi Shawant for some time in various notorious platforms? In whichever way, the answers for me at least are farfetched. The last time we had our general election you guys had a pathetic number of 46% of the constituents that thought it is important to cast their votes. While that number itself should have forced many of you to boycott eating Bhel-Puri till the next general election, you guys decided to break your own record instead. That is so interesting, No?
While random people from the city give lectures to the world (including Pakistan, Afghanistan and Kalmadi) on how one should respect his/her responsibilities towards the nation are seen believing a beer bar in Lonavla is just the right place to be on the voting day to pass out an utterly boring off day. That is so tangent to what one preaches and ending up doing something entirely different.
What that flummoxes me, is the absence of any apparent reason for such behavior. Just when I conclude to blame it on your lack of inclusiveness, there the scenes of the mob carrying a lightened candle each and marching in unison (of course without the song Ayega..Ayega) stops me going further. You guys have already engaged in more number of candle light vigils than the rest of the marches anywhere in the world put together. Didn’t you? So the last thing that you guys must be lacking is coming together for a cause. But where is that force in conviction when it comes to casting your votes and why I don’t see people thronging the poll booth in such numbers? Or is it, a cause which has no scope of a candle march is not a cause worthy enough to acknowledge? While you guys can gather in lakhs as early as five in the evening near the Gateway Of India when the designated march is scheduled to start only past eight, you guys were almost always has to be dragged out of your beds on voting day; that too when it 2 in the afternoon. While women cutting social circle were seen sporting a kilo of makeup with a good 750 gram of it being their lipsticks alone and busy in burning N number of candles even before the sun sets in; they are nowhere to be seen (with or without makeup) near the polling booth. Why that enthusiasm vaporizes for real causes? Or sporting lipstick inside a polling booth is banned by our Election Commissioner? Mr.Quarashi, could you please clarify this?
Just look at the number of wax you guys burnt post 26/11, so much so that it shoot up the global wax price index by three folds across the planet. Even people travelled to places like Pune to get hold of their favorite color lipstick to make the great occasion of some candle burning a grand success. When the theatrics in front of the Taj Hotel along with that placard showing ‘Enough Is Enough’ is commendable, it certainly is not when Mumbai went to polls within a week of that nasty incident. Post that grandeur after 26/11 candle burning, when all thought the number of people who would be attacking the poll booths to cast their votes would be so enormous that the poll officials would have critical shoulder operation for just inking their fingers; you guys ended up with a shameful 46% turnout. While it was expected of the vocal Mumbaikars to set an example for the rest of the universe, including the aliens who don’t vote in their own planet, you guys conveniently slept through the day on pretext of the hot and humid conditions. That is so bizarre, won’t you guys think so? Pioneers in bursting their vocal chords for national issues were individuals like Sobha De. While Sobha could have taken out some time from her soft porn writing endeavor to cast her vote, she chickened out and nowhere to be seen, at least for next three days. Why so hypocritical? Or hang-on, Am I missing something? Is it having an inked finger doesn’t go down well with your style statement?
And what the hell is that Amchi Mumbai nonsense, if it had any sense ever to begin with? Belongingness doesn’t come with only narrating your pledge and responsibility but with credible examples following your talk. Before shouting Amchi Mumbai for every damn reason, even while having sex; all of you need to ponder what you have done to call it your Mumbai. Other than loitering the Juhu Beach and shitting here, there and everywhere, what credible that one has done to vouch for such claims? Well Raj Thakray is excluded from answering these as I am for sure confident that he hasn’t done anything and he shouldn’t waste even a second in muscling his gray cells to think of one.
Guys, be sensible and realize there are far more important and better things to do than going for random candle light vigils for no apparent reasons or arranging flash mobs to dance like eunuchs in a marriage party. Top of the list in ‘Things to ponder’ is to resurrect the pathetic record of not voting ever. Or else let me tell you, it would be really unfortunate if Apex court in response to a PIL, orders to slap random Mumbaikars left-right-and-center the moment they open their mouth to talk on national interest and issues. Hope we won’t encounter that day ever. Or should we request EC to arrange voting in Mumbai during night time only and allow each of the voters to carry a lighted candle inside the booth? Could that approach increase the vote percentage since you Mumbaikars would have that sense of Dejavu like going for a candle-light vigil, not to cast your votes?
By the way where were the big mouths shouting for a corruption free India when Anna was staging his fast there?
-Someone who hasn’t yet participated in a single Candle-light vigil.