Saturday, March 10, 2012
Open Letter To Rahul Gandhi
Hope the public electoral humiliation has sunk in and you are no more been crowded by bootlicking sycophants. I am in all expectation that this mail will breach your high SPG security (I don’t know why you are provided with that at the first place) cover to reach your desk for you to ponder and hopefully convince you to slap yourself tight when alone.
To begin with; do you really know what Indian politics is all about? I agree I shouldn’t have asked this since looking at your political behavior of last half decades at least it is no more a secret that you absolutely know nothing. When I say nothing, it is not necessarily politics alone but everything that an average 42 year old is supposed to know. This could be one reason why you haven’t married yet.
Coming back to the reasons why I am writing this mail. Do you really think in this complex world of internet and social mingling does anyone really care about the shit one uses after his or her name? If a surname automatically makes one great then let me assure you it would have been Rohan Gavaskar who should have been ruling the Cricket world not a certain Sachin Tendulkar. Even in case of Rohan I at least see no reason why he shouldn’t since people having borrowed surnames like you are all over the place throwing tantrums as if you have screwed all the Nobel laureates of the world with your intelligent quotient. Every time you opened your mouth the hidden pride of having that begged surname flashed more prominently than what Yanna Gupta flashed when she turned up without her innerwear. This is so nonsense when one’s surname becomes larger than the person himself and yet the person in question takes pride on it, more than what Pamela Anderson does for her assets. From your public rallies to your so called game changer (for Congress sycophants even your morning session inside the loo is a game changer act) ideas; immaturity and bullshit is written all over it.
Look at what you have to say in each and every public rally of yours’. That is getting so monotonous, No? For once we can expect Inspector Daya not to break the doors but not you vomiting bullshit atop a podium. “Sarkar Nain Karodn Rupayee Diye lekin Who Aap Logon Tak Nehin Pahochi”. Really? How routine that is Rahul which even will shame Ekta Kapoor for introducing a new kind of Saazish once in a while. For once I want to clear that line which your script writers never forget to put in your speech. Could you please let all of us know how the same reaches to the right people in all Congress ruled states only but not elsewhere? Is it that all Congress states are full with holy cows and scoundrels in rest? Well could be true looking at your esteemed colleagues like A. Raja, Kalmadi, Sarad Pawar and many more. Those guys are certainly cleaner than Dettol on which even His Holiness The Dalai Lama can take pride. Since your standard statement while holding a mineral water bottle couldn’t even impressed the village dog (evident from the votes your party garnered since you started campaigning) it is only advised that you refrain from uttering it again or else don’t be surprised at all if a tribal jumps the barricades and makes a Sreesanth out of you.
By the way what is your education Rahul? I am hearing a lot about you being so brilliant in studies that you ended up failing in each of your papers in the first term itself. Were you so magnanimous with your studies? If so then you can easily be a role model for our students cutting caste, creed and religion lines. A second theorem that is doing the rounds (mainly instigated by your honest bootlickers) that you were employed at Price Waterhouse Coppers or E & Y or something and were so brilliant that even its CEO once contemplated of quitting his job out of respect seeing such gems of high caliber working under him? Why such propaganda with your education Rahul? When we can tolerate outright garbage like Lalu Yadav or Ramvilash Paswan, we can certainly tolerate another. Call it our misery or drawback in our constitution when we see one has to be at least 10th pass to become a peon but one can be the PM of the nation even if can’t write his own name in one go. We have long adjusted with the duffers in our political class and you admitting your college dropout year won’t shake our psyche much. Hope you would come out clean on this someday.
You are the harbinger of anti-corruption. Aren’t you? So I just can’t find a better person than you to explain the exponential rise of a certain Robert Vadra. He is your brother-in-law also. Isn’t he? Let me tell you he is out of the world. The time taken by other billionaires of India to become one, this gentleman broke all those records by achieving the feet within seven years. Let me assure you; Dhirubhai Ambani must have committed suicide up there after listening this gentleman’s achievements. How could he manage to achieve this? I am sure just by doing Dalali for DLF he couldn’t have amassed so much money. Could he? So a little help from you to let know the secrete trick of this phenomenal success will help our students in IIMs or elsewhere and would certainly be a priceless info for all our budding entrepreneurs. Before accusing half of the world of corruption you must first highlight your own Brother-in-law’s road to success and how it is made smoother by the so called high-commands of your party.
Lastly, do you know why the fan fall on you in UP? Because you hit it with so much shit that it refused to stand it anymore. The arrogance shown by you and a hell lot other of your party men as if you all possess the biggest tools of the world is another reason. The complete disrespect for regional mass leaders just because you have one bullshit surname is a mistake which I am sure even your kids (if at all they are born) won’t do in future. And by the way, why that tearing of the paper? Were you genuinely trying to topple Shahrukh Khan from top in Bollywood? Enough Rahul; we have many nonsense in our daily lives (not all are blessed college dropouts) to handle and will request you hence to not pile any more. Let me tell you one trade secret for your success – just don’t campaign ever and who knows your party might just gather more votes than what they are doing under your nonsense. But employ this trick after the Gujarat elections later this year as we dearly want Congress to be wiped out from the state for ever.
A last piece of advice – Don’t mingle around too much with that Digvijay Sing. The idiot will get you shot someday.
-Someone who cares rat ass of what or who you are.