Headlines
Published On:Saturday, March 10, 2012
Posted by Cynical

Open Letter To Rahul Gandhi

Dear Rahul, 
Hope the public electoral humiliation has sunk in and you are no more been crowded by bootlicking sycophants. I am in all expectation that this mail will breach your high SPG security (I don’t know why you are provided with that at the first place) cover to reach your desk for you to ponder and hopefully convince you to slap yourself tight when alone.

To begin with; do you really know what Indian politics is all about? I agree I shouldn’t have asked this since looking at your political behavior of last half decades at least it is no more a secret that you absolutely know nothing. When I say nothing, it is not necessarily politics alone but everything that an average 42 year old is supposed to know. This could be one reason why you haven’t married yet.

Coming back to the reasons why I am writing this mail. Do you really think in this complex world of internet and social mingling does anyone really care about the shit one uses after his or her name? If a surname automatically makes one great then let me assure you it would have been Rohan Gavaskar who should have been ruling the Cricket world not a certain Sachin Tendulkar. Even in case of Rohan I at least see no reason why he shouldn’t since people having borrowed surnames like you are all over the place throwing tantrums as if you have screwed all the Nobel laureates of the world with your intelligent quotient. Every time you opened your mouth the hidden pride of having that begged surname flashed more prominently than what Yanna Gupta flashed when she turned up without her innerwear. This is so nonsense when one’s surname becomes larger than the person himself and yet the person in question takes pride on it, more than what Pamela Anderson does for her assets. From your public rallies to your so called game changer (for Congress sycophants even your morning session inside the loo is a game changer act) ideas; immaturity and bullshit is written all over it.

Look at what you have to say in each and every public rally of yours’. That is getting so monotonous, No? For once we can expect Inspector Daya not to break the doors but not you vomiting bullshit atop a podium. “Sarkar Nain Karodn Rupayee Diye lekin Who Aap Logon Tak Nehin Pahochi”. Really? How routine that is Rahul which even will shame Ekta Kapoor for introducing a new kind of Saazish once in a while. For once I want to clear that line which your script writers never forget to put in your speech. Could you please let all of us know how the same reaches to the right people in all Congress ruled states only but not elsewhere? Is it that all Congress states are full with holy cows and scoundrels in rest? Well could be true looking at your esteemed colleagues like A. Raja, Kalmadi, Sarad Pawar and many more. Those guys are certainly cleaner than Dettol on which even His Holiness The Dalai Lama can take pride. Since your standard statement while holding a mineral water bottle couldn’t even impressed the village dog (evident from the votes your party garnered since you started campaigning) it is only advised that you refrain from uttering it again or else don’t be surprised at all if a tribal jumps the barricades and makes a Sreesanth out of you.

By the way what is your education Rahul? I am hearing a lot about you being so brilliant in studies that you ended up failing in each of your papers in the first term itself. Were you so magnanimous with your studies? If so then you can easily be a role model for our students cutting caste, creed and religion lines. A second theorem that is doing the rounds (mainly instigated by your honest bootlickers) that you were employed at Price Waterhouse Coppers or E & Y or something and were so brilliant that even its CEO once contemplated of quitting his job out of respect seeing such gems of high caliber working under him? Why such propaganda with your education Rahul? When we can tolerate outright garbage like Lalu Yadav or Ramvilash Paswan, we can certainly tolerate another. Call it our misery or drawback in our constitution when we see one has to be at least 10th pass to become a peon but one can be the PM of the nation even if can’t write his own name in one go. We have long adjusted with the duffers in our political class and you admitting your college dropout year won’t shake our psyche much. Hope you would come out clean on this someday.

You are the harbinger of anti-corruption. Aren’t you? So I just can’t find a better person than you to explain the exponential rise of a certain Robert Vadra. He is your brother-in-law also. Isn’t he? Let me tell you he is out of the world. The time taken by other billionaires of India to become one, this gentleman broke all those records by achieving the feet within seven years. Let me assure you; Dhirubhai Ambani must have committed suicide up there after listening this gentleman’s achievements. How could he manage to achieve this? I am sure just by doing Dalali for DLF he couldn’t have amassed so much money. Could he? So a little help from you to let know the secrete trick of this phenomenal success will help our students in IIMs or elsewhere and would certainly be a priceless info for all our budding entrepreneurs. Before accusing half of the world of corruption you must first highlight your own Brother-in-law’s road to success and how it is made smoother by the so called high-commands of your party.

Lastly, do you know why the fan fall on you in UP? Because you hit it with so much shit that it refused to stand it anymore. The arrogance shown by you and a hell lot other of your party men as if you all possess the biggest tools of the world is another reason. The complete disrespect for regional mass leaders just because you have one bullshit surname is a mistake which I am sure even your kids (if at all they are born) won’t do in future. And by the way, why that tearing of the paper? Were you genuinely trying to topple Shahrukh Khan from top in Bollywood? Enough Rahul; we have many nonsense in our daily lives (not all are blessed college dropouts) to handle and will request you hence to not pile any more. Let me tell you one trade secret for your success – just don’t campaign ever and who knows your party might just gather more votes than what they are doing under your nonsense. But employ this trick after the Gujarat elections later this year as we dearly want Congress to be wiped out from the state for ever.

A last piece of advice – Don’t mingle around too much with that Digvijay Sing. The idiot will get you shot someday.

Warm Regards

-Someone who cares rat ass of what or who you are.

36 comments:

Deva said...

Man...I am love in it

Sarvesh said...

this is really good.......takes a lot of courage to call a spade a spade

Anonymous said...

i searched rahul in google. i ended up with rahul dravid.
thanks google for being sincere

Anonymous said...

Just Fantaastic. I love this. If Raul Vinci reads this, he will definitely pack the bag and run away to Italy

Anonymous said...

Fantstic

Sukrat Kaushik said...

Just awesome.......... full on fire......

Anonymous said...

thanks to the person who has written this and showing a mirror to mr raul.....

Anonymous said...

Superb and ultimate.

Hope this gandi reads it and implements the valid suggestions mentioned therein.

Congrats to who ever has written this article. All the best to you.

Cynical said...

Thanks for the good words guys. Me the author of this piece always take pride in calling a Spade a Spade :)

Thanks again for visiting my Blog.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mr. Cynical, have u written anything on Pratibha?

Cynical said...

@Anonymous

I'm afraid I haven't. More off she is not even worth writing about!!

Anonymous said...

Of very low taste… Shows high level of arrogance of the writer…. Absolutely wrong person to pass comment on another person…

Vishwas said...

hilarious

Anonymous said...

Excellent!!!!

ladylovesblogs said...

Brilliant! Keep them coming!

Sandeep said...

DJ, I like ur boldness coupled with ur hilarious writing. Raul Vinci has been 2 a skool in Hyd few years ago (@ the time when 123 Nuke deal was a hot topic) & a 5th standard student asked him "What is IAEA?" The prince's reply was "I have no idea."

Anonymous said...

Hat Off...can some one write Individual letters to Sharad Pawar, Sonia Ghandhi and Pranab Mukharjee... they are termite to this Country.

Cynical said...

This is another Open Letter send to Rahul today in one of TOI blogs by Sarmila Ravinder. Please analyze between these two letter and your feedback is eagerly awaited. Here it is

http://blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/tiger-trail/entry/an-open-letter-to-rahul-gandhi

Sarvesh said...

Hi,
I just read both the letters. To be frank Rahul defenitely needs to read them. Forget the hilarious moments what he needs to read is the way he has to handle the ppl around him. He should learn to keep yesmen far from him. Listen to the person who admonishes him bcos that person is the one who has any concern regarding him. Until this is done congress will perish.

Anonymous said...

Yeah no one is perfect and i do get that..

But for person who doesnt care Rat's ass, you write and think way too much.

if you didnt care be indifferent. There are many billionaires who made money in long time and MANY examples who did in short while. so that i dont see as any comparision.

Rahul needs to see reality i dont doubt that. He needs to correct the corruption but same time it is soooooooooooooooooo evident if he were to correct it congress as in not NDA, just congress might be left with 4-5 party members.

But seriously... it sounds more like rant than someone who doesnt actually care.

Physics had a rule to coz any change in motion of a body, it has to external. So if you pissed with system more, then get into politics and change it.

no point absolutely no point in slinging shit from sidelines.

Anonymous said...

it is not just a slap, but also a punch, kick and many more on dhongi rahul and his bootlocker's face..give them more...

as said...

great job man.

Anonymous said...

Request u to write another article on ds so called 'crowned prince'...
The youth icon.....mind it he is just 42...deserves more disgrace.

bakwas bong said...

hi.like the last line most. Diggy Piggy is heluva of a person to hang with.

anupam verma said...

wow !! I missed it earlier - seems so apt now :-)

Rajesh Singh said...

I salute to the guy who has written such brave letter. Keep writing in same fashion

vinod said...

I would like to see if something is in line for madam renuka choudry, the congressi radio !

being_cynical said...

Not exactly a letter but in one of my articles I have written a stanza and two on her. Here you can find http://www.beingcynical.com/2012/04/few-of-personalities-who-irritate-me.html

Anonymous said...

A marvellous letter to a moron like raul! I hope he reads your letter and gets the gist of it

4thaugust1932 said...

Rahul Gandhi is suffering from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_principle

bpkalia said...

Sanjay Nirupam should be ignored by
BJP.Nirupam is an uncivilised man as I am from his parliament
constituency and met him twice.He is little bit psych and I am worried
how such people get elected .

absolute said...

this site is full of poor content entries.

Pratul Gupta said...

Gujarat before Modi- Icons and landmarks like Amul, Anand University, IIM, Kandla Port, IIFCO, KRIBHCO,Tata Mithapur Sada Ash Salt, Petrochemical complex Vodadra, Bharuch, Chemical zone from Vapi to Ankleshwar, Textiles Ahemdabad, Arvind Mills, Gandhinagar, Shipbreaking Alang, Narmada Dam, Cotton, Sugarcane, Tobacco, Edible Oils Rajkot, Agrochemicals Pesticides, Drugs and Pharma, Cipla, Cadilla, Lyka, Atul, Dyes and Chemicals, Fertilizers, GSFC, GACL, GNFC, GSPC, IPCL, GMDC, Hazira complex Reliance, Essar, L&T, Ports GMB, Art Silk, Synthetic Textiles Diamonds Surat, Oil and Gas Halol Khambhat Ankleshwar, Cement Gujarat Ambuja, Binani Cement Kutch, Jamnagar Refineries, Dahej Petro complex, Navodaya Schools, General Motors, Mundra Port, rise of business class, Tatas, Ambanis, Mafatlal, Lalbhais, Diamond merchants of Palanpur, Art Literature Theatre.


Gujarat during Modi- Godhra, Riots, Genocide, Mass Murder and Rapes 2002, fake encounters, hate speeches, death of culture, Tata Nano, toothless Lokayukta, Major Roads by NHAI (Delhi), swine flu, malnutrition despite Central funds, rise and rise of Adanis, Adanis, only Adanis, Gujrat debt at record high Rs.1.5 trillions. Modi fit for serving tea to Adanis and Ambanis''



2012-2013 FDI : Maha 27 percent Gujrat 2.7 percent (right 2 point 7 percent) , so muuuch of hype about Modi by Uppercaste M'fkrs

4thaugust1932 said...

Known devil is better than an Unknown angel :-)

G.Kashinath said...

Simply brilliant. Write to other morons also.

Munisammappa said...

Rahul will bring in religious conversion bill which will provide sops to dalits and backwards to get out racists hindu fold. He will rule India with most intellectual young cabinet and put India on fast track.


Rahulji Jindabad, Shame on RSS propaganda

Leave a reply

My Tweets

Followers

At Present Online