This is how the pan-India sardonic of the poor started. No, I am not going as back as the 1971 ‘Garibi Hatao’ gimmicks of Indira Gandhi, though no abuse of the poor can ever possibly surpass the sumptuousness of that Congress nonsense. As early as last week, our planning commission (PC), whom I always denote as the wickedest piece of armchair advisory board one can have, actually demarcated a new guideline to decide who among us is poor. Though a good 40% of our nation never gets a chance to see how a plate full meal looks like, for these morons in our PC, the delineation of poor seem to hold a whole new bizarre connotation. For them if one gets to earn Rs 33/- in urban areas and Rs 25/- in rural areas is for sure not poor. So as conveniently as one can buckskin the misdemeanor of the Congress party since independence and this UPA government of last 10 years in particular, the PC rolled out figures serpentine enough to take the meaning of the word insanity to a whole new level and proclaimed how the number of poor have dramatically abridged in last 7 years. All thanks to the astounding governance of Manmohan Singh with consecrations of the Rajmata.
Now, how weird are the numbers of the PC is for anyone to see and judge. It is no secret how such falsified numbers help this government save its face at a time when our economy along with our Rupee going down anywhere but to the drains. When it was evident of the presence of a disgraceful endeavor at saving this wicked government’s skin from some imminent reproving, for making a mess of this nation; so clear for even Congress’s own allies to object to such manhandled numbers, Congress was all but trying with its life to defend PC’s so called findings. You scratch my back, I scratch yours; you know? In this very act of reciprocal back scrabbling, the equally notorious spokespersons of the party always come handy. Be it beguiling the nauseating art of pseudo-secularism or Modi bashing or for that matter, hoodwinking the nation at a large scale; Congress always lets loose a gang of its rabid spokespersons from the stable to create mayhem on nation’s utilitarian thinking. In one such fooling session, a scamp going by the name Raj Babar did what this Congress party is master at doing; insulted the nation without even blinking his eyelids. While people at the press brief were all but dumbstruck in assimilating the fact that Rs 33/- is the threshold for being called a poor, this moron was defending any such flabbergasting idiocy of PC by throwing incongruous examples, left-right-and-center. As per him, a person can eat stomach-full in Mumbai and still his wallet wouldn’t reduce a penny beyond Rs 12/-. No hang-on, he is not a conventional moron to just throw crabbiness like Rahul Gandhi and run away. He in fact proved himself a more graceful moron by elucidating what exactly he means by stomach-full. ‘Do bade, bade Roti aur do Sabzi aap kha shakte ho’, he expounded the amount of food you can get by paying just Rs 12/-. So much in just Rs 12/-? Seriously? Hell with what he said; it would be more interesting to know what he was smoking since early morning.
As if there was a sprint for the award of insanity. Within hours another good-for-nothing entity, residing 2000 miles away from Raj Babbar, thought to better the incongruity of his colleague from Mumbai. This new found record holder of farcicality, ladies and gentlemen, goes by the name Rasheed Masood. He in fact found Raj Babbar an utter nonsense to quote a very high number. For this lout, Rs 5/- is all that you need to eat plenty full in Delhi and still be left with enough change to have a drink or two. Well, I made up that drink part but trust me, the way this joker talked so great about the value of Rs 5/-, I thought he might very well be hinting at that.
When it comes down to affront the nation, you are sadly mistaken if you think it is the sole propriety of Congress party? Will our politicians from other parties let Congress take that coveted award of insulting the nation without giving a much needed fight? There you go. There comes the advent of a certain Farooq Abdullah. He in fact made Rasheed Massod sound like a disciple of Dalai Lama in comparison. And what are the explicit whizzes of Farooq Sahib? Yes, you can have more than enough even by paying Rs 1/-. ‘Aap Ek Rupaye se bhi aapna pet bhar shakte ho’, he told, to the dismay of a congregated crowd. I wonder, if that so, what capacity our politicians have, to eat thousands of crores in corruption when they very well can satisfy their urge in Rs 1/-. But something doesn’t apply to high-altitude morons like these fags, I guess. Hence the ‘Pet Bharne Ki’ limit is well cutout for the crooks swarming the Congress deck and we lesser idiotic mortals. No?
But you know what, I didn’t just blasted at these finest gentlemen on basis of their ludicrousness. I decided to double check, if these folks may just be right with their assertion. There comes the litmus test (read reality check) for me as I stopped by a road side eatery, where I usually have my morning plate of Wada-Sambar. Though I know the charges of a plate of Wada-Sambar, I asked him, what he can offer me in Rs 5/- only. He gave me that inquisitorial look – ‘has this jackass gone insolvent overnight’? After a transitory hush came the reply; nothing or at best you can take a smell of this Sambar. How dare you, I retaliated. Aren’t you mindful of what Congress is saying? Are you not serious about your own safety? Haven’t you heard of something called 66-A; I concluded a set of bullying enquires in one breath. Do you want to go to jail for vilifying the Congress ideology so openly? I warned again. Not sure what impact my caveats indoctrinated in him, he looked at me unfazed and said – ‘In Congression ki Maa Ki %$#@$$%&*. Unki Baap ne kabhi khaya tha pura pet 5 Rupaye main?’, with an equal intimidating tone. Hopelessly arrogant creature this Wada-wala is, I tell you. Doesn't know how to respect the feather touched pious and considerate party like Congress. It is time we send this bloody Tamil Anna and his screwed up Hindi, both together to the Raj Babbar School Of Economics in a hurry. Rascal!!