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Friday, March 12, 2010

Non State Actors

Team Being Cynical
Can this be introduced as a single word in Oxford dictionary along with coveting Asif Ali Zardari in a grand function for coining it and also announcing it as a watershed event and the second best thing that could have happened to mankind after the discovery of zero? What Mr. 10% wanted to elaborate through this not so long phrase. Does he wanted to mean that all those who don't act for the state are Non State Actors? Does Pakistan state has a production house? Are all those moviewalas fall into this category as they act in movies but not for the state. Is Mr. Sharukh Khan also a Non State Actor of India? Am I also a double Non State Actor as I neither act in movies nor for the state? No wonder this very firey phrase put all our ministers in a jittery along with the Sarkar as a whole. Not entirely because of the context on which it was phrased but the Babus up in the food chain had to mow down few tons of dictionaries to figure out the meaning being closest and best suited.

As the intellectuals kept on struggling to find the meaning of this historical word the world along with Sastri Bhawan and it's inhabitants, more precisely the dhoti clad inhabitants moved forward. After submitting dossier number 117 to Pakistan in a recently concluded discussion between State Actors of both the states, it seems our Home minister is gradually coming to terms with the word. But hang on, said one of the participants of the neighborhood Chaiwala Tapri's group discussion. We haven't seen Mrs.Nirupama Rao acting. Have we? any movie of the Raj Kumar era might be?

I am not that sure if Mr.Salman Basir acts for Pakistan or not either. So conclusively Mrs.Rao is a Non State Actor while on benefit of doubts Mr.Basir is a State Actor. Came out the result of the group discussion. For the benefit of all those hapless chaps and all Indians in larger context our ministry of external affairs should ask for a list of all the State Actors of Pakistan, which I believe won't be too long. This would solve two problems. First, we would have a clear idea of all those in Pakistan's acting fraternity and secondly would help group discussions to zero in on all the Basirs and their acting stature, of the other end, so that none is given any
benifit of doubt. Now this suggestion of mine, if implemented, could be another watershed event and might be the 3rd best thing happening to India, if not the mankind.

In the interview that followed the meeting of the state actors Mr.Bashir holding the dossier no 117 in his hand started ridiculing it's previous 116 siblings. According to him all 116 are not worth calling evidence but are piece of litterateurs. Great acting, must be a State Actor he is. As soon I started to feel, all these meeting are heading no where, he threw the tantrums by explaining the meaning of the word Non State Actors. Now the guys at Oxford and the intellectuals at universities across the globe must be breathing easy. According to the greatest State Actor I have seen, Non State Actors are all those entities who doesn't come under or they run away illegally from the State's authority and might and it also carry a perception angle too. So in short, our house maid is a genuine State Actor but when it comes to my wife's perception she is a completely Non State Actor as she always manages to skip away from the might of my wife's authority. A brave lady our maid is. This further elaboration suggest that a person at the same time can be a State as well as a Non State Actor. In fact according to Bhagwat Gita all person belong to both types at some point or the other. So Mr. Zardari was trying to indirectly interpret Bhagwat Gita in his own way.

What about Raj Thakrey? He is a completely Non State Actor when it comes to bash few helpless Bhayias at the same time behaving a nice State Actor when he goes to metropolitan judge to beg for his bail. He is a smart follower of Bhagwat Gita, I must say. Donning both the roles in a span of 1/2 an hour only. You can't be that fast Raj. So you fall into a third category: State/Non State Dramewazs. See Mr.Zardari, we are taking your legacy forward. So this conclusions tell that all the LET, Alquida, JEM, JUD guys are Non State Actors as they don't come under Pakistan's authority. I can understand our maid becoming a Non State Actor for my wife but how these hard core conspirators are becoming one. If so, is the state of Pakistan sleeping when they were getting into the Non State mode gradually. As we have already supplied 117 no of litterateurs, I hope it would help all and everyone in Pakistan, including 10% and all those Non State Actors to gain some knowledge of English and come up with a more logical phrase than this in future.

Zardari effect is catching up fast into our day to day life. When Mr.Sharma's canine got mad and went on a rampage of testing it's jaw strength, landing half a dozen people including our society sweeper in local hospital lining for rabies injection, he was summoned to clarify on this very unruly act of his dog. When he was asked on what ground few will suffer from seven painful injections and all with unbearably smelling toilets, he answered the best way it could have been. See I am extremely sorry for this unfortunate incidence and have my sympathy to those six people who were been punctured and to all for the smelling toilets, but there is little I can do. Because it is the act of the Non State Actor dog who has gone mad and is estranged. But when was the dog behaving like a State Actor to begin with, remain un-answered. Mr.Zardari, could you please come to the rescue of Mr.Sharma? Your 10% is assured.

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