On Talking Terms Again

It is strikingly similar and irritating like a high budget third graded movie- like Roop Ki Rani, Choron Ki Raja. Almost everything that is available going in and yet failed miserably at the box office. I am not here talking about any latest Ram Gopal Verma flop but our adventure of getting onto the talk table with our honourable neighbour.

But the irony is - what we are going to talk and in which terms? Haven't we talked close to a million times on the whole issue of cross border terrorism and how Pakistan intentionally or un-intentionally is a party to the nuisance? Have they improved even an ounce from the last time we talked to them? If our approach to the talk is to project Pakistan a global cancer, then again we are not going to achieve much- as in the whole world is already aware of it. So what is that we are going to achieve with this latest talk is any body's guess, well at least mine. But our foreign affairs office sleuths think otherwise. As per them, there is still a lot to gain from these bilateral talks. Lot to gain ? what is that 'LOT' contains? Hope not few more 26/11 or few thousand more Jehadis infiltrating our ever porous border.

As usual when Mrs.Nirupama Rao along with a bunch of confused looking entities flown to Islamabad for yet another round of talks, all hailed it a significant step. God knows how many such significant steps we have already taken and would continue to take. Strangely till now only steps are taken but never moving forward. Anyways lets not be too serious about comedy movies. They are there for some quick fun and lets laugh around till it lasts. As expected the comedy started the moment Mrs.Rao landed her foot in Islamabad. Guess who must be there to receive her at the airport - Director General (South Asia) Afrasiab Mehdi Hashmi. A much senior individual than the required protocol. His presence might give an impression on how serious Pakistan is this time around for some constructive steps. But keep your thoughts to limits till you get to know this man's unique qualities- over and above being a sound diplomat.

More than his diplomacy Mr.Hashmi is popular for his extra curricular activities in Pakistani diplomatic circle. He is touted as one of the best face readers ever to roam around Pakistani streets. He can even read the face of utterly confused looking (like our contingent) individuals and pin point on what exactly to be expected from them. Above the face reading stuff he is equally a powerful fortune teller. This brilliance of his came to the light of the world way back when Ziaul Haq was planning a visit to the UN and during a preparatory meeting of Pakistan embassy folks he promptly said he won't be coming tomorrow. And to surprise all Zia died the next day mysteriously in a plane crash. So armed with this phenomenal supernatural power he was there to receive Mrs. Rao. More than receiving her may think he was actually stationed at the airport to get the opportunity of fast hand reading of the Indian diplomat's face and what all she is planning to say or which way she is going to act or react. Funny isn't it.

I feel sorry for Pakistani government. Not because for stationing a face reader but because their lack of common sense. Do they really need a face reader to know what to expect? Do they think our diplomats and politicians would go anything beyond the famous words 'All Options Are Open and we urge Pakistani government to curb down terrorism'? So the duty of Mr Hasmi as a face reader fall flat on it's face and turned out to be a futile exercises. Better employ someone to carry out a black magic thing next time, where the recipient of the magic would die of vomiting blood. Because what you expect from any of our diplomats and politicians is a pretty monotonous one. So why waste your energy in some comedy.

So another rounds of talks were over. The so called sideline talks of our home minister which followed immidiately next was also over and we were honoured with yet again a million promises from Pakistan of stopping cross border terrorism and we came back jolly good after having some Pesawari delights, only to find the Pakistani establishment doing a U-turn (as directed by their ISI & Army bosses) as usual. So what's the net output of these talks - Hafeez Saeed can't be stopped from delivering hate speeches against India. Ahh.. we are made ourselves a bunch of jokers yet again. We again become a laughing point on lunch hour breaks across the globe and of course we are ready again for another round of talks some time soon and ready with our latest dossier number 120.

But a suggestion for whoever would be heading for the next round of talks- Just be careful of any black magic chap receiving you. Or else we might just end up saying RIP.