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Friday, July 9, 2010

Indian Railways: Largest Loo Network

Team Being Cynical
Why can't we be little sophisticated, if not sober is all what I think whenever I travel by Indian Railways. When we are capable of sending an unmanned toy to moon, calling it as the Chandrayan and tout ourselves in the verge of manufacturing our indigenous Cryogenic engine, can't we think a better way to give our loos a modernised look in our Railways? If not for comfort at least shouldn't we develop a better disposal mechanism, rather than making all our Railway tracks along with the platforms perhaps the largest and longest toilet network of the world?

Anyone who had travelled via our Railways would have some reservation in calling those obnoxious looking small cabins at the end of the boogies as toilets. A steel base with a hole down which would help you see the moving tracks below when the train is in motion is far from termed as a toilet. All what the patrons left to do is to spread out above that hole and drop down whatever they can. The quantity is never a concern, so does the location. Thanks to this legendary loo engineering even a blind man can spot the Railway station in any city as the aroma of fresh drops on the platform would hit your nose the moment you are anywhere near 200 meters of the station. The beauty that this natural artwork adds to our already filthy Railway stations is for anyone one to see and worth appreciating. But to amuse all our Railway authorities think we Indians are sober enough (even when we are travelling) to read the scribes written on the door advising individuals to refrain from the dirty work when the train is in stations. That's too much of an expectation when we are not even considerate to our constitution and flaunt it in every level that too openly to agree to some idiot's suggestion written on the door panel. I have seen entities give their bladders and bowels a lock and eagerly wait for the stations to come, so that they can do away with their dropping exercise without bothering for the unwanted jerk that a moving train provides. In fact the toilets are found mostly occupied on stations with few more in line in the wait list to contribute generously to the beauty of the platform.

Other than the platforms this loo mechanism works as a mayhem for the general populace of the city who might have got nothing to do with the moving train or the entity inside the loo. Every time the train passes over a bridge in the city area the bikers apply their brakes as hard as they can and stop few yards before the bridge - A part out of respect and another part out of self respect. Our trains might be painfully slow but the stuffs flying out of it are oppositely faster. Even our over bridges have adequate size strategically placed openings to let the drops go through them with ease ornamenting the unfortunate individual on the road who might not be aware of this trick. Just wondering why to have bridges ? Let there be the old fashioned level crossings as the traffic comes to a grinding halt whenever a train passes over the bridge on both side, much like the level crossings.

Our stride towards having the world's largest loo network was cut short when Mamta Didi suggested something called green (I always thought them to be yellow though. My mistake) loo. I am not sure how far green we became but the whole idea failed miserably. After the green thing was announced I happened to travel in one of the trains which was marked to have a green loo on experimental basis. More than my journey I was excited to have that honour of having a glance at that green loo. No sooner I entered the loo, I was disappointed to see the same steel base with a slightly bigger (chances of toddlers going down to the track below) hole. Is this the green thing (a bigger hole) Mamta Didi was talking about, I asked the attendant. I don't know what I got as a reply but for sure I was more confused than I were to begin with and had that sudden urge of relieving myself down that hole to the track below.

Keep this in mind, the elaboration is for the AC boogie toilets. How devastating our sleeper coach toilets are is any one's guess. Can't we think of someway of storing the unwanted stuff somehow and getting them disposed on stations in some civic way? Perhaps we are capable of finding water on moon surface but not brilliant enough to contain this water and last nights rotten Railway food extract from flying out from all directions of our Railway boogies. Till we get to that green loo thing it's better to have a deodorant bottle handy while on stations or if at all you see a train going over a bridge stay away from it and pray to God that the things flying out are not fast enough to splash your face from that distance and you look more civilized when you are back at your home.

4 comments:

  1. hey, really commendable work. The humour+rationale of this article has swept me off my feet. I would like you to let me know your email id, my email is jyotindranath@youthunited.in
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  2. Thanks anonymous for these encouraging words. We would be definitely in touch.

    Great Day

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  3. Great blog with engaging words.

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  4. Its very nice and very thoughtful write-up, shows the perfect and minute observation, but do you suggest any wayout on this?

    ReplyDelete

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