The Minority Report - Lalu's Version

Not that I wasn’t aware of this, but yesterday it was confirmed beyond any doubt that Lalu Prasad Yadav is a big embarrassment to Indian democracy. The little hope that I had of him turning useful for the nation at least once in his life span crashed badly on account of his unnecessary blabber and ranting on the floor of the house on an entire non-issue.
 

Non-issue, because the job at hand was to table the much awaited Lokpal bill. A matter that the entire nation wants to be debated, argued with genuine reasons and vigor was marred with some non-required gimmickry by Lalu in his trademark style. This is not only an insult to the civil society but also to the nation itself. Rather than realizing the gravitas of the situation, Lalu made a mockery of the whole process by his extraneous outburst on anyone and everyone remotely related to Jan Lokpal.
 

Though such acts of vandalism is always expected from a seasoned clown like Lalu and we all should ignore it outright; the concerns he raised (may be for personal gain) can’t be ignored with that ease. Even though the political career of Lalu is diminishing faster than that of Harbhajan Sing’s cricketing career, yet the reasoning and demands he furnished and subsequently the agility of the Government in accepting the demands within no time, tells something for which we all must be concerned.
 

I just want to ask this to all the Lalus and clowns alike of the world – when we for once keep the votebank politics out of serious issues dealing with National Interest and security? This looks grossly filthy and intolerable when people like Lalu and Gurudas Dasgupta having fractured agenda try to hijack a serious discussion to a nonsensical proportion by popping up complete non-issues. More intolerable it becomes when we see the farce unfolding very unholy way throughout the day and yet can’t do anything to stop the callousness.
 

There were many flaws and disjoints to the arguments of Lalu Yadav. To begin with, when it is not even yet decided in which form the bill would be passed, jumping the gun and arguing against the proposed guideline of forming the panel of ombudsmen for the Lokpal is not only premature but also childish. The manner in which the issue of missing minority quota in the panel was dragged out of context and argued upon, made many wonder if Lalu’s reaction to the issue was spontaneous or was it a planned move in connivance with the ruling party? A close look at the nature of oration and an unnecessary dig at the BJP and RSS without any considerable reasons or proof show the whole drama was more stage-managed than spontaneous.
 

The initial proposal had the mention of minority quota in the panel of ombudsmen of Lokpal which surprisingly was omitted when the bill was tabled in the parliament.

This seems to have angered an opportunist individual like Lalu, who after seeing the debacle of his party in Bihar has this last resort left to hook on to the minority vote chunk so that his political career could still remain afloat. While the reason behind such omission is still not clear, Lalu had his conspiracy theory ready as usual. As per him, it is the BJP and RSS who put tremendous pressure on the Government to do the chopping work. This is obnoxious and brainless accusation to say the least. You need to be a complete insane to believe BJP-RSS combine have enough clout to put pressure on the Government.
 

When there isn’t much coherence between the ruling party and BJP, how effective the demand to chop the minorities from the panel, made to a party who are known conceiver of appeasement and votebank politics and thrive on minority votes, is anybody’s guess. RSS? Really? At this juncture Lalu needs to elaborate, how in earth RSS came to the picture of a democratic framework and legislation when the Sangh doesn’t have a single representative in the house nor they are a political party. Even though there is a close association of RSS with BJP, it still looks questionable if RSS is in a position to force the Government to let go their favorite route and abide by their idea. Lalu needs to do some serious explanation as it is about time that nonsense on the floor of the house be dealt with iron fist so that nefarious elements like Lalu and many other are refrained from opening their mouth and uttering all the nonsense one could.
 

More surprises followed after this outburst of Lalu. Best of them is the agility of the Government in accepting the demands of Lalu within hours. Now this raises a concern as far as our constitution is concerned. Does our constitution anywhere allow quota on the basis of religion? Perhaps not. Then the ground on which Congress agreed to have that for Lokpal seems questionable. No wonder BJP is up-in-arms for such blatant violation of the constitution. The argument of the Congress party that minority doesn’t necessarily means religion but a group of people and hence can be accommodated, is nothing but a futile attempt at some dirty hogwash. 
 

The entire script seems straight out of a Bollywood flick. First, adding minority quota in Lokpal while drafting; then removing it while tabling. The uproar of the parliament architected by the perpetual clown Lalu and subsequently the quota being reinstalled. Isn’t there something fishy in the whole drama? Doesn’t it look like as if it was well scripted behind closed doors and enacted on the floor so that the Government can further delay in signing their own death warrant?
 

Amidst all this confusion, one thing is certain – ‘Now the MPs can earn money from the Government by their illogical and out of tune oration ’. How? Just ask Lalu and Gurudas Dasgupta, as they accomplished a paid oration job for the Government yesterday only.