Our Diplomacy Is A Pizza Corner

I don’t blame the Italians. Rather I am happy that, unlike India at least there is a government which is standing by its citizens. For good or bad; illegal or legal; something which we may debate as much as we can but the gesture shown by the Italian government in safeguarding the interest of its citizens is commendable. And let’s face it; the travesty that seem to have brewed from nowhere is a self-created hara-kiri and it is we and our incompetent government which should be impugned squarely.

When the news of such a sham broke for the first time on news channels, honestly I was not astonished a little bit. Looking at the recent developments and the complete lack of professionalism shown by our grossly ineffectual team from MEA, such upheaval was well expected in advance. In a region where we go berserk in blowing our own trumpet of us being a major player and how we are little short of getting into that elite superpower rank, countries like Maldives, Nepal and Bhutan showing their middle fingers to us quite regularly is for sure are spectacles. Routinely we get snubbed by countries which one will struggle to point out in the world map. Routinely we are making one neighbor or the other turn hostile, and in the process making us a laughing stock across the globe. The complete mismanagement of our foreign affairs in the hands of self-serving morons is largely the catalyst behind such international disgrace.

Be it, Nepal going the way of China or the relationship with Sri Lanka that turned sore since we never gave it a serious thought to the proposal of Singhali government to build a port at Hambantota, which eventually the Chinese latched upon since they were more than eager to take it up; it was only mess that we see from our MEA. Even the latest maladministration of Maldives’s political turmoil is another example of our MEA getting all dressed up to go nowhere. Allowing Nasheed to take asylum in our embassy, there by icing the hostility with the ruling government was as inexplicable as was asking Nasheed to get out of our embassy after couple of weeks. Got to think of the temperament and thought process of the inept lot posted in serious positions to even come up with such bizarre diplomatic steps when the call of the hour was to have some maturity in handling the crisis. In nutshell, we have screwed up our relationship with almost all our neighbors since we love to install sycophants, instead of competent people, even in serious positions like the external affairs minister. When we have a man who best believes the international diplomacy is all about flying around business class with an entire crew of cooking staffs to serve hot food to his counterparts, we turning ourselves synonym to comedy central is anything but predictable. I won’t be surprised if people around the globe would be rolling on the floor laughing, the moment the name India gets flashed on their TV screens. Why? Because, over a period of one year we have made staid mockery of ourselves; so much so that it is only legitimate that we call ourselves a disgrace to international diplomacy. And if possible a Banana Republic as well. 

When the Maldives episode started to go wrong for us, I was happy. Happy because I thought we have reached the bottom of the pit in impairing our self-esteem and from here we can only improve our diplomacy. But our corrupt government always has a surprise or two up their sleeves. Don’t they? From nowhere a set of marines who are accused of a serious crime like killing Indians in Indian water were allowed to go back to their country to vote. We always were a good host and we displayed it again, only to find later that the marines aren't coming back as promised by their ambassador and we are advised by the Italian government to go to hail. Phew!! A real long story cut short.

Now here is the thing. Jail leave on account of voting? Seriously? How unfair it was on the part of our authorities for not sending Kasav and Afzal Guru to their homes during Eid. But it is not the real problem. The problem is how conveniently we as a nation along with our entire judiciary framework were taken for a ride. This possess serious question mark on our credibility to manage ourselves as a rapidly developing nation. How often you have heard of instances where offenders of serious crimes were allowed to go to their native countries for merrymaking? Which country accommodates such fancy procedures, that too when the offenders are of foreign origin, accused of killing its citizens in cold blood? A Google search may throw other instances of a particular government going insane but for me; I never have heard or seen such school boyish act enacted by an accountable sovereign.

The explanations given by Congress members and their cronies are further unbelievable. Just because the marines had gone back home a  couple of months back during Christmas, only to return back as promised, we thought of making ourselves a fool one more time when they requested to go back again to cast their votes. While people are busy mudslinging since Sunday, none is asking this inept government on the specifics that convinced them to send the marines during Christmas at the first place. There are millions who are languishing in our jails and how many of them are routinely allowed to go out for merrymaking or celebrating a festival with their family members? Perhaps none. Then what is so special about these Italian Marines that we have allowed them of such luxury twice in as many months? Forget about other petty criminals; what about four other Italian nationals locked up in our jails for variety of offences? We don't send them to take a bite of authentic Italian pizza ever. This is where; the whole business of this parole nonsense looks murkier.

The manner in which our government has gone out of the way to accommodate such bizarre request raises more than just questions. It raises a concern on our judiciary, which was all but conned into accepting the written assurances of the Italian ambassador on dotted lines. I do understand the Geneva Convention and the immunity that the diplomats enjoy thereof but can we just sit and watch someone taking advantage of such clauses and make fun of our apex court. Isn’t the envoy of Italy liable of prosecution for lying intentionally to our supreme court? If we can’t apprehend the moron then we must held our CJI Altmas Kabir who passed such a judgment accountable. Someone has to be answerable and someone needs to pay for such jeering of our criminal justice system. I really don’t care if it is someone from Italy or someone from our side.

Even our additional solicitor general need to answer some tough questions. He is the man who gave no objection to this ‘parole for voting’ nonsense. Being the ASG, wasn’t he aware of the provisions that were prevalent in Italian voting frameworks? As part of his homework before furnishing his NOC, couldn’t he read the English translated version of Italian government’s official website? Couldn’t he or any of his worthless assistants read through the paragraph where it clearly talks about the ‘postal ballot’ mechanism available in Italy? Couldn’t he suggest the SC to decline any such weird request of the marines and advise them to go for postal ballot instead? I am not saying the gaffe is intentional on the part of the ASG. Even if it is a mistake then it still calls for the ouster of such hopeless individuals who even lack seriousness in matters involving two sovereign nations and their relationship. Can we allow such jokers in such important positions and sabotage our credentials before international community? Not only the ASG but even the idiot who proposed such a clown must also be held accountable.
 

But, here for the first time I agree to one point of these Congress bigmouths. We can’t always blame and bring Sonia Gandhi just because the marines happen to be Italians. But that said, the backdoor dealings in this whole mess can’t be ruled out entirely. May not be the Sonia Gandhi connection but something else. The more I think of the chronology that lead to such a situation the more I think of the ongoing Augasta westland chopper scam investigation in Italy. And don’t be surprised if a deal is reached to help the already under pressure Italian government for not helping the arrested marines in exchange of a promise to not make the names of all those hawks of south block involved in the mega crore chopper scam public. Or am I reading too much between the layers of cheese?