Dear Digvijay Singh,
See, I for a change took your complete and full name. This itself should come as a refreshing change for you. For some time, people have forgotten your real name as suitable adjectives have long replaced your loving appellation and I am sure you won’t be feeling very good about this. Forget the adjectives; even a name which synonyms with someone who has conqured the world, in reality is doing some first grade rear licking of a false dynasty. This itself is a shame to your name and your parents who have thought their son would concur the world someday. I bet the couple would be turning in their graves looking at their son and the amazing bootlicking capabilities thereof. Even the adjectives are quite a jolt to your astounding persona. Don’t they? I mean Diggy, Doggy, Raja Babu, Gutter mouth, Diggy the rear licker; heavens. This is so disparaging for a person who once was the chief minister of a state and that too as big as Madhya Pradesh.
While the world don’t really think much about you or your name without a Maa-Behen Gaali tucked therein, I for sure respect, if not you but your parents who must have given your name with pride and affection. And as it is, for your nonsense your parents shouldn’t be shamefaced at any cost. Hence your complete name to start with.
Coming back to the agenda of this mail. Are you a human? I mean, I thought it is only God who knows everything that’s happening on the face of the planet. But how wrong I was with my perception, I tell you. You come as a breath of fresh air and a human encyclopedia with knowledgebase so vast even to shame all the Nobel laureates put together till date and with all probability the laureates to come in next 200 years. The interesting part, as far as your know how is concerned is your accomplishment in knowing every secret to the last molecule, when it comes to some kind of controversy. I mean the controversies that could project BJP, all Hindu centric organizations or for that matter Narendra Modi in bad light. That’s quite interesting, let me assure you. How could of all the people Hemant Karkare thought of calling you and let know his fear? I mean, the threat calls that he was routinely getting from Sangh people since he was head-over-heels in unearthing the RSS link in Malegaon and Samjhota Express blasts. I was sure about you but never thought Mr. Karkare to be so dumb to confine in you with such volatile information. I can’t simply digest that he was not aware of your gutter mouth talents and how big a nuisance you are at large, to open up with such sensitive stuffs. It’s not your problem Singh Saheb; I feel pity on the maturity level of our late ATS chief for such hara-kiri. He could have gone down the street and could have picked up absolutely anyone, if he has that huge urge of letting know the threats to his life, but you?
Another aspect of your life that urges me to replace your name with the word ‘shameless’ is your unconditional tongue, hanging out with drools dripping, in search of some Gandhi family boots to lick at any given instance. Doesn’t matter if that pair of leathers are those of a person, half of your age with no brains. How shameful it is on the part of an ex CM who readily cleans the toilet bowls of Gandhi household as part of his daily itinerary. Is your life so cocooned with the shit of Gandhi dynasty and a certain Rahul Gandhi? I mean, given a chance you may well agree to be tied down by your neck and crawl alongside Rahul Baba wherever he goes. Won’t you? I don’t deny, except getting yourself tied by the neck with other end of the rope in the hands of some Gandhi family member (including Priyanka’s kids), you are pretty much doing the rest. That also includes barking unnecessarily for your masters but does that qualify one to be a so called political leader; even with respect to Congress standards? There is something called sycophancy but you are in fact much above this dreaded word which is an official syndrome with each member of the Congress party. What’s the take dear Diggy Raja when you delightfully lose your very own identity so that you get some first family posteriors on daily basis to lick? So flabbergasting, not only for an ex CM but also for a man at your age; let me tell you.
By the way, what your Baba is up to nowadays? Since the days the theatrical clown lost badly in the UP election, where you happened to be his advisor; he pretty much has gone underground. He even not had been seen off late hobnobbing with a dreaded specimen like you either. Though I appreciate him for taking my advice with sincerity, where I have warned him of dire consequences if he continues mingling with you any further, but still it looks awfully disoriented when you get the snub after such a long period of tireless service for the dynasty. I feel sorry for you Diggy, I really feel sorry for you. The world is such gratitude less place. No?
But did that stop you from Rahul arse worshiping? When the prince himself is chickening out by the mere mention of the word priminister, you just not were agreeing to let your guards down. Do you? Even though half of the Congressi lot have consoled themselves with the fact that running a nation is no job of a pizza delivery boy, you still continue with your trumpet of Rahul magnanimity and tell us what exactly the heir apparent wanted to convey when he chickened out. When even his own mother is not sure what to do now since the prince refused to wear the crown, you are there to throw at us a different perspective with your grammar-Nazi qualities. You dissect the utterances of your master with all possible past, future and future-continuous tenses to let all of us know, how the prince in fact was conveying his readiness for the top job; not his refusal as we all thought it to be. I salute your scale of absurdity where even straight words don’t gel with the wavelength of your minimal brain.
One more important thing Diggy Bhai. For you, all that happens against the rogues like SIMI or Indian Mujahideen is wrong and fabricated? In fact for you even what happened to a skunk called Osama Bin Laden was wrong. If that is not enough, in all likelihood you could very well have conferred Bharat-Ratna to Osamaji, given a chance. Ohh yes, when scoundrels who carry out terror attacks on our soil remain innocent for you, you find people like Baba Ramdev and Anna Hazare thugs and touts? How nonsensical.. Err.. Secular one can get from here? Perhaps going to the houses of the bastards who blew up few dozen in a recent blast and vouch for their innocence? No? Batla house was a fake encounter since few peace loving youth who mistakenly fired rocket launchers at Delhi police during the raid were killed? And as routine to your habit of knowing all the secret of the world, you are sure that Inspector Sharma wasn’t killed by those rabid ruffians in the house but by his own men. Guess, Mr. Sharma must have called you milliseconds before the bullet from his colleague’s gun hit him. No?
How I wish Diggy Raja, a whole monument like Taj Mahal is built on your memory. How I wish your spectacular brain is preserved somewhere for the future generations to come and pay their homage with pure and esthetic astonishment. Astonished because some modern day great would have done an Einstein (his utterances for Mahatma) on you by then and proclaimed – ‘The world would be surprised to know, such a man in blood and flesh ever walked on this planet’. And by the way, ignore people like this person who has replied to my Tweet and doing all the name calling. People like him are just jealous of your possible future and the accolades that you are destined to get worldwide.
Man with a Bamboo