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Thursday, November 20, 2014

Loathsome People Of 2014

Team Being Cynical
This is the time of the year when I publish my regular series ‘The Loathsome Characters’ for the running year. Frankly, this year I am preponing the regular series for various reasons. In fact I am preponing it by a month at least. First and foremost reason is the large number of loathsome characters that polluted our public discourse this year, so much so that, if given another month’s time, the number would swell beyond the fitment of a single post. Second, going forward the likelihood of having this series in every three months instead of a year could always have space to accommodate the astounding figures that would feature in my loathsome list by the time we reach December 31st .

There is another difference to my yearly lists. Though most of my previous lists are heavily crowded by our media people and politicians, this particular list figures some non-media, non-political figures, thanks to their stellar performance in loathsomeness over last 12 months. Thought, this could be a refreshing change for the readers and too mouthwatering to wait any further. So without wasting any time lets jump into the coveted list itself. By the way, the characters ornamented here are according to their degree of loathsomeness, starting with the least.


Americai Narayanan:- This guy is a genius. For the first time in the history of BC’s loathsome list, this chap made the cut by virtue of a single public appearance. While other louts took years of consistent loathsomeness to make it to this list, this gentleman achieved the unachievable in matter of just one masterstroke. The quickest entrant to the list previously was Somnath Bharti but he also took at least three public jingoisms to crack in. The entry of this mega star happened to the fortune of the nation during the Maharashtra & Haryana polling day telecast on Times-Now. Like the proverb – “The best is saved for the last”, the performer par excellence got introduced to the nation in the last debate of the day. And ‘Hell Yeah’, didn’t he make the wait worth of its every nanosecond? While answering Arnav’s fireworks this new found ‘jokes.com’ did what no other Congress spokesperson ever did or would ever dare to do – If you ask me, if there were corruption during UPA rule; Hell yeah, there were but not to the tune they are projected in media; he answered. Wow!! What a revelation. Someone in the panel correctly molded it to a perfect metaphor and compared the same as saying – I am not fully pregnant but slightly pregnant. But I don’t blame him entirely. That is the reason why I have kept him at the least loathsome level. In all probability, it could be his inexperience of how Congress spokies routinely handle the dishonesty of their leaders that lead to this man’s laugh riot moment. Or maybe, someone like Rahul Gandhi at the top can only produce such jokers below the hierarchy. In whichever way, Americai Narayanan achieved his Nirvana of Somnath Bharti moment by just one appearance before us. God save us all if Congress party decides to let lose this cannon on us in future. Need to know if there is an insurance cover available from the catastrophe called Americai Narayanan or not. By the way – Don’t go by his oozing American ascent as the root cause of his name since Americai doesn’t mean he parachuted in India from America to grace all of us with his flamboyance but because it means ‘Humble & Honest’ in Tamil.

Raj Kundra:- Ahh!! The first lout from a different domain. But you know what; crooks have this aura around them which becomes unmistakable on anyone’s part. The day I saw this creature second fiddling alongside Shilpa Shetty and her irritating fake smile, I knew he would make it to my list one day or the other. But never thought that moment will arrive in a matter of just one year. He is in fact the last entry to this year’s list. He has just 12% share in Rajasthan Royals but one look at him or his equally obnoxious second wife; you will feel as if the couple owns half of India. That is not all. This entity, never satisfied with whatever he is earning from IPL, decided to be a great gambler in connivance with another ‘missed by a whisker to make it to the list’ rowdy called Vindoo Dara Singh. This Shilpa Shetty sidekick went ahead leaking insider team stories while having his evening scotch with who’s-who of the betting syndicate. He not only was involved in foul play with the game that India loves most but also roped in jerks like Vindoo Dara Singh and God knows how many more, which the presently tabled Mudgal Committee report would unearth. Now that his name is made public; now that he is certified as a seasoned thug, the great man was seen running to Dubai to consult his big bosses there on ways to iron fence the posterior. By the way, no news of his ‘Celebrator’ ‘ear-to-ear’ smiling wife. She seems to have vanished in thin air. Earlier, both the mistress and the sidekick were seen hand-in-hand, even while going to the loo but post Mudgal Committee, the mistress gone out of the lensman’s frame totally. Where is she?

Nidhi Razdan:- Another regular in the list. Be it her alleged Lalita Pawar act in 2012 to destroy the Omar Abdullah family or her ‘we criticize the supreme court’ spectacle in 2013, she always made it to the list by virtue of being what she is – a bimboo. By the way, ‘Bimboo’ is slang and very close to being the female form of Rahul Gandhi. Though this year she hasn’t created havoc on her own self by any of her foolish acts in particular but her legendry bias against Narendra Modi, particularly after May 16, made her to the list at a relative ease. That is perhaps why she held a debate spanning over 3 days on her lie factory called ‘Left, Right & Center’ to discuss how the mere 31% vote share for Modi is not a national mandate. It is not just a single instance when the bimboo acted too clever by half. Since her show is the gateway to the daily primetime of ‘Nehru Dynasty Television’, she took it on her own to peddle the first installment of lie and biasness against Modi and BJP every single weeknight. The eventualities became such that, for every act of Modi there was a heavily biased Nidhi standing tall to counter with all the falsifications possible. But then prodigies are made up of such materials. Come what may, a true prodigy and a student of Barkha Dutt, never would let his/her guard drop in pursuit of honesty and truth. By the way, truth and honesty are as far from NDTV as comedy is from ‘Comedy Circus’ on Sony TV. So Nidhi becoming what she is; is just the reflection of the school-of-thought that is taught at the prestigious NDTV University.

Robert Vadra:- This great man missed the list last year. And look how the Damadshri bounced back this year with vengeance. As if he asked me ‘Are You Serious’ four times for the grave mistake I committed in omitting his name last year. In any way, when both his mothr-in-law and her sycophant Hooda got kicked one after another, Damadji was bound to make it to the list anyway. Desperate situations always lead to loathsomeness and Vadra Babu justified the saying. In fact Damadji delivered at least five astounding moral bankruptcy spanning over 8 months to be back here. The third on the list of his moral bankruptcy is his pouncing act on a hapless reporter for his truthfulness. And by the way, he is the only six pack entrant in the list. Damadji jubilantly answered the reporter about the finer points of the gym he just inaugurated but lost his cool when he asked about Damadji’s mega loots. “Are You Serious”, the Damadji thundered before shoving away the microphone. Not only that, he also ordered the poor reporter to delete his macho act. If only our democracy is a private at Sonia Gandhi’s bungalow, Damadji would have ordered the beheading of that duffer reporter for disturbing his peace and pinching at a place where it hurts. I agree with Damadji here. I mean, no reporter has any business in anyone’s national loot. More so, when the person is the Damad of a grand political party like Congress. What the reporter did is simply unpardonable and the least he deserves is public hanging.

Gurunath Mieyappan:- All Damads seems to have a field day this year. This is another Damad who made his in-laws life miserable. While Vadra Ji looted the nation, this flavor of Damad looted the belief of people. Like Raj Kundra, Mieyappan worked cohesively and tirelessly with punters to make some quick money from the game, of which he is alleged to be a mere enthusiast. And surprisingly all Damads are projected small. Robert Vadra is a small farmer and Mieyappan Sahib is a small Cricket enthusiast. The only thing not small about them is the amount of loot they did. But our wretched laws don’t quite understand the sentiments. Quite unholy to their virtue, Mr. Mudgal found Damadshri of BCCI a great fraud, so much so that, he even sold his own team for money. Along with his father-in-law, Mieyappan in all likelihood is taking CSK to Tihar very soon. That would be quite a day when he will become the first Cricket enthusiast to do a ‘Krishna Janmsthan’ Darshan. You may ask, how this Damad scored higher in the list than the pan-India Damad? It’s a valid question and I agree he in fact hasn’t. But just to ante the moral of this new entry, in a battle of Damads, I kept him higher than Vadra so that he is encouraged to scale new heights by the time I come up with a fresh list next year.      

Rajdeep Sardesai:- He is again a regular in the list. He is in fact a superstar as far as this list of loathsome characters is concerned. Only thing is that Rohit Shetty hasn’t noticed this gem yet. I was disappointed going into the 6th month of this year when he along with his wife got kicked out of IBN. I was disappointed that this great man won’t make it to the list this year. But how impressively wrong I was, no? He came back to our drawing rooms only in last two months but made it to the list with a bang; quite literally at that. No sooner he got roped in by Headlines-Today, the class act was back to business like a duck takes to water. To make his grand reentry felt, he decided to smash people and their noses in front of Madison square. ‘Dhisoom-Dhissom’, followed by some Maa-Behen adjectives and there you are. The man arrived on the big stage like a phoenix. After his shameless display of martial art prowess, Sardesai Sir did what he does best – wear an Alok Nath face and play victim at once. He pretended as if been attacked by the Modi hooligans and asked his friends in media to massage his ego as well as his broken nose. Even the media pimps jumped into action in name calling until the social media spoiled the plan of great Rajdeep Sardesai. Had there been no interjection by SM, the martyr of humanity and truth, the one-and-only Rajdeep ‘Buy My Book’ Sardesai would have half a dozen monuments built in his name. That said, 6th from the bottom is still an insult to this legend as many of you will agree. I admit; I should have put him way above, if not for Madison square but for his latest tantrum. Didn’t he call someone as item number or something just recently? That scales high in loathsomeness but I felt there is finally some truth in this particular statement of his. Hence didn’t take that into account.  

C.R. Kesavan:- He is again a new entry in the list but look whom he replaced. Someone capable enough to replace the lout called Sanjay Jha deserves his share of ovation. But then, Congress has this unique quality to produce one marvel after another. They started with Digvijay Singh and smartly transferred the baton to young and capable hands of Sanjay Jha. When Mr. Jha got whooped way too often in the hands of Arnav Goswami, the Congress think tank let lose this Kesavan chap to break the monotonicity and to bring that much needed freshness. After all how often can one hear an irritating oaf like Jha? There has to be someone else who can blame Modi and Gujarat 2002 for even his wife’s fading Chaniya Choli. And the prayers of Congress in pursuit of that someone got answered in the form of CR Kesavan. Equally clueless, incoherent, absurd, out of place, low on IQ, sees Modi evil even inside his pant and buffoon like Sanjay Jha. He is the legitimate heir and replacement, not only to take forward the legacy of Sanjay Jha but also to permanently occupy this list year after year. At times I envy the fabulous quality of Congress in digging out such talents at enormous ease. Though Kesavan was given a chance to prove his reputation, he in fact went beyond the expectation levels of his high-command and even shamed Sanjay Jha for being so lenient on Modi all this while. Hope to see this chap every year henceforth.    

K Chandrasekhar Rao:- Do you know what it will produce if lunacy mates charlatanism? Yes, Chandrasekhar Rao. He is Mulayam, Lalu, Mamta, Maya, Digvijay Singh, Salman Khurshid and Mahendra Singh Dhoni rolled into one. Or maybe even more. Since the day he became the CM, this man seems to be in a mission to destroy everything that Andhra Pradesh ever stood for. For this man governance is all about appeasement, even if that means selling the state to the highest bidder. While AP is full of intellectuals and visionaries, both present and past, this man from nowhere thought of installing Sania Mirza as the brand ambassador of the state. It is close to a year and no one knows this so called brand ambassador of the state has done for it. But nonsense and KCR walk side by side. Once the proposal of Telengana as a state was accepted by the center, this useful idiot built a temple of Sonia Gandhi. Now that the state has finally materialized, this moron has gone ahead and planned another set of temples, one for Sonia Gandhi and another for himself. Not stopping at there, this shameless jerk is planning a Muslim exclusive hospital in the state. What next? Muslim exclusive stadium, park, road, bus stop, market, Doas-Idli stall, Sulabh Sauchalaya? I mean, how far this gem can go to appease a particular section of the society in the name of governance? But then, he is KCR, the end product after a mating season of lunacy and charlatanism.

Mamata Banarjee:- It is raining chief-ministers in the list. And if you mark closely, the similarity between KCR and Didi are striking. Only difference, KCR appeases the Muslims of the state while Didi knows no boundary. After all entire world is one big stage and it is the brotherhood… err the sisterhood that prevails. In her mega scheme of things, Didi decided to do better than what her contemporary secular leaders are doing. Yes, she decided to appease the Muslims of Bangladesh as well. Surprised? Then give her just another year and she would be seen appeasing Muslims of Iran, Iraq, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Namibia, Nicaragua and Haiti as well. But Didi’s appeasement has a new angle than the mundane way of others. She in fact allows hardcore terrorists from Bangladesh to infiltrate and reside in the state. Not only that. To make the lives of these terrorists easy, she issues them Voter-ID and ration cards. If that doesn’t suffice, she even asks her partymen to rent them their houses for making bombs to be blasted in India during different festivities. If at all these special guests of Didi get caught like Burdwan, she ensures that her police force works overtime to wipe out any evidence that may lead to the ‘can of worm’ proverb. But hey, she is another flag bearer of secularism. A detailed study says, post CPI(M) it is the goons of TMC that are ruling the street of Kolkatta but Didi is far from dealing with such frivolous stuffs. She has bigger responsibility of hobnobbing with certified terrorists to accomplish. What is governance? The quiz master Derek O’Brien is there to list out the achievements of Didi during primetime anyway.


Arvind kejriwal:- Krantikari, Bahot Krantikari. It just that the gladiator shifted his Kranti from Delhi to Banaras, only to return back with a blackened face. When I was preparing the list, I kept this phenomenon at the top of it without thinking twice. Such are his loathsomeness. Today he stands against corruption while tomorrow he shifts his goal to curb the communal forces while on third day even his own mother doesn’t know what he stands for any more. He kicked the mandate that people of Delhi gave him and ran away from his responsibilities to pursue his dream of becoming the PM of the country. Out of all the places, the clown-shri chooses to fight against Modi from Banaras. But voters turned out smarter. He not only lost it badly in Banaras but also his wretched party drew blank in Delhi. Poor Yogendra Yadav did all possible internal surveys to show how both AAP and Kejriwal winning it big, only to eat crow by the afternoon of May 16th. Now that the drama has unfolded to its full glory, the topper of the loathsome list came back pleading the same Delhi voters to give him another chance to ruin the state further. But before that, to remain true to his nonsense making capabilities, the great Kejriwal cried foul on everything around Delhi, including, only known to him knowledge of BJP’s big plan of dismantling Delhi assembly altogether. But Kejriwal knows everything, including which brand of innerwear we all wearing on any particular day. So we have to believe what this pious soul says on face value. If we disagree, we ought to be either Ambani or Adani agents. By the way, he is a super secular as well. That is perhaps why he cajoles all the anti-nationals including the legend that vowed to behead Barack Obama if given a chance.

That concludes the list for this year. UR Ananthamurthy is another entity who could have made to this list as easily as Kejriwal did but he is dead now. So I never bothered to disturb him. He may rest in peace but I will miss such a persona in coming years and would always feel my list is incomplete without a genius like URA.

9 comments:

  1. Hi BC,

    Just an observation, for KCR, you have mentioned that he is the PM of Telangana - "Since the day he became the PM". Actually he is the Chief Minister (CM) of the state of Telangana.



    Guess this is just a typo error, please correct it....




    Vande Mataram,
    Raghav

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  2. Ohh.. so sorry to have made it PM; I am sorry, not for the typo but because I unintentionally assigned PM designation to this moron, who is not worth even to be a sweeper at the PMO.

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  3. Put Arnab Goswami also put in this list, most hatred towards hindus

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  4. Hi BC,

    Thanks for making my day ,I totally agree with the list of morons u have put up,But i am slightly disappointed that arnab gowsami did not make it to the list ,BTW ,even Girish karnad and all the anti Modi bollywood wagon like Anjum Rajabali (The kingpin who drafted anti modi appeal ) , Imtiaz Ali, Vishal Bhardwaj, Nandita Das, Govind Nihalani, Saeed Mirza, Zoya Akhtar, Nandita Das, Kabir Khan, Mahesh Bhatt, Shubha Mudgal and Aditi Rao Hydari should also be on the all time list.


    Jai Hind sir , May your tribe prosper and make our nation strong.

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  5. Mumtaz Benarjee seems to have been upset for not toping the list and hence she has started her efforts for topping it (though it migh not be altered now, unfortunately), with her recent statements on the bomb blasts that have happened.

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  6. What a post!! Reading it, I couldn't stop myself laughing out loudly.

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  7. Akhilesh Yadav, Azam Khan, Adarsh Chavan, Ajit Pawar, Manishankar Aiyyar....How come all these great visionaries missed your list?

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  8. I just liked this sentence--But then, he is KCR, the end product after a mating season of lunacy and charlatanism.
    Great piece as usual. Thanks.

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  9. Great piece. As you have said, you will need to bring a quarterly list of these characters to do justice to all of them. Your digging out characters like Narayanan and Kundra shows your tremendous work and urge to introduce to us the readers new characters. You have tremendous respect for your readers and so have we towards you. An excellent piece and bring an up dated version at the year end and also a list every quarter from next year.

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