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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Jokers Of India

Team Being Cynical
Along with the steady rise of crooks, buffoons, thugs there is a parallel rise of another category of entities in equal amount, known as jokers or Dramewazs, in a north Indian way. Like inflation and number of terror strikes these jokers are increasing exponentially every year. These new brand of creatures are doing more harm to our nation than they actually look capable of on their face value. Most of the times this new variety of national threat goes un-noticed, as the injuries inflected by them are not sudden or of high magnitude but in a longer run they definitely administer irreparable damages. Hence I thought it would be best for the sake of National Interest to point out at least few top jokers of the country. For the first time I thought of refraining from name calling and stick to the job at hand allowing the readers to guess the person who fits best to the description.

You make a list of anything wrong in India and there you will always find a politician actively part of the list. So no surprises as I am starting with one such great soul.

Joker-1

Have you seen any leader of any country except India (Can even take Pakistan, Haiti, Uganda, Somalia for cross checking), who believes more on gimmicks than his caliber and cares the least for the people. I guess you might not find one who completely depends on his unwanted antiques to remain in power or so to say winning the election. Being born with a silver spoon and belonging to a family who are/were seasoned Dramewazs for last century or so is one thing but taking the Drama and Nautanki legacy across state borders and sometimes even international is hell of an achievement. No wonder when you get fed up after having 5-star food day-in and day-out, you tend to give your test buds a change. Hence you decide to brag upon a Dalit's house with
full Z+ security, having NSG commandoes surrounding you, allowing the onlooker to get the glimpses of your spectacles only. The trauma for the Dalit didn't end here. The joker decides to stay over night in the hut forcing the man of the house to sleep outside along with four of his kids in a single tarpaulin sheet. Next morning the vibrant leader with an inflated ego and misbelieve of accomplishing something which Mahatma Gandhi would loved to have in his resume decides to take a shower under the neighborhood tube well. Once done with the shower the leader decided to join the lady of the house in fields. The photograph doing the rounds of this leader while committing this very act of bravery needs no explanation. There are many such instances of bravery of this dynamic leader, where as this particular example I think announced to the world on the arrival of this joker.

Joker-2

This joker should write a book on how to make your movies a hit and how to remain in the thick of controversies, for your own benefit. And Ram Gopal Varma should purchase this book without any delay. The acting skills of this joker goes no beyond than stammering and he is better known for his association with individuals having a diversified sexual orientation and of course controversies. He is more often than not seen showering love towards a nation and it's populace without any specific reason. This unwanted love in fact had put his latest flop movie into jeopardy. Thanks to the proactive government for support that it somehow managed to get screened and flopped pathetically. But ask either this joker or his diversified sexual oriented director, they would rate this movie to fetch one or two Oscars for India. For the limited space any further elaboration of this joker is curtailed otherwise his nonsense would easily make anyone write a whole book.

Joker-3

For the first time in the history of jokerism a journalist stormed into the list. Best known for her pseudo secularism, repulsive aura that she carries and her soft corner towards Joker-2. You name any comedy of national magnitude, you will see her flaunting her ever poisonous smile. Her misadventure during 26/11, some say gave a handful amount of information to the handlers to guide their brigade properly. From nowhere, this joker is capable of bringing Joker-2 to discussion. A self proclaimed Mark Tully or Tim Sebastian she is. Her off late love towards Joker-4, is worth a mention.

Joker-4

Another new entrant to the list. This aged joker has still few cards to show. When it comes to disturbing a whole religion he does so openly with giving freedom of expression as a pretext. Freedom of Expression has a limit, which this joker artist should understand. No wonder when hardcore Hindu groups started gunning for his misdeeds he ran away to a foreign land. It is known that he has taken up the citizenship of a country where he feels he can best express his views via his paintings. For the sake of national security this joker should be extradited and should be given a lesson or two on not to rub his bottom with a porcupine.

Joker-5

This drama queen needs no introduction. With her antiques she can give Pamella Anderson a run for her money. Drama is her source of inspiration and existence it seems. Few months back she thought of getting married in a gala Swayambar. Poor chaps rushed in to the party, not sure why, only to end up seeing a series of drama. Finally when she choose a another joker (Not of national fame) to be her better half, all thought that's it. But this joker spring upon another drama when she said she is not going to get married to her new found joker buddy. God save India from these cartoons. Elder guys, who have affinity towards Tom & Jerry, Plz try her any TV appearance for once.

Joker-6

Ahh. The whole world is my enemy, if the world doesn't belong to my state or doesn't understand my language, is the mantra of this Joker. Issue for him starts from a road side vendor and stops there. Hang on, it actually stops at Taxies. Ironically this joker calls himself a leader. For this joker, name is all what matters. Mumbai is Mumbai, period. Any mistake on this regard, even unknowingly would invite his chelas to bash you black and blue. Commit a mistake according to his books, you are all alone on his peril. His tussle with Joker-1 was an watershed event according to Joker-3, where Joker-1 won hands down while all through surrounded by few dozen NSG and close to half a million policewalas.

Joker-7

First time a non living entity is in the list. Some how I hate statues. I have seen many such erections but haven't ever seen any statue of a lady carrying a purse. Have you? Somehow I hate statues. They first thing take up a huge lot of space and if the authorities sometime plan to remove them, it might led to rioting by the supporters of the individual statued. Cost incurred in maintaining them is also huge. The statues are more painful when they carry a purse along with it, believe me.

Well these are the top seven jokers for the Year 2009-2010. This list is not fix and we could see few more new entrants next year.

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