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Monday, April 12, 2010

Pati-Patni Aur Woh

Team Being Cynical
In this saga, only the Pati seems to be fixed where in the other two characters keep on changing every now and then. Sometimes the Woh claims to be the Patni and the other times the would be Patni projected by the media to be the Woh. Nikah, Betrayal, lots of money, truck loads of lies, Talaq and above all technology like Internet all are part of this mega event or farce, whichever way you want to coin it. Sanjeev Kumar might fancy a comeback to the mainstream cinema with this script.

It all started with the surprise dis-closer of the Tennis Star (Only In our Country) Sania Mirza, of her marriage to a Cricket Star (Only In his Country) Shoib Mallik of Pakistan. A cross border romance drama like one shown in Veer-Zara started somewhere in the desert called Dubai. Things were going well with Sania being touted as the Bahu of whole Pakistan. Fans busting crackers all along Rawalpindi lanes. Both families were extremely happy as told by Sania in front of a whole bunch cameras. I would say a perfect wedding brewing between the stars of their respective countries. All hell broke loose, when a lesser known girl with the name of Ayesh Shidiqui alleged the cricketer of marring her prior and subsequently ditching her for the bombshell tennis star.

I patted my own back, as I was wondering for few days before that notorious claim, on how a high profile marriage go on without some controversies. Well I missed the target by a foot or so as I was expecting some but Ayesh throw upon a truck load of that. Ever starving media spring into action forgetting all other happenings in India. Important issues like Dantewada, PM's forthcoming US visit, the IPL stuff and above all Sashi Tharoor's twits and SRK-KJ relationship, promptly put to back burners. No mention of Raj Thakrey or Mayawati's antiques even.

As usual blame games started with each party accusing the other of manipulation and lies. The cricketer being happy the least by these developments came forward before the camera with his future wife on ridiculing the claims of his present wife. His version was closely focused on why the alleged lady not coming before the media, unlike him and start telling lies like he is doing. The video footage circulating in almost all news channels did suggest that the cricketer was getting cosy with the mother of the said lady, which the cricketers along with the whole Pakistan team termed as fabricated and claimed the meeting was nothing beyond a dinner hosted by the complainer's family. Ahh, next time I won't run around in Hydrabad station like a mad dog for the famous Alfa byriani during the 15 minute train stoppage of my journey but would wait for some Sidiques to come along in sponsering a gala lunch with all those Muglai dishes. We Indians are definitely hospitable creatures, if not anything this claim by the Pakistan team confirms beyond doubt.

Shoiab was promptly being questioned by the Police and his passport was tucked away so that he can't fly out of India. The foreign minister of Pakistan came forward with all his helping hands for the cricketer as a show of solidarity. As the phase elongated much beyond the comfort level of the cricketer, the crowd around Pakistan, who were celebrating few days back for the Bahu of Pakistan started questioning the authenticity of the cricketer's character and asked for the cricketer to come out clean. All in all two nations were more than involved in an event which is as personal an issue as getting married. Few who were terming this as a watershed event on the Indo-Pak ties were seen visibly upset on the prospect of this whole peace funda biting the dust.

As dates were getting nearer every second and all escape routes being promptly banged on his face the cricketer thought of giving an end to his lies for once. Both the Mirzas and the Shidiques along with a bunch of mullahs and as usual a politician of AP congress sat together to find a solution to this drama amicably. In the mid of the night both the parties came to a solution where the cricketer agreed to the fact that he has actually married the girl and is ready to give divorce along with paying a sum of some 15K as alumni. Few say the amount is not 15K but 15 crore actually. Now I understand the value of zero.

Finally the road to the marriage of the two stars is cleared but not before all the controversies ending with proving Shoaib a national lier or few would say a national shame. LET, Alquida, JUD and many more national shames for Pakistan, hence another inclusion might not hamper them much.

But why in earth the whole media was so interested in this stuff? Why in the name of Neptune, I have written a whole blog on it? Is it a compulsion? Is it our habit to poke our nose on others' personal issues? or is it that we are a bunch of useless fellows with nothing better to do? Whatever might be the reason, but Sania, you certainly didn't do any justice to your fans (how little they might be) with your decision of marrying a lier, a failed & looser man with values not much above all those Jehadis and that too after so much of controversies. Of all the people or Muslims in particular, you could only lay your hands on this idiot across the border? Strange isn't it? But who cares, as long as Ayesha gets the money as promised and Sania falls few places below and hobbles around 150 rank in WTA latest standings. Don't forget to buy a pair of Burkhas to play Tennis in Pakistan.

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