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Thursday, July 22, 2010

I Want To Open A NGO : No Gurantee Organization

Team Being Cynical
I always had an impression that, it is really tough to earn money, as they say there is no easy money. As per my school books, money should be a resultant of hard work and if by any chance you manage to earn few green leafs without breaking your sweat then it's not money but filth and dishonesty and money like these would eventually bring you bad luck and disharmony in your life. I believed and would have continued to believe the scribes on the books if not for that sports version Mercedes Benz which I saw in a glossy magazine page and am sure I can't lay my hands on her with how much hard work I might put on.

How in earth guys can afford to buy a Rs/- 50
Lakhs (sorry I am still using Rs/- as the new proposed symbol is not there in my keyboard) vehicle just like that? If I do some conservative estimate with help of my ever perpetual beggar mindset, the same amount would easily fetch you a decent 3 BHK flat in the posh part of any city and if you are that Bania type, then you need to venture out around the outskirts - it might just fetch you two 2 BHK flats. I admit a home is still a dream for we lesser mortals but it still baffles me how someone can spend this much amount in having a car where only four people can barely fit in? Is it the hard money we are talking about? Can anyone spend Rs/- 50 lakhs on car, if the money is laced with back breaking and sweat drooling hard work in every inch of it? Might be, but I doubt though.

Yes coming back to my wish of purchasing that beauty and dreaming (if wishes are horses...) of going for a long drive with my nagging wife beside me. Let me get out of the dreams- it's neither going to get me that car nor so my idiotic IT coolie job. To fulfil yet another of my unrealistic dreams I have to figure out a way which would give me quick and huge money (hell with those honesty nonsense).

How about opening a
NGO? All I have to do is to get some registration done by bribing few ever hungry babus. Rent a two room house at the filthiest part of the city and get my nefarious nexus going through with few government organizations and ministry (again with some bribe & promise of a handsome share in the booty that I would be getting from the government for social work). There I go - I am ready to loot the nation in the name of some social service drama. Now I am feeling much better as I can see the car in my garage soon. Hope my wife doesn't turn into a certain Baba Ramdev out of no where and start giving me prabachan on honesty and ethics.

But the problem is - on what field and for whom my
NGO would work? Social service for Old age entities, destitute women, child labours or for that matter even stray animals won't help much. The government would say there are not enough old chaps, oppressed women, child labour or stray animals left for another NGO to take care, as they all have smartly been taken care of by the previous NGOs. How about a NGO for environment? hang on my mistake - there isn't enough environment left to be nurtured at the first place. isn't it?

First I thought of going with a
NGO for rape victims. Are you nuts, asked the women welfare minister. Don't you realize - we have already sanctioned so many NGOs in and around Delhi NCR region (specializing on rape victims), that every 3rd house in Delhi is one such NGO. In fact the number of such NGOs have already overtaken the number of rape victims and in the verge of over shooting even the number of rapists in Delhi. For a new sanction, either we need few fresh rapes in Delhi or a substantial increase in rapists in the capital, he added. Destiny seems is not with me as either of the possibilities is beyond my capabilities for sure.

Then I thought to dedicate this
NGO for all those bashed up Bhaiyas in the hands of all Thakreys. The concept certainly impressed R.R.Patil. But dude, see to it that you yourself don't end up getting healed and counselled in your own NGO after being thoroughly bashed up by the same Thakreys for such an ornamental idea of yours', he warned. So foolish of me. How can't I see this clear and present danger. In the name of social service... err Mercedes Benz, I can't get bashed up black and blue. Earning money this way is harder than the IT coolie way I am currently doing.

Finally I thought of a
NGO for all those harassed husbands in the hands of Ekta Kapoor. Believe me - charity begins at home, so does revolution. No sooner I disclosed my noble idea to my wife, I had to go through my phone book for the nearest hotel's number to order my dinner and potentially next morning's breakfast. Let me not mention those blood red eyes of my wife as according to her at one go I insulted her as well as the icon of the millennium, just by thinking about any such NGO, let alone making it a realty. Seeing the quality and spontaneity of the revolt in my own home, I dropped this idea as the last thing I want in my quest for the Benz is some Dharna, Rasta Roko, Bhuk Hartal and eventually a public apology from me.

I am in a fix guys. My dream is in your hands.
Whether you want to see it blossom or want to crush it is your wish. If time permits please help me in deciding a domain which eventually would let my hands behind those wheels. For your generous suggestions I would love to share a good part of the booty - never mind as I am not bribing at all but a friendly deal. All those old chaps, destitute women, child labourers, stray dogs can very well wait.

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