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Monday, January 10, 2011

Corruption – The Act Needs A Serious Makeover

Team Being Cynical

Believe me; it is tougher than answering whom you find more macho and sexy between Arjuna Ranatunga and M.K. Alagiri. No I am not talking about the dilemma of any beauty pageant judge. My dilemma is on something else. I wonder, in India if we just can't stop ourselves from being corrupt, then can't we do it in a little sober way? After all there should be some sophistic approach which should differentiate between a pickpocket and a highway robber. More than the approach there should be a whole lot change in the people who loot us. It is more or less on the similar thought process of one of my friends – Even if you get slapped by a girl be sure she is a drop dead gorgeous. At least there would be a little less self humiliation.

Look at the chaps who have looted us in last decade or so – A.Raja, Madhu Koda, Mayawati, Lalu Yadav, Bengaru Laxman, Suresh Kalmadi. Not necessarily the lot which you would fancy using words like beautiful or handsome. As for me, I am sure I haven't seen Mayawati on the cover page of Vogue or A.Raja on the cover of HQ. If someone has any info of Mayawati participating in Miss India contest ever, then please let me know. Now more than the loot it is the fact that we were handsomely looted by a set of uncultured, undereducated and somewhat less personified individuals is what more humiliating. It's for sure a huge insult to the already incurable injury. As there is no Newton's theorem there to suggest the direct proportionality between thugs and their beauty, we might just have to live with the fact that we are continuously being conned and looted by a set of utterly sorry looking individuals. If not beauty, at least there should be a whole hearted effort from all the looters to take a more sober and sophisticated approach for the loot.

Take for example Harshad Mehta or for that matter our easterly wiz kid Ramalinga Raju. Look at their approach. Full with sophistication and professionalism. Even the individuals who got affected by them have some sense of pride feeling and satisfaction to be involved with these great souls directly or indirectly. After all to describe Harshad Mehta's masterpiece you need to have some serious knowledge of the stock markets. Now look at the acts of Mayawati in comparison. Her loot is simple enough for a Kindergarten going kid to understand and see. After all her elephant park in Lucknow is only the second thing after the Great Wall of China which is visible from space. Whether it is the Taj corridor or that 6 crore currency garland – the cheapness and unprofessionalism is quite evident. You should loot, as it is your birth rite (just included in our constitution), but a certain level of sophistication should be maintained. You shouldn't be caught with both your hands in the cookie jar and your pants down as well. After all a multi lakh crore looter shouldn't resemble a road side Bewda on a mission to hand pick someone's drying underwear for the evening Desi Daru bottle.

Jumping like a greyhound without diet for a month on the food is what the looters should avoid. At least high profile and high valued looters like A.Raja. One can understand the anxiety of not getting an opportunity for sometime to loot, but jumping on the first opportunity like a mad dog and producing enough grumbling noise in the process is what one should avoid. It doesn't look too good as per international standard of looters association. Look at a certain Maddof – dressed nattily in a pair of blazers and looting around with some sophistication. Now look at Raja – Struggling to hold the loot in one hand and the flying Lungi on the other and running bare foot with policemen with Lathi and sniffer dogs behind. This is unacceptable. After all we Indians have some emotions and standard in world forum. Didn't we? Now look at Kalmadi. For God's sake make a stringent rule – Looters with potbelly would be handed double punishment against their counterpart flat bellied looters. I can't tolerate a potbellied individual who can barely see his own feet while walking would end up gulping down thousand of corers. It is as same as getting HIV while taking an injection of anti rabies – at least the other way of getting HIV is interesting. And what is that orphanage grown set of beard doing there. Make another rule to add at least 10 years to the punishment if the looter is having beard like Kalmadi. This extra punishment is on account of polluting the TV screens by your filthy image which our media channels would be airing day-in and day-out. You can loot but you can't torture the nation at the same time. In the name of Neptune – can't you guys look a little smart if not like Mikhail Khodorkovsky?

This is a mandate from hapless souls like me and millions others. We know we were looted previously and continue to be looted. The loot would continue till either our planet earth crashes to some terrestrial comet or Lord Krishna takes an effort to implement his own saying of Bhagbat Gita – "Yada Yada Hi Adharmasya…." or some nonsense like that. Till then why take the loot so seriously and to our hearts? It is pretty much evident that we can't do anything about it. So it is better to suggest our able politicians to make sure that the pain to we citizens are minimal instead. More than our pain we shouldn't lose our face in world forum by our school boyish unprofessional work – after all we are the second fastest growing economy in the world; aren't we? Like our economy the national looters of our country should be flamboyant. Believe me – A John .F. Kennedy look alike stud might just give a lesser pain with his loot than a filthy creature like Madhu Koda. Don't believe me? Then try imagining Mayawati and Aishwrya Rai siphoning the same amount of money. Did I here – wow she still looks so hot; as the first reaction than the amount she siphoned?

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