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    Fatwa - What The Hell Is That?

    I am asking this with some conviction and of course for a reason. The question becomes more imperative when I see Muslim clergy across the globe issuing one Fatwa or the other at the drop of a hat and call for the ban of one thing or the other or even worse encourage taking someone’s life or hurl slippers at someone in reward of some prize money.

    Be it against any book which has the remote mention of the letters I, M, Q, P and A or even against the undergarment manufacturer if the garment doesn’t carry their balls properly; there is always a Fatwa for the taking. The application of such call for violent and unethical action, has such wide range of reasons against humans, gays, lesbians, books, dogs, cats, pigs, television, internet, sports, yoga, national flag, national anthem and but limited to even Bande Maataram. In nutshell; to be rather generic it seems there is a problem with almost everything under the sun. Now one wonders if there is any minimum threshold outlined in the holly book which should demand for such fifteenth century activity.

    A little Googling throws some stimulating relics. One of them is – ‘All that which is against Islam or against the proselytization of the holy book can be so called Fatwaed’. If that so then the usage of Fatwa becomes more bothersome. Looking at the number of Fatwas that been dispensed till now, in all probability it looks like everything that you see around you, both living or otherwise are against Islam. That is a very dangerous precedence when the entire globe; dogs, cats, pigs included, bundle up to machinate against a particular religion. It could be contrived but I just can’t help myself asking; if it is a case where we see the entire world has a nasty vendetta against a particular religion or is it the other way? Because as far as I am concerned – ‘The whole world can’t be wrong’. If you feel every second peripatetic person on the street has some hidden agenda against you and a threat to your religion then you have some serious problem with yourself mate. I would rather advise you to Look within and rectify yourself than issuing Fatwa against every third human, second book and fourth animal.
    For starters, just look how a section of our society lost its collective shit; no sooner Salman Rushdie announced his intention of attending Jaipur Literary Fest. A lot of hawks spring into action quicker than Sarad Pawar at the prospect of some loot money and Fatwas were issued left-right-and-center. Knives were out before even Rushdie could complete the word ‘Literary Fest’ in his Tweet. Threats were hurled at some alarming speed and a clownish lot went ahead asking the government to revoke Rushdie’s VISA. Lot of hot air was blown and a lot of public farting accomplished. And hell, all this for what? Because the author of perhaps the most contentious book ever written wanted to pay a visit to his country of origin, which he has done quite a number of times after the ban. It was really funny. Well funny could be as less a comparison as Highway Robber to Suresh Kalmadi though.
    While the latest revolt against Rushdie is bizarre, the beginning of this abhorrence against this man was a bigger bizarre. The first time I was honored to hear the word Fatwa was when Salman Rushdie was slapped with one for writing something called Satanic Verses. The accusations that time were grave. He was alleged to have insulted Islam, Muslims and Prophet himself, all-in-one go by just writing the book.
    Even though, how fair it is to conclude Rushdie’s blasphemy for his literary work is questionable, the reaction of the Muslim community across the globe back then, without even caring to read a single page of the book is for sure facetious. Forget the book, even those who might not have seen how the cover of the book looks like were seen all over the place and burning effigies of Rushdie perhaps without even knowing who this bloke Rushdie is. This very act of following the mob without knowing why you are following at the first place is little macabre. That said I am not against any kind of opposition or objection. But there is a clear difference between objection and outright Mafiosi. I am all for, people having difference of opinion and being allowed to voice their concerns, suggestions or objections without anyone of the rest were getting prejudiced. I am all for people agreeing to disagree with grace and mutual respect. But to go ahead and have such strong opinion that you call for someone’s life looks a little codswallop. Stone-age scoundrels like Ayatollah Khomeini didn’t do any good either to the community when they woke up one morning and announced a million dollar booty for anyone who takes down Rushdie. So much detestation for someone just because according to you he insulted a holy book which in all likelihood would be talking about peace and tolerance?
    Doesn’t it look a little out of place when the jokers who think themselves as the only set alive and custodians of the book don’t even know what the book has written all over it? Rascals who doesn’t have any respect for life, bigmouth about religion and religious sentiments? That is crazier than Prativa Patil as president of India.
    Tashlima Nasreen’s Lajja went through the same fate as she did the exact cardinal mistake of writing about all that could be wrong in Islam. The lady was chased out of Bangladesh and had to run around half of the subcontinent to convince one and all of the cavemen to just read her piece before reacting like starving Hyenas. Her effort turned futile quicker than Jugal Hanshraj’s Bollywood career as none of the idiots agreed to listen to what the lady has to say in her defense. No wonder the poor woman is still living under the cloud of fear and apprehension, and at the same time is been forced to ping-pong between Dhaka and Kolkatta.
    Now that a lot of water has already passed under the bridge since these two instances first rock the literati world; we should pause for a moment and ask a very un-parliamentary question – What is this business of banning books and thirst for someone’s life is all about? If the so called perpetrator has committed a crime so loud against the religion that he/she deserves to be killed, then what about the hawks that run around advocating for free killing? I am sure no religion preaches about taking innocent lives. If the holy book which talks about peace and mutual respect is alleged to have been violated by an individual then how come the scoundrels enacting violence in the name of the very book can be tolerated? Won’t it only legitimate that who call themselves as the caretaker of the holy book but act exactly opposite to its teachings need to be eliminated first?; if killing happens to be the only solution for every goddamn difference of opinion.
    Honestly, I am still to comprehend the whole idea of mutual hatred in the name of Fatwa. A person having a different opinion is not necessarily against you in the entire sphere. Even if someone is dead against you in all your acts and actions, it still no way justify warranting him to be killed. This is not at all something that can be coined religious. This is outright shamelessness and in clear violation of humanity, sensibility and in all probability against the values of every religion. Islam or for that matter any religion can’t be an individual or a section’s property. Islam is as dear to Khomeini as it possibly is for Rushdie. Criticizing the bad about one’s religion doesn’t make one sacrilegious but calling for someone’s life in the name of religion certainly is.

    Scoundrels galore or rather the cocooned clergy community must understand this. The scoundrels must realize that they perhaps are obligating a bigger insult to their own religion by running around with a dagger to take someone’s life than what the alleged writer, singer, painter, boozer, smoker and bullshitter possibly could have committed by his/her actions earlier.


    1. Very well put. Can't agree more. A paradigm shift is needed by the Muslim community to come in terms with the developing world around them.

    2. 24 years have passed since he wrote SV and evenAllah has not done any harm to him in all these years. Why theMullahs are bothered whenAllah himself does not care?

    3. Isnt it an irony that the book was banned in India, a so called secular state(or becoming a islamic state looking at the statements of Diggy and those in power in Jaipur), whereas it is sold openly in Turkey a real Islamic state.

    4. These a-holes still have a 7th century mindset.. According to them the Q is the best book written by anyone so far and hold it as an ocean of morals..but what they are not aware of is that it was the first ever book written by the low i.q. arabs some 200 yrs after the death of its founder..given the contents in thebook it must be banned for inciting hatred towards non-believers ,for promoting violence,for war crimes it sanctions,for allowing men to look upon women as less than cattle etc etc etc