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    The Funny Thing In India Called The Police Force

    I am not particularly impressed with our police force. Before going forward let me clear this; I am not blaming the force alone and entirely. Looking at the type of government we have at the center, it is only expected that our forces would be exactly same as the government we have. That is corrupt, nonfunctional, incompetent and most important useless.

    The regular news on various dailies of yet another notorious act of our police force doesn’t better the opinion of ours on the quality and morality of the kind of internal security apparatus that we have. Coupled to it is our own Bollywood which quite genuinely haven’t yet shown a single police officer who could be considered so called clean or if at all they have shown, they followed it with either the death or suspension of the officer by his own conspiring and corrupt subordinates. I don’t blame the Bollywood either. They again are following the footsteps of the government that is installed at the center. That is, manipulative, reacting to the gallery and as always a lot of gimmickry.

    The future of the force is not looking great either. This conclusion is simply derived by just looking at a couple of Facebook profiles and their owners in real life since few of these would definitely be part of our police force in future. The current lot of Social Media buffs for whom Café Coffee Day outlets are no less an important place than the college libraries and Sreesanth a great role model. Expecting them to change the fabrics, psyche, moral and ethics of our police force in future is as unrealistic as expecting Rajiv Shukla to put on a suit someday that fits him. In fact I am very hopeful of the current so called “Youngistan” lot to achieve absolutely nothing in future and it is only advisable that we build till Agni-12 and auction out 7G before we bid adieu to this planet since that would be the end of anything and everything that you associate with achievement and innovation. 

    Coming back to the topic. A recent news of Delhi Police and their tremendous achievement at least convinced me that we really don’t require these guys in our neighborhood. Honestly, we don’t and you have to believe me on this. While investigating on the murder of an aged couple, our police arrested the nephew of the deceased since he only informed the control room of the murder. Argument in favor of such action was the presence of the footmarks of the nephew inside the room where the crime was committed and the blood stains on his shoes. As always Delhi Police do when they feel they are going nowhere, they beat the living daylights out of the man arrested so much so that he confessed to the crime he never committed and even agreed to share the murder weapon with them. I am sure Delhi Police would have done away with a little Sabashi for such phenomenal success, if not for their screwed up biology knowledge. To counter the defense lawyers and to establish the murder our police team painted the knife with AB+ blood group which they thought would explain the mystery of the deceased who had A+ and B+ blood group respectively. You can easily guess how big the rap on the knuckles that the honorable high-court must have delivered to our police team. 

    Have you guys heard of that More chap of Mumbai? I must say, he has some bravado of rare quality. As simple as it can get, he promptly picked up a teenager from the streets, took her to the police station and raped her. Simple, crisp and clinical. I was expecting Mumbai police force to be half of its strength the next day since that would be the half who probably would jump into the Arabian Sea or off Khandala cliffs out of shame. But nothing of that kind happened since most of them were not sure how to react or even, if they are required to react or not at the first place. Since raping someone is not a funny thing the idiot is behind bars from that day with a case or two on his name and in all likelihood nothing happening to him anytime in the near future. In fact I am told More is going to get that impeccable mortal stature alongside our state guest Mr. Ajmal Amer Kasav in a felicitation function soon. 

    Keeping aside these honorable examples, in general the achievements of our police force is no less ornamental. Random streets of any city are hijacked by Paan chewing policewalas with barricades erected and safety checks done on the poor motorists during office hour. Real intention is not traffic safety but something else. Ask the same men to report as soon as possible for a distress call, the agility they show while checking for helmets or PSU certificates will vaporize quicker than Abhisekh Manu Singvi’s sex CD went viral on the web. They not only mess up their duty outside but also make a hara-kiri of their in-office behavior. If hospitality is taken into account even the Talibanis might file a case in international court to exonerate them of any false accusation on their ‘worst in the world’ unruly behavior towards the visitors. Any person who has gone even once to any police station to file an FIR only knows, in terms of torture what is equivalent to watching Ra.One in a theater. In fact at times I feel law and order has got nothing to do with our police force. Hang on; or is it the reverse?

    One more great quality of our police force is that they are so pathetically predictable. How many times you have seen people getting away from serious traffic offences by paying Rs 100/- note or worse at times even a bottle of Maaza? What is predictable here is the confidence in you to approach the police with an offer of bribe and more often than not coming out with flying colors. You can put your finger on any Khaki cap and can safely bet your life for him to be corrupt and I am sure if you happen to lose your life in the gamble then your fate is grossly rotten, only next to that of Manmohan Sing. 

    By the way, somebody just confirmed, it is a handsome 23.72% of all the corrupt of India belong to our police forces. The force definitely deserves a Padma Bhushan!! 


    1. well written... but not unlike ur other articles..a s wrt police we find less cases compared to politicians.. also they get benifit of doubt here is they are tightly controlled by politicians hence they cant have free hand.. or atleast to do what they feel is right .. hence police is currupt.... but politicians are currupt till core.. police reforms are needed

    2. How can anyone have A and B+ bloodgroups? A is not a bloodgroup. A+ or A- could be.

    3. Getting into technicalities dude? The blog piece is not about the possible blood groups but the attitude of our Police Force.

    4. I expected another paragraph in this article, that of DIG battle in Karnataka going on between Bidari and Infant.

    5. Dear Cynical,

      I hope you write something on the Fixed pay scheme of Gujarat Government for its employees. The Gujarat government is paying a fixed pay of Rs.1500 to 6000 per month to the government employees for first five years of their service. After 5 years only they are given the regular pay.

      How a married person with children can survive on Rs.1500/- per month and that too for 5 long years?

      I read your blogs regularly and am quite impressed with your ideas. I really hope you write on this matter.

    6. @Anonymous,

      I had no idea that Gujarat government has such a horrid scheme. I agree, in Rs 1500/- you can't even have the luxury of a square meal per day, let alone maintaining a family. Could be a unique way of Gujarat government for family planning ;)

      Jokes apart, thanks a lot for bringing it to my notice. I will do my bit of research would surely write on this. Promise from a gentleman, if you consider me one :-)

      Great Day
      Cynical As Always

    7. Yeah,the Government Primary Teachers were paid Rs.2500/- for first 5 years of their service from the year 1998 to 2010. In 2010 the amount was increased to Rs.4500/- per month. Ditto is the case with the Police Constables. The Government College Lecturers holding Master degrees,M.Phil,Doctorate are paid only Rs.7500/- for first 5 years of their service and then only given the regular pay.

      Generally the government should keep a watch and punish the people who are violating the constitutional fundamental rights of equal pay for equal work and minimum wages, but in this case the government itself is exploiting the people by not paying them the minimum wages.

    8. I had opportunities to know the raw details of police investigation.. they simply cheat us, our laws our systems..they are corrupt but protected because the proceeds of the crime are shared.. the greatest and biggest money launderers are the people in the police force..the records the collect and keep.help them to fabricate with airm to screen the offenders ( a big business money laundering model)..the seniors either because of the problems of intelligence, integrity and industry or other kindship considerations are not assertive..all eith directly or indirectly cheat..I wish and hope the Prevention of Money launderingAct will first be applied to them..