The Potty Makers

I am again proved, I am pathetic in mathematics. I mean, how I can’t understand the logic for last 24 hours which big brains like Montek Sing Ahluwallia are so convinced with? When the so called planning commission justifies their act of renovating their loos in the office premises by a whopping 35 Lakhs, it is only appropriate for outright idiots like me and many others to visualize the foresight of the planning commission than criticizing their attempt at bringing the idiom “People’s Money Down the Drain” to some realty. It is my bad only that I can’t see the conviction within the same planning commission who thought a daily income of more than Rs 28/- per day makes you rich have the balls to spend such an amount for a cause that has pissed off many, well before Mr. Ahluwalliah could pull down his zip and carry out the act in literal sense inside the mega toilets. Heavens!! As per their conclusion, the amount spend on building those two loos could have helped a person in India to survive for 274 years or a family of five for 57 years at least.

Now here is the thing. But before that – ‘How does a Rs 35 Lakh loo looks like?’ Must have that aesthetic look which even would pop-up the urge within you to pee, even if you have just finished a marathon across Sahara Desert. No? While criticisms are coming from all quarters, I rather would love to elaborate on an entire different direction. First and foremost I like to congratulate the planning commission for possessing such an audacity to even think of wasting so much money for their shit work. The audacity becomes more laudable when we have a large chunk in our country who can’t afford a square meal per day, our economy has all but gone to dogs, corruption has broken all records and last but not the least – when the government is advocating for austerity measures as part of their standard jingoism and hogwash. That said I feel there is a close linkup between government austerity measures and people going berserk in India. The last time the government took up any such step, a well-educated minister with a perfect hairdo tweeted something so crazy that it cost him his job since many felt by elaborating the average Indian as part of the cattle class the minister has jumped the sacred line by a foot or so. This time when the government thought of introducing some austerity measures for reasons best known to them only, the chairman of the planning commission not only wasted Rs 35/- lakh on the toilets but also went ahead defending his act like a seasoned Congress politician.

On a serious note, here the issue is not with the amount spend in building up those two loos but the attitude of the people in position and power and their apathy towards the average citizens of the nation. A government spending few lakhs on frivolous stuffs wouldn’t have bothered anyone had there been some accountability of the government in other ways. While our able politicians are looting us in thousands of crores or we spending four thousand rupees per toilet roll, a mere spending of some lakhs shouldn’t have worried anyone, provided people have reposted their faith on the government, governance and people those call the shots.  But call it an irony or our misfortune that we now have a government installed at the center which has taken the nation in backward direction on every front. Be it economy or development index. Or be it cultural growth or since & innovation, healthcare, education or even international diplomacy; we are now languishing behind the worst third world nations in the same period of last three years. In a time when the inflation has hit the populace on the head and coupled with it the exponential increase of fuel price in last year or so, an attempt at making a mockery of the citizens by constructing lavish toilets is what seems to have annoyed many. To annoy further it is none other than the planning commission head who has to stand up before the media and defend the decision of such money assassination.

And look at what been thrown at us for a defense. In an office where foreign dignitaries visit us on daily basis, we need to have good toilets. Not the toilets that stink 24/7 with water leaking from every porous available. Agreed; but shouldn’t we have first set right more pertinent issues that are chasing away the foreign investors than stinking toilets? I mean is it the toilets that are a deterrent for FDI to flow in to our country? Aren’t the foreign investors more concerned for the government policies than a leaking wash basin in planning commission office? Rather installing photoelectric controlled commode shouldn’t we have looked at our unethical attempt at snatching eleven thousand crores from Vodafone in the name of federal tax? Shouldn’t we have introspected our decision of introducing new corporate tax ladder on retro basis to satisfy our ego which was massacred badly by our Supreme Court in Vodafone case than having climate controlled hand showers? Have we really cared if the stinking toilets in the planning commission are scary for the foreign investors or our lackluster, pathetic and visionless decision making policies are?

Most irritating in the whole farce is again the arrogance of our government in considering themselves as the ones who possess some brain while we rest are mentally retard to believe their story of stinking toilets as the root cause of a depleted economy. Mr. Ahluwallia, you are right if you think the stink is a hindrance in our growth but it is not the stink emanating from the toilets of your office but the stink that is effervescing from everywhere because of the corruption, scam and nepotism that is so rampant in our governance. It is the scoundrels and thugs that our government is endorsing with open arms which is scaring the investors from investing their hard earned money here than the compulsion of controlling their pee till they reach their posh hotel washrooms. For once Mr. Ahluwallia, I will urge you to drop the notion of you being extremely brilliant while we lesser mortals are fools of worst kind. We may not be economists of your stature but we do certainly understand with a help from our commonsense that for an investor it is the conducive environment that he or she will get to do his or her business is more important than where he or she would pee when he or she is in your office. Isn't it? 

By the way, looking at the whopping amount of money they have spent in coming up with those two toilets I am at sea to see the Congress not yet dedicating the endeavor to someone from the Gandhi family. Or maybe they are struggling to come up with an appropriate name. How about ‘Rajiv Gandhi National Sandash Yojna’? Gotcha!!