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Wednesday, April 2, 2014

What I Learned From Facebook & Twitter Propagandas

This election season is turning out to be a great learning curve for me. While people like Narendra Modi taught me how to market even the worst of eventualities as a sugar coated candy; the likes of Rahul Gandhi taught me how to bluff in open and then let lose your sycophants on the audience to keep defending the indefensible. Even the second string of lieutenants also added in with their piece of knowledgebase for me. While people like Ravishankar Prasad taught on how to ask the PM to resign for every damn thing; third grade clowns like Sanjay Jha taught me how big a fool I was till date to believe sun rises from the east where as it actually rises from one of the Gandhi family posteriors on round robin basis. In fact there are way too many tutors that I discovered this election season and I am deeply in gratitude for them to let me learn from their astounding knowledgebase. But the biggest of tutor surprisingly came as not humans but two social networking platforms. Yes, you read it correct and those two platforms are our very loving Facebook and Twitter. I learnt a lot from the propagandas/bullshits that routinely were flourished on both these platforms by the patrons of different political outfits. The learnings are many but, the sere want of time and space, I will furnish few most important ones from the lot.


  •     Everything wrong that has happened to India in last 100 years was because of BJP’s 6 years government. This condition was valid before the announcement of Modi as NDA PM Candidate but now it is because of Modi since the time he became the PM designate.
  •     We should hail Rahul Gandhi as the most intelligent person ever roamed on the face of this planet, not because he is but because Congress believes he is
  •     Once Modi becomes the PM of this nation all problems of the country will vanish from the scene at once leaving all with wide smiles of Sonali Bendre fame
  •     For Congress, nothing is nonsense or nothing is a virtue until Rahul Gandhi gate crashes one of the press conferences and says so
  •     The only developed state in India is Gujarat for the BJP and for Congress, well it is whichever state that Rahul Gandhi approves
  •     For Congress the English calendar now must ditch Jesus Christ from its scheme of things and consider 2002 as the beginning and end as well
  •     Only one politician that possesses 56” chest is Narendra Modi. The record can only be broken if Vindu Dara Singh or Khali joins some political party
  •     Delivering political nonsense is part of a routine Yoga session
  •     It is a rumor that Arvind Kejriwal is compiling a collection of poems with the title – “Main Aur Meri Khanshi Akshar Yeh Baten Karte Hain”
  •     Arvind Kejriwal is the only holy cow left on this planet to have the due authority to accuse Lord Ram, Prophet Mohammad and Jesus Christ as corrupt individuals in one go. Poor His Holiness The Dalailama hasn’t come under his scrutiny yet
  •     More than half of this nation are either communal or Ambani agents. This count also includes the yet to be born
  •     Digvijay Singh is the only human who can pledge to stand against Narendra Modi from Varanashi though both his feet are permanently parked in his mouth
  •     Politicians are now getting heart attacks not only when the enforcing agencies come calling to send them into jails but also on the prospect of fighting the 2014 general elections
  •     Even Bengal has developed under Mamata Banarjee
  •     Though Rahul Gandhi says his party will win more than 200 seats he is yet to answer if he has 200 names who are ready to fight on a Congress ticket this season
  •     Babri Mosque demolition should be considered as the biggest shame for the nation, quite similar to the shame of including Ishant Sharma in Indian Cricket team
  •     Oxford dictionary guys are burning midnight oil for quite some time on what to replace U-Turn with : Arvind Kejriwal or Mulayam Singh Yadav
  •     Even Mayawati can rake up corruption and non-development issues in public rallies
  •     Kumar Vishwas is a top notch politician of the nation
  •     Robert Vadra is the best priminister we never had till now
  •     Lalkrishna Advani is turning younger by the day like that ‘Potliwale Baba’ of the Arabian Nights fame
  •     Narendra Modi just can’t do anything wrong, even if that means rewriting history altogether
  •     Sanjay Jha meets people only in flights who boil to optimum levels by the mere mention of Narendra Modi’s name
  •     Every question (even those of the IIT entrance test) could easily be answered using three words – “RTI”, “Women Empowerment” and “Opening Up The System”. Ask Rahul Gandhi for details
  •     Prashant Bhushan knows best on which part of India should be given to whom except Delhi since it has Jantar Mantar and Rail Bhawan; picture perfect places for agitation
  •     Aam Aadmi must only travel in a blue WagaonR when all are watching and on luxurious chartered flights when no one is watching
  •     Ashutosh of IBN is a very intelligent person. Well, below Rahul Gandhi though
  •     Vibrant Gujarat also means showcasing how great a third grade hill station called Saputara is
  •     Just because Modi is coming to power, both Bhrastachar, Mehngai and Development are calling the citizens left-right-and-center to update their status everyday
  •     Sachin Tendulkar was given Bharat Ratna, not because of his Cricketing prowess but because he was a potential opponent against Modi in the eventuality of a direct face-to-face electoral contest
  •     Rajiv Shukla wears ill fitted suits as part of his ‘Mannat’ for Rahul Gandhi to become the PM
  •     Manmohan Singh was a useless PM according to BJP till now though Congress admitting of late that BJP was not entirely wrong
  •     Rajdeep Sardesai is the biggest victim of hate and profane, thanks to the trillions of RSS cadres that pollute the social media
  •     Mulayam Singh Yadav is also a Netaji
  •     Ramvilash Paswan breaks all records of shamelessness
  •     Derek O’Brien wishes all his quiz questions should have the answer – either Mamata Banarjee or Trinamool Congress
  •     You can easily break-up with your boyfriend or girlfriend by accusing him/her – you are not secular
  •     People like Nitish Kumar still keep the legacy of great Srikhandi relevant in today’s age and time
  •     There is no Modi wave in this country. That is why no senior Congress politician is getting motivated to fight the election
  •     There is nothing called Lungi economics as clarified by P Chidambaram
  •     Congress can and will create 10 crore jobs in 5 years, not by coming up with new industry or any of that nonsense but because it is written so in their manifesto
  •     Sazia Ilmi is the most beautiful politician in the contemporary period. Though I feel Saina NC should take that honors
  •     Skull Caps are the only sign of unity, growth, harmony, peace, development and secularism
  •     Amir Khan doesn’t endorses and political party and he need to prove that by not casting his vote to any party this year
  •     Big Blow To Modi can be suffixed and prefixed to any sentence and it still would make perfect sense  
  •     Gujarati people were intelligent and smart since the big bang time. They have developed Gujarat by their own. Modi has no hand in the development of the state
  •     But nobody answers then why shouldn’t I follow the smart people who have voted Modi for 3 times than following absolute idiots

And guys, this is just a partial list of my learnigs.

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5 comments :

  1. Bcoz of converted moron plus selfish hindu congress rule on India Some hindus understand it now and BJP vote share in increasing, one day some more hindus will realize.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Looking forward for the remaining list.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nachiket ParasharApr 3, 2014, 10:38:00 PM

    I find it very hilarious to find people from minority community seething in rage when they write about Namo. They do not realize that they have made fools by Congress for years by scaring them by Hindu word. It is unfortunate that these people have to live with so much hate and prejudice which does not allow them peace of mind nor participation with the masses.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nachiket ParasharApr 8, 2014, 12:03:00 PM

    When you post something and if doesn't get published then we know the leanings of that particular site. Well, one person in yahoo has stated with headline, "Why Narendra Modi should not be PM". He goes on to tell about 2002 Gujarat riots (again) and Modi being polarising figure. I wrote a post but yahoo is not publishing it. I wrote as below:
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Sir, those who had made up mind to vote Modi will do so
    anyway but you are instigating some more Hindus also to vote for him now. Isn't
    your article a polarising one? Many people are going to vote for Modi, not only
    because of development but also because all mammoth claims about him being
    anti-minority could not be proved at all. His speech to Guajarat state, after
    burning of Godhra train, is sufficient to dispel false propaganda against him.
    He has always spoken to people of Gujarat as his people, all of them, and not
    as Hindu Gujarati, Muslim Gujarati, Sikh Gujarati & so on. His ability to
    prevent any future riots in state after 2002 is heartening too. You know,
    Congress, Communist, SP, BSP & others, who call themselves as secularist
    are more polarising. Hindus of this nation feel threatened by these parties. So
    much propaganda they have done against an Honest Hindu, read Modi, for his
    sincere effort to run a good government, is disheartening. Hindus here feel
    that all the good efforts of a Hindu nationalist will go down the drain if he
    is working for India as a whole instead of minorities alone. So don't blame
    Modi for polarising people but they, in fact, were waiting for such a person,
    read Modi, after being oppressed by polarising nature of Indian secular
    politics since & even before independence.

    -----------------------------------------------------
    Feel happy to post here because it does not get deleted without explanation and I manage to put a new or forgotten perspective to a well meaning people (readers here).

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow, what a keen observation and hilarious too.

    ReplyDelete

 
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