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Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Rahul Gandhi And The Art Of Vacationing

When I heard this in media that Rahul Gandhi would be back in India by the time Congress’s proposed mega rally in Delhi on April 19th to oppose the government’s land bill kicks off, I couldn’t stop myself from bursting out with an instant laughter. Not that Rahul Gandhi made me laugh for the first time with his antiques but this latest attempt of him has this stereotyping that Congress does every time to welcome the vanished prince. They did it during the Uttarakhand flood where they organized some kind of flag of ceremony after the prince returned from his vacation as if it was some Himalayan car rally. And, if you look closely at both these two instances, the desperate attempt of the sycophants to still make RG sound relevant is evident. But this desperation to somehow uphold the non-tangible currency called RG is actually part of the problem. May be a smaller part. The bigger part of the problem is in fact in the psyche of these sycophants. In a complex political idiom like ours, prince has long become a burden for the grand old party but the stooges simply don’t want to accept; few because of compulsion and the rest because they simply are too stupid to read the writing on the wall.

I had said this earlier. Rahul Gandhi actually is a party animal who is thrown in to politics because of his surname. He seldom looked like a leader. In fact none of the Gandhi scions ever looked like leaders any way but they weren’t as pathetic as RG is. None in Gandhi brethren ever managed to ill achieve even a tenth of what Rahul Gandhi accomplished in about a decades time. Varun Gandhi matches very close to RG but he isn’t as doleful as RG in many ways. When RG came into full time politics (read hara-kiri) it was Congress who was in power and were on an upward ladder. That also showed in 2009 elections. But the sycophants at once dedicated the victory of 2009 to RG for no reason and from there on it was all downhill, both for the party and RG as an individual. From general secretary he became the vice-president of the party after the party’s constitution was modified to accommodate such a fancy post. As VP, his boundary to carry out experiments (read mistakes) increased. Suddenly RG appeared as the biggest nemesis of his own cause. By sheer stupidity, RG turned everything to asses that he touched. But the sycophants still cheered him from the sidelines. For the first time in my life I saw the victim applauding his executioner’s work. Along with his stupidity, RG finally managed to drown the Titanic of Indian politics called Congress in no time. There went the career and aspirations of many sycophants along with the ship. But the catch in this failure is the captain called Rahul Gandhi. He never went down with the ship but actually ran away to vacation around the globe while his sycophants were frantically firefighting the situation and issuing SoS calls in every direction. But irony, those who survived that sinking ship are still hailing the runaway captain as a great exponent of virtue and are all set to make him the supreme commander very soon. Laughable, no?

All said and done, I am sure, everyone in Congress must be used to the vanishing act of RG that he regularly does. More so when the situation calls for the display of supreme leadership. I can’t remember a single instance where I have seen RG talking sense, much less behaving like a true leader. I first called RG a complete catastrophe post the horrific December 2013 Delhi gang rape. All the while, everyone in Congress termed RG as the so called youth icon. But what the icon did when the youth were on the street protesting and demanding for a safer city? Not only the then Congress government in the state let lose the Delhi police to cane and water cannon the protesters, the youth icon prince suddenly vanished to enjoy the sylvan coastlines of Bali and the Caribbean. To top it all, the youth icon only returned when messages were wired to him that the anger has been suppressed by brute force and he can now land in Delhi and can come out of the airport waving his hands hysterically at the gathered bootlickers as if he has returned after conquering the world. And that is pretty much what happened. To add insult to injury, what the prince said once he landed in Delhi after flying first class, probably paid from our money? Yes, he was disappointed to know the turn of events on Delhi streets and he promised he would fight to punish all those who were atrocious towards the youth. Shamelessness scaled new and higher fences that very moment let me tell you. Ditto happened during Uttarakhand. When people were dying in one part of our country, the leader in RG quietly escaped to enjoy the beautiful Europe for an extended period. After the tireless efforts of our armed forces when sanity started to reappear in the affected areas, the prince returned like a great achiever, again waving his hands at the gathered sycophants. He then straightaway headed to the podium to wave of  3 trucks of relief material that were waiting for the prince to return since last three days. To even make the situation ironically laughable, he addressed the media after the wave of ceremony and let all of us know how his heart bleeds for all those who have lost their loved ones in the flood.

The latest disappearance of the prince is no different from the earlier ones, albeit, a very few only know where the prince is vacationing this time around. That is perhaps why few supporters issued missing posters of the great prince in Kanpur recently. The prince in fact has vanished so professionally that even the Sherlock Holmes of Indian media, Arnav Goswami is struggling to scale the longitude and latitude of the prince on a graph paper. But before we waste our energy in finding out where the prince is, let’s note down the remarkable similarities in all of his disappearing acts. Like earlier cases, the situation at present demands tough leadership skills. The land bill is proposed in the well and it certainly has points that need healthy and mature discussions. But maturity and prince are two different poles. In fact I haven’t ever heard any one, except the certified sycophants; using maturity in the same line they use Rahul Gandhi. The easy way to avoid embarrassment is to avoid the nation altogether. Because the prince, how dumb he may be, knows what can happen when he tries to be too clever by half. After all the causality which otherwise passes off as his interview in Times Now studio must be fresh in his mind. So the prince vanished again after throwing a statutory leave application at the Loksabha speaker and it is close to a month and half and no one knows where the failure is enjoying his latest Tequila. Shameless sycophants have even turned bigger shameless and hail such tail between the legs act of the prince as a meditation period where the great leader is touted to ponder on the future discourse of, both the party and, hold your breath, the nation also. No doubt the great visionaries of this nation, starting with Swami Vivekananda and down are turning ever so violently in their respective graves since last month and half. In fact the yesteryear’s visionaries are also desperate to know what kind of revolution the prince would bring back home after his prolonged liquor and smoking weed escapade.

But why am I so bothered? Isn’t a vanishing RG good for the nation? Was he ever useful in any manner to the nation? I doubt if RG was even paying his income tax. All that I can see is us spending a fortune for the security of this useless hack. At least by disappearing, the prince has made himself useful, for once at least. The vanished prince made sure that we don’t waste any more public money in engaging SPG and other sundry forces to protect someone who can’t even spell Karnataka correctly in one go. By the way Italy, good luck to you as you may very well have to accommodate this great prince in your country forever. Good luck Franco, Giorgi Giovanni, Alberto Casera, Massimo Lovati and Brenna Massimiliano. My friends, don’t blame me the next time I visit you because I have no hand in porting the potent prince to your country. 

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