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Thursday, November 2, 2017

Pidi Backing

Team Being Cynical
I am not sure how many of my readers would be interested to know about my pet dog. I said ‘not sure’ because as an individual I may not be terribly interested in knowing about the dog of any random individual, though I love pets. This applies to most here. Unless you are running a ‘PETA’ kind of thing and you are one heck of an animal lover, getting knowledge about pets of individuals is not very common among average strangers. Since we are at pets and dogs let me tell about my dog who unfortunately died five years back. He was one hell of a badass canine. He had his own way of doing things or rather his own way of not doing things. He was much like Arvind Kejriwal – always had an excuse to do nothing and bark for every damn thing that doesn’t fit his way. Being a dog he was different, for e.g, he never rushed to pick the ball I threw. Most of the times he never would even look at the direction of the ball, much less running towards it and picking it. He rather would give a weird look at me with his trademark unspoken dialect – cut the crap mate, you aren’t funny a bit. Shove the ball up your fat arse and get the hell out of here. Let me sleep. But thanks to Rahul Gandhi I realized there are smart dogs in this world too and he has one as his pet.   


But Rahul Gandhi is different here. He in fact is a constituent of an entirely different set of metals. I had always maintained that RG as a package never fails to amaze me. He did it again when he tweeted about his dog ‘Pidi’ and shared a video on how his dog apparently is smarter than him. For a fact, I wasn’t aware that RG has a four legged pet. Though his family since ages had many pets who would willingly crawl in front of their house seven days a week and 24 hours a day, I never would know that they have a canine too for pet and that too a smart one at that. Pidi not only is smart but equally well calibrated with his moves. For proof RG placed a biscuit on Pidi’s nose and the smart dog did some facial juggling and plucked the biscuit from thin air in a flash. I am not sure how many other pets of the Congress first family could achieve that feat. Quite smart I must say; which I may not say about other Congress pets actually. All this is good but how does it help? Smartness apart, the fundamental question that needs to be asked – who on earth is interested to know about RG’s dog? When most in India would prefer not to hear anything about RG himself, the poor dog automatically scores very low on the popularity index. Though I admit, Pidi is cuter than most pets of Congress, he still failed to make any sense. He neither made any sense to the reason why his video was tweeted at the first place nor on what context did his master press that tweet button. And to amaze me further RG disclosed the secret that many wanted to know – it is Pidi that handles all his social media activities including tweeting on behalf of his master. And here I was desperately trying my late pet dog to pick the ball while the Pidis of the world are tweeting for their masters. 

Now I get the secret why RG suddenly has lakhs of followers from Ukraine, Uzbekistan, Azerbaijan and many such places/countries that most would struggle to put their fingers on a map. All thanks to Pidi. Somehow this poor little dog achieved what RG couldn’t in his two decade long political career. A closer look at RG’s tweeter activities of late and it would be clear how Pidi is nothing short of a genius at work. Few of his tweets even had more than 90% re-tweets from those ex-USSR countries. I can see the unconditional love for RG from people who either don’t exist on this planet or who are not even sure who this phenomenon Rahul Gandhi is. Having said that I totally disagree to the media report that RG has employed bots to do all the RTs and likes of his tweets. These are absolutely nonsensical claims since nothing can beat the RG+Pidi gang of modern day social media warriors. I am told Barkha Dutt even has put Pidi+RG above Bhuran Wani on the ‘social media warrior’ scale. Ask any Congress footsies to vindicate my conclusions. They won’t fall short of any vocabulary, including Italian, to agree wholeheartedly. In fact you don’t have to ask these footsies at the first place. These guys already are head-over-hills in hailing Pidi as the biggest name in the Congress party. Even bigger than RG himself. Since the time the video was tweeted by RG most of these spokespersons-turned-slaves of the first family are lining up to hail both the dog and his master. Clowns like Sanjay Jha has even urged all of us to note the wittiness in the tweet through the brilliance of RG. Let's look at one such specimen who over the years has mastered the art of boot liking. 


First case in point is a certain Priyanka Chaturvedi. Do you know the context of this tweet? Let me help you if you don't. Just before the last Assam state elections Congress managed to lose their go-to man in the state called Hemanta Biswasharma. And the double whammy was, they lost him to BJP. Irony, none in Congress cared to understand what the problem was, much less taking efforts to retain this useful political resource. HBS became expendable because a dynast in the name of Tarun Gagoi was dearer to the party high-command. Though TG had nothing to offer to the party he still was preferred over a grassroot leader like HBS. Many political pundits even argue that, had HBS not been relegated to accommodate absolute incompetence like Gagoi family in the party, Congress wouldn’t have lost the state elections so precariously. During the run up to the state election; while talking to Sekhar Gupta, HBS candidly narrated the incident that propelled his decision to quit Congress. I had almost made up my mind to quit the party and this was the proverbial last straw, HBS said as a prologue. According to HBS, RG in an irritating display of nonchalance, remained busy feeding Pidi when he paid him a visit to discuss the upcoming elections and how Congress’s position is getting weaker by the day. I thought my leader would hear me out and discuss the measures to be taken to clean up the mess at state level, HBS added. But surprisingly he behaved as if my words matters least for the party. I had enough of a leader who simply doesn’t care what his state leadership is harping upon, a frustrated HBS was seen saying. Rightly HBS took no time in reminding RG of his behaviour vis-à-vis Pidi once the tweet was out. A political banter much needed, I would say. But look at how a slave reacts to it. Logic and self-respect vilifies every Congressi at utmost ease. And Priyanka Chaturvedi is hardly any exception here. It takes severe stupidity, unimaginable of humans, to admit in open that your slavery towards a family is self-inflicted and you are proud of it. But PC seems to be a super human, for whom slavery is a virtue and that too an ornamental one at that. 

I always maintain – Congress hacks aren’t very bright people. Stupid and shameless like Priyanka Chaturvedi make me stand vindicated always. 

Now the moot question is – what RG is trying to achieve by buying bots or those fake/virtual support from countries that nobody knew existed? I know RG amazes me in all possible ways but I would still be greatly disappointed if RG or his team believes that such tantrums would win them elections or a Pidi would inflate their vote share. That has never happened. To win elections you first need to have your ears planted to the ground realities. Your dog may be as lethargic as mine and devoid of any juggling skills unlike Pidi but you being connected to the masses is a foregone conclusion. And I am not sure about the smart Pidi but RG as a politician knows nothing about people’s aspiration or for that matter the ground realities that forms the base of any election. He still is as clueless as what he was when he entered politics a decade and half back. If RG thinks he would concur Gujarat and HP by bringing all the Pidis of the world then I must say, he or his team full with slaves, has learn nothing after multiple debacles. When parading last three generations, starting with Nehru and down,  during political rallies had resulted in disastrous outcomes, how much Pidi would suck the wind in favour is anybody’s guess. People want RG to showcase his leadership qualities, both in words and actions while the man in question has only got Pidi and a bunch of slaves to offer. ‘Desh Main Computer Laya Kaun’ could win you elections ten years back but not today. ‘Modi Ji Bidesh Jate Hain, Wahan Ki Daal Khate Hain’ would only make RG a laughing stock, if he already isn’t one. Political gaffes are synonym with RG and his IQ has become a national joke and in such a situation how much Pidi would help to improve that is almost a no-brainer to conclude. 


Does it take so much effort to realize that without substance, mere bots and Pidi would be of no help? And the very first step towards being substantive is to build constructive narrative. Somebody correctly said – opposing is an art. And I am sure RG is no artist. This tweet alone shows how deplorable RG has gone with his narratives. Earlier it used to reflect on his IQ or the lack of it while today it reflects on his character as a leader. Though he re-phrases Mirza Ghalib he gives tranquillity a big miss. A leader who exposes himself as RG does has no business being in politics. This very tweet suggests that, had there been a decrease in rank in the negative direction, that would have delighted RG no ends. Cluelessness has affected the thought process so badly that the urge to get delighted at every failure or bad name for our country has become a norm with RG and many other slaves of the party. More amazing is that Congress as a party believes they can get away every time. Just to attack/criticize Modi and the present day government these clowns would even line up before our enemy’s door. Don’t be surprised if they do it actually. Morons like Manishankar Aayeir have already done this spectacle on Pakistani soil. Does RG think people would forget his unenessary jibes while voting? Certainly not and it is evident from the fact that Congress is losing every state election of this country without much fuss. 

If RG believes, bots and Pidi would win him Gujarat then RG has his retard brain to blame, come the counting day. People have turned very smart and sooner this realization dawns upon the Congress party is better. ‘Maa-Baap-Dadi’ jamboree would decimate the party further. Opposing the government even for the damp weather in Rome would render the party irrelevant in a quick time and I am not sure how far Pidi would be helpful here. 

By the way – from where Pidi is contesting this election on a Congress ticket? On the hindsight, Pidi seems to have more chance of winning than most of the present day Congress slaves.                  
          

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