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Thursday, December 7, 2017

The Daydreamers

Team Being Cynical
Yesterday CSDS came up with their poll projection for the upcoming Gujarat state assembly. In general I don’t fancy these pre-poll projections. Most of them invariably fail. I purely rely on my own studies and my own numbers. When it comes to CSDS, I even tend to stay at least a couple of miles away from their political punditry or the lack of it. They are serial offenders in churning out bogus numbers that routinely remains galaxy away from the actual results on the counting day. They were the ones who predicted only 178 seats for BJP during the 2014 general elections. They again pulled out a rabbit from their hats and predicted just 158 seats for BJP in the recently concluded UP state elections. And we all know where the actual numbers ended up. I can’t remember a single election where these CSDS chaps even could come anywhere within the 30% range. The best they could achieve in their history as psephologists is the Bihar elections.  There even they were near about 35% out of range from the actual numbers. With such history as their achievements, I may not have to elaborate how believable these guys could be. If all agencies involved in the business of poll projections are a bunch of worthless jokers, CSDS will easily run away with the crown without sustaining much fight. 

Nonetheless, what their projection was – though BJP may just scamper through, it is a neck-and-neck fight between Congress and BJP in the state with massive gain for Congress in last few months. Really? From where they pull this out from? Not sure from where but it certainly stinks. How I wish, before letting out their stupid survey for public consumption, they should at least have cross-questioned their own political acumen of the state once again, which by any stretch of imagination isn’t appearing encouraging. You need not have to toil it on the streets of Ahmadabad to gauge it. Anyone even having remote interest with the Gujarat political landscape of last decade would feel it in his/her gut staying far away from the state. And these clowns claim to have gone there and asked real voters on the street for their data input. I resign!! 

Sparing myself a momentary but healthy laughter, I sat across wondering; which ‘La La Land’ are these guys living? This question also concerned the Congress party which of late have started believing these fantasy stories. It is one thing to be happy about a fairy-tale and quite another in believing them. Even kids beyond age 3 are smart enough to pick a fairy-tale from the rest of the stories. 

Congress or for that matter any party has largely remained lacklustre in the state for quite some time. Even calling them lacklustre is an understatement. In fact there ain’t any credible opposition left in the state. As a double whammy, Congress even is in doldrums in the centre as well. After all sycophancy can only propel a party as much. When you instil a failure like Rahul Gandhi as your party head and that too with all possible enthusiasm and euphoria, it only reflects at the state of the party as a whole, which, to say the least, isn’t very reassuring. You can’t have a party claiming to have a vision for the nation and yet merit routinely evades you with ease. The sycophants in Congress seems to have learnt nothing from the past. Nor they want to learn either, which is evident from the recent Shazaad Poonawala fiasco. But much on that later. Surprising is, the slaves in the party feel RG would win it for them in a state where BJP and Modi have built a political fortress over the years with their hard work. But why so much faith on a person who has nothing to offer? Not that RG has won them anything in the past. He had been a complete failure. Someone correctly said – RG could be anything but a responsible politician. He won’t even win a municipality election without his surname, much less winning anything for his party. Self-destruction is an art that many may not be capable of mastering. But then, there always are geniuses who achieve this feat without sweating a drop. And I am sure Congress is full with such ultra-geniuses.  

As if selecting RG to lead them wasn’t bad enough they managed to draw their second biggest fault line. And that fault line ladies and gentlemen is deploying RG to campaign in the state. Whatever the prince has touched has turned into ashes sooner than later. He not only delivers nothing but he actually delivers in the negative. The more people listen to this hack, more they get determined to vote for BJP. This has happened many times in the past. Entirely unconvincing and uninspiring, RG stands up and dishes out his stupidity much to the discomfort of his party and the audience alike. “Gujarat women give more milk” or “Alu Ki Factory” or that famous “We don’t need infrastructure” are just few of them. The narrative that BJP-Modi-Shah have managed to establish in the state would require a serious politician to even stand a chance to dent a bit while we all know, RG is neither serious nor a politician. A party animal crowned in by the sycophants is not what appears as a credible challenge. It never could be.

For the last six months RG is campaigning relentlessly in the state with his usual tantrums. But just tantrums with no substance would hardly win you anything. Like his sycophant cohorts RG too haven’t learnt anything. Perhaps he isn’t designed to learn anything at all. He did pretty much the same nonsense during the UP election and we all know what the results were. He had the same approach during 2014 elections as well. For last ten years RG has nothing but stupidity to offer and each election his moroniry is being rejected by the voters. I am glad for the first time both Congress and RG thought of changing the approach a bit. And what that change would be? Yes, pretend to be a Hindu favouring party and try to attract the Hindu votes. But fooling voters isn’t easy anymore. 

Congress as a party consistently remained anti Hindu. They have built a party on the pure purview of religious appeasement. Their day starts and ends with minority appeasement, even at times compromising basic Hindu rights. Taking an anti-Hindu stance was always the USP of the party. I am told even RG identifies himself as a non-Hindu in all his official documents. Do you think I am complaining? Hell no; why should I? He isn’t a Hindu to begin with so I am ok with that. What makes me side-split is when the likes of RG and his bunch of slaves take shelter of Hinduism as and when deemed necessary and convenient. The clown goes to Somnath temple and registers himself as non-Hindu as he should. But when someone points at that, the entire slave gang crawls out of the woodwork to defend. Even morons like Randeep Surjyawala called RG a ‘Janeyu Dhari’ Brahmin; whatever that means. Since when and how RG incarnated as a Brahmin is still a mystery to many; precisely what BJP latched onto to make a point. The media crooks who were busy discussing Modi’s unwillingness to wear a skull cap all this while suddenly found religion and religious beliefs too personal matters to be discussed in open. Really? Where was this enlightenment when Modi was being castigated in an organized way by the same thugs for last ten odd years? I never saw anyone hailing Modi’s religious beliefs as his personal matter. But as I always say – cartoonists seldom miss the nuance in a political farce. I am sure most those who would be voting couldn’t care less for a failure like RG, much less his religion. But by doing the drama and pretending to be a Hindu, RG and Congress scored a classic self-goal. I am sure the soap opera would misfire badly as most of RG’s nonsense misfired in the past. I always say this with authority – RG can offer the nation nothing except drama, hypocrisy, incompetence and a bunch of pets who bark (barring Pidi) when asked.

RG proudly calls himself and his family ‘Shiv Bhakts’. Someone please educate this little brat that only smoking weed doesn’t make one a ‘Shiv Bhakt’. RG and his notorious family members spent their entire life sabotaging the Hindus and suddenly the prince wakes up to a new beginning in his life. Whom are they fooling? Examples of Congress’s anti Hindu stance are plenty. You may not have to put much effort in finding one. While ‘Janeyu Dhari’ RG pretends around as a ‘Shiv Bhakt’ his sidekick Kapil Shibal goes to Supreme Court and demands the decision on the construction of Ram Mandir in Ayodhya be postponed till 2019 general elections are over. And I disagree to believe that the sidekick is doing so on his own. Once a slave, always a slave. When he would be asking for permission to visit the loo, he certainly would have the blessings of Congress top brass for all his legal nonsense. Where was RG and his ‘Janeyu’ hiding here? 

Perhaps this incompetency leads to attract other incompetent idiots from the block to join in. That is precisely why jokers like Hardik Patel, Alpesh Thakor and Jignesh Mevani got aligned to the Congress party. Who are these guys and what are their specifc service to the public? Except public stupidity these jokers haven’t done anything credible in their whole life. This very association explains itself without much fuss. I am not sure who is at the losing end though; Congress or these three clowns but they seems to complement each other so seemingly at present. Facts apart, just look at the vision bankruptcy with RG and the Congress. Of all the people they could only get their hands on a bunch of louts who are largely freeloaders of the worst category. But this is what Congress always was. Appeasing and throwing freebies to one sect or the other is their primary action point. Dividing the society on the basis of cast, creed and religion comes unbelievably naturally to the Congress party. To hide each and every incompetency of theirs they throw freebies to one sect or the other. This time some funny reservation promise to the ‘Patidars’ to accommodate a moron like Hardik Patel. Someone who is nothing but a nuisance maker has suddenly become a darling to the Congress party. He not only had the clueless RG arm-twisted to agree to what he wants but also fooled (if at all RG is required to be fooled) the prince in believing that the association would help. Meeting each other secretly like thugs was the funniest of them all. Why so much secrecy? What is there to hide? This is how RG kicks his own posterior regularly. Again, the cartoonist didn’t miss the nuance in this unholy association either. A grand old party lets itself being blackmailed to agree with an association that looks so moronic from whichever direction you look. Does it need any more elaboration?

But siding with incompetence and building that aura of entitlement around the first family is routine to the Congress party. They run a family business where slaves are instructed to follow the dictate. No involvement of brain is required. In fact employing your brain while in Congress is a crime. Whoever refuses to crawl before 10 Janpath is duly shunted out. Latest casualty being a certain Shazaad Poonawala. Poor chap wanted to set merit as the guiding principle of the party. Little did he was aware of the tradition in Congress where merit and meritocracy finds no mention. He challenged RG and his incompetence with facts and logic and look how he was responded with. Tolerating healthy dissent is something which never is appreciated in Congress while as a party they regularly go about shouting to the city centre and calling everyone else intolerant. No sooner SP questioned the credentials of RG he was thrown out from every possible Congress association including some stupid WhatsApp groups. The screenshot that SP himself shared says a lot about the slavery that has gone deep within the party structure. If required they would rather be happy to install ‘Pidi’ as the party chief instead of a qualified and genuine non-Gandhi candidate. Irony, most from the sycophant group have no shame in admitting so. In fact the dog metaphor isn’t a metaphor anymore. After RG’s tweet on ‘Pidi’ most of the pets in the Congress readily crawled before that poor dog for his blessings. We saw that throughout the day when each Congress spokesperson was rhyming ‘Pidi’ without taking a breath. I am afraid Shezaad, with RG and ‘Pidi’ around no one stands a chance to make it to the top of Congress party, let alone you.

With such stupidity and a bunch of jokers tucked along, RG dreams of unsettling BJP-Modi from the state of Gujarat. How naïve it is, no? I always thought daydreaming has a limit but not anymore. Hacks like RG and his slaves have dragged daydreaming to a new impossible low. For last 10 years RG has successfully managed to destroy the Congress party and whoever else joined hands with them. Yet the clowns believe this time RG would turn it around. That is like believing S. Sreesanth would make a comeback and take 500 test wickets. Jokes apart, this Sreesanth thing could be possible though.

By the way, since it is the time of the elections and every Tom, Dick and Haroon Bhai is turning out be a psephologist, it would be terribly unfair if I stay behind. Let me put on my psephologist’s hat and predict a number for BJP. And the number that I see for BJP, come December 18th, is 142 (in bold and capital). 

Where are the Congress numbers, you may ask. Well, it hardly matters, with all honesty. 
         

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