Who Cares Who Becomes The President?

Honestly, nobody really cares who becomes our next president. Partly because we never find the utility of such posts in our country nor ever we have seen the person in such positions has done anything significant for the nation that people have gone crazy and kissed Muthia Murlitharan’s ass out of happiness. Another part because we Indians seldom care or show interest for anything until someone plants a truck load of RDx in our backyard or the neighbor’s dog shits in front of our door. So in a complex Indian mentality where life is all about watching Cricket, being corrupt or ducking yourself from the corrupts, making Rajnikanth jokes, listening to Rahul Gandhi’s bhasans, peeing on every electricity poll one can find, fighting with every second person on the street and tolerating all those honorable or not so honorable politicians 24/7; how importance seeking phenomena our Presidential elections could be is anybody’s guess. Hence, I am no exception to an average Indian on this at least and even interested less than what Munaf Patel is interested for a bath on who is going to be our next President or if we end up having no President at all.

Not sure about the entire nation on their reasons for treating the president and the post as a bigger burden than what Bisen Singh Bedi is for world cricket, but here are the reasons which always makes me wonder – if we can abolish other nonsense like Child Marriage, Sati rituals, TADA, honesty then why not this bloody post?

Money wasting extravaganza: -   I hate this position primarily because a lot of money is wasted in decorating such posts and maintaining such individuals. In a nation where a lot of people are still forced to survive on their own shit a ‘someone’ enjoying a luxurious life as if he/she has managed to successfully clean shave Anil Kapoor, is seriously some real bizarre stuff. The protocol that an entire nation is forced to follow so that such craps can be accommodated is more bizarre. Crores of rupees are spend annually to maintain such protocols alone. For example, a useless entity designated as President Calls for an equally useless spouse to be treated at par. That means an equal amount has to be wasted on someone whom anyone barely knows or cares for. Don’t believe me? Then just ask yourself the names of the spouses of all our Presidents except A.P.J. Abdul Kalam since he has none. Money wasted on maintaining the status-quo alone could easily feed thousands of homeless on daily basis. If that is not enough, our Presidents surprisingly enough, readily agree to visit foreign lands, even when they are crippled with lose motion is another of the waste which should not be tolerated. An average President making around 100 foreign trips on tax payer’s money is nothing less than criminal in a nation where 40% of the populace still languishes under a poverty line which Monteksing Ahluwalliah (he is another idiot) would disagree to believe. I mean, what’s the take? Why a useless individual has to fly around half of the nations on the globe just because he happens to be the President of the country?

Being called as the First Citizen: - Please shoot the idiot who has come up with such stuff. What the hell is this ‘First Citizen’ nonsense? How come an average working individual who contributes towards the growth of the nation becomes a second or third or God knows what citizen in comparison to an absolute waste who never has contributed anything since his/her birth? Why I as a hardworking and law abiding citizen be treated anything less than what we are forced to treat someone who on any given day is as useful as my Tennis coach? I strongly object to someone being felicitated with the first citizen degree for doing absolutely nothing or worse for doing only crazy things while we, who slog like mules, for even to buy our underwear are treated less. This honorary designation becomes more annoying when you know very well about the person’s credentials; both morally and otherwise, which would not be anything beyond the level of an average street thug.

The Rashtrapati Bhavan: - Trust me; this is more bizarre than Sonu Nigam’s hairdo. In a country where the number of homeless is emerging as the second biggest concern after the repeated threat of Baba Ramdev to enter politics, someone putting up in a Manson sprawling across few acres of land and that too in the heart of the nation’s capital is like Rahul Gandhi addressing a bunch of sorry looking tribal with a mineral water bottle in hand. It is more frustrating to know, that it is we, the so called second citizens who sponsor for such luxury of an individual who doesn’t even qualify to be a peon on the scale of merits. Common tax payer’s money is wasted on the lavish lifestyle of a person who is supposed to do nothing, fly around the globe for no apparent reason, pretend to act like a statesman while a big time bootlicker in realty and address the nation on the eve of republic day or independence day if he/she has enough time left after gargantuan land grabbing. This is utter nonsense to have such huge modern day palaces with all five star facilities made available to the so called first citizens of the nation when a good 15% of the second citizens’ spend their entire lives, either under a flyover or railway stations. In a poor country like ours, why we have to invest in having working staffs of around three hundred to just do sundry jobs in the Rashtrapati Bhavan is a question which no one seems interested to answer. To even further mock our starving and half naked kids on the streets, we also have a lavish garden inside the palatal palace, just in case our worthless president decides to take an evening saunter. Least talked about the hundreds of crores spend in maintaining such extravagance is better. I am strongly against having outright garbage staying in government sponsored 1000 room homes when at the same time I see poor students studying on open fields due to the lack of school buildings or critically ill patients lying on the isles for the lack of beds in our hospitals.

Pratibha Patil: -She is someone who thoroughly convinced me that we in realty don’t need any such pathetic post in our political domain at all. Honestly, if there is someone whom I hate more than Sahid Afridi or may be Himesh Reshamiya, it has to be this lady. I am sure the main culprit in propelling the citizenry to lose whatever remaining faiths they had on an institution like the President of India; it is this lady who stands out among the lot. After looting a hell lot of cooperative banks back in her hometown this woman was entrusted upon us to make a joke of us on all international platforms and make a mockery of something called sensible thinking. While most of the previous Presidents were accused of doing nothing, this lady was rather very active but in an entire wrong direction. From taking along her extended family on foreign tours regularly to making Puran Poli to polish the taste buds of Sonia Gandhi, this lady was all over the place in insulting the term ‘First Citizen’. Not to contain in these qualities alone, she was one greedy president on whom even the greediest of Gujarati would take pride. The greed went so far that, this lady still being the President ended up grabbing few acres of defense land in Pune to build her post-retirement home, only to let it go when a hell lot of people from different walks of life pounced on her with some vengeance. History is only a proof, if such duffers are made the President of this nation again and again, time is not far when people would come out on the streets and pelt stones at random politicians.