Monday, August 13, 2012
Why 15th August Shouldn't Be A Dry Day
I am sure; there would be lot of people who will stare at me as if I am a pathetic human being once they read few lines of this post. At the outset I want to do an Indian politician act and request the readers with folded hands to read through without getting emotional as if the only grandson married an Ethiopian without the family consent. Else I have no option but to tell you about the strong association that I enjoy with groups like ‘Sriram Sene’ and of late ‘Maharashtra Nava Nirman Sena’. No, I don’t want to threaten but some kind of resume of mine, which I want all of you to know. So while we are approaching our Independence Day, which I am told we achieved by the means of non-violence only, violence is the last thing that I expect from my countrymen and that too for this shitty piece of write up. Hence let all of us be little pious with our attitude and go through the whole damn script without even getting tempted to call up a Supari killer from Mumbai with my address and name written on a small piece of paper.
Sometime back a friend (still consider him a friend even though he gifted me some kind of reptile eggs on my 21st birthday which thankfully never hatched) asked me this mind boggling question. Mind boggling not because of the veracity of the question but because, knowing the nature of my nonexistent brain, how in earth I haven’t thought about it yet? “Why it is a Dry Day on our Independence Day?” Like most of the time I didn’t had the adequate answer then to satisfy the burning urge of my already inebriated friend to get to the root of such obnoxious rules. Even though I never thought about it before, I became angry immediately for such nonsensical rules, partly because I couldn’t understand the logic behind such rules and another part because my friend was insisting for an answer with every second gulp of his beer. I quailed with anger on the bloody government to put me in such horrendous situation by forming such idiotic frameworks and to fate for arranging this meeting where I have to spend a beautiful weekend evening with an absolute rascal. I vowed to get to the bottom of it and when I did so I realized, declaring our Independence Day or for that matter any day as a dry day is an absolute nonsense. And I will tell you why.
We Indians are bloody money minded, so let’s get to the economics attached with our rambling drunkards of the street. The annual revenue that our government grosses from alcohol tax stands at a staggering 30,000 crore. That is a huge lot of money; so huge that our UPA government can readily float the long pending ‘Rajiv Gandhi Urban And Semi Urban iPad Guarantee Scheme’ and still be left with enough change to pocket a dozen MPs during a standard no-confidence motion. A simple mathematic will tell you, it is coarsely 83 crores per day in average. That is again something which I am sure is much more than the annual budget of Bappi Lahiri’s jewelry expenditure. So in nutshell, 83 crore is the money that our corrupt government loses every Independence Day. Think about a state like Karnataka which tops the chartbuster of maximum alcohol revenue earners at an annual 4060 crores. That is 12 crores lost right there and you only shout for the money lost by the state government due to Bellary Reddys? Does anyone taking an account of the liquor consumption by all the means during these dry days? It shouldn’t be a surprise if the volume (monetarily not liter wise) of consumption remains pretty much same as any other normal day. Only difference that a dry day makes is the government end up losing few crores while we encourage black money transactions. A simple Beer bottle (not even chilled) costs around Rs 500/- from its original price of Rs 130/-. Aren’t we already fed up with Baba Ramdev’s black money outcry that we are giving him readymade excuses? Shame on you our worthless law makers for not thinking on the larger perspective.
Second flaw that I see in this whole dry day business is the manner in which we Indians associate patriotism with everything. Not only us Indians, even our bloody government as well. For us even making love to our wives has also some correlation with patriotism. Though we have more dishonest people than the joint European population but we still love to throw our pseudo patriotism more regularly than Sashi Tharoor throws his controversial Tweets. I am sure a large chunk of the reasons in making our Independence Day a dry day has got to do with patriotism, directly or indirectly. Now the question is, does having a drink every now and then make you unpatriotic? Does having a drink on Independence Day make you unpatriotic then? Is it kind of a moral crime and I become a moronic villain if I watch the third remake of the movie Saheed (please someone extradite this Bobby Deol) aired on Fantoosh TV with a beer can in my hand? Is that automatically becomes an insult to Saheed Bhagat Singh.. Err Bobby Deol? Does it make me any less patriotic which I otherwise would have been because of the dry day? If no then why can’t I drink on Independence Day? Seriously, it really is a sight pollution to see patrons standing in a queue in front of liquor shops on August 14th and waiting for hours together for a bottle of Beer? Hell that is so rubbish when we don’t value the time of individuals. That is bloody why we are still behind China in many ways than one. If you think you can inculcate patriotism by forcing people not to drink and fall in gutters on Independence Day then I think my Tennis coach is way saner than you guys.
I have seen many argue on the point that drinking is an act of disrespect. Seriously? I mean it could be an act of social evil if you routinely engage in bashing up your wife and kids or even people on the street after a good bottle down but disrespect? To whom? Limba Ram? This is the biggest rubbish I have heard since ‘Hindi Chini Bhai Bhai’. The logic that a beer on Independence Day is an act dof disrespect to all those martyrs and freedom fighters is as bizarre as Arnav Goswami’s ‘News Hour’. Guys, get over it. Our martyrs would have already committed suicide up there by just looking at our corrupt avatars for so long. Hence there isn’t much disrespect towards someone who already would be hopeless of our revival with all probability, wouldn’t be expecting anything from us anymore, let alone respect.For me declaring a dry day, for anything or occasion is always been the worst kind of decision (worse than making Pratibha Patil as our President) one can take. And I know this is a cumulative decision that is been thrust upon us by few brainless creatures who randomly think through their bullshit brain and come to such crazy outcomes. If drinking is such an insult to our independence then why we are not banning it completely? Why in earth we have subsidized liquor sold in our defense canteens? And by the way can someone clarify since I am not quite aware if there is also a dry day in CSD canteens on the occasion of Independence Day? I bet it ain’t.