Why 15th August Shouldn't Be A Dry Day
I am sure; there would be lot of people who will stare at me
as if I am a pathetic human being once they read few lines of this post. At the
outset I want to do an Indian politician act and request the readers with
folded hands to read through without getting emotional as if the only grandson
married an Ethiopian without the family consent. Else I have no option but to
tell you about the strong association that I enjoy with groups like ‘Sriram
Sene’ and of late ‘Maharashtra Nava Nirman Sena’. No, I don’t want to threaten
but some kind of resume of mine, which I want all of you to know. So while we
are approaching our Independence Day, which I am told we achieved by the means
of non-violence only, violence is the last thing that I expect from my
countrymen and that too for this shitty piece of write up. Hence let all of us
be little pious with our attitude and go through the whole damn script without
even getting tempted to call up a Supari killer from Mumbai with my address and
name written on a small piece of paper.
Sometime back a friend (still consider him a friend even
though he gifted me some kind of reptile eggs on my 21st birthday
which thankfully never hatched) asked me this mind boggling question. Mind
boggling not because of the veracity of the question but because, knowing the
nature of my nonexistent brain, how in earth I haven’t thought about it yet? “Why
it is a Dry Day on our Independence Day?” Like most of the time I didn’t had
the adequate answer then to satisfy the burning urge of my already inebriated
friend to get to the root of such obnoxious rules. Even though I never thought
about it before, I became angry immediately for such nonsensical rules, partly
because I couldn’t understand the logic behind such rules and another part
because my friend was insisting for an answer with every second gulp of his
beer. I quailed with anger on the bloody government to put me in such
horrendous situation by forming such idiotic frameworks and to fate for
arranging this meeting where I have to spend a beautiful weekend evening with
an absolute rascal. I vowed to get to the bottom of it and when I did so I
realized, declaring our Independence Day or for that matter any day as a dry
day is an absolute nonsense. And I will tell you why.
We Indians are bloody money minded, so let’s get to the
economics attached with our rambling drunkards of the street. The annual
revenue that our government grosses from alcohol tax stands at a staggering
30,000 crore. That is a huge lot of money; so huge that our UPA government can
readily float the long pending ‘Rajiv Gandhi Urban And Semi Urban iPad Guarantee
Scheme’ and still be left with enough change to pocket a dozen MPs during a
standard no-confidence motion. A simple mathematic will tell you, it is coarsely
83 crores per day in average. That is again something which I am sure is much
more than the annual budget of Bappi Lahiri’s jewelry expenditure. So in nutshell,
83 crore is the money that our corrupt government loses every Independence Day.
Think about a state like Karnataka which tops the chartbuster of maximum
alcohol revenue earners at an annual 4060 crores. That is 12 crores lost right
there and you only shout for the money lost by the state government due to
Bellary Reddys? Does anyone taking an account of the liquor consumption by all
the means during these dry days? It shouldn’t be a surprise if the volume (monetarily
not liter wise) of consumption remains pretty much same as any other normal day.
Only difference that a dry day makes is the government end up losing few crores
while we encourage black money transactions. A simple Beer bottle (not even
chilled) costs around Rs 500/- from its original price of Rs 130/-. Aren’t we
already fed up with Baba Ramdev’s black money outcry that we are giving him readymade
excuses? Shame on you our worthless law makers for not thinking on the larger
perspective.
Second flaw that I see in this whole dry day business is the
manner in which we Indians associate patriotism with everything. Not only us
Indians, even our bloody government as well. For us even making love to our wives
has also some correlation with patriotism. Though we have more dishonest people
than the joint European population but we still love to throw our pseudo
patriotism more regularly than Sashi Tharoor throws his controversial Tweets. I
am sure a large chunk of the reasons in making our Independence Day a dry
day has got to do with patriotism, directly or indirectly. Now the question is,
does having a drink every now and then make you unpatriotic? Does having a
drink on Independence Day make you unpatriotic then? Is it kind of a moral
crime and I become a moronic villain if I watch the third remake of the movie
Saheed (please someone extradite this Bobby Deol) aired on Fantoosh TV with a
beer can in my hand? Is that automatically becomes an insult to Saheed Bhagat
Singh.. Err Bobby Deol? Does it make me any less patriotic which I otherwise
would have been because of the dry day? If no then why can’t I drink on
Independence Day? Seriously, it really is a sight pollution to see patrons
standing in a queue in front of liquor shops on August 14th and
waiting for hours together for a bottle of Beer? Hell that is so rubbish when
we don’t value the time of individuals. That is bloody why we are still behind
China in many ways than one. If you think you can inculcate patriotism by
forcing people not to drink and fall in gutters on Independence Day then I
think my Tennis coach is way saner than you guys.
I have seen many argue on the point that drinking is an act
of disrespect. Seriously? I mean it could be an act of social evil if you
routinely engage in bashing up your wife and kids or even people on the street
after a good bottle down but disrespect? To whom? Limba Ram? This is the
biggest rubbish I have heard since ‘Hindi Chini Bhai Bhai’. The logic that a
beer on Independence Day is an act dof disrespect to all those martyrs and freedom
fighters is as bizarre as Arnav Goswami’s ‘News Hour’. Guys, get over it. Our martyrs
would have already committed suicide up there by just looking at our corrupt
avatars for so long. Hence there isn’t much disrespect towards someone who
already would be hopeless of our revival with all probability, wouldn’t be
expecting anything from us anymore, let alone respect.
For
me declaring a dry day, for anything or occasion is always been the worst kind
of decision (worse than making Pratibha Patil as our President) one can take.
And I know this is a cumulative decision that is been thrust upon us by few
brainless creatures who randomly think through their bullshit brain and come to
such crazy outcomes. If drinking is such an insult to our independence then why
we are not banning it completely? Why in earth we have subsidized liquor sold in our defense canteens? And by the way
can someone clarify since I am not quite aware if there is also a dry day in
CSD canteens on the occasion of Independence Day? I bet it ain’t.
He he he...
ReplyDeleteFinally someone who thinks for people like us. I fully support you and your views
This should be send to PC so that he can manage the fiscal defecit.... you forgot to mention Kerala, the most cronic alcohol consumed state..
ReplyDeleteToo. Long. And. Massively. Boring.
ReplyDeleteDry day ??
ReplyDeleteSome wine shops (well almost all) 'service' their partons on 'dry days' too, with half shutters. He He.
It is as if the patrons bow before entering or accepting the delivery of alcohol which is not done on the other days ... well so much for respect.
Not to forget mentioning the law makers who continue visting the waterholes to collect their usual even on dry days ...
So much for patriotism ... well that reminds me to put in more beer in the fridge for tomorrow ...
Have a (hic) independence day !!
This has been put into force because they found politician's drunk during unfurling of the flag wherein instead of the flag they were unfurling their dhoties
ReplyDeleteYeah it is also dry at CSD Canteens
ReplyDeleteHey dude...nice big lines up there...bt we cant sit on hunger strike for removing this dry day.....so I guess today itself need to keep the quota.Disrespect and respect has nothing to do with alcohal..
ReplyDeleteIts out of respect for Mahatma Gandhi.
ReplyDeleteIf Revenue is all that a nation should care then legalize and licence prostitution pornography bettting gambling drugs narcotics!!!
Looks Like Day by day the quality of your posts is degrading...Sad..
ReplyDelete