Top 10 Interesting Events Of 2013

Now I am starting a new series in Being Cynical. Though the plan as of now stands at publishing any such list once a year during the year end week; the idea can be uplifted to twice or even once in every quarter, depending on readers’ feedback. You would have guessed by now what that series could be from the post heading. Yes – it would comprise the top 10 interesting, bizarre, funny and loathsome event that happened over the year. And by the way, it would not necessarily contain only political events. So without wasting much of a time, lets jump in to the events themselves. As always your feedback will help add more juice to this series in coming years/months.

P.S – It is an ordered list, starting with the least interesting to the most

10. Asharam Bapu’s Extravagance

This guy is a genius. So is his retard son. As much you say on this father-son duo it would still not sound enough. Such was the scale of bizarreness these two rascals brought into the public domain. While the father was busy with his Chichorapan on disciples of his granddaughter’s age the son was on an all-India Yatra to rape women disciples at various Ashrams. Things even get more loathsome when one realizes that this is the same father-son duo who were supposed to be the flag bearer of humanity through their preaching to their millions of followers who in all probability have their brains right in their respective posteriors or worse it is totally absent. Asaram was the same moron who explained how Jyoti Singh Yadav (No Nirbhaya or Damini nonsense of our media) could have escaped the horrific December night, has she pleaded the rapists to spare her by addressing them ‘Bhaiya’. I guess he is correct since his hapless disciples must have pleaded by addressing this scoundrel as ‘Daddu’ when he was at it and still got raped by him. They should have rather shown their love by calling him Asharam Bapu Bhaiya. No? But irony he is a so called God-Man and his equally despicable followers swear by this rascal’s name.

9. Devyani Kobragade Arrest

We made a joke box of ourselves even quicker than we thought we can. This is a clear open-and-shut case where the lady in the eye of the storm is accused of employing someone to iron her Sarees without properly addressing the norms of the state. She is a violator of the law and duly been taken to task in USA. Since we jokers are so used to ass worship the people in power that we can’t even imagine packing them behind the bars for their crimes, we reacted like retards at once. When I say we, it includes our spineless government, our bizarre media and even to some extent a bunch of people for whom nationalism is all about clicking the like button on a nationalistic page in Facebook. As a response to this so called humiliation, while our clueless Govt was busy removing barricades in front of the USA consulate our media was 24/7 on this topic as if someone has declared a war on us. If that was not enough, jokers were also seen vandalizing Dominoz outlets in protest. In all of this farce the real loser is the culprit woman. She not only got arrested and stripped but her nefarious dealings of the Adarsh scam came to the public glare. Hell even her candidature in the UPSC exam is being questioned by few. To top it, the Papa Kobragade is all over the place with his bundle of threats if his daughter is not supported appropriately by the Govt. But at least one good thing came out of this. After a long time we got to see the clown Salman Khurshid with his habitual absurdities on television.

8. JD(U) Separation From BJP

I am sure Nitish Kumar knows very well that he is the modern day Srikhandi of India. Though Srikhandi was successful with his usefulness, this Srikhandi seems to have failed miserably when he was used by Congress dirty tricks department to derail the announcement of Narendra Modi as the PM candidate of NDA. But I don’t blame Nitish Kumar alone. I mean this is what happens when you harvest the dream of being the PM of the nation with barely 20 MPs on your side. For someone who even needs the support of allies to continue running his government in the state, dreaming of becoming the PM of the nation bound to give serious nightmares. Making Deve Gowda as your role model has dangerous consequences and that is what Nitish Kumar is facing now. Like Devyani, the loser here is Nitish Kumar and he can only assess the amount of loss once the the 2014 general elections are over; provided he is still playing ostrich to the ground realities and in a denial mode. Till date I find it grossly indigestible to believe that Nitish Kumar thought the NDA would declare him as the PM candidate ahead of anyone from BJP. The carrot of special status to Bihar and a probable PM post if he allies with Congress, will surely going to boomerang on Nitish Kumar at the end and when that happens, he may very well have to wash off his hands from the CM chair as well. You know, few people love to learn the lessons the toughest way.

7. Dehati Aurat Saga

High fives to Nawaz Sarif and I personally thank him a lot for making me realize how it feels being in the act of ROFLMAO. We call Manmohan Singh by many names including ‘Mute Button’ but nothing matches to what our neighbor has to say. We will get to the moroniry of the great Barkha Dutt in all of this but first tell me; how many of you agree with Nawaz Sarif’s assessments? I for one sure. We call ourselves the so called super power but every time we run towards USA crying and complaining how Pakistan yet again pulled open our Langoti. That said how benign it is on the part of Barkha Dutt to hide it with her live from such facts to come out in the public? When the other jurno from GEO TV, who was accompanying Barkha at a dinner hosted by Nawaz Sarif and admitted to have heard Sarif addressing MMS as a ‘Dehati Aurat’, what made Barkha to scanter around denying that? Love for Nawaz Sarif and Pakistan? Or she simply didn’t want the reality about our spineless government and how we are perceived by our neighbors to come out? When there was no clarification from Pakistan PMO after the revelation by GEO TV, Barkha was seen talking on behalf of both GEO TV and the Pakistan PMO. That was funny, I tell you.

6. AAP’s Electoral Success

I am no fan of AAP and their gas bags meant at fooling the nation. To top it, the arrogance of the clowns like Kumar Viswas after winning just 28 legislative seats make them no different from the champion of arrogance, the Congress party. Anyway, they are the Congress-B team hence there has to be some similarity, if not the level of corruption. That said I must congratulate AAP for the phenomenal success in recently concluded Delhi elections. After all you deserve all the accolades for successfully managing to fool at least 35% of Delhi voters by just accusing others. If not for the number of seats, AAP need to be congratulated for effectively implementing so many of their gas bags. If you are from Honduras and hear any clown of AAP for the first time, you will get the feel as if they have won all the seats of the assembly, leaving only a dozen or so for other parties to share among themselves. Such is the level of arrogance. But little did I know the arrogance would culminate in hara-kiri when they decide to shoot out 25 lakh letters to the citizens and ask them to reply via YES or NO on what they feel about them forming the government. It is not involvement of citizens but the excess flavor of it, which is equally dangerous as the complete alienation of the public from governance. God forbid if China attacks us someday and we have these clowns at the helm, we might have to wait a good week for the referendum to come before we counter attack. Hope Arvind Kejriwal doesn’t asks for the YES or No on if he should visit the loo.

5. Nonsense Remark Of Rahul Gandhi

If there is a race for the finest dumb head on this planet, I feel Rahul Gandhi is in an exemplary hurry to lay his hands on that coveted trophy. He in fact strengthens his grip on the award with each of his actions or utterances. The best example of complete IQ bankruptcy from the prince came when he stormed into his own party’s press conference and termed the ordinance to negate the ruling of Apex court, barring the proved scoundrels of our politics from contesting polls, as nonsense. Well, the ordinance was always nonsense but so does the manner in which the Shezada intervened to vent his decorated anger. Where was the prince when few hawks of his own party were jolting down the ordinance at the first place? Sleeping in a Dalit hut? Or tearing manifestos of other political parties? Funnier was the expression of Ajay Maken, who was holding the very press conference to defend the shameless ordinance. Poor chap has to make an unbelievable somersault after the outburst of the hire apparent; so much so to even shame the monkeys of any reputed circus. In one go, the Yuvraj made a mess of everything including the democratic process and the man who unfortunately is identified as the PM of this nation.

4. Clean Sweep Of BJP in 4 State Elections

I am sure the entire Congress gang must still be wondering on what exactly hit them. But whatever that may be, it left many a morons of the party running for cover. In literal sense, Congress got wiped out in MP, Delhi and Rajasthan. To add to that, they are already wiped out in Gujarat, UP, Odisha, Bihar and West Bengal. Ahh, Congress seems to be a great case study for my lazy maid to understand what a perfect wiping is all about. Among all the results of this so called semifinal, the result of Rajasthan was funny in two aspects. First, Congress would have a sore posterior for a long, long time because of such merciless fingering of the voters and second the reasoning given by Ashok Ghelot to explain the loss. BJP told lies to the voters to mud sling our holier than cow government, he exclaimed. Wow, following the footsteps of his master Rahul Gandhi, No? That is so very similar to how Rahul Baba said to have told the gathering at FICCI on how corruption is bleeding the nation. The people and the party which invented corruption in this country took good 6 decades to loot everything the nation had and then educate all how dangerous this corruption is. Liars or rather seasoned liars who have made a career by just lying to public and fooling them are pointing at the nonexistent lies among their opponents.

3. Clean Chit To Modi In 2002 Riot Cases

This might have happened yesterday but a significant step towards truth and thwarting the left liberal frauds, those who have made a business enterprise out of the dead of the Gujarat riot. The cottage industries, those have mushroomed after the riot finally seeing their end and if things go on the line of truth as it is till now, morons like Teesta Setelvad would be only left with a Katora to beg in front of a Gurudwara for survival. It was also a tight slap on the faces of hundred Jholawalas at least. Scoundrels like Ramchandra Guha, Siddharth Vardarajan, Sabnam Hashmi, Javen Akhtar Jadoo and Mahesh Bhatt to name few now have to hide their faces with a layer of the same shit that they were busy hurling at Modi for last 10 years and do some ‘Gadhe ki Swarai’ around the city they live. A garland of rot out and stinking shoes won’t do any harm. First they formulated their nasty propagandas; then they lied before the courts; ley lied before the SIT and they lied before the nation. Eventually they were left with their pants and skirts down and their lies were picked, both by the courts and the SIT. Truth prevailed and the congregation of these pseudo-seculars aka jokers got the strongest of kicks on their posteriors from the courts. Though the asses will remain sore for quite some time, they are still not letting go their path of untruth and vow to go to the higher courts, only to be kicked again on their buttocks later. Foolishness can have such bravado, I never thought about.   

2. Modi As NDA's PM Candidate

Long awaited event for many. The anti-nationals might have wet their outfits on the prospect of dark days but this was a refreshing panorama and a ray of hope for the nation. Finally there are still some people who believe in proposing the name of a person with impeccable track record of good governance to serve the nation in a bigger role, unlike Rahul Baba who has nothing else to showcase except a bunch of sycophants who believe the sun rises from his posterior every day. I would have loved to have someone as my PM with such noteworthy and rare posterior but then the nation at its present state needs a statesman and a true leader, not a clown. Apart from the benefit the nation will harness from such bold decisions on the long run, the scary faces of all the underachievers post the announcement was interesting. Lot of people chickened out, starting with the Yuvraj, who suddenly found power is poison and all of such nonsenses. It is good 6 months since BJP made their mind but Congress is still in dilemma to whether put forward their goat fart of a prince as the principal opponent. Along with the prince, Nitish Kumar is another of the casualties. Poor guy who was dreaming of becoming the PM of the nation and smiling wickedly in his dreams is woken up to such horrific truth. Now all of a sudden he finds himself in the esteemed company of Mamata Banarjee, Mulayam Yadav, Lalu Yadav, Naveen Pattnaik; all of whom think they are capable of becoming the kind of PM that can only be possible if we roll Vajpayee, Lalbahadur Shastri and Narasimha Rao into one.

1. Tarun Tejpal In The Lift

Have you heard of the phrase – “Caught with your balls hanging?” No, because there isn't one. But then, I found this self-made proverb to best describe Tarun Tejpal’s escapade inside a Goa hotel lift. And the phrase in fact describes it in quite literal sense. This guy is another idiot like Asharam Bapu. While Asharam eyed on someone of his granddaughter’s age, this moron decided to stand a step behind and pounced on a girl of his daughter’s age. And would you believe, the day before the adventure in the lift, this jackass was seen vouching for women safety and women pride during the opening day of the THINK Idea Exchange? Great ideas must have been exchanged in that loathsome, money making THINK nonsense, I must say. If all this was not bizarre enough, the MD of the nonsense magazine that this Tejpal moron is the editor was seen shouting at the journalists for interfering in the INTERNAL matter of her magazine. Internal matter? Really? Since when sexually harassing females has become an internal matter? Might be in Soma Moron Chaudhury’s world but not in India at least. If you feel this is it then hang on. Tejpal is a pious soul so he decided to punish himself for such a heinous crime and decided to go on a self-imposed vacation cum exile to repent. What word was used to describe the pious Avatar of Tarun Tejpal? ‘Lacerate’ or something? You know what; this lout thought the average laws of the land doesn’t apply to him since he has long licked the posteriors of the dynasty and did enough character assassination of Narendra Modi with untruth to get away easily. But the law caught up with him very fast and now the jackal is packed behind where he belongs, hopefully for the rest of his rotten existence. Somebody correctly said – your sins do catch up with you at one day or the other, irrespective of the height you may be in. And the judgment day for Tarun Tejpal arrived quicker than he perhaps have imagined.

That’s concludes the list for this year. Suggestions, as I said in the beginning are heartily welcome.