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Friday, April 25, 2014

The Loathsome Characters Of This Election Season

Team Being Cynical
Whenever there is an election, irrespective of the country, it brings about a lot of loathsome characters to the fore. While the politicians remain busy with their campaign (read spewing venom against their opponents) their sidekicks routinely pollute every platform available, including but not limited to the television studios. In a race for delivering the filthiest spectacle, these sidekicks at times even outrun their masters in the act. Resultant is a murky looking scenario where everyone involved looks a bigger and better moron than the other. So this Indian election season falls into no exception with as many lout politicians and their over enthusiast sidekicks making a mess of everything. Below goes the compilation of few jokers, whom I love to address as a bunch of loathsome characters.

Sanjay Jha :- No adjective in the world can describe the kind of phenomenon he is. He pretends to be a spokesperson of the Congress party but in reality is a grade 5 doormat of the Gandhi family. I once jokingly referred – If the sun rises from Nehru’s posterior in Ramchandra Guha’s world, it rises from Rahul Gandhi’s posterior in Sanjay Jha’s world. Such a sycophant he is. Other than being a constant irritant on prime time TV, he tweets his garbage on hourly basis to showcase, none can beat him in the act of sycophancy in the entire Congress stable. Ask him anything, from his date of birth to the economy of Honduras, he will start praising Rahul Gandhi or malign few Hindus by popping up the 2002 Gujarat riots. Like a shameless bigot he regularly appears on Arnav Goswami’s shows and keeps on blabbering till Arnav himself takes the opportunity to literary rape him on national television. But that doesn’t stop this joker from coming on TV or at least try speaking sensibly for straight 30 seconds in one stretch. Such is his tremendous caliber. But I can’t blame him entirely since one is expected to lose his mental semantics if he is asked, not only to defend Rahul Gandhi’s bloopers but also to praise him. Sorry Sanjay but the call of the hour is an immediate appointment with a veterinary doctor to fix all the ailments ASAP.

Azam Khan :- Again words would fail miserably to describe this moron. Even terming him a moron would be a gross insult to other certified morons. Surprising even the voters who are tolerating this selfsame for so many years. He not only is a serial offender against everything that is categorized as sanity but also is causality to our democracy. But ask the sidekicks of the Samajwadi Party; they will assure you that this scumbag could easily be the best statesman India has ever seen. From employing the entire state’s machinery to search for his missing buffalos to skirting the issue of majority-minority for every damn thing, this scoundrel is all over the place at all the wrong occasions. While it may bewilder many on how such a rogue could survive in politics for so long, he is a dear asset to the entire Samajwadi Party; Mulayam Singh and down. His classic spectacle of declaring how it is the Muslims who won the Kargil for India, defined a new low in appeasement politics in our country. But the clown has decided to remain adamant, even after the election commission pulled down his Dhoti in public. He is second one straight in the list who must meet the veterinary doctor of his buffalos to get treatment for his fractured brain.

Imran Masood :- Krantikari, Bahut Krantikari. That said this lout is certainly a big danger to humanity, let alone our democracy. Sooner we deport this rogue to a place of his choice like Pakistan, we as a nation would do a great service to ourselves. While other jackasses could be passed off having bad mouth, this man seems to have a very bad intent. He dares Narendra Modi to come to his constituency because if Modi does, this brave heart would do a “Boti, Boti” of him because Muslims in UP are far more in numbers than what they are in Gujarat. Krantikari, Bahut Krantikari, I must say. But the irony is none of the Muslims has yet asked this moron, what he meant by his filthy utterances and why he is harming the reputation of an entire community if he can’t do any good. Rightly so, this rogue was packed behind bars but the sorry part is, the rabies infected rabid mongrel got the bail within no time. Courts should have taken cognizance of his evil intent and should have allowed this rascal some leisure time on public money and jail menu. Pity this third grade animal, that appears like a human is let lose to impart his poison on the voters of his constituents.

Mulayam Singh Yadav :- We are discussing this joker not because he is a great leader but because he thinks he is. An absolute shame on our political class. Or hang-on, may be on the entire human race. His primary job now is to day dream. And whenever he finds time from his day dreaming he smartly wears a Dhoti and insults all female members of his own family, starting with his mother. Now let’s start with his day dreaming part. Off late he has made this one of his most favorite habit – announce in regular intervals how the next government would be formed by the third front and how he can become the PM of this nation. While at it he salivates profusely with the prospect of getting an opportunity to loot the nation, much like how Prem Chopra reacts after seeing a beautiful woman in the movies. But little did he know that the nation won’t accept him as its PM even if he happens to be the last man alive on the planet. Such repugnant and rotten a person he is, both morally and ethically. And coming to his astounding ability to shame his own mother – he finds the rapists of this country as bunch of mischievous boys and a gruesome act of gang rape is a mere mistake. I am sure his mother would be cursing herself for giving birth to such a clandestine prick. And like his scumbag lieutenant Azam Khan, this moron also sees only Muslims those fought for India in Kargil. Want to call him an asshole? Then wait – even the asshole has some utility and a very important utility at that.

Giriraj Singh :- He is an idiot and please make no mistakes about it. Someone even whom his own wife may not be knowing few days back has now become a hot talking point in media all of a sudden. And all this thanks to his international standard stupidity. I never knew Modi has absolute nutcases solely surviving on smuggled crack and cocaine in his team. I am a great supporter of Modi and BJP but can’t condone the filthy utterances of this moron for once even. Every leader has his set of distractors. Few of them genuine while few others may be fabricated. Most of Modi’s distractors could easily belong to the later type but that doesn’t anyway calls for scumbags to throw open their stinking mindset. Asking Modi distractors to leave India and go to Pakistan only exposes the shit ridden psyche of this Giriraj chap. Though he thought he is doing a great service to Narendra Modi and BJP in reality he was hampering the prospects by his bile. Rightly so, he was rapped hard on his knuckles by none other than NaMo himself. To say the least, the joker needed session on a raw fact that differentiates BJP from Congress – that there is no place for sycophancy in BJP. Rogues can get away with murders and conferred with pats and Padma awards because they praise Chinese Gandhis regularly but that certainly is not the norm in BJP. For once I will be happy if this rogue of BJP is thrown behind bars for some time.

Ami Yagnik – Now I know why Congress is getting decimated in Gujarat to oblivion. Once you employ such clueless idiots as your spokesperson of the state, the only way you will head is to the gutter. And that is what is happening with Congress. Now this self-nemesis is spreading her wings beyond Gujarat and seen regularly polluting national media during prime time. She is a perfect lady avatar of Sanjay Jha. For her the Gandhi family is all that matters. And to match her persona of a perfect sycophant she is blessed with an envious repository of baseless arguments. For everything she has this capability of dragging Modi to it; doesn’t matter if it is making any sense or sounding like the reply of Krishnamacari Srikanth. I am not too ‘look’ oriented but for once I can tolerate Priyanka Chaturvedis of the world though she is equally a Grad-A moron but not his sorry piece of soul. Along with being a noise polluter like an average Congress spokesperson, this lady is a big time sight polluter as well. I am not sure what Rahul Gandhi saw in her to employ her as a spokesperson but if she happens to be the best that Rahul Gandhi can lay his hands then I pity the Shezada, Congress party and Ami Yagnik in one go.

Vinod Mehta & Arti Jayrath :- I clubbed these two notorious entities in one line because I find quite a handful of similarities between them. And the most notable among many is – they both are paid doormats of Congress party. For the namesake they call themselves as journalists but actually they are pimping for the dynasty since they days I got to know of this Congress party. Like any Congress stooge these two loathsome characters find the fault line in BJP and Narendra Modi for everything. If one marks then it will be evident how these two morons would jump in to defend Congress even before the Congress spokespersons could get a chance to react. Little told about the on screen drinking habit of Vinod Mehta is better for all of us. Half of the time he is down with a good peg or two and blabbering to glory, in the process defying all ethics of journalism. Ditto goes with Arti Jayrath though I have never seen her drunk. Classic from these two came when Sazia Ilmi advocated a new flavor of secularism. From nowhere the duo got busy slandering the entire BJP when the discussion was about Sazia and her loud mouthed oration. No wonder why half of UPA cabinet was present on Vinod Mehta’s autobiography release.

Arvind Kejriwal :- He is an Aam Aadmi and uska koi auqat nehin hai. Popularly known as the bhagoda of Indian politics. Modi showcases the politics of development while Rahul Baba showcases the politics of cluelessness and Arvind, ladies and gentlemen showcases the politics of ‘Bhagaoism’. And the philosophy is very simple – everyone attached to him shirks of his/her responsibilities and runs away from the scene. Got an absolute golden opportunity to show his mantel but ended up with some grand scale self-screwing. A major part of his 49 days dram went in some unnecessary ‘Harishchandragiri’ and almost the remaining days in Drama and Dharnas. When done with making a mess of Delhi, the Bhagoda king went national and decided to fight against Modi from Varanasi. I am not sure what he will achieve on May 16th but for sure he will get far less seats than the number of slaps he has been greeted with till now. And whenever there is a shortage of money he either gets himself slapped or one of his cronies get inked for the donations to pour in.

Priyanka Gandhi :- Another “Mera Baap, Meri Daadi” exponent. And by the way she turns one Chinese Gandhi only during election or else she remains a certain Priyanka Vadra. Jeans and T-Shirts are replaced with neatly tucked Saree. Then the global sister of all Congress stooges goes about her business of blabbering nonsense in Amethi and Rai-Bareli. Like her astounding clueless brother she keeps on repeating the same emotional lines about her Baap and Daadi but explains nothing about the mega loots that Congress party accomplished. Hang-on, she also defends her husband Robber Vadra quite violently when the need arises. She tells how she is pained by the repeated attack of the opposition on her family but never asks her husband to return all the ill earned money back for the pain to subside. She talks about the pain that her family endures because of personal attacks but never stops herself, her brother and her mother from delivering below the belt statements against Narendra Modi. A classic case of emotional convenience resulting in pathetic outcome. But I am afraid all her efforts to play the “Baap, Daadi” card will fall flat in Amethi at least where the Shezada going to lose very badly.

The Ashutosh : - One word – Vaand.

11 comments:

  1. Ha ha.. If you extend the list, the other prospects are Prakash Karat, Diggy, Kapil Sibal & of course the new TV noise some Kesarvaani of Congress...

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  2. I find the duo of Arti j and VinodM the most irritating presence. The politicians are programmed to talk ill about their opponents- blabbering or being more n more hateful and voters have option to not choose them. But the cloak of pseudo-neutraliry worn by these two so-called journos need to be ripped n thrown away and they need to be exposed for what they actually are. Btw both of them are also AAP apologists

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  3. You forgot to mention that Hindustan Times guy...he can find a piece to praise chinese gandhi's even in a scam of 2g size..

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  4. With his smirking expression and ever-ready barrage of condescending remarks, Sanjay Jha is definitely the bane of the English channel news debates.


    Actually, even when he's not around those debates are nothing special. I wish they would:


    a) Stop inviting spokespeople (especially the irritating ones) unless it's a policy-specific discussion and they need clarification on the party's standpoint


    b) Get more neutral political analysts on the panel, or if they are biased at least they should not be sycophants and be willing to criticize the party (Swapan Dasgupta-yes, Arti Jayrath-no)


    c) Drastically reduce the amount of time the anchor talks (viewers are not fools and we do not need a summary of every panelist's comment after they finish speaking)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Add Surjewala to the list. Vinod is better than Arti becase he accpets his inclination to Congress, Aarti is conpletely Congress but claims to be a "fair" journalist, furthermore on all these debates its like 1 BJP person defending 5 others (including Arnab).. may be like NAMO against most other parties (but the voters are your side ..BJP and NAMO :-)

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  6. Add Diggvijay and Abhishek Sanghvi to the list too. By the way, Congress seems to have quite a few oldies who can appear as models for the 'purple pill'. Be it ND Tiwari, Abhishek Sanghvi and now Diggvijay.. They all have a thing for much younger married women.

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  7. what about Togadia..you can add his name too...a complete moron..

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  8. The list is incomplete withour Akhilesh Yadav

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  10. What about Randeep Srjewala?

    ReplyDelete

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